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• remember the concern I was in upon the filt notice I took of your regard " to that lord; and forgive me, who had a tender friendship for your mother, (now in the grave) that I am vigilant of your conduct. She went on with much feverity, and after great folicitation prevailed on me to go with her into the country, and th re fpend the enfuing fummer out of the way of a man fhe faw I loved, and one whom the perceived meditated my ruin, by frequently defiring her to introduce him to me; which the abfolutely refufed, except he would give his honour that he had no other delign but to marry me. To her country-houfe a week or two after we went: there was at the farther end of her garden, a kind of wildernefs, in the middle of which ran a foft rivulet by an arbour of jeffamine. In this place I ufually paffed my retired hours, and read fome romantic or poetical tale until the clofe of the evening. It was near that time in the heat of the fuminer, when gentle winds, foft murmurs of water, and notes of nightingales, had given my mind an indolence, which added to that repofe of foul twilight and the end of a warm day naturally throws upon the spirits. It was at fuch an hour, and in fuch a ftate of tranquillity I fat, when, to my inexpreffible amazement, I faw my lord walking towards me, whom I knew not until that moment to have been in the country. I could obferve in his approach the perplexity which attends a man big with defign; and I had, while he was coming forward, time to reflect that I was betrayed; the fenfe of which gave me a refentment fuitable to fuch a bafenefs: but when he entered into the hower where I was, my heart flew towards him, and, I confefs, a certain joy came into my mind, with an hope that he might then make a declaration of honour and paflion. This threw my eye upon him with fuch tenderness, as gave him power, with a broken accent, to begin Madam-You will wonder-For it is certain, you muit have obferved-Though I fear you will mifinterpret the motives- -But by Heaven, and all that is facred! if you could.' Here he made a full ftand, and I recovered power to fay

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The conternation I am in you will not, I hope, believe-An helplefs innocent maid-Befides that, the

place. He faw me in as great confufion as himself; which attributing to the fame caufes, he had the audacioufnels to throw himself at my feet, talk of the ftilnefs of the evening, and then ran into deifications of my perfon, pure flames, conftant love, eternal raptures, and a thousand other phrafts drawn from the images we have of heaven, which all men ufe for the fervice of hell, when run over with uncommon vehemence. After which he feized me in his arms: his deign was too evident. In my utmoft diftrefs I fell upon my knees: My lord, pity me, on my 'knees-On my knees in the caufe of virtue, as you were lately in that of wickednefs. Can you think of deftroying the labour of a whole life, the purpose of a long education, for the bafe fervice of a fudden appetite; to throw one that loves you, that doats on you, out of the company and the road of all that is virtuous and praife-worthy? Have I taken in all the inftructions of piety, religion, and reafon, for no other end but to be the facrifice of luft, and abandoned to fcorn? Assume yourfelf, my lord, and do not attempt to vitiate a temple facred to innocence, honour, and religion. If I have injured you, stab this bofom, and let me die, but not be ruined by the hand I love.' The ardency of my paflion made me incapable of uttering more; and I faw my lover aftonifhed, and reformed by my behaviour; when ruthed in Sempronia. Ha! faithlefs, bafe man! could you then teal out of town, and lurk like a robber about my house for fuch brutish purposes!'

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My lord was by this time recovered, and fell into a violent laughter at the turn which Sempronia defigned to give her villainy. He bowed to me with the utmoft refpe&t: Mrs. Difaff,' said he, ⚫ be careful hereafter of your company;" and fo retired. The fiend Sempronia congratulated my deliverance with a flood of tears.

This nobleman has fince frequently made his addrefles to me with honour: but I have as often refufed them; as well knowing that familiarity and marriage will make him, on fome ill-natured occafion, call all I faid in the arbour a theatrical action. Befides that, I glory in contemning a man who had thoughts to my difhonour. If this method were the

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TATLER.

Publribed as the Act directs. by Harrifon &C. Aug 20.1785.

Angus

the imitation of the whole fex, innocence would be the only drefs of beauty; and all affectation by any other arts to please the eyes of men would be banished to the fews for ever. The conquest of paflion gives ten times more happiness than we can reap from the gratification of it; and the that has got over fuch a one as mine, will ftand among Beaux and Pretty Fellows, with as much fafety as in a fummer's day among grafhoppers and butterflies.

P. S. I have ten millions of things more against men, if I ever get the pen again.

ST. JAMES'S COFFEE-HOUSE, JUNE 24.

OUR laft advices from the Hague, dated the twenty-eighth instant, N.S. fay, that on the twenty-fifth, a fquadron of Dutch men of war failed out of the Texel to join Admiral Baker at Spithead. The twenty-fixth was obferved as a day of fasting and humiliation, to

implore a bleffing on the arms of the Allies this enfuing campaign. Letters from Drefden are very particular in the account of the gallantry and magnificence, in which that court has appear ed fince the arrival of the King of Denmark. No day has paffed in which public fhows have not been exhibited for his entertainment and diverfion: the laft of that kind which is mentioned is a Caroufal, wherein many of the youth of the first quality, dreffed in the most fplendid manner, ran for the prize. His Danish Majefty condefcended to the fame; but having obferved that there was a design laid to throw it in his way, paffed by without attempting to gain it. The court of Drefden was preparing to accompany his Danish Majefty to Potfdam, where the expectation of an interview of three kings had drawn together fuch multitudes of people, that many perfons of diftinction will be obliged to lie in tents, as long as thofe courts continue in that place.

