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Wretch all Mankind your Folly will decry:
From Sloth, that wicked 8 Siren, swiftly fly,
Or be content to give up all the Praise
Due to your ftudious Life and 9 better Days.
HORACE.

Oh! may the Gods and Goddeffes, my Friend,
To thee for this Advice a 10 Barber fend!
But how canft thou fuch Knowledge of me boaft?
DAMASIP PUS.

Since at th' Exchange my whole Estate I lost
By luckless Barter, other Mens Affairs,

Now banish'd from my own, employ my Cares.
Before, vaft Sums for Cauldrons rare I gave,
In which fly 11 Sifyphus was wont to lave;
In Vases, Bufts, was Arbiter of Tafte,

Knew which was rudely wrought, which nicely caft:
1 for fix hundred Crowns (worth hundreds more)
One Statue 12 fhrewdly added to my Store.
Gardens and stately Houses too I bought,
Which all, when fold, Increase of Profit brought;
And hence on Me the Title was conferr'd

Of Hermes' Favourite.

HORACE.

All this I've heard;

And wonder what remov'd this ftrange Disease. DAMASIP P U S.

From old Complaints a new Diftemper frees. Thus Head-achs, Pleurefies, with varying Rage, Oft in the Bowels War inteftine wage:

VOL. III.

H

Thus,

Thus, rous'd from Slumber, a lethargic Drone To cudgel his Physician has been known.

HORACE.

Be what you will, but, Oh! this Frenzy spare. DAMASIPPUS.

Of this Miftake moft cautioufly beware; Think not Me only mad; for know, all Fools Are alfo mad, by wife Stertinius' Rules,

Who gave me thefe fage Precepts; and when Grief Opprefs'd me, kindly flew to my Relief, As, on Fabricius' Bridge, prepar'd I stood, With 13 muffled Head, to plunge into the Flood. To his Advice this reverend Beard I owe; When frantic with my Lofs, he footh'd myWoe, And made me thence return (Thanks to kind Fate Who brought him thither!) with a Mind fedate. "O Damafippus, (he exclaim'd,) forbear, Nor to commit fo rash an Action dare! • Idle your 14 Shame; where all as mad appear, Say, why fhould you the Charge of Madness fear? • Firft know its Meaning; and, if only you It fuits, your Purpose, unreftrain'd, pursue. • The Man, whom reftlefs Paffions lead aftray, • Or Ignorance of Truth, this Man, I fay, • Is counted mad by fage 15 Chryfippus' School : To Subjects, and to Kings, extends this Rule, To all, except the Wife -Now hear, and know How thofe, who call you mad, like Madness show.

• As

As Travellers, bewilder'd in the Night, 'Mistake their Road; this journeys to the Right, 'That to the Left, and yet are both misled, 'Thro' different Paths tho' eagerly they tread ; • So think yourself indeed a Fool, yet they, · Who laugh at you, a dangling Tail display.

• One Sort of Frenzy fo o'erpowers the Heart, That Men at vain, imagin'd Terrors ftart; * On level Ground, before their wondering Eyes Obftructing Trees, and Rocks, and Rivers rife.

Others, no lefs extravagant than those,

Rush headlong ev'n where Flames and Floods oppose;

Tho' Mother, Sifter, Father, Wife, and Friends • Exclaim, "Lo! here a mighty Rock afcends, "There lies a dreadful Gulf," he hears no more Than 16 Fufius, who, in Hecuba, of yore, 'Slept fo profoundly in a drunken Fit, "That Catienus and the crowded Pit

• Strove all in vain to rouse him with their Cries, Refounding, "O my Mother, wake, arise !"

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Now let me fhow you, how in all Mankind. < Some epidemic Madness fires the Mind. You, Damafippus, act a frantic Part In buying the Remains of ancient Art: • But tell me, I intreat, and tell me true, • Is not your Creditor as mad as you ?

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For fhould I thus accoft you: "Take my Purfe, "And what you pleafe, without Account, difburfe," . Would it be Madness in you to comply, • Or would it not be Madness to deny ? And fhould the Creditor in Answer fay, "He gives his Bond this Money to repay;" • Confult Cicuta too, who knows to draw With fkilful Care the ftrongeft Knots of Law, Yet will this wicked Proteus burft his Chains, • And, when arraign'd, deride your fruitless Pains, < Chang'd to a Rock or Tree; or now will foar Like a fleet Bird, now wallow like a Boar. If Folly conftant Diffipation brings, 'Oeconomy of course from Wisdom springs; Petillius then is far, far more infane,

• Who lends you what he never will regain. 'Ho! to my Lecture hafte, all ye whose Breasts Ambition racks, or Avarice molefts;

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Compofe your Robes, and lend a listening Ear: You too, ye Sons of Superftition, hear; Hear, ye Luxurious, Senfual, all Mankind Who pine with baneful Maladies of Mind ; • In Order come; of thefe, I'll clearly prove, 'Not one the Charge of Madness can remove.

The largest Share of Hellebore to you, < Ye Avaricious, is moft juftly due; Indeed I know not but impartial Senfe To you may all 17 Anticyra difpenfe.

"Staberius'

<

Staberius' Heirs, to make his Riches known,

'Were charg'd to grave them on his Funeral Stone,

And doom'd to feaft, if guilty of Neglect,

< The Citizens, as Arrius fhould direct,

Two hundred Gladiators to maintain,

And furnish Corn in Heaps like Afric's Plain : "Whether 'tis right or wrong, fo I devise; "'Tis not your Bufinefs," the Teftator cries. Methinks, Staberius' Wisdom here was feen'--DAMASIPPU S

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[mean Wisdom! What, pr'ythee, could the Dotard By graving on his Tomb the Sums bequeath'd? STERTINIUS.

Of every Vice the greateft, while he breath'd,
He reckon❜d Poverty, and nought befide

So much he fear'd, as poorer to have died.
The lefs Eftate he dying left behind, [Mind:
The more deprav'd he would have thought his
For 18 every Grace, or human or divine, [thine;
Fame, Beauty, Courage, Honour, WEALTH! are
And he who piles up Gold, to all Mens Eyes
Will ftrait seem valiant, juft, renown'd, and wife,
Nay, ev'n a King; or whatfoe'er he will:
By this he hop'd the Trump of Fame to fill.

19 How diff'rent Ariftippus! He, we're told,
Enjoin'd his Slaves, retarded by their Gold,
On Libya's Plains, to throw it all away:
Which feems moft Signs of Madness to display?

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