CHAPTER VII. Paddle's last visit, wherein he assumeth, with a sort of Dutch-uncle freedom, to be wiser in regard to the means and chances of salvation, than are even pious ministers whose trade it is to be so. He also indulgeth an impious license of remark on many mysterious matters connected with the popular form of Christianity, for the which he will not be likely to obtain credit with the godly reader. Nevertheless, it was deemed fitting that the same should be recorded, since it illustrateth the sophistries with which Satan is wont to assail pious ears, in order to the shaking of their faith in the mysteries of their holy religion. The elder confesseth a leaning to heresy, in the private ears of his spouse Dorothy, and this leadeth to a satisfactory clearing up of the matter of Paddle's appearances. "AHEM! Out late this evening, Mr. Tub -hope you've profited by the wholesome communications of your friend Paddle, for you are to be favored with no more of them after to-night. You must therefore 'give the more earnest heed to the things you have heard, lest at any time you should let them slip;' these things, Mr. Tub, will make you 'wise unto'-but no matter what —I marvellously incline to be scriptural to-night-a natural result of my serious habits, no doubt." Thus was our elder addressed on his way from church one misty evening, whither he had been for several successive preceding days and nights to hear the Rev. Asaph Spume, who had worked up quite a revival in Parson Smearsoul's church. Now this the Rev. Asaph aforesaid could do in any church whatever, for he had the remarkable faculty of taking the Holy Ghost with him to wheresoever he had contracted to get up a revival. Parson Smearsoul had not such faculty; he had therefore engaged his reverend brother Spume to do the thing for him --which was very proper, of course. On the evening aforesaid a chilly mist was falling, through which the moonbeams struggled with a faint and sickly light, which barely enabled our hero to perceive that the incorrigible Paddle was at his side, and mounted on a horse which, whether he quickened his gait or retarded it, kept exactly even pace with his own. "Mr. Paddle," said the elder, "I would not like the comfortable frame of my mind disturbed at present by the matters to which you allude: I have been listening to a most edifying discourse about the devil, and his various devices for entrapping newly converted souls, of which several have been added to the church during this gracious outpouring. That precious man, the Rev. Asaph Spume, is remarkably acquainted with the numerous tricks and stratagems of Satan" "And reason good," interrupted Paddle; "the godly man has much connexion with him, and is often caught in his net. And suppose you, Mr. Tub, that the devil was not present whilst he was thus preached about? Let me tell you, the sermon had no auditor more wakefully attentive thereto than was he; and the chances are many that he whispered in the preacher's ear at the close, 'What a splendid sermon! Everybody must have admired it. See how the eyes of those fair sisters are sparkling on you with admiration! Such talents must win you favor everywhere, and bring you so much into requisition that you may assure yourself of plenty of honor and emol ument.' "For the devil being a free commoner all over creation, Mr. Tub, is always at hand where, and when, he conceives his services to be most necessary. That he is an old and regular church-goer you may learn from the sacred oracles; for as long ago as in Job's day, 'when the sons of God came up to present themselves before the Lord, Satan came also amongst them.' Hence, a quaint old couplet saith most truly, that— 'There's nowhere found a house of prayer, Your old divines were all well aware of this hence, when Whitefield was once informed that he had preached a very able sermon, he replied that the devil had so informed him before he came out of the pulpit. So you see, Mr. Tub, that the devil was very probably present while brother Spume was so dexterously exposing his arts to your people." Paddle paused, and the two continued to jog along side by side in silence for half a mile or so, when the elder, remembering the direction of Mr. Spume, that when the devil comes with his evil suggestions it is best to ejaculate short prayers, or to sing a verse or two of some solemn hymn, broke forth into the following fragmentary stanzas: "Dangers stand thick thro' all the ground To push us to the tomb, And fierce diseases wait around Great God, on what a slender thread Th' eternal states of all the dead Infinite joy, or endless woe, "Hold up awhile, Mr. Tub," broke in the goblin, "and allow me to ask, who hung those everlasting things on that slender thread? The Creator himself, of course, and of course, too, he knew how slender the thread was, and how momentous were the interests dependent on it! Surely, then, he must have held those interests very cheaply to |