No XXXIV. TUESDAY, JUNE 28, 1709.

BY ISAAC BICKERSTAFF, ESQUIRE. WHITE'S CHOCOLATE-HOUSE, JUNE 25. upon me

AVING

lead us. Ever fince fhe took the liquor, which I call Bickerstaff's Circumfpection-water, fhe looks right forward, and

being looked at for half a day

HAY LNG fake which procced without returning one glance. This

from the affections of the mind, I have laboured, fince I first kept this public ftage, to do all the good I could, and have perfected many cures at my own lodgings; carefully avoiding the common method of mountebanks, to do their most eminent operations in fight of the people; but must be fo jutt to my patients as to declare, they have teftified under their hands their fenfe of my poor abilities, and the good I have done them, which I publish for the benefit of the world, and not out of any thoughts of private advantage.

I have cured fine Mrs. Spry of a great imperfection in her eyes, which made her eternally rolling them from one coxcomb to another in public places, in fo languishing a manner, that it at once leffened her own power, and her be holders vanity. Twenty drops of my ink, placed on certain letters on which fhe attentively looked for half an hour, have rettored her to the true ufe of her fight; which is, to guide, and not mif

water has a peculiar virtue in it, which makes it the only true cofmetic or beauty-wash in the world: the nature of it is fuch, that if you go to a glafs with a defign to admire your face, it immediately changes it into downright deformity.

If you confult it only to look with a better countenance upon your friends, it immediately gives an alacrity to the vifage, and new grace to the whole perfon. There is indeed a great deal owing to the conftitution of the person to whom it is applied: it is in vain to give it when the patient is in the rage of the diftemper; a bride in her first month, a lady foon after her husband's being knighted, or any perfon of either fex, who has lately obtained any new fortune or preferment, must be prepared fome time before they use it. It has an effect upon others, as well as the patient, when it is taken in due form. Lady Petulant has by the use of it cured her husband of jealoufy; and Lady Gad her whole neighbourhood of detraction.

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The fame of these things, added to my being an old fellow, makes me extremely acceptable to the fair-fex. You would hardly believe me, when I tell you there is not a man in town fo much their delight as myself. They make no more of vifiting me, than going to Madam D'Epingle's; there were two of them, namely, Damia and Clidamira, (I affure you women of diftinction) who came to see me this morning in their way to prayers; and being in a very diverting humour, (as innocence always makes people chearful) they would needs have me, according to the diftinction of Pretty and Very Pretty Fellows, inform them, if I thought either of them had a title to the Very Pretty among thofe of their own fex; and if I did, which was the more deferving of the two?

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To put them to the trial-Look ye,' faid I, I must not rafhly give my judgment in matters of this importance; pray let me fee you dance, I play upon the kit. They immediately fell back to the lower end of the room, (you may be fure they curtfied low enough to me) and began. Never were two in the world fo equally matched, and both fcholars to my name-fake Ifaac. Never was man in fo dangerous a condition as myfelf, when they began to expand their charms. Oh, ladies, ladies!' cried I, not half that air; you will fire the houfe. Both smiled; for by the by, there is no carrying a metaphor too far when a lady's charms are fpoke of. Somebody, I think, has called a fine woman dancing, a brandifhed torch of beauty. Thefe rivals moved with fuch an agreeable freedom, that you would believe their gefture was the neceflary effect of the mufic, and not the product of skill and practice. Now Clidamira came on with a crowd of graces, and demanded my judgment with fo fweet an air-And the had no fooner carried it, but Damia made her utterly forget by a gentle finking, and a rigadoon ftep. The contest held a full half-hour; and I proteft I faw no manner of difference in their perfections, until they came up together, and expected fentence: Look ye, ladies,' faid I, 'I fee no difference in the leaft in your performance.-But you, Clidamira, feem to be fo well fatisfied, that I fhall determine for you, that I muft give it to Damia, who ftands with fo much difidence and fear, after thewing an equal merit

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FROM MY OWN APARTMENT, JUNE27.

BEING of a very fpare and hective conftitution, I am forced to make frequent journies of a mile or two for fresh air; and indeed by this laft, which was no farther than the village of Chelsea, I am farther convinced of the neceffity of travelling to know the world. For as it is ufual with young voyagers, as foon as they land upon a fhore, to begin their accounts of the nature of the people, their foil, their government, their inclinations, and their paffions; fo really I fancied I could give you an immedi ate defcription of this village, from the five fields where the robbers lie in wait, to the coffee-houfe where the literati fit in council. A great ancestor of our's by the mother's fide, Mr. Juftice Overdo, (whofe hiftory is written by Ben Johnfon) met with more enormities by walking incognito than he was capable of correcting, and found great mortifications in obferving alfo perfons of emi nence, whom he before knew nothing of.

Thus it fared with me, even in a place fo near the town as this. When I came into the coffee-house, I had not time to falute the company, before my eye was diverted by ten thousand gimcracks, round the room, and on the cieling. When my first astonishment was over, comes to me a fage of a thin and meagre countenance; which afpect made me doubt, whether reading or fretting had made it fo philofophic: but I very foon perceived him to be of that feet which the ancients call Gingivistæ; in our language, Tooth-drawers. I immediately had a respect for the man; for thefe practical philofophers go upon a very rational hypothefis, not to cure, but to take away the part affected. My love of mankind made me very benevo lent to Mr. Salter; for fuch is the name of this eminent barber and antiquary. Men are ufually, but unjustly, distinguished rather by their fortunes than their talents, otherwife this perfonage

would

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