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Impale a Glow-worm, or Virtú profess,

Shine in the dignity of F. R. S.

Some, deep Free-masons, join the filent race

Worthy to fill Pythagoras's place :

Some Botanifts, