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O! would the Sons of Men once think their Eyes
And Reason giv'n them but to ftudy Flies!
See Nature in fomne partial narrow shape,
And let the Author of the whole efcape;
Learn but to trifle; or, who moft obferve,
To wonder at their Maker, not to ferve.

Be that my talk (replies a gloomy Clerk,
Sworn foe to Mystery, yet divinely dark;
Whole pious hope afpires to fee the day
When Moral Evidence hall quite decay,
And damns implicit faith, and holy lies,
Prompt to impofe, and fond to dogmatize :)
Let others creep by tind steps and flow,
On plain Experience Jay foundations low,
By common fenfe to common knowledge bred,
And laft, to Nature's Caufe through Nature led.
All-feeing in thy mifts, we want no guide,
Mother of Arrogance, and Source of Pride!
We nobly take the high Priori Road,

And reafon downward, till we doubt of God:
Make Nature ftil! incroach upon his plan;
And thove him off as far as e'er we can:
Thruft fome Mechanic Caufe into his place;
Or bind in Matter, or diffufe in Space.
Or, at one bound o'erleaping all his laws,
Mike God Man's Image, Man the final Cause,
Find Virtue local, all Relation fcorn,
See all in Self, and but for Self be born:
Of nought fo certain as our Reafon still,
Of nought fo doubtful as of Soul and Will.
Oh hide the God ftill more! and make us fee
Such as Lucretius drew, a God like Thee:
Wrapt up in Self, a God without a Thought,
Regardless of our merit or default.

Or that bright Image to our fancy draw,
Which Theocles in raptur'd vifion faw,

Wild through Poetic fcenes the GENIUS roves,
Or wanders wild in Academic Groves;

That NATURE Our Society adores,
Where Tindal dictates, and Silenus fuores.,


Rous'd at his name, up rofe the bowzy Sire,
And fhook from out his Pipe the feeds of fire;
Then fnap'd his box, and ftrok'd his belly down, 49
Rofy and reverend, though without a Gown,
Bland and familiar to the throne he came,
Led up the Youth, and call'd the Goddess Dame,
From Prieftcraft happily fet free,
460 Lo! every finish'd Son returns to thee:
First flave to Words, then vaffal to a Name,
Then dupe to Party; child and man the fame;
Bounded by Nature, narrow'd still by Art,
A trifling head, and a contracted heart.

Then thus.


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465 Thus bred, thus taught, how many have I feen, 505.
Smiling on all, and fmil'd on by a Queen!
Mark'd out for Honours, honour'd for their Birth,
To thee the most rebellious things on earth;
Now to thy gentle thadow alt are shrunk,
All melted down in Penfion, or in Punk!
So K *, fo B **, fneak'd into the grave,
A Monarch's half, and half a Harlot's flave.
Poor W *. * , niptin Folly's broadest bloom,
Who praifes now? his Chaplain on his Tomb,-


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ten, you might as foon have found a Wolf in Eng◄ land as an Atheist? The truth is, the whole,fpecies. was exterminated. There is a trifling difference indeed concerning the Author of the Atchievement. Some, as Dr. Afhenhurst, gave it to Bentley's Boylean Lectures. And he fo well convinced that great 485 Man of the truth, that wherever afterwards he found Atheist, he always read it A Theift. But, in fpite of a claim fo well made out, others gave the honour of this exploit to a latter Boylean Lecturer. A judicious Apologift for Dr. Clarke, against Mr. Whit ton, fays, with no less elegance than pofitiveness of Expreffion, It is a moft certain truth that the Demonftration of the being and attributes of God, has extirpated and banished Atheism out of the Chriftian world, p. 18. It is much to be lamented, that the* clearest truths have till their dark fide. Here we


hope of a poffibility to fly to the Moon; which has put fome volatile Geniufes upon making wings for that purpofe.

fee it becomes a doubt which of the two Herculefes was the monster-queller. But what of that? Since the thing is done, and the proof of it fo certain, there no occafion for fo nice a canvaffing of circumftances.


Ibid. Silenus] Silenus was an Epicurean Philofopher, as appears from Virgil, Eclog. vi. where he fings the principles of that philofophy in his drink.

