Though writers, for more stately tone,
Do call him Ralpho, 'tis all one:
And when we can with metre safe,
We'll call him so; if not, plain Ralph;
(For rhyme the rudder is of verses,
With which, like ships, they steer their courses,)
An equal stock of wit and valour,
He had laid in, by birth a taylor.
The mighty Tyrian Queen, that gain'd,
With subtle shreds a track of land,
Did leave it with a castle fair,
To his great ancestor, her heir
From him descended cross legg'd knights,
Fam'd for their faith, and warlike fights
Against the bloody canibal,
Whom they destroy'd, both great and small.
This sturdy Squire, he had, as well
As the bold Trojan knight, seen hell,
Not with a counterfeited pass
Of golden bough, but true gold-lace.
His knowledge was not far behind
The Knight's, but one of another kind,
And he another way came by't:
Some call it gifts, and some new light:
A lib'ral art, that costs no pains
Of study, industry, or brains.
His wit was sent him for a token,
But in the carriage crack'd and broken.
Like commendation ninepence crook'd
With-To and from my love-it look'd
He ne'er consider'd it, as loath
To look a gift-horse in the mouth;
And very wisely would lay forth
No more upon it than 'twas worth
But as he got it freely, so
He spent it frank and freely too,
For saints themselves will sometimes be.
Of gifts that cost them nothing, free.
By means of this, with hem and cough,
Prolongers to enlighten'd stuff,
He could deep mysteries unriddle,
As easily as thread a needle.
For mystic learning, wondrous able
In magic talisman and cabal,
Whose primitive tradition reaches
As far as Adam's first green breeches;
Deep-sighted in intelligences,
Ideas, atoms, influences;
And much of terra incognita,
Th' intelligible world, could say;
A deep occult philosopher,
As learn'd as the wild Irish are,
Or Sir Agrippa, for profound
And solid lying much renown'd:
He Anthroposophus and Floud,
And Jacob Behmen understood;
Knew many an amulet and charm,
That would do neither good nor harnı;
In Rosy crucian lore as learned,
As he that vere adeptus earned.
He understood the speech of birds,
As well as they themselves do words;
Could tell what subtlest parrots mean,
That think and speak contrary clean.
He could foretell whats'ever was
By consequence to come to pass;
As death of great men, alterations,
Diseases, battles, inundations.
All this without th' eclipse o' th' sun,
Or dreadful comet, he hath done,
By inward light, a way as good,
And easy to be understood;
But with more lucky hit than those
That use to make the stars depose,
Like Knights o' th' post, and falsely charge
Upon themselves what others forge;
As if they were consenting to
All mischiefs in the world men do;
Or, like the devil, did tempt and sway 'em
To rogueries, and then betray
They'll search a planet's house, to know
Who broke and robb'd a house below;
Examine Venus and the moon,
Who stole a thimble or a spoon :
And though they nothing will confess,
Yet by their very looks can guess,
And tell what guilty aspect bodes,
Who stole, and who receiv'd the goods.
They'll question Mars, and, by his look,
Detect who 'twas that nimm'd a cloak:
Make Mercury confess, and 'peach
Those thieves which he himself did teach.
They'll find i' th' physiognomies
O' th' planets all mens' destinies;
Like him that took the doctor's bill,
And swallow'd it instead of th' pill;
Cast the nativity o' th' question,
And from positions to be guess'd on,
As sure as if they knew the moment
Of native's birth, tell what will come on't.
They'll feel the pulses of the stars,
To find out agues, coughs, catarrhs;
And tell what crisis does divine
The rot in sheep, or mange in swine;
What gains or loses, hangs or saves;
What makes men great, what fools or knaves;
But not what wise; for only of those
The stars, they say, cannot dispose,
No more than can the astrologians,
There they say right, and like true Trojans.
Thus was th' accomplish'd Squire endu'd
With gifts and knowledge, perilous shrewd.
Never did trusty squire with knight,
Or knight with squire, e'er jump more right.
Their arms and equipage did fit,
As well as virtues, parts, and wit.
The itch of picture in the front,
With bays and wicked rhyme upon't,
All that is left o' th' forked hill,
To make men scribble without skill;
Can'st make a poet spite of fate,
And teach all people to translate,
Though out of languages in which
They understand no part of speech:
Assist me but this once, I 'mplore,
And I shall trouble thee no more.
In western clime there is a town,
To those that dwell therein well known;
Therefore there needs no more be said here,
We unto them refer our reader;
For brevity is very good
When w' are, or are not understood.
To this town people did repair
On days of market, or of fair ;
And to crack'd fiddle, and hoarse tabor
In merriment did drudge and labour;
But now a sport more formidable
Had rak'd together village-rabble;
'Twas an old way of recreating,
Which learned butchers call Bear-baiting.
A bold advent'rous exercise,
With antient heroes in high prize :
For authors do affirm it came
From Isthmiam or Nemæan game:
Others derive it from the Bear
That's fix'd in northern hemisphere,
And round about the pole does make
A circle like a bear at stake,
That at the chain's end wheels about,
And overturns the rabble-rout.
For after solemn proclamation
In the bear's name, (as is the fashion,
According to the law of arms,
To keep men from inglorious harins,)
That none presume to come so near,
As forty foot of stake of bear;
If any yet be so fool-hardy
T'expose themselves to vain jeopardy,
If they come wounded off, and lame,
No honour's got by such a maim;
Although the bear gain much, b'ing bound
In honour to make good his ground,
When he's engag'd, and take no notice,
If any press upon him, who 'tis ;
But lets them know, at their own cost,
That he intends to keep his post,
This to prevent, and other harms,
Which always wait on feats of arms,
(For in the hurry of a fray,
'Tis hard to keep out of harm's way,)
Thither the Knight his course did steer,
To keep the peace 'twixt dog and bear;
As he believ'd h' was bound to do
In conscience and commission too;
And therefore thus bespoke the Squire :
We that are wisely mounted higher
Than constables in curule wit,
When on tribunal bench we sit,
Like speculators should foresee,
From Pharos of authority.
Portended mischiefs farther than
Low Protelarian tything-men.
And therefore being inform'd by bruit,
That dog and bear had to dispute;
For so of late men fighting name,
Because they often prove the same;
(For where the first does hap to be,
The last does coincidere;)
Quantum in nobis, have thought good,
To save th' expense of Christian blood,
And try if we, by mediation
Of treaty and accommodation,
Can end the quarrel, and compose
The bloody duel without blows.
Are not our liberties, our lives,
The laws, religion, and our wives,
Enough at once to lie at stake,
For cov'nant and the cause's sake?
But in that quarrel dogs and bears,
As well as we, must venture theirs?
This feud by Jesuits invented,
By evil counsel is fomented;
There is a Machiavillian plot,
(Though ev'ry nare olfact is not.)
A deep design in't to divide
The well affected that confide,
By setting brother against brother,
To claw and curry one another.
Have we not enemies plus satis,
That cane et angue pejus hate us?
And shall we turn our fangs and claws
Upon our ownselves without cause?
That some occult design doth lye
In bloody cynarctomachy,
Is plain enough to him that knows,
How saints lead brothers by the nose.
I wish myself a pseudo-prophet,
But sure some ischief will come of it;
Unless by providential wit,
Or force, we averruncate it.
For what design, what interest
Can beast have to encounter beast?
They fight for no espoused cause,
Frail privilege, fundamental laws,
Nor for a thorough reformation,
Nor covenant, nor protestation,
Nor liberty of consciences,
Nor Lords nor Commons ordinances;
Nor for the church, nor for church-lands,
To get them in their own nc bands;
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