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think it gives them a new lustre when they do | purpose: I have often seen from my chamber winexert themselves, seemingly to be able to do that without labour and application, which others attain to but with the greatest diligence. I am, SIR,

'Your most obliged humble servant, SAMUEL SLACK.'

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AUGUSTUS, a few moments before his death, asked his friends who stood about him, if they thought he had acted his part well; and upon receiving such an answer as was due to his extraordinary merit, Let me, then,' says he, go off the stage with your applause;' using the expression with which the Roman actors made their exit at the conclusion of a dramatic piece, I could wish that men, while they are in health, would consider well the nature of the part they are engaged in, and what figure it will make in the minds of those they leave behind them: whether it was worth coming into the world for; whether it be suitable to a reasonable being; in short, whether it appears graceful in this life, or will turn to an advantage in the next. Let the sycophant or buffoon, the satinist or the good companion, consider with himself, when his body shall be laid in the grave, and his soul pass into another state of existence, how much it would redound to his praise to have it said of him, that no man in England ate better, that he had an admirable talent at turning his friends into ridicule, that nobody outdid him at an ill-natured jest, or that he never went to bed before he had dispatched his third bottle. These are, however, very common funeral orations, and elogiums on deceased persons who have acted among mankind with some figure and reputation.

But if we look into the bulk of our species, they are such as are not likely to be remembered a moment after their disappearance. They leave behind them no traces of their existence, but are forgotten as though they had never been. They are neither wanted by the poor, regretted by the rich, por celebrated by the learned. They are neither missed in the commonwealth, nor lamented by private persons. Their actions are of no significancy to mankind, and might have been performed by creatures of much less dignity than those who are distinguished by the faculty of reason, An eminent French author speaks somewhere to the following

Vos valete et plaudite,-See the final note to the Andria,' in Cooke's Terence.

dow two noble creatures, both of them of an erect countenance and endowed with reason. These two intellectual beings are employed from morn ing to night, in rubbing two smooth stones one upon another; that is, as the vulgar phrase it, in polishing marble.

My friend, Sir Andrew Freeport, as we were sitting in the club last night, gave us an account of a sober citizen, who died a few days since. This honest man being of greater consequence in his for some years past kept a journal of his life. Sir own thoughts, than in the eye of the world, had Andrew showed us one week of it. Since the oc currences set down in it mark out such a road of action as that I have been speaking of, I shall present my reader with a faithful copy of it; after having first informed him, that the deceased per son had in his youth been bred to trade, but finding himself not so well turned for business, he had for several years last past lived altogether upon a moderate annuity.

MONDAY, eight o'clock. I put on my clothes, and walked into the parlour.

Nine o'clock ditto. Tied my knee-strings, and washed my hands.

Hours ten, eleven, and twelve. Smoked three pipes of Virginia. Read the Supplement and Daily Courant. Things go ill in the north. Mr. Nisby's opinion thereupon.

One o'clock in the afternoon. Chid Ralph for mislaying my tobacco-box.

Two o'clock. Sat down to dinner. Mem. Toe many plums, and no suet.

From three to four. Took my afternoon's map. From four to six. Walked into the fields. Wind S.S.E.

From six to ten. At the club. Mr. Nisby's opinion about the peace.

Ten o'clock. Went to bed, slept sound.

TUESDAY, being holiday, eight o'clock. Ro as usual.

Nine o'clock. Washed hands and face, shaved, put on my double-soaled shoes.

Ten, eleven, twelve. Took a walk to Islington. One. Took a pot of mother Cob's mild. Between two and three. Returned, dined on a knuckle of veal and bacon. Mem. Sprouts want ing.

Three. Nap as usual.

. From four to six. Coffee-house. Read the news. A dish of twist: Grand Visier strangled.

From six to ten. At the club. Mr. Nisby's account of the Great Turk.

Ten. Dream of the Grand Visier. Broken sleep,

WEDNESDAY, eight o'clock. Tongue of my shoe-buckle broke. Hands but not face.

Nine. Paid off the butcher's bill. Mem. To be allowed for the last leg of mutton.

Ten, eleven. At the coffee-house. More work in the north. Stranger in a black wig asked me how stocks went,

From twelve to one. Walked in the fields. Wind to the south.

From one to two, Smoked a pipe and a half. Two. Dined as usual, Stomach good. Three. Nap broke by the falling of a pewter dish. Mem. Cook-maid in love, and grown careless.

From four to six. At the coffee-house. Advice

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from Smyrna that the Grand Visier was first of all strangled, and afterwards beheaded.

Six o'clock in the evening. Was half an hour in the club before any body else came. Mr. Nisby of opinion that the Grand Visier was not strangled the sixth instant.