Ver. 462. When Moral Evidence shall quite de-is cay, Alluding to a ridiculous and abfurd way of fome Mathematicians, in calculating the gradual deCay of Moral Evidence by mathematical proportions: according to which calculation, in about fifty years it will be no longer probable that Julius Cæfar was in Gaul, or died in the Senate Houfe. See Craig's Theologiæ Chriftianæ Principia Mathematica. But as it feems evident, that facts of a thousand years old, for instance, are now as probable, as they were five hundred years ago; it is plain, that if in fifty more they quite difappear, it must be owing, not to their Arguments, but to the extraordinary power of our Goddess; for whofe help therefore they have

reafon to pray.

Ver. 492. Where Tindal dictates and Silenus fnores.] It cannot be denied but that thir fine roke of fatire against Atheism was well intended. But how muft the Reader fmile at our Author's officious zeal, when he is told, that at the time this was writ

Ver. 501. First flave to words, &c.] A Recapitulation of the whole Courfe of modern Education defcribed in this book, which confines Youth to the ftudy of Words only in Schools; fubjects them to the authority of Syftems in the Univeruities; and deludes them with the names of Party distinctious in the world. All equally concurring to narrow the Understanding, and establish Slavery and Error in Literature, Philofophy, and Politics. The whole. finished in modern Free-thinking: the completion of whatever is vain, wrong, and deftructive to the happiness of mankind; as it establishes Self-love for the fole Principle of Action.

Ver. 596. fmil'd on by a Queen!] i. e. This Queen or Goddess of Dulness, 30

Then take them all, oh take them to thy breaft! 551 And ftrait fucceeded, leaving fhame no room,
Thy Magus, Goddefs! fhall perform the rest.

With that, a WIZARD OLD his Cup extends;
Which whofo taftes, forgets his former friends,
Sire, Ancestors, Himfelf. One cafts his eyes
Up to a Star, and like Endymion dies;
A Feather, shooting from another's head,
Extracts his brain; and Principle is fied;
Loft is his God, his Country, every thing;
And nothing left but Homage to a King!
The vulgar herd turn off to roll with Hogs,
To run with Horfes, or to hunt with Dogs;
But, fad example! never to efcape
Their Infamy, ftill keep the human shape.
But the, good Goddess, fent to every child
Firm Impudence, or Stupefaction mild;



Cibberian forehead, or Cimmerian gloom.
Kind Self-conceit to fome her glass applies,
Which no one looks in with another's eyes;
But, as the Flatterer or Dependant paint,
520 Beholds himself a Patriot, Chief, or Saint.
On others Interest her gay livery flings,
Intereft, that waves on Party-colour'd wings:
Turn'd to the Sun, the cafts a thousand dyes,
And, as the turns, the colours fall or rife.
Others the Syrens Sitters warble round,
And empty heads confole with empty found.
No more, alas! the voice of Fame they hear,
The balm of Dulness trickling in their ear.
Great C*, H * *, P ↑ ˇ, R * *, K *, 545
Why all your Toils? your Sons have learn'd to fing.
How quick Ambition haftes to ridicule !
The Sire is made a Peer, the Son a Fool.


Ver. 517. With that a Wizard old, &c.] Here beginneth the celebration of the GREATER MYSTERIES of the Goddefs, which the Poet, in his Invocation, ver. 5. promised to fing.

Ver. 518. forgets his former Friends,] Surely there little needed the force of charms or magic to fet afide an ufclefs Friendship. For of all the accommodations of fashionable life, as there are none more reputable, fo there are none of fo little charge as friendhip. It fills up the void of life with a name of dignity and respect; and at the fame time is ready to give place to every paffion that offers to difpute pofeffion with it.

On fome, a Prieft fuccinct in amice white
Attends ; all flesh is nothing in his fight!
Beeves, at his touch, at once to jelly turn,
And the huge Boar is fhrunk into an Urn:
The board with fpecious miracles he loads,
Turns Hares to Larks, and Pigeons into Toads.
Another (for in all what one can fhine?)
Explains the Seve and Verdure of the Vine.





they become eafy under any infamy. Each of which fpecies is here fhadowed under Allegorical perfons. SCRIBL. Ver. 532. Cibberian forehead, or Cimmerian Ver. $23, 524. Loft is his God, his Country-gloom.] i. e. She communicates to them of her own And nothing left but Homage to a King!] So ftrange Virtue, or of her Royal Colleagues. The Cibberian as this must seem to a mere English reader, the fa- forehead being to fit them for Self-conceit, Self-inmous Monf. de la Bruyere declares it to be the cha- tereft, &c. and the Cimmerian gloom, for the Plearacter of every good fubject in a Monarchy: "Where fures of Opera, and the Table. (fays he) there is no fuch thing as love of our SCRIBL. Country, the Intereft, the Glory, and Service of the Prince fupply its place." De la Republique, chap. x.

