the divine glory eminently appears. He complains frequently of his pride, vanity, and selfishness; qualities, doubtless, eminently congenial with his unrenewed nature, but which were now evidently most unwelcome intruders, and which it was his constant grief that he could not wholly dislodge. Let those, who would convert his own confession into a proof, "that he was sinful above all men," be reminded, that, if they were to watch the motions of their own hearts with the same unrelenting severity, they might find even greater abominations than any of which he complains, holding hitherto undisturbed empire over their souls; and not, as in him, annoying, yet conquered passions, which the gracious principle would in the end wholly eradicate.

On the 18th of August, he took a very affectionate leave of the family by whom he had been so kindly entertained, and revisited home, where he spent three days; and then 'set out for Andover,' where he had an engagement to preach; and felt some consolation in reflecting that he was going on his Father's and Saviour's business.' The second day he arrived, wet, wearied, and dejected.' Of his per

formances on the following Sabbath he says I had little assistance in preaching, and pleased neither the people nor myself.' He here expresses, not an opinion merely, but a fact. Popular as he deservedly was, his preaching was not regarded with favour by the church in North Andover, which had been left destitute by the death of Dr. Symmes. Whether it were owing to their preference, or his, or to a special providence, he tarried there but one Sabbath, and his next remove was to the scene of his future labours-a field vastly more extensive, and one which he was eminently fitted to occupy.

CHAPTER VII.

Visits Portland—his favourable reception, and Ordination.

On the morning of Monday, August 24th, Mr. Payson left Andover for Portland; his mind absorbed with heavenly meditations on the road, and praying and renewing his covenant with God at his resting places. Stop where he might, he was sure to find, or to make the place, a Bethel; and while the solemnity of his devotions resembled that of the patriarch's, on his way to Padanaram; his faith realized what that patriarch saw in vision, and found an open way of communication between earth and heaven. Thus he journied,

'Prayer all his business, all his pleasure praise.'

He arrived on the morning on the third day, and lost no time in renewing his acquaintance, and entering on his new duties there. The frightful reputation of being a Hopkinsian had preceded him, and accounts in part for the following entry in his Diary :

'AUG. 27.-Visited a number of my old friends, lest they should think me sour and morose, and so pay less regard to my preaching. Was kindly received.'

A letter to his parents contains more on the same subject:

Portland, Aug. 31, 1807.

'I arrived here on Wednesday morning, 26th instant, after a very pleasant ride, from which I have already derived sufficient advantage to compensate me for the

time and expense. My health seems wonderfully improved; I enjoy sound, refreshing sleep, which I have not for two months before, and I feel strong and able to study. Nor shall I derive less advantage, in another point of view, from this tour. Mr. Kellogg tells me, that he had heard in Boston that I was rapidly gaining the title and reputation of a Hopkinsian; and that a great part of his plan, in getting me here, was to counteract that report, and with the assistance of Mrs. K—, to make something of me, to use his own expression. However this may be, he seems disposed to be of service to me, and has already given me some hints that will be very beneficial. He has also a good library, and I shall, I trust, be able to spend the time here both profitably and agreeably. As the people here have heard that I am a Hopkinsian, and think it a great pity that a harmless young man should be transformed into such a shocking creature, I thought it might have good effect to call upon all my old acquaintance, in order to convince them that my religion was not of that morose, unsocial kind which they supposed; and that a Hopkinsian, supposing me to be one, was not quite so bad as the devil. My visits were received more kindly than I expected, and, I have reason to think, will in some measure, produce the designed effect.'

Mr. Payson entered upon the appropriate duties of his calling with the most exemplary diligence and energy, and the effects were almost immediately visible. Such was the attention excited by his preaching, that he seems to have regarded himself as in great danger of thinking more highly of himself than he ought to think, and to have brought all his spiritual efforts to bear against this propensity. With reference to this he observed frequent seasons of humiliation, and oftener renewed the consecration of himself and his talents to God. It was the

burden of his secret prayers, that he might be delivered from pride, from self-seeking, from preaching himself, instead of Christ Jesus the Lord.

'SEPT. 6.-Heard my performances much commended; and fearing lest I should feel puffed up, I withdrew, and prayed earnestly that I might be preserved from it. And God was pleased to assist me in a most wonderful and unusual manner in pleading, not only for that and other mercies, but in renewing covenant with him, and praising him for all his mercies. Never felt more gratitude, more humility, more love to God and benevolence to man, than at this time. Indulged some hopes that God would pour out his Spirit, but hardly expected it. Saw that 'all the mercies I received were bestowed for the sake of my Lord Jesus alone; and that in myself I was far more deserving of hell, than of all that happiness. Could not praise God as I wished, but my soul panted, and almost fainted with ardour of desire to glorify him, and be wholly devoted to his service.

'SEPT. 14.-Read Baxter on pride. Was almost overwhelmed to see how much I have in my heart. Could hardly refrain from despairing of ever being humble.'

In a letter to his father, written a few days after this, he complains of himself in the following strain :

'I almost despair of making any improvement in this world. God keeps loading me with one blessing on another, but I cannot grow any more grateful. I cannot feel less proud, less selfish, less worldly-minded. Oh, if God by his Spirit did not prevent me, and still in a manner force me to keep striving almost against my will, I should give up in despair. It makes no difference,let me labour ever so much, and feel ever so lively while alone, the moment I go into the pulpit, or a conference meeting, I am as dead and stupid as a post, and have no realizing sense of divine things. The meeting-house is

the grave of every thing good, and the place where corruption always gets the mastery. Sometimes it seems impossible that it should be so. I set out from home so strong, so raised above the world, with so much zeal for God, and so much compassion for poor perishing sinners, that I cannot help hoping it is going to be better with me. But the moment I begin, it is all gone! When I seem to be much engaged, and the people think I am all on fire, I fear that God sees my heart like a mere block of ice. If there are any who can look back with pleasure on a life well spent, I can hardly hope that I am a Christian, or that I ever shall be one; for never shall I be able to do that. Adieu, my dearest parents; do continue to pray for me, for I am walking on ice, or, as the prophet says, "in slippery places in darkness."

Mr. Payson's situation was at this time truly critical and dangerous. His reception as a preacher was flattering almost beyond example. Not one man in a thousand can bear human applause uninjured. "Woe unto you," said Christ to his disciples, "when all men shall speak well of you." The most dreadful part of this woe is that, which falls upon one's spiritual interests. Mr. Payson had scarcely been six weeks in Portland, before overtures were made to him by each of the three Congregational Societies to become their teacher; and there was also a plan agitated to build him a new meeting house. Applications from different parishes in the vicinity, and likewise from abroad, were frequent. The letters, which he wrote to his parents at this period, contain interesting allusions to his circumstances.

'My dearest Parents,

Portland, Sept. 12, 1807.

'When I came here, I could not help indulging a secret hope, that I should be so favoured as to see some