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Ten at night. Went to bed. Slept without No 318. waking until nine the next morning.

THURSDAY, nine o'clock. Staid within until two o'clock for Sir Timothy; who did not bring me my annuity according to his promise.

Two in the afternoon. Sat down to dinner. Loss of appetite. Small-beer sour. Beef overcorned.

Three. Could not take my nap.
Four and five. Gave Ralph a box on the ear.
Turned off my cook-maid. Sent a messenger to
Sir Timothy. Mem. I did not go to the club to-
night. Went to bed at nine o'clock.

FRIDAY. Passed the morning in meditation upon Sir Timothy, who was with me a quarter before twelve.

Twelve o'clock. Bought a new head to my cane, and a tongue to my buckle. Drank a glass of purl to recover appetite.

Two and three. Dined and slept well.
From four to six. Went to the coffee-house.
Met Mr. Nisby there. Smoked several pipes.
Mr. Nisby of opinion that laced coffee is bad for

the head.

Six o'clock. At the club as steward. Sat late. Twelve o'clock. Went to bed, dreamt that I drank small beer with the Grand Visier. SATURDAY. Waked at eleven, walked in the fields. Wind N.E.

Twelve. Caught in a shower. One in the afternoon. Returned home and dried myself.

Two. Mr. Nisby dined with me. First course, marrow-bones; second, ox-cheek, with a bottle of Brooks and Hellier.

Three o'clock. Overslept myself.


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With different talents form'd, we variously excel.


'A CERTAIN vice which you have lately attacked, has not yet been considered by you as growing so deep in the heart of man, that the affectation outlives the practice of it. You must have observed, that men who have been bred in arms preserve to the most extreme and feeble old age a certain daring in their aspect. In like manner, they who have passed their time in gallantry and adventure, keep up, as well as they can, the appearance of it, and carry a petulant inclination to their last mo ments. Let this serve for a preface to a relation I am going to give you of an old beau in town, that has not only been amorous, and a follower of women in general, but also, in spite of the admonition of grey hairs, been from his sixty-third year to his present seventieth, in an actual pursuit of a young lady, the wife of his friend, and a man of merit. The gay old Escalus has wit, good health, and is perfectly well-bred; but from the fashion and manners of the court when he was in his bloom, has such a natural tendency to amorous adventure, that he thought it would be an endless reproach to him to make no use of a familiarity he was allowed at a gentleman's house, whose good-humour and confidence exposed his wife to the addresses of any who should take it in their head to do him the good office. It is not impossible that Escalus might also resent that the husband was particularly negligent of him; and though he gave many intimations of a passion towards the wife, the husband either did not see them, or put him to the con

Six. Went to the club. Like to have fallen into tempt of overlooking them. In the mean time

a gutter. Grand Visier certainly dead, &c.

I question not but the reader will be surprised to find the above-mentioned journalist taking so much care of a life that was filled with such inconsiderable actions, and received so very small imovements; and yet if we look into the behaviour nany whom we daily converse with, we shall hat most of our hours are taken up in those taree important articles of eating, drinking, and sleeping. I do not suppose that a man loses his time, who is not engaged in public affairs, or in an illustrious course of action. On the contrary, I believe our hours may very often be more profitably laid out in such transactions as make no figure in the world, than in such as are apt to draw upon them the attention of mankind. One may become wiser and better by several methods of employing one's self in secresy and silence, and do what is laudable without noise or ostentation. I would, however, recommend to every one of my readers, the keeping a journal of their lives for one week, and setting down punctually their whole series of employments during that space of time. This kind of self-examination would give them a true state of themselves, and incline them to consider seriously what they are about. One day would rectify the Omissions of another, and make a man weigh all

Isabella, for so we shall call our heroine, saw his passion, and rejoiced in it as a foundation for much diversion, and an opportunity of indulging herself in the dear delight of being admired, addressed to, and flattered, with no ill consequence to her reputation. This lady is of a free and disengaged behaviour, ever in good humour, such as is the image of innocence with those who are innocent, and an encouragement to vice with those who are abandoned. From this kind of carriage, and an apparent approbation of his gallantry, Escalus had frequent opportunities of laying amorous epistles in her way, of fixing his eyes attentively upon her action, of performing a thousand little offices which are neglected by the unconcerned, but are so many approaches towards happiness with the enamoured. It was now, as is above hinted, almost the end of the seventh year of his passion, when Escalus from general terms, and the ambiguous respect which criminal lovers retain in their addresses, began to bewail that his passion grew too violent for him to answer any longer for his behaviour towards her, and that he hoped she would have consideration for his long and patient respect, to excuse the emotions of a heart now no longer under the direction of the unhappy owner of it. Such, for some months, had been the language of Escalus both in his talk and his letters to Isabella; who returned all

Does it not yet come into your head to imagine, that I knew my compliance was the greatest cru elty I could be guilty of towards you? In return for your long and faithful passion, I must let you know that you are old enough to become a little more gravity; but if you will leave me and coquette it any where else, may your mistress yield! "ISABELLA."



