Than mine to find a subject stay'd and wise
Already half-turn'd traitor by furprize.
I felt th' infection flide from him to me,
As in the pox, fome give it to get free;
And quick to fwallow me, methought I faw
One of our giant ftatutes ope its jaw,
In that nice moment, as another lye
Stood juft a-tilt, the minifter came by.
To him he flies, and bows, and bows again,
Then, close as umbra, joins the dirty train.
Not Fannius' felf more impudently near,
When half his nofe is in his prince's ear.
I more amaz'd than Circe's prifoners, when
They felt themselves turn beafts, felt myself then
Becoming traitor, and methought I faw
One of our giant ftatutes ope his jaw
To fuck me in for hearing him: I found
That as burnt venemous leachers do grow found
By giving others their fores, I might grow
Guilty, and he free: therefore I did show
All figns of loathing; but fince I am in,
I must pay mine, and my forefathers fin
To the laft farthing. Therefore to my power
Toughly and ftubbornly I bear; but th' hower
Of mercy now was come: he tries to bring
Me to pay a fine to 'fcape a torturing,
And fays, Sir, can you fpare me- I faid, Willingly;
Nay, Sir, can you spare me a crown? Thankfully I
Gave it, as ranfom; but as fidlers, ftill,
Though they be paid to be gone, yet needs will
Thruft one more jigg upon you: fo did he
With his long complimental thanks vex me.
But he is gone, thanks to his needy want,
And the prerogative of my crown; fcant
I quak'd at heart; and ftill afraid, to see
All the court fill'd with ftranger things than ho,
Ran out as fast, as one that pays his bail,'
And dreads more actions, hurries from a jail.
Bear me, fome god! oh quickly bear me hence
To wholesome folitude, the nurse of sense:
Where contemplation prunes her ruffled wings
And the free foul looks down to pity kings!
There fober thought purfu'd th' amusing theme,
Till fancy colour'd it, and form'd a dream.
A vifion hermits can to hell tranfport,
And forc'd ev'n me to fee the damn'd at court.
Not Dante dreaming all th' infernal state,
Beheld fuch scenes of envy, fin, and hate.
Bafe fear becomes the guilty, not the free;
Suits tyrants, plunderers, but suits not me:
Shall I, the terror of this finful town,
Care, if a liv'ry'd lord or fmile or frown?
Who cannot flatter, and deteft who can,
Tremble before a noble ferving-man ?
O my fair mistress, Truth! fhall I quit thee
For huffing, braggart, puft nobility ?
His thanks were ended, when I (which did fee
All the court fill'd with more ftrange things than he)
Ran from thence with fuch, or more haft than one
Who fears more actions, doth haft from prison.
At home in wholesome folitariness
My piteous foul began the wretchedness
Of fuitors at court to mourn, and a trance
Like his, who dreamt he faw hell, did advance
Itself o'er me: fuch men as he faw there
I saw at court, and worse and more.
Becomes the guilty, not th' accufer: then,
Shall I, none's flave, of highborn or rais'd men
Thou, who fince yesterday haft roll'd o'er all
The bufy, idle blockheads of the ball,
Haft thou, oh fun! beheld an emptier fort,
Than fuch as fwell this bladder of a court?
Now pox on those who show a court in wax * !
It ought to bring all courtiers on their backs :
Such painted puppets! fuch a varnish'd race
Of hollow gewgaws, only drefs and face!
Such waxen nofes, ftately ftaring things-
No wonder fome folks bow, and think them kings..
See! where the British youth, engag'd no more,
At Fig's, at White's, § with felons, or a whore,
Fear frowns; and my miftrefs Truth, betray thee
For th' huffing, bragart, puft nobility?
No, no, thou which fince yesterday haft been,
Almoft about the whole world, haft thou feen,
O fun, in all thy journey, vanity,
Such as fwells the bladder of our court? I
Think he which made your + waxen garden, and
Transported it from Italy, to ftand
With us at London, flouts our courtiers; for
Juft fuch gay painted things, which no fap, nor
Tafte have in them, ours are; and natural
Some of the ftocks are; their fruits baftard all.
'Tis ten a clock and paft; all whom the mues,
Baloun, or tennis, diet or the stews
A famous fhow of the court of France, in wax-w
-work.
White's was a noted gaming-houfe Fig's, a prize fighter's academy, where the young nobility received inftruction in those days, it was alfo cuftomary for the nobility and gentry to visit the condemned criminals in New gate.
A fhow of the Italian garden in wax-work, in the time of king James the Firit. That is, of wood.
Pay their laft duty to the court, and come
All fresh and fragrant, to the drawing-room;
In hues as gay, and odours as divine,
As the fair fields they fold to look so fine.
"That's velvet for a king !" the flatt'rer fwears;
'Tis true, for ten days hence 'twill be king Lear's.
Our court may juftly to our ftage give rules,
That helps it both to fool's-coats and to fools.
And why not players ftrut in courtiers cloaths?
For these are actors too, as well as thofe :
Wants reach all states; they beg but better dreft,
And all is fplendid poverty at best.
Painted for fight, and effenc'd for the fmell,
Like frigates fraught with fpice and cochinell,
Sail in the ladies: how each pirate eyes
So weak a veffel, and fo rich a prize!
Top-gallant he, and she in all her trim,
He boarding her, she striking fail to him :
"Dear countefs! you have charms all hearts to hit !" And Sweet Sir Fopling! you have fo much wit!"
Had all the morning held, now the fecond
Time made ready, that day, in flocks are found
In the Prefence, and I (God pardon me)
As fresh and sweet their apparels be, as be
Their fields they fold to buy them. For a king
Thofe hofe are, cry the flatterers and bring
Them next week to the theatre to fell.
Wants reach all ftates: me feems they do as well
At ftage,
as courts; all are players. Whoe'er looks
(For themselves dare not go) o'er Cheapfide books,
Shall find their wardrobes inventory. Now
The ladies come. As pirates (which do know
That there came weak fhips fraught with cutchanel)
men board them; and praise (as they think) well, VOL. II.
Such wits and beauties are not prais'd for nought,
For both the beauty and the wit are bought.
'Twou'd burft ev'n Heraclitus with the spleen,
To see those anticks, Foplin and Courtin:
The prefence feems, with things fo richly odd,
The mofque of Mahound, or fome queer pa-god.
See them furvey their limbs by Durer's rules *,
Of all beau-kind the beft proportion'd fools!
Adjuft their cloaths, and to confeffion draw
Those venial fins, an atom, or a straw;
But oh! what terrors must distract the foul
Convicted of that mortal crime, a hole;
Or fhould one pound of powder less bespread
Those monkey-tails that wag behind their head.
Thus finish'd, and corrected to a hair,
They inarch, to prate their hour before the fair.
Their beauties; they the men's wits; both are bought,
Why good wits ne'er wear scarlet gowns, I thought
This caufe, Thefe men, mens wits for speeches buy,
And women buy all red which fcarlets dye.
He call'd her beauty lime-twigs, her hair net :
She fears her drugs ill lay'd, her hair loose fet.
Wouldn't Heraclitus laugh to see Macrine
From hat to fhoe, himself at door refine,
As if the prefence were a mofque and lift
His skirts and hofe, and call his cloaths to fhrift,
Making them confefs not only mortal
Great ftains and holes in them, but venial
Feathers and duft, wherewith they fornicate:
And then by Durer's rules furvey the ftate
Of his each limb, and with ftrings the odds tries
Of his neck to his leg, and waste to thighs.
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