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"like vagrants as they were, to the place of their legal "fettlements. By this means, I fhall take care, that my "metropolis tottered not through its own weight;-that the "head be no longer too big for the body;that the ex"treams, now wafted and pin'd in, be restored to their due "fhare of nourishment, and regain, with it, their natural ftrength and beauty:I would effectually provide, That "the meadows and corn-fields, of my dominions, fhould laugh and fing;- that good chear and hofpitality flourish once more; and that fuch weight and influence be put thereby into the hands of the Squirality of my kingdom, "as fhould counterpoife what I perceive my Nobility are "now taking from them.

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"Why are there fo few palaces and gentlemen's feats, he would afk, with fome emotion, as he walked a-cross the room, << throughout fo many delicious provinces in "France? Whence is it that the few remaining Chateaus "amongst them are fo dismantled,-fo unfurnished, and in "fo ruinous and defolate a condition ? Because, Sir, (he would fay) in that kingdom no man has any country-in"tereft to fupport;-the little intereft of any kind, which any man has any where in it, is concentrated in the court, and the looks of the Grand Monarch; by the fun-fhine "of whofe countenance, or the clouds which pass a-crofs it, Frenchman lives or dies."

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But to return to our hero himself, whom we shall next confider and take leave of, as an Author; in which character we cannot help expreffing, on many accounts, a particular approbation of him. The addrefs with which he has introduced an excellent moral fermon, into a work of this nature (by which expedient, it will probably be read by many who would perufe a fermon in no other form) is mafterly.

There prevails, indeed, a certain quaintnefs, and something like an affectation of being immoderately witty, throughout the whole work. But this is perhaps the Author's manner. Be that, however, as it will, it is generally attended with fpirit and humour enough to render it entertaining. Let the reader judge from the following fpecimen of his narrative:

Mrs. Shandy being with child of our hero, and taken fuddenly in labour*, Obadiah, the fervant, was dispatched,

on

*We cannot here forbear making a remark, as ju as it is reproachful to our Author; viz. That he, by no means, difcovers

either

on one of the coach horfes, to fetch Dr. Slop, the manmidwife, who, being already on the way to Shandy-hall, met him not far from the houfe; the circumftances and confequence of which rencounter, between the Doctor and Obadiah, are thus related:

Imagine to yourself a little, squat, uncourtly figure of a Doctor Slop, of about four feet and a half perpendicular height, with a breadth of back, and a fefquipedality of belly, which might have done honour to a Serjeant in the Horfe-Guards.

• Such were the out-lines of Dr. Slop's figure, which,if you have read Hogarth's analyfis of beauty, and if you have not, I wish you would;-you muft know, may as certainly be caracatured, and conveyed to the mind by

three ftrokes as three hundred.

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Imagine fuch a one,-for fuch, I fay, were the out-lines. of Dr. Slop's figure, coming flowly along, foot by foot, waddling thro' the dirt upon the vertebræ of a little diminutive pony,-of a pretty colour;-but of ftrength,

either that regard, in which he is in duty bound to the good lady, his mother, as a fon; or that which he owes the public, as a writer; in leaving the former fo long in the excruciating pains of childbirth, and the latter in doubt, whether she will be delivered or not, before the publication of his two next volumes, this time twelvemonth; or, in truth, whether it may be even then, or not. He may, indeed, affert that he himself is a living witnefs that the whole affair is over and paft; and that his mother is now at her ease, either in this world or the other. But he is not the first perfon whose life and existence have been called in question: and, if ever, as we are informed in hiftory, fuch a man as Mr. Partridge, an almanackmaker and proteftant-aftrologer, could fo far be deceived, as to conceit himself alive, when he was proved to all intents and purposes virtually and actually dead; how do we know whether Mr Triftram Shandy, gentleman, may not conceive he was born and is alive, when in fact he is ftill an embrio, and there is no fuch perfon breathing? Our Author had better not put it to the proof; but get himfelf born as faft as he can. Indeed, confidering the time elapied, the Midwife being come, the Doctor in waiting, and every thing ready, it would have coft him but very little to have pufhed forward the delivery, that the Midwife might have brought it about before the end of the last chapter. A circumftance that would have faved his tender-hearted readers a world of pain, which they must now undergo, in fympathizing with the diftrefs of the poor woman in the fraw; who is there deferted by the ungracious fruit of her fufferings.

alack!

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alack! -scarce able to have made an amble of it, under fuch a fardel, had the roads been in an ambling condition. They were not.Imagine to yourself, Obadiah mounted upon a strong monster of a coach-horse, pricked into a full gallop, and making all practicable speed the adverfe way.

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Pray, Sir, let me intereft you a moment in this de• fcription.

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Had Dr. Slop beheld Obadiah a mile off, pofting in a < narrow lane directly towards him, at that monftrous rate, splashing and plunging like a devil thro' thick and thin, as he approached, would not fuch a phænomenon, with fuch a vortex of mud and water moving along with it, round its axis,--have been a subject of jufter apprehenfion to Dr. C Slop in his fituation, than the worft of Whifton's comets?-To fay nothing of the NUCLEUS; that is, of Obadiah and the coach-horfe.-In my idea, the vortex alone of them was enough to have involved and carried, if not the Doctor, at least the Doctor's pony quite away with it. What then do you think muft the terror and hydrophobia of Dr. Slop have been, when you read, (which you are just going to do) that he was advancing thus warily along towards Shandy-Hall, and had approached to within fixty yards of it, and within five yards of a fudden turn, made by an acute angle of the garden wall,-and in the dirtieft part of a dirty lane,-when Obadiah and his coach-horfe turned the corner, rapid, furious,-pop,-full upon him! -Nothing, I think, in nature, can be fuppofed more terrible, than fuch a rencounter,-fo imprompt! fo ill prepared to stand the shock of it as Dr. Slop was!