N° 319. THURSDAY, MARCH 6, 1711-12.

Quo teneam vultus mutantem Protea nodo?
HOR. Ep. i. 1. 1. ver. 90.
What chain can hold this varying Proteus fast!

the profusion of kind things which had been the collection of fifty years, with "I must not hear you; you will make me forget that you are a gentleman; I would not willingly lose you as a friend;" and the like expressions, which the skilful interpret to their own advantage, as well knowing that a feeble denial is a modest assent. I should have told you, that Isabella, during the whole progress of this amour, communicated it to her husband; and that an account of Escalus's love was their usual entertainment after half a day's absence. Isabella, therefore, upon her lover's late more open assaults, with a smile told her husband she could hold out no longer, but that his fate was now come to a crisis. After she had explained herself a little further, with her husband's approbation, she proceeded in the following manner: The next time that Escalus was alone with her, and repeated his importunity, the crafty Isabella looked on her fan I HAVE endeavoured in the course of my papers to with an air of great attention, as considering of do justice to the age, and have taken care as much what importance such a secret was to her; and as possible to keep myself a neuter between both upon the repetition of a warm expression, she I have neither spared the ladies out of looked at him with an eye of fondness, and told complaisance, nor the men out of partiality; but him he was past that time of life which could notwithstanding the great integrity with which I make her fear he would boast of a lady's favour; with an inclination to favour my own half of the have acted in this particular, I find myself taxed then turned away her head, with a very well acted confusion, which favoured the escape of the aged species. Whether it be that the women afford a Escalus. This adventure was matter of great plea-run more in my head than the men, I cannot tell, more fruitful field for speculation, or whether they santry to Isabella and her spouse; and they had enjoyed it two days before Escalus could recollect himself enough to form the following letter:

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but I shall set down the charge as it is laid against me in the following letter:

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'I ALWAYS make one among a company of young females, who peruse your speculations every moraing. I am at present commissioned by our whole assembly to let you know, that we fear you are a little inclined to be partial towards your own sex. We must however acknowledge, with all due gratitude, that in some cases you have given us our revenge on the men, and done us justice. We could not easily have forgiven you several strokes in the dissection of the coquette's heart, if you had not, much about the same time, made a sacrifice to us

"WHAT happened the other day, gives me a
lively image of the inconsistency of human passions
and inclinations. We pursue what we are denied,
and place our affections on what is absent, though
we neglected it when present. As long as you re-
fused my love, your refusal did so strongly excite
my passion, that I had not once the leisure to think
of recalling my reason to aid me against the design
upon your virtue. But when that virtue began to
comply in my favour, my reason made an effort
over my love, and let me see the baseness of my
behaviour in attempting a woman of honour. Iof a beau's scull *.
own to you, it was not without the most violent
struggle, that I gained this victory over myself;
nay, I will confess my shame, and acknowledge I
could not have prevailed but by flight. However,
Madam, I beg that you will believe a moment's
weakness has not destroyed the esteem I had for
you, which was confirmed by so many years of ob-
stinate virtue. You have reason to rejoice that
this did not happen within the observation of one
of the young fellows, who would have exposed
your weakness, and gloried in his own brutish in-


"I am, MADAM,

"Your most devoted humble servant."

'You may further, sir, please to remember, that not long since you attacked our hoods and commodes + in such manner, as, to use your own ex pression, made very many of us ashamed to show our heads. We must, therefore, beg leave to represent to you, that we are in hopes, if you would please to make a due inquiry, the men in all age would be found to have been little less whimsical in adorning that part than ourselves. The different forms of their wigs, together with the various cocka of their hats, all flatter us in this opinion,

'I had an humble servant last summer, who the first time he declared himself was in a full-bottomed wig; but the day after, to my no small surprise, he accosted me in a thin natural one. I

✦ Isabella, with the help of her husband, returned received him at this our second interview as a perthe following answer:

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fect stranger, but was extremely confounded when his speech discovered who he was. I resolved, therefore, to fix his face in my memory for the future; but, as I was walking in the Park the same evening, he appeared to me in one of those wigs that I think you call a night-cap, which had altered him more effectually than before. Hie afterwards played a couple of black riding-w upon me with the same success; and, in short, assumed a new face almost every day in the first month of his courtship.

