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ON THE FEUDS ABOUT HANDEL AND BONONCINI.
STRANGE! all this difference should be
ON MRS. TOFTS *.
So bright is thy beauty, so charming thy song,
That the beasts must have starv'd, and the poet have died.
Mrs. Tofts was the daughter of a person in the family of Dr. Burnet, bishop of Salisbury. She lived at the introduction of the opera into this kingdom, and sang in company with Nicolini; but, being ignorant of Italian, chanted her recitative in English, in answer to his Italian: but the charms of their voices overcame this absurdity. Her character may be collected from the above epigram. She retired from England, and died at Venice about the year 1760. N.
TWO OR THREE:
OR, A RECEIPT TO MAKE A CUCKOLD.
Two or three visits, and two or three bows, Two or three civil things, two or three vows, Two or three kisses, with two or three sighs, Two or three JESUSES and LET-ME-DIES, Two or three squeezes, or two or three towzes, (With two or three thousand pound lost at their houses)
Can never fail cuckolding two or three spouses.
IN A MAID OF HONOUR'S PRAYER BOOK.
WHEN Israel's daughters mourn'd their past offences, They dealt in sackcloth, and turn'd cinder-wenches: But Richmond's fair ones never spoil their locks; They use white powder, and wear Holland sinocks. O comely church! where females find clean linen As decent to repent in, as to sin in.
THE BALANCE OF EUROPE.
Now Europe's balanc'd, neither side prevails;
A PANEGYRICAL EPISTLE
TO MR. THOMAS SNOW,
GOLDSMITH, NEAR TEMPLE BAR;
Occasioned by his buying and selling the third South Sea Subscriptions, taken in by the Directors at One Thousand per cent *.
ISDAIN not, SNow, my humble verse to hear,'
Whether thy counter shine with sums untold,
In crowds of brokers over awe the stocks;
The South Sea rocks and shelves, where thousands drown'd!
When credit sunk, and commerce gasping lay,
In the year 1720, the South Sea company, under pretence of paying the publick debt, obtained an act of parliament for enlarging their capital, by taking into it all the debts of the nation, incurred before the year 1716, amounting to 31,664,551. Part of this sum was subscribed into their capital at three subscriptions: the first at 300l. per cent., the second at 400/., and a third at 1000. Such was the infatuation of the time, that these subscriptions were bought and sold at exorbitant premiums; so that 100% South Sea stock, subscribed at 1000l. was sold for 1200/ in Exchange alley', H,
When not a guinea chink'd on Martin's boards,
Why did 'Change alley waste thy precious hours
No wonder, they were caught by South Sea schemes,
No wonder that their fancies wild can frame
Let vulture Hopkins stretch his rusty throat,
I know thou scorn'st his mean, his sordid mind;
Yet be diverted by this moral tale.
Through fam'd Moorfields extends a spacious seat, Where mortals of exalted wit retreat;
Where, wrapt in contemplation and in straw,
Names of eminent goldsmiths. H.
As on a time he pass'd the vacant hours In raising piles of straw and twisted bow'rs, A poet enter'd, of the neighbouring cell, And with fix'd eye observ'd the structure well: A sharpen'd skew'r 'cross his bare shoulders bound A tatter'd rug, which dragg'd upon the ground. The banker cried, " Behold my castle walls, My statues, gardens, fountains, and canals, With land of more than twenty acres round! All these I sell thee for ten thousand pound." The bard with wonder the cheap purchase saw, So sign'd the contract (as ordains the law.) The banker's brain was cool'd: the mist grew clear; The visionary scene was lost in air.
He now the vanish'd prospect understood, And fear'd the fancied bargain was not good: Yet loth the sum entire should be destroy'd, "Give me a penny, and thy contract's void." The startled bard with eye indignant frown'd: "Shall I, ye gods," he cries, "my debts compound!" So saying, from his rug the skew'r he takes, And on the stick ten equal notches makes; With just resentment flings it on the ground; "There, take my tally of ten thousand pound *.”
Charles II, having borrowed a considerable sum, gave tallies, as a security for the repayment; but, soon after shutting up the Exchequer, these tallies were as much reduced from their original value, as the South Sea had exceeded it. H.