Of this duty another celebrated French Author peaks indeed a little more difrefpectfully; which for that reason, we shall not tranflate, but give it in his own words, "L'Amour de la Patrie, le grand motif *des prémiers Heros, n'eft plus regardé que comme << une Chimêre; l'idée du Service du Roi, etendüe jufqu'à l'oubli de tout autre Principe, teint lieu de ce qu'on appelloit autre fois Grandeur d'Ame et Fidelité." Foulainvilliers Hift. des Anciens Parlements de France, &c.

Ver. 528. still keep the human shape.] The effects of the Magus's Cup, by which is allegorized a Botal corruption of heart, are just contrary to that of Circe, which only reprefents the fudden plunging into pleasures. Her's therefore, took away the shape, and left the human mind; his takes away the mind, and leaves the human shape.

Ver. 529. But the, good Goddess, &c.] The only comfort people can receive, must be owing in fome hape or other to Dulnefs; which makes fome ftupid, others impudent, gives Self-conceit to fome, apon the Flatteries of their dependants, prefents the falfe colours of Interest to others, and bufies or amufes the reft with idle Pleasures or Senfuality, till

loads, &c.] Scriblerus feems at a lofs in this place. Ver. 553. The board with fpecious Miracles he Speciofa miracula (fays he), according to Horace, were the monftrous fables of the Cyclops, Læftrygons, Scylla, &c. What relation have these to the Transformation of Hares into Larks, or of Pigeons into Toads? I fhall tell thee. The Læftiygons spitted Men upon Spears, as we do Larks upon Skewers; and the fair Pigeon turned to a Toad, is fimilar to the fair Virgin Scylla ending in a filthy beaft. But here is the difficulty, why Pigeons in fo flocking a shape should be brought to a Table. Hares indeed might be out into Larks at a fecond dreffing, when we confider the extravagance before mentioned, out of frugality: Yet that feems no probable motive, of diffolving whole Oxen and Boars into a (mall vial of Jelly; nay it is exprefsly faid, that all flesh is nothing in his fight. I have fearched in Apicius, Pliny, and the Feast of Trimalchio, in vain; I can only refolve it into fome myfterious fuperftitious after called a Sacrifice, attended (as all ancient faRite, as it is faid to be done by a Prieft, and foen crifices wore) with Libation and Song.

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dern Luxury, was ignorant that these were only the This good Scholiaft, not being acquainied with mo miracles of French Cookery, and that particularly "Pigeons en crapeau" were a common dish.

Ver. 556. Seve and Verdeur] French Terms re


What cannot copious Sacrifice atone?
Thy Treufles, Perigord! thy Hams, Bayonne?
With French Libation, and Italian Strain,
Wash Bladen white, and expiate Hays's stain.
KNIGHT lifts the head: for what are crowds undone,
To three effential Partridges in one?
Gone every blush, and filent all reproach,
Contending Princes mount them in their Coach,
Next, bidding all draw near on bended knees, 565
The Queen confers her Titles and Degrees.
Her children first of more diftinguish'd fort,
Who ftudy Shakespeare at the Inns of Court,


Impale a Glow-worm, or Vertù profefs,
Shine in the dignity of F. R. S.
Some, deep Free-mafons, join the filent race
Worthy to fill Pythagoras's place:
Some Botanists, or Florists at the least,
Or iffue Members of an Annual feast.
Nor past the meanest unregarded, one
Rofe a Gregorian, one a Gormogon,
The laft, not leaft in honour or applaufe,
Ifis and Cam made DOCTORS of her Laws.
Then bleifing all, Go, Children of my care!
To Practice now from Theory repair.
All my commands are easy, short, and full:
My Sons be proud, be felfifh, and be dull.
Guard my Prerogative, affert my Throne:

lating to Wines, which fignify their flavour and This Nod confirms each Privilege your own. poignancy.