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'I observed afterwards that the variety of cocks into which he moulded his hat, had not a little contributed to his impositions upon me.

'Yet, as if all these ways were not sufficient to distinguish their heads, you must doubtless, sir, have observed, that great numbers of young fellows have, for several months last past, taken upon them to wear feathers.

'We hope, therefore, that these may, with as much justice, be called Indian princes, as you have styled a woman in a coloured hood an Indian queen; and that you will in due time take these airy gentlemen into consideration.

We the more earnestly beg that you would put a stop to this practice, since it has already lost us one of the most agreeable members of our society, who, after having refused several good estates, and two titles, was lured from us last week by a mixed


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'I PRESUME I need not inform you, that among men of dress it is a common phrase to say, "Mr. Such-a-one has struck a bold stroke;" by which we understand that he is the first man who has had courage enough to lead up a fashion. Accordingly, when our tailors take measure of us, they always demand "whether we will have a plain suit, or strike a bold stroke." I think I may without vanity say, that I have struck some of the boldest and most successful strokes of any man in Great Britain. I was the first that struck the long pocket about two years since; I was likewise the author of the frosted button, which, when I saw the town came readily into, being resolved to strike while the iron was hot, I produced much about the same time, the scallop flap, the knotted cravat, and made a fair push for the silver-clocked stocking.

A few months after I brought up the modish jacket, or the coat with close sleeves. I struck this at first in a plain Doily; but that failing, I struck it a second time in blue camblet; and repeated the stroke in several kinds of cloth, until at last it took effect. There are two or three young fellows at the other end of the town, who have always their eye upon me, and answer me stroke for stroke. I was once so unwary as to mention my fancy in relation to a new-fashioned surtout before one of these gentlemen, who was disingenuous enough to steal my thought, and by that means prevented my intended stroke.

I have a design this spring to make very considerable innovations in the waistcoat; and have already begun with a coup d'essai upon the sleeves, which has succeeded very well.

، I must further inform you, if you will promise In the folio edition, the words are, "only an ensign in the Train-bands."

to encourage, or at least to connive at me, that it is my design to strike such a stroke the beginning of the next month as shall surprise the whole town.

'I do not think it prudent to acquaint you with all the particulars of my intended dress; but will only tell you as a sample of it, that I shall very speedily appear at White's in a cherry-coloured hat. I took this hint from the ladies' hoods, which I look upon as the boldest stroke that sex has struck for these hundred years last past. ، I am, SIR, ، Your most obedient, 'most humble servant, 'WILL. SPRIGHTLY.'

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You have given many hints in your papers to the disadvantage of persons of your own sex, who lay plots upon women. Among other hard words you have published the term "Male Coquets," and been very severe upon such as give themselves the liberty of a little dalliance of heart, and playing fast and loose between love and indifference, until perhaps an easy young girl is reduced to sighs, dreams, and tears; and languishes away her life for a careless coxcomb, who looks astonished, and wonders at such an effect from what in him was all but common civility. Thus you have treated the men who are irresolute in marriage; but if you design to be impartial, pray be so honest as to print the information I now give you, of a certain but, with an high hand, marry whom they please set of women who never coquette for the matter, to whom they please. As for my part, I should not have concerned myself with them, but that I understand I am pitched upon by them to be married, against my will, to one I never saw in my life. It has been my misfortune, sir, very innocently, to rejoice in a plentiful fortune, of which I rections for two or three handsome snuff-boxes, am master, to bespeak a fine chariot, to give diand as many suits of fine clothes; but before any of these were ready, I heard reports of my being to be married to two or three different young women. Upon my taking notice of it to a young gentleman who is often in my company, he told me, smiling, I was in the inquisition. You may believe I was not a little startled at what he meant, and more so when he asked me if I had bespoke any thing of late that was fine. I told him, several; upon which he produced a description of my person, from the tradesmen whom I had employed, and told me, that they had certainly informed against me. Mr.Spectator, whatever the world may think of me, I am more coxcomb than fool, and I grew very inquisitive upon this head,

not a little pleased with the novelty. My friend told me, there were a certain set of women of fashion, whereof the number of six made a committee, who sat thrice a week, under the title of “The Inquisition on Maids and Bachelors." It seems, whenever there comes such an unthinking gay thing as myself to town, he must want all manner of necessaries, or be put into the inquisition by the first tradesman he employs. They have constant intelligence with cane-shops, perfumers, toymen, coach-makers, and china-houses. From these several places these undertakers for marriages have as constant and regular correspondence, as the funeral men have with vintners and apothecaries. All bachelors are under their immediate inspection, and my friend produced to me a report given in to their board, wherein an old uncle of mine, who came to town with me, and myself, were inserted, and we stood thus: the uncle smoky, rotten, poor; the nephew raw, but no fool; sound at present, very rich. My information did not end here; but my friend's advices are so good, that he could show me a copy of the letter sent to the young lady who is to have me; which I inclose to you:

