"Her angry husband, vex'd through half his years 66 By loss and troubles, fill'd her soul with fears: “Their children many, and 't was my poor place "To nurse and wait on all the infant-race; "Labour and hunger were indeed my part, "And should have strengthen'd an erroneous heart. "Sore was the grief to see him angry come, "And teased with business, make distress at home: "The father's fury and the children's cries "I soon could bear, but not my mother's sighs; "For she look'd back on comforts, and would say, "I wrong'd thee, Ellen,' and then turn away: "Thus, for my age's good, my youth was tried, "And this my fortune till my mother died. "So, amid sorrow much and little cheer"A common case. I pass'd my twentieth year; "For these are frequent evils; thousands share "An equal grief — the like domestic care. "Then in my days of bloom, of health and youth, "One, much above me, vow'd his love and truth : "We often met, he dreading to be seen, [mean ; "And much I question'd what such dread might "Yet I believed him true; my simple heart "And undirected reason took his part. "Can he who loves me, whom I love, deceive? "Can I such wrong of one so kind believe, "Who lives but in my smile, who trembles when I grieve? "He dared not marry, but we met to prove "What sad encroachments and deceits has love: "Weak that I was, when he, rebuked, withdrew, "I let him see that I was wretched too; "When less my caution, I had still the pain "Of his or mine own weakness to complain. Happy the lovers class'd alike in life, "Or happier yet the rich endowing wife; "You judge th' event; for grievous was my fate, "Painful to feel, and shameful to relate: "Ah! sad it was my burthen to sustain, "Hard! with these fears and terrors to behold "The cause of all, the faithless lover, cold; Impatient grown at every wish denied, "And barely civil, soothed and gratified; "Peevish when urged to think of vows so strong, "And angry when I spake of crime and wrong. "All this I felt, and still the sorrow grew, "Because I felt that I deserved it too, "And begg'd my infant stranger to forgive "The mother's shame, which in herself must live. "When known that shame, I, soon expell'd from home, "With a frail sister shared a hovel's gloom; "There barely fed-(what could I more request?) "My infant slumberer sleeping at my breast, "I from my window saw his blooming bride, "And my seducer smiling at her side; "Hope lived till then ;. I sank upon the floor, "And grief and thought and feeling were no more: "Although revived, I judged that life would close, "And went to rest, to wonder that I rose: My dreams were dismal, — wheresoe'er I stray'd, "I seem'd ashamed, alarm'd, despised, betray'd; 66 Always in grief, in guilt, disgraced, forlorn, Mourning that one so weak, so vile, was born; "The earth a desert, tumult in the sea, "The birds affrighten'd fled from tree to tree, "Obscured the setting sun, and every thing like me. "But Heav'n had mercy, and my need at length "Urged me to labour, and renew'd my strength. "I strove for patience as a sinner must, "Yet felt th' opinion of the world unjust: "There was my lover, in his joy esteem'd, "And I, in my distress, as guilty deem'd; "Yet sure, not all the guilt and shame belong "To her who feels and suffers for the wrong: "The cheat at play may use the wealth he's won, "But is not honour'd for the mischief done; "The cheat in love may use each villain àrt, "And boast the deed that breaks the victim's heart. "Four years were past; I might again have found "Some erring wish, but for another wound: Lovely my daughter grew, her face was fair, "But no expression ever brighten'd there; "I doubted long, and vainly strove to make "Some certain meaning of the words she spake; "But meaning there was none, and I survey'd "With dread the beauties of my idiot-maid. "Still I submitted; - Oh! 't is meet and fit "In all we feel to make the heart submit ; Gloomy and calm my days, but I had then, "It seem'd, attractions for the eyes of men: "The sober master of a decent trade "O'erlook'd my errors, and his offer made; "Reason assented: true, my heart denied, "But thou,' I said, 'shalt be no more my guide. "When wed, our toil and trouble, pains and care, "Of means to live procured us humble share; "Five were our sons, -and we, though careful found "Our hopes declining as the year came round: "That still the more we pay, our debts the more remain : 66 "That he who feels not the mysterious call, “Lies bound in sin, still grov'ling from the fall. My husband felt not:-our persuasion, prayer, "And our best reason, darken'd his despair; "His very nature changed; he now reviled "My former conduct, he reproach'd my child: "He talked of bastard slips, and cursed his bed, "And from our kindness to concealment fled; "For ever to some evil change inclined, "To every gloomy thought he lent his mind, "Nor rest would give to us, nor rest himself could find; -- "His son suspended saw him, long bereft "Of life, nor prospect of revival left. "With him died all our prospects, and once more “ I shared th' allotments of the parish poor; 66 They took my children too, and this I know, "Was just and lawful, but I felt the blow: My idiot-maid and one unhealthy boy "Were left, a mother's misery and her joy. Three sons I follow'd to the grave, and one “Oh! can I speak of that unhappy son? "Would all the memory of that time were fled, "And all those horrors, with my child, were dead! "Before the world seduced him, what a grace "And smile of gladness shone upon his face! "Then, he had knowledge; finely would he write; 66 Study to him was pleasure and delight; |