"Et je gagerois que chez le Commandeur "Villandri priferoit sa Seve et sa Verdeur."


St. Evremont has a very pathetic Letter to a Nobleman in difgrace, advifing him to feek comfort in a good Table, and particularly to be attentive to thefe Qualities in his Champaigne.





man of the laft Edition," which we hereby declare
concern not his birth, but his adoption only: and
mean no more than that he is become a Gentleman
of the laft Edition of the Dunciad. Since Gentle-
men, then, are fo captious, we think it proper to
declare that Mr. Thomas Thinble, who is here faid
to be Mr. Thomas Edwards's Ancestor, is only re-

Ver. 560. Bladen-Hays] Names of Gamefters.lated to him by the Mufe's fide.
Bladen is a black man. ROBERT KNIGHT,
Cafhier of the South Sea Company, who fled from
England in 1720 (afterwards pardoned in 1742).
Thefe lived with the utmost magnificence at Paris,
and kept open Tables frequented by perfons of the
first quality of England, and even by Princes of the
Blood of France.

This Tribe of Men, which Scriblerus has here so well exemplified, our Poet hath elsewhere admirably characterized in that happy line,


Ibid. Bladen, &c.] The former Note of Bladen " is a black man," is very abfurd. The Manufcript here is partly obliterated, and doubtlefs could only have been, Wash Blackmoors white, alluding to a known Proverb. SCRIBL.

Ver. 567. Her children firft of more diftinguish'd

Who ftudy Shakespeare at the Inns of

I would that Scholiaft difcharge his duty, who
fhould neglect to honour those whom DULNESS has
diftinguished; or fuffer them to lie forgotton, when
their rare modefty would have left them namelefs.
Let us not, therefore, overlook the Services which
have been done her Caufe, by one Mr. THOMAS
EDWARDS, a Gentleman, as he is pleafed to call
himself, of Lincoln's Inn; but, in reality, a Gentle
man only of the Dunciad; or, to speak him better,
in the plain language of our honeft Ancestors to fuch
Mushrooms, a Gendeman of the laft Edition: who,
nobly eluding the folicitude of his careful Father,
very early retained himself in the cause of Dulness
against Shakespeare, and with the wit and learning
of his Ancestor Tom Thimble in the Rehearsal, and
with the air of good nature and politenefs of Caliban
in the Tempeft, hath now happily finished the Dunce's
progrefs, in perfonal abufe. For a Libeller is no-
thing but a Grubstreet Critic run to Seed.

"A brain of Feathers, and a heart of Lead."

For the fatire extends much farther than to the perfon who occafioned it, and takes in the whole fpecies of those on whom a good Education (to fit them for fome useful and learned profeffion) has been bestowed in vain. That worthless Band

"Of ever-liftlefs Loiterers, that attend

"No caufe, no truft, no duty, and no friend;"

Who, with an understanding too diffipated and futile for the offices of civil life; and a heart too lumpish, narrow, and contracted for those of social, become fit for nothing: and fo turr. Wits and Critics, where fenfe and civility are neither required nor expected.

Ver. 571. Some, deep Free-Mafons, join the filent race] The Poet all along expreffes a very particular concern for this filent Race: He has here pro vided, that in cafe they will not waken or open (as was before proposed) to a Humming-Bird or a Cockle, yet at worft they may be made Free-Mafons; where Taciturnity is the only effential Qualification, as it was the chief of the difciples of Pythagoras.

Ver. 576. A Gregorian, one a Gormogon.] A fort of Laybrothers, Slips from the Root of the FreeMafons.

Ver, 584. each Privilege your own, &c.] This fpeech of Dulnefs to her Sons at parting may poffibly fall fort of the Reader's expectation; who may imagine the Goddel's might give them a Charge of more Lamentable is the Dulness of thefe Gentlemen of confequence, and, from fuch a Theory as is before the Dunciad. This Fungofo and his friends, who delivered, incite them to the practice of fomething are all Gentlemen, have exclaimed much against us more extraordinary, than to perfonate Running Foot for reflecting his birth, in the words, a Gentlemen, Jockeys, Stage Conchmen, &e.