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What makes my correspondent's case the more deplorable is, that as I find by the report from my censor of marriages, the friend he speaks of is employed by the inquisition to take him in, as the phrase is. After all that is told him, he has information only of one woman that is laid for him, and that the wrong one; for the lady commissioners have devoted him to another than the person against whom they have employed their agent his friend to alarm him. The plot is laid so well about this young gentleman, that he has no friend to retire to, no place to appear in, or part of the kingdom to fly into, but he must fall into the notice, and be subject to the power of the inquisition. They have their emissaries and substitutes in all parts of this united kingdom. The first step they usually take is, to find from a correspondence, by their messengers and whisperers, with some domestic of the bachelor (who is to be hunted into the toils they have laid for him), what are his manners, his familiarities, his good qualities, or vices; not as the good in him is a recommendation, or the ill a diminution, but as they affect to contribute to the main inquiry, what estate he has in him. When this point is well reported to the board, they can take in a wild roaring fox-hunter, as easily as a soft, gentle young fop of the town. The way is, to make all places uneasy to him, but the scenes in which they have allotted him to act. His brother huntsmen, bottle companions, his fraternity of fops, shall be brought into the conspiracy against him. Then this matter is not laid in so barefaced a manner before him as to have it intimated, Mrs. Sucha-one would make him a very proper wife; but by the force of their correspondence they shall make it (as Mr. Waller said of the marriage of the dwarfs) as impracticable to have any woman besides her they design him, as it would have been in Adam to have refused Eve. The man named by

the commission for Mrs. Such-a-one, shall neither be in fashion, nor dare ever to appear in company, should he attempt to evade their determination.

The female sex wholly govern domestic life; and by this means, when they think fit, they can sow dissentions between the dearest friends, nay, make father and son irreconcileable enemies, in spite of all the ties of gratitude on one part, and the duty of protection to be paid on the other. The ladies of the inquisition understand this perfectly well; and where love is not a motive to a man's choosing one whom they allot, they can, with very much art, insinuate stories to the disadvantage of his honesty or courage, till the creature is too much dispirited to bear up against a general ill reception which he every where meets with, and in due time falls into their appointed wedlock for shelter. I have a long letter, bearing date the fourth instant, which gives me a large account of the policies of this court; and find there is now before them a very refractory person, who has escaped all their machinations for two years last past: but they have prevented two successive inatches which were of his own inclination; the one by a report that his mistress was to be married, and the very day appointed, wedding-clothes bought, and all things ready for her being given to another; the second time by insinuating to all his mistress's friends and acquaintance, that he had been false to several other women, and the like. The poor man is now reduced to profess he designs to lead a single life; but the inquisition give out to all his acquaintance, that nothing is intended but the gentleman's own welfare and happiness, When this is urged, he talks still more humbly, and protests he aims only at a life without pain or reproach; pleasure, honour, and riches, are things for which he has no taste. But notwithstanding all this, and what else he may defend himself with, as that the lady is too old or too young; of a suitable humour, or the quite contrary; and that it is impossible they can ever do other than wrangle from June to January, every body tells him all this is spleen, and he must have a wife; while all the members of the inquisition are unanimous in certain woman for him, and they think they all together are better able to judge than he, or any other private person whatsoever.

6 SIR, Temple, March 5, 1711. "YOUR speculation this day on the subject of idleness has employed me, ever since I read it, in sorrowful reflections on my having loitered away the term (or rather the vacation) of ten years in this place, and unhappily suffered a good chamber and study to lie idle as long. My books (except those I have taken to sleep upon) have been to tally neglected, and my Lord Coke and other ve nerable authors were never so slighted in their lives. I spend most of the day at a neighbouring coffee-house, where we have what I may call a lazy club. We generally come in night-gowns, with our stockings about our heels, and sometime but one on. Our salutation at entrance is a yawa and a stretch, and then without more ceremony we take our place at the lolling-table, where our discourse is, what I fear you would not read out, therefore shall not insert. But I assure you, s I

heartily lament this loss of time, and am Dow resolved (if possible, with double diligence) to re trieve it, being effectually awakened by the argu ments of Mr. Slack, out of the senseless stupidity

• N° 316. See also No 54.

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