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What could Dr. Slop do?-He croffed himself +Pugh!-but the Doctor, Sir, was a Papift.-No matter; he had better have kept hold of the pummel.-He had fo-nay, as it happened, he had better have done nothing at all;-for in croffing himself he let go his whip,and in attempting to fave his whip betwixt his knee and his faddle's skirt, as it flipped, he lost his ftirrup,-in lofing which, he loft his feat ;--and in the multitude of all thefe loffes, (which, by the bye, fhews what little advantage there is in croffing) the unfortunate Doctor loft his pre⚫ fence of mind. So that, without waiting for Obadiah's onfet, he left his pony to its deftiny, tumbling off it diagonally, fomething in the file and manner of a pack of wool, and without any other confequence from the fall, • fave

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'fave that of being left, (as it would have been) with the broadeft part of him funk about twelve inches deep in the 'mire.

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Obadiah pulled off his cap twice to Dr. Slop ;-once 6 as he was falling,-and then again when he faw him feated.-Ill timed complaifance !-had not the fellow better have ftopped his horfe, and got off and helped him ?—— Sir, he did all that his fituation would allow ;-but the momentum of the coach-horse was fo great, that Obadiah could not do it all at once;-he rode in a circle three times round Dr. Slop, before he could fully accomplish it any • how ;—and at the laft, when he did ftop his beast, it was done with fuch an explofion of mud, that Obadiah had better have been a league off. In fhort, never was a Dr. Slop fo beluted, and fo tranfubftantiated, fince that affair < came into fashion.'

On the whole, we will venture to recommend Mr. Tristram Shandy, as a writer infinitely more ingenious and entertaining than any other of the prefent race of novellifts. His characters are ftriking and fingular, his obfervations fhrewd and pertinent; and, making a few exceptions, his humour is easy and genuine.

K-n-k

MONTHLY CATALOGUE. For DECEMBER 1759, continued.

MISCELLANEOUS.

Art. 1. The True Mentor; or an Effay on the Education of young People of Fashion. Tranflated from the French of the Marquis Caraccioli. 12mo. 2s. 6d. Coote.

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S we have mentioned this work on its first publication abroad, appears to no better advantage in its English than in its French dress. It may, neverthelefs, have its ufe, among thofe who can overlook that poverty of ftile, and tritenefs of fentiment, which too much prevail as well in the original as in the tranflation. That our Readers, however, may not complain of our paffing over this performance too flightly, we shall give the Author's reflections on the wafte and value of Time, as not the worft fpecimen of the Author's manner of moralizing, and of the ftile of the Tranflator.

See Review, Vol. XX, p. 554.

Time

Time ought to be held more precious by us than all the gold in the world; and yet we fee it moft fhamefully fquandered, in endeavours to amafs a little dirty pelf. We mult kill time! cry the • children of the world; and, alas! it is time that kills us: for our life is compofed of days, hours, and minutes, every one of which is continually flying away with fome portion of it; infomuch, that the very initant i am now writing is gone beyond all hopes of a return. Therefore one fhould think, that a man of the least reflection, could not hear the clock strike without a fenfible emotion.

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It would be fome excufe if this destroying of time brought any real pleasure with it; but it rather begets an uneafinefs. We gape, we ftretch, we figh, we laugh, we fing, turn a card, fondle a dog, go abroad to fee and to be feen, long for the next hour, and when the next hour comes, are not pleafed with it, because it is prefent; then we return to reft, with an intention of beginning the fame round the following day, and fo on, till the inftant in which we ⚫ cease to live; and then we may ask ourselves, What have I been doing all the time I have been upon earth? My life has neither been of fervice to myself nor others; fo that I might as well have • been born a flock or a stone.

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What pencil can paint! what pen can defcribe to youth, the value of that time which they wafe in the purfuit of trifles, and which of itfelf flies with fuch an amazing rapidity? Young peo⚫ple fondly imagine, that there is no life without the enjoyment of pleafure, when at the fame time it is pleasure that shortens life. How many intances have we of young men of quality, who waited by debauch, fee themselves reduced to broths and jellies at five and twenty? Pleafure is to be found only in the inftant before enjoyment, and not while we are enjoying it; fo that it is impoffibie for us ever to attain to it.'.

K-nk

Art. 2. A new Vocabulary or Grammar of the true Pronunciation of the English, in form of a Dictionary; by which Freigners may at once be infructed to pronounce plainly, and with Eafe, all the difficult Words in that Language; ranged according to the Order of the Parts of Speech, explained in all their different Significations, accented with their proper Accents, and of which the Pronunciation is marked by fimilar Sounds in French; with the neceffary Principles to learn by one's felf, and in a very fhort Time, the English Language. By V. J. Peyton, Author of the true Principles of the English Language. 12mo. 3s. Davey and Law, &c.

Mr. Peyton appears to have taken a great deal of pains to render this work ufeful to foreigners, to which purpofe it feems, indeed, to be extremely well adapted.

R

Art. 3. A plain and eafy Treatife of Vulgar Arithmetic: Containing all the Rules that commonly go under that Title, with the shortest and most exact Methods of working the Examples

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