posed to render unto God the things that are God's.Good-night, Mr. Tub."

"You understand managing that old chap, I perceive, brother Smearsoul,” remarked Asaph Spume, as arm in arm the two reverend gentlemen trudged homeward together; "you are safe for a doubling of his subscription for the ensuing year, at least, and I should not be surprised if he sent you a good round present, by way of a preliminary peace-offering, ere to-morrow's sun goes down. The old fellow, I take it, has pretty well lined his pouch from those broad flats of his."

"Yes, and from a long course of dealing in his store which borders as closely on the nefarious as the law will allow," answered Mr. Smearsoul. "There are but two things which prevent his being a rogue outright within the widest limits of the law; those are, a fear of losing his custom by being turned out of church; and a fear of being endlessly damned in the future life. I find that, among my male members, it is only the baser and more ignorant class that I can affect by the latter consideration. By the

way Keziah Tub-you noticed her did you not? She is a saint-the salt of the family and would make a good wife, no doubt."

"And whoever gets her will get spoons with her-heigh?" laughingly put in the pious Asaph. "Ah, ah! brother Smearsoul-she is the salt of the family, is she? and you think of pickling yourself in that barrel? Pretty good-pretty good, brother Smearsoul." Thus sported the two parsons.

The Tub family, meanwhile, repaired to bed, but not-so far as respects the elder and Dorothy-to sleep. On the contrary, they lay awake the livelong night, engaged in active diplomatic scheming and contriving.

"It would be inconvenient to be turned out of church now," concluded the elder, for the late revival has very considerably increased its members, and I shall have nearly all thar custom at my store if I retain my standing."

"And besides that," put in Dorothy, "our Keziah is getting well along in years, and ought to be married if she is ever going to be. Mr. Smearsoul has a high opinion.

of her piety, and praises her gift in prayer. It would help our influence mightily if a match could be made between them."

"And another thing," added the elder, people are taking on mightily now-a-days about temperance. I have been urged to sign the pledge several times of late, and have promised to do so when I have sold out my present stock of liquors. Deacon Splawfoot, too, has been compelled to stop his distillery. Now I can manage, by watering them pretty freely, to make my liquors hold out for a considerable time, and they will bring a better price now that the deacon's distillery is stopt."

Well, the result arrived at by the pious old couple was, that the elder should visit parson Smearsoul early next morning-confess to him his mental backslidings-lay the whole blame thereof upon the devilprofess a greater horror of heresy than he had ever experienced before-double his subscription for the parson's salary-and enjoin on parson Smearsoul the obligation of secrecy relative to the whole business.*

*This may account why the people about there are

"And," added the provident Dorothy, "it will be as well when you start fer thar, to have Cesar put a bag of apples into the wagon, and a bushel or two of corn, for a present to Mr. Smearsoul."

It remains but to be added, reader, that in all these worldly-wise calculations our hero sped to admiration. He was retained in his ecclesiastical standing and dignity. His liquors held out to admiration. The taint of heresy never afterward attached to him, for, aware of his vulnerability to suspicion on that score, he goes the whole animal' in the opposite direction. He therefore has nearly the whole run of church custom; and, what goes still more to enlarge and strengthen his influence to that effect, is, that she who was once Miss Keziah Tub, is now Mrs. Smearsoul.

As to the impious goblin Paddle, he has never since been seen in the parts, either on foot or on horseback; and devoutly is it to be wished that he never will.

not informed of the facts of this history, which is now, for the first time, given to the public.

APPENDIX

TO THE FOREGOING NARRATIVE.

THE foregoing narrative, gentle reader, is in a lighter and more ludicrous strain than it suits the author's general taste to write, or yours, it may be, to peruse; if you have supposed his design therein to have been mere amusement, at the expense of opinions and usages held sacred by many, you have greatly misconceived it. An author, as well as a public speaker, finds that different modes of address must be resorted to, in order to gain access to different minds. Some may be reached by closely reasoned argumentation-some would prefer to have the argument diluted with some florid and gratuitous declamation-some require to be stung into reflection with sarcasm-and some with playful satire. In this case, the design has been to bring before the mind some facts connected with the notion of endless misery, which are not generally taken into the account when that topic is under consideration; but which, on account of their magnitude, are worthy of a place in the serious thoughts of all; and if the undeniable results of a doctrine are to have any bearing on the decision as to its truth or fal