Churches and Chapels inftan ly it reach'd:
(St. James's firit, for leaden G preach'd)
Then catch'd the Schools; the Hall fearce kept

The Convocation gap'd, but could not speak: 610
590 Loft was the Nation's Senfe, nor could be found,
While the long folemn Unifon went round :
Wide, and more wide, it spread o'er all the realm;
Ev'n Palinurus nodded at the Helm:
The Vapour mild o'er each Committee crept; 615
595 Unfinish'd Treaties in each Office flept;
And Chieflefs Armies doz'd out the Campaign!
And Navies yawn'd for Orders on the Main.
O Mafe! relate (for you can tell alone,
Wits have fhort Memories, and Dunces none) 620

The Cap and Switch be facred to his Grace;
With Staff and Pumps the Marquis leads the Race;
From Stage to Stage the licens'd Larl may run,
Pair'd with his Fellow-Charioteer the Sun;
The learned Baron Butterflies defign,
Or draw to filk Arachne's fubtile line;
The Judge to dance his brother Sergeant call;
The Senator at Cricket urge the ball;
The Bishop ftow (Pontific Luxury!)
An hundred Souls of Turkeys in a pye;
The sturdy Squire to Gallic mafters ftcop,
And drown his Lands and Manors in a Soupe.
Others import yet nobler arts from France,
Teach Kings to fiddle, and make Senates dance.
Perhaps more high fome daring fon may foar,
Proud to my lift to add one Monarch more:
And, nobly confcious, Princes are but things
Born for firft Miniers, as Slaves for Kings,
Tyrant fupreme! hall three Eftites comniand,


More the had spoke, but yawn'd-All Nature nods:

What Mortal can refift the Yawn of Gods?


But if it be well confidered, that whatever inclination they might have to do mifchief, her fons are generally rendered harmlefs by their Inability; and that it is the common effect of Dulnefs (even in her greatest efforts) to defeat her own defign; the Poet, I am perfuaded, will be justified, and it will be allowed that there worthy perfons, in their feveral ranks, do as much as can be expected from them.


fingular Epitafis of a Poem, to end as thedoes, with a Great Yawn; but we muft confider it s the Yawn of a God, and of powerful effects. It is not out of Nature, most long and grave counfels concluding in this very manner: Nor without Authority, the incomparable Spenfer having ended one of the mot confiderable of his works with a Roar; but then it is the Roar of a Lion, the effects whereof are defcribed as the Catastrophe of the Poem.

Ver. 607. Churches and Chapels, &c.] The Progrefs of this Yawn, is judicious, natural, and worthy to be noted. First it feizeth the Churches and Chapels; then catcheth the Schools, where, though the boys be unwilling to fleep, the Mafters are not: Next Westminster-hall, much more hard indeed to fubdue, and not totally put to filence even by the Goddefs: Then the Convocation, which though extremely de

Commons, juftiy called the Senfe of the Nation, is loft (that is to fay fufpended) during the Yawn; (far be it from our Author to fuggeft it could be lost any longer!) but it fpreadeth at large over all the reft of the Kingdom, to fuch a degree, that Palinurus himfelf (though as incapable of fleeping as Jupiter) yet noddeth for a moment; the effect of which, though ever fo momentary, could not but caufe fome Relaxation, for the time, in all public affairs.

Ver. 585. The Cap and Switch, &c.]} The God-firous to speak, yet cannot: Even the House of defs's political balance of favour, in the diftribution of her rewards, deferves our notice. It confiits in joining with thofe Honours claimed by birth and high place, others more adapted to the genius and talents of the Candidates. And thus her great Forerunner, John of Leyden, King of Munfter, entered on his Government, by making his ancient friend and companion, Knipperdolling, General of his Horfe and Hangman. And had but Fortune feconded his great fchemes of Reformation, it is faid, he would have established his whole Houfeheld on the fame reafonable footing. SCRIBL. Ver. 590. Arachne's fubtile line;] This is one of the most ingenious employments affigned, and therefore recommended only to Peers of Learning. Of weaving Stockings of the Webs of Spiders, fee the Phil. Tranf

Ver. 591. The Judge to dance his brother Sergeant call:] Alluding perhaps to that ancient and folemn Dance, intitled, A call of Sergeants.

Ver. 598. Teach Kings to fiddle,] An ancient amufement of Sovereign Prinses, (viz.) Achilles, Alexander, Nero; though defpifed by Themistocles, who was a Republican-Make Senates dance, either after their Prince, or to Pontoife, or Siberia.

