LETTER X. To PHIDIPPUS. HARDLY, I imagine, were you in when you required my thoughts upon friendship: for, to give you the trueft idea of that generous intercourfe, may I not justly refer you back to the fentiments of your own heart? I am sure, at leaft, I have learned to improve my own notions of that refined affection, by those inftances which I have observed in yourself; as it is from thence I have received the clearest conviction, that it derives all its ftrength and stability from virtue and goodfense. THERE is not, perhaps, a quality more uncommon in the world, than that which is neceffary to form a man for this refined commerce: for however fociableness may be esteemed a just characteristic of our species; friendliness, I am perfuaded, will fcarce be found to enter into its general definition. The qualifications requifite to support and conduct friendship in all its ftrength and extent, do not feem to be fufficiently diffused among the human race, to to render them the diftinguishing marks of mankind; unless generofity and good-fenfe should be allowed (what they never can be allowed) univerfally to prevail. On the contrary, how few are in poffeffion of those most amiable of endowments? how few are capable of that noble elevation of mind, which raises a man above those little jealoufies and rivalships that fhoot up in the paths of common amities? WE fhould not, indeed, fo often hear complaints of the inconftancy and falseness of friends, if the world in general were more cautious than they ufually are, in forming connections of this kind. But the misfortune is, our friendships are apt to be too forward, and thus either fall off in the bloffom, or never arrive at just maturity. It is an excellent piece of advice therefore, that the poet Martial gives upon this occafion : Tu tantum infpice qui novus paratur, WERE I to make trial of any perfon's qualifications for an union of fo much delicacy, there is no part of his conduct I would would fooner fingle out, than to observe him in his refentments. And this, not upon the maxim frequently advanced, "that the best friends make the bittereft "enemies;" but, on the contrary, because I am perfuaded, that he who is capable of being a bitter enemy, can never poffefs the neceffary virtues that conftitute a true friend. For muft he not want generofity (that most effential principle of an amicable combination) who can be fo mean as to indulge a spirit of fettled revenge, and coolly triumph in the oppreffion of an adverfary? Accordingly, there is no circumftance in the character of the excellent Agricola, that gives me a higher notion of the true heroifm of his mind, than what the hiftorian of his life mentions concerning his conduct in this particular inftance. Ex Iracundia (fays Tacitus) nihil fupererat: Secretum et filentium ejus non timeres. His elevated fpirit was too great to fuffer his refentment to survive the occafion of it; and those who provoked his indignation had nothing to apprehend from the fecret and filent workings of unextinguished malice. But the practice, it must be owned (per haps haps I might have faid, the principle too) of the world runs ftrongly on the fide of the contrary difpofition: and thus, in oppofition to that generous fentiment of your admired orator, which I have so often heard you quote with applause, our friendships are mortal, whilft it is our enmities only that never die. BUT though judgment muft collect the materials of this goodly ftructure, it is affection that gives the cement; and paffion, as well as reafon, fhould concur in forming a firm and lafting coalition. Hence, perhaps, it is, that not only the most powerful but the most lafting friendthips, are usually the produce of the early feafon of our lives, when we are most fufceptible of the warm and affectionate impreffions. The connections, into which we enter in any afterperiod, decrease in ftrength as our paffions abate in heat; and there is not, I believe, a single instance of a vigorous friendship that ever ftruck root in a bofom chilled by years. How irretrievable then is the lofs of those beft and faireft acquifitions of our youth? Seneca, taking notice of Auguftus Cæfar's lamenting, upon a certain occafion, the the death of Mecenas and Agrippa, observes, that he, who could instantly repair the deftruction of whole fleets and armies, and bid Rome, after a general conflagration, rife out of her afhes even with more luftre than before; was yet unable, during a whole life, to fill up those lasting vacancies in his friendship: A reflection, which reminds me of renewing my folicitations, that you would be more cautious in hazarding a life which I have so many reasons to love and honor. For whenever an accident of the fame kind fhall separate (and what other accident can feparate) the happy union which has fo long subsisted between us; where fhall I retrieve fo fevere a lofs? I am utterly indisposed to enter into new habitudes, and extend the little circle of my friendships: happy if I may but preserve it firm and unbroken to the clofing moment of my life! Adieu. LETTER |