Envy must own, I live among the great,
No pimp of pleasure, and no spy of state,
With eyes that pry not, tongue that ne'er repeats,
Fond to spread friendships, but to cover heats;
To help who want, to forward who excel;
This, all who know me, know; who love me, tell;
And who unknown defame me, let them be

Scriblers or peers, alike are mob to me.
This is my plea, on this I rest my cause-
What saith my counsel, learned in the laws?

F. Your plea is good; but still I say, beware!
Laws are explain'd by men-so have a care.
It stands on record, that in Richard's times
A man was hang'd for very honest rhymes;
Consult the statute, quart. I think, it is,
Edwardi sext. or prim. et quint. Eliz.
See 'Libels, Satires'-here you have it—read.

P. Libels and satires! lawless things indeed!
But grave Epistles, bringing vice to light,
Such as a king might read, a bishop write,
Such as Sir Robert would approve―

F. Indeed?
The case is alter'd-you may then proceed;
In such a cause the plaintiff will be hiss'd,
My lords the judges laugh, and you're dismiss'd.

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SATIRES AND EPISTLES

II.

To Mr. Bethel.

(HORACE, 2 Sat. 2.)

HAT, and how great, the virtue and the art
To live on little with a chearful heart;

(A doctrine sage, but truly none of mine)
Let's talk, my friends, but talk before we dine.
Not when a gilt buffet's reflected pride
Turns you from sound philosophy aside;
Not when from plate to plate your eye-balls roll,
And the brain dances to the mantling bowl.

Hear Bethel's sermon, one not vers'd in

schools,

But strong in sense, and wise without the rules. 10
Go work, hunt, exercise! he thus began,
Then scorn a homely dinner, if you can.
Your wine lock'd up, your butler stroll'd abroad,
Or fish deny'd (the river yet unthaw'd)

If then plain bread and milk will do the feat,
The pleasure lies in you, and not the meat.
Preach as I please, I doubt our curious men
Will chuse a pheasant still before a hen;
Yet hens of Guinea full as good I hold,
Except you eat the feathers green and gold.

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Of carps and mullets why prefer the great,
(Tho' cut in pieces ere my lord can eat)
Yet for small turbots such esteem profess?
Because God made these large, the other less.
Oldfield with more than harpy throat endu'd,

Cries Send me, gods! a whole hog barbecu'd!'
Oh blast it, south-winds! till a stench exhale
Rank as the ripeness of a rabbit's tail.
By what criterion do you eat, d'ye think,
If this is priz'd for sweetness, that for stink?
When the tir'd glutton labours thro' a treat,
He finds no relish in the sweetest meat,
He calls for something bitter, something sour,
And the rich feast concludes extremely poor:
Cheap eggs, and herbs, and olives still we see;
Thus much is left of old simplicity!

The robin-red-breast till of late had rest,
And children sacred held a martin's nest,

Till beccaficos sold so dev'lish dear

To one that was, or would have been, a peer.
Let me extol a cat, on oysters fed,

I'll have a party at the Bedford-head;
Or ev'n to crack live crawfish recommend;
I'd never doubt at court to make a friend.
'Tis yet in vain, I own, to keep a pother
About one vice, and fall into the other:
Between excess and famine lies a mean;
Plain, but not sordid; tho' not splendid, clean.
Avidien, or his wife (no matter which,
For him you'll call a dog, and her a bitch)
Sell their presented partridges, and fruits,
And humbly live on rabbits and on roots:

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One half-pint bottle serves them both to dine,
And is at once their vinegar and wine.

But on some lucky day (as when they found
A lost bank bill, or heard their son was drown'd)
At such a feast, old vinegar to spare,

Is what two souls so gen'rous cannot bear:
Oyl, tho' it stink, they drop by drop impart,
But sowse the cabbage with a bounteous heart.
He knows to live, who keeps the middle state,
And neither leans on this side, nor on that;
Nor stops, for one bad cork, his butler's pay,
Swears, like Albutius, a good cook away;
Nor lets, like Nævius, ev'ry error pass,
The musty wine, foul cloth, or greasy glass.

Now hear what blessings temperance can bring:
(Thus said our friend, and what he said I sing)
First health the stomach cramm'd from ev'ry dish,
A tomb of boil'd and roast, and flesh and fish,
Where bile, and wind, and phlegm, and acid jar,
And all the man is one intestine war,
Remembers oft the school-boy's simple fare,
The temp'rate sleeps, and spirits light as air.
How pale, each worshipful and rev'rend guest
Rise from a clergy, or a city feast!
What life in all that ample body, say?
What heav'nly particle inspires the clay?
The soul subsides, and wickedly inclines.
To seem but mortal, ev'n in sound divines.

On morning wings how active springs the mind
That leaves the load of yesterday behind?
How easy ev'ry labour it pursues?

How coming to the poet ev'ry muse?

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Not but we may exceed, some holy time,
Or tir'd in search of truth, or search of rhyme;
Ill health some just indulgence may engage;
And more the sickness of long life, old age;
For fainting age what cordial drop remains,
If our intemp'rate youth the vessel drains?

Our fathers prais'd rank ven'son. You suppose,
Perhaps, young men! our fathers had no nose.
Not so: a buck was then a week's repast,

And 'twas their point, I ween, to make it last;
More pleas'd to keep it till their friends should come,
Than eat the sweetest by themselves at home.
Why had not I in those good times my birth,
Ere coxcomb-pyes or coxcombs were on earth?
Unworthy he, the voice of Fame to hear,
That sweetest music to an honest ear;
For 'faith, Lord Fanny! you are in the wrong,
The world's good word is better than a song;
Who has not learn'd, fresh sturgeon and ham-pye
Are no rewards for want, and infamy!
When luxury has lick'd up all thy pelf,

.

Curs'd by thy neighbours, thy trustees, thyself,
To friends, to fortune, to mankind a shame,
Think how posterity will treat thy name;
And buy a rope, that future times may tell
Thou hast at least bestow'd one penny well.

'Right,' cries his lordship, for a rogue in need

To have a taste is insolence indeed :

In me 'tis noble, suits my birth and state,
My wealth unwieldy, and my heap too great.'
Then, like the sun, let bounty spread her ray
And shine that superfluity away.

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