Ver, 606. What Mortal can refift the Yawn of Gods? This verfe is truly Homerical; as is the conclufion of the Action, where the great Mother compofes all, in the fame manner as Minerva at the period of the may indeed feem a very


Ver. 610. The Convocation gap'd, but could not fpeak;] Implying a great defire fo to do, as the learned Scholiaft on the place rightly obferves. Therefore beware, Reader, left thou take this Gape for a Yawn, which is attended with no defire but to go to reit: by no means the difpofition of the Convocation; whofe melancholy cafe in fhort is this: She was, as reported, infected with the general influence of the Goddess; and while he was yawning carelefsly at her cafe, a wanton Courtier took her at advantage, and in the very nick clap'd a Gag into her chops. Well therefore may we know her meaning. by her gaping; and this diftrefsful pofture our poet here defcribes, juft as fhe ftands at this day, a fad example of the effects of Dulness and Malice unchecked, and despised.


Ver. 615-618.] Thefe Verfes were written ma ny years ago, and may be found in the State Poems of that time. So that Scriblerus is mistaken, or whoever elfe have imagined this Poem of a freffer date.

Ver, 620. Wits have fhore Memories,] This feems

Relate, who firft, who last refign'd to reft;"
Whofe Heads fhe partly, whole completely bleft;
What charms could Faction, what Ambition lull,-
The Venal quiet, and entrance the Dull;

Till drown'd was Senfe, and Shame, and Right, and

O fing, and hush the Nations with thy Song!

In vain, in vain, the all-compofing Nour
Refiflefs fils: the Mufe obeys the Power.
She comes! The comes? the fable Throne behold
Of Night Primæval, and of Chaos old!
Before her, Fancy's gilded clouds decay,

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Thy hand, great Anarch? lets the curtain fall; 655
And univerfal Darkness buries All.


the writings of fome even of our most adored authors, in Divinity, Philofophy, Phyfice, Metaphy cs, &c. who are too good indeed to be named in fuch company.

Ibid. The fable Throne behold] The fable Thrones of Night and Chaos, here reprefented as advancing to extinguish the light of the Sciences, in the first place blot out the Colours of Fancy, and damp the fire of Wit, before they proceed to their work.

Ver. 641. Truth to her old cavern fled.] Alluding to the faying of Democritus. That Truth lay at the bottom of a deep well, from whence he hi drawn her: Though Butler fays, He firft put her in, before he drew her out.

Ver. 649. Religion blushing veils her facred fires,] Bluthing as well at the memory of the pift overflow of Dulnefs, when the barbarous learning of fo many ages was wholly employed in corrupting the fimplicity, and defiling the purity of Religion, as at the view of thefe her falfe fupports in the prefent; of which it would be endless to recount the particuIrs. However, amidst the extinction of all other Lights, he is faid only to withdraw hers! as hers alone in its own nature is unextinguishable and eter


But our Poet had yet another reason for putting this Tak upon the Mufe, that, all befides being afleep, the only could relate what paffed. SCRIBL. Ver. 624. The Venal quiet, and, &c.] It were a Problem worthy the folution of Mr. Ralph and his Patron, who had lights that we know nothing of, -Which required the greatest effort of our Goddess's power, to intrance the Dull, or to quiet the Venal. For though the Venal may be more unruly than the Dull, yet, on the other hand, it de- Ver. 650. And unawares Morality expires.] It mands a much greater expence of her Virtue to in-appears from hence that our Poet was of very diftrance than barely to quiet. SCRIEL. fereat fentiments from the Author of the CharacterVer. 629. She comes! fhe comes! &c.] Here iftics, who has written a formal treatise on Virtue. the Mufe, like Jove's Eagle, after a fadden stoop at to prove it not only real but durable, without the ignoble game, foareth again to the fkies. As Pro- fupport of Religion. The word Unawares alludes phecy hath ever been one of the chief provinces of to the confidence of thofe men, who fuppofe that Poefy, our Poet here foretells from what we feel, Morality would flourish best without it, and confewhat we are to fear; and in the ftyle of other pro-quently to the furprize fuch would be in (if any fuch phets, hath ufed the future tenfe for the preterit; fance what he fays fhall be, is already to be feen, in

there are) who indeed love Virtue, and yet do all they can to root out the Religion of their Country.


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