She wept-but wept not long; to arms she flew,
At Honour's call the' avenging sword she drew,
Turn'd all her terrors on the tyrant's head,
And sent him in despair to beg his bread;
Whilst she (may every state in such distress
Dare with such zeal, and meet with such success),
Whilst she (may Gotham, should my abject mind
Choose to enslave rather than free mankind,
Pursue her steps, tear the proud tyrant down,
Nor let me wear if I abuse the crown),
Whilst she (through every age in every land,
Written in gold, let Revolution stand),
Whilst she, secured in liberty and law,
Found what she sought, a saviour in Nassau.
JUST broke from school, pert, impudent, and raw, Expert in Latin, more expert in taw,
His honour posts o'er Italy and France,
Measures St. Peter's dome, and learns to dance. Thence, having quick through various countries
Glean'd all their follies and exposed his own,
He back returns, a thing so strange all o'er
As never ages past produced before:
A monster of such complicated worth
As no one single clime could e'er bring forth;
Half atheist, papist, gamester, bubble, rook,
Half fiddler, coachman, dancer, groom, and cook.
Next, because business is now all the vogue,
And who'd be quite polite must be a rogue,
In parliament he purchases a seat,
To make the' accomplish'd gentleman complete.
There, safe in self-sufficient impudence,
Without experience, honesty, or sense,
Unknowing in her interest, trade, or laws,
He vainly undertakes his country's cause:
Forth from his lips, prepared at all to rail,
Torrents of nonsense burst, like bottled ale,
Though shallow, muddy; brisk, though mighty
[full. Fierce without strength; o'erflowing, though not Now quite a Frenchman in his garb and air, His neck yoked down with bag and solitaire, The liberties of Britain he supports,
And storms at placemen, ministers, and courts;
Now in cropp'd greasy hair, and leather breeches,
He loudly bellows out his patriot speeches;
King, lords, and commons ventures to abuse,
Yet dares to show those ears he ought to lose.
From hence to White's our virtuous Cato flies,
There sits with countenance erect and wise,
And talks of games of whist and pigtail pies;
Plays all the night, nor doubts each law to break,
Himself unknowingly has help'd to make;
Trembling and anxious, stakes his utmost groat,
Peeps o'er his cards, and looks as if he thought:
Parody on these lines of Sir John Denham:
Though deep, yet clear; though gentle, yet not dull,
Strong without rage, without o'erflowing full.
Next morn disowns the losses of the night,
Because the fool would fain be thought a bite.
Devoted thus to politics and cards,
Nor mirth nor wine nor women he regards;
So far is every virtue from his heart
That not a generous vice can claim a part;
Nay, lest one human passion e'er should move
His soul to friendship, tenderness, or love,
To Figg and Broughton* he commits his breast,
To steel it to the fashionable test.
Thus poor in wealth, he labours to no end,
Wretched alone, in crowds without a friend;
Insensible to all that's good or kind,
Deaf to all merit, to all beauty blind;
For love too busy, and for wit too grave,
A harden'd, sober, proud, luxurious knave;
By little actions striving to be great,
And proud to be and to be thought a cheat.
And yet in this so bad is his success,
That as his fame improves, his rents grow less;
On parchment wings his acres take their flight,
And his unpeopled groves admit the light;
With his estate his interest too is done,
His honest borough seeks a warmer sun;
For him now cash and liquor flow no more,
His independent voters cease to roar :
And Britain soon must want the great defence
Of all his honesty and eloquence,
But that the generous youth, more anxious grown For public liberty than for his own,
Marries some jointured antiquated crone;
And boldy, when his country is at stake,
Braves the deep yawning gulf, like Curtius, for
Quickly again distress'd for want of coin,
He digs no longer in the' exhausted mine,
But seeks preferment as the last resort,
Cringes each morn at levees, bows at court,
And, from the hand he hates, implores support:
The minister, well pleased at small expense
To silence so much rude impertinence,
With squeeze and whisper yields to his demands,
And on the venal list enroll'd he stands;
A ribbon and a pension buy the slave,
This bribes the fool about him, that the knave.
And now arrived at his meridian glory,
He sinks apace, despised by Whig and Tory;
Of independence now he talks no more,
Nor shakes the senate with his patriot roar,
But silent votes, and, with court trappings hung,
Eyes his own glittering star, and holds his tongue.
In craft political a bankrupt made,
He sticks to gaming as the surer trade;
Turns downright sharper, lives by sucking blood,
And grows, in short, the very thing he would:
Hunts out young heirs who have their fortunes
And lends them ready cash at cent. per cent.
Lays wagers on his own and others' lives,
Fights uncles, fathers, grandmothers, and wives,
Till death at length, indignant to be made
The daily subject of his sport and trade,
Veils with his sable hand the wretch's eyes,
And, groaning for the bets he loses by't, he dies.
LOVES OF THE TRIANGLES,
A MATHEMATICAL AND PHILOSOPHICAL POEM.
INSCRIBED TO DR. DARWIN.
Warning to the Profane not to approach-Nymphs and Deities of Mathematical Mythology-Cyclois of a pensive turnPendulums, on the contrary, playful-and Why?-Sentimental union of the Naiads and Hydrostatics-Marriage of Euclid and Algebra-Pulley the emblem of MechanicsOptics of a licentious disposition-distinguished by her Telescope and Green Spectacles.-Hyde-park Gate on a Sunday morning-Cockneys-Coaches.-Didactic Poetry-Nonsensia- Love delights in Angles or Corners-Theory of Fluxions explained-Trochais, the Nymph of the WheelSmoke-jack described-Personification of elementary or cnlinary Fire-Little Jack Horner-Story of Cinderella--Rectangle, a Magician, educated by Plato and Menecmus-in love with three Curves at the same time-served by Gins, or Genii-transforms himself into a Cone-The three Curves requite his Passion-description of them-Parabola, Hyperbola, and Ellipsis-Asymptotes-Conjugated Axes-Illustrations-Rewbell, Barras, and Lepeaux-the three virtuous Directors Macbeth and the three Witches-the three Fatesthe three Graces-King Lear and his three Daughters-Derby Diligence-Catherine Wheel.-Catastrophe of Mr. Gingham, with his Wife and three Daughters overturned in a one horse Chaise-Dislocation and Contusion two kindred FiendsMail Coaches-Exhortation to Drivers to be careful-Genius of the Post Office-Invention of Letters-Digamma-Double Letters-remarkable Direction of one-Hippona, the Goddess of Hack-horses-Parameter and Abscissa unite to overpower the Ordinate, who retreats down the Axis Major, and forms himself in a Square-Isosceles, a Giant-Dr. Rhomboides-Fifth Proposition, or Asses' Bridge-Bridge of Lodi -Buonaparte-Raft and Windmills-Exhortation to the recovery of our Freedom-Conclusion.
STAY your rude steps, or e'er your feet invade The Muses' haunts, ye sons of War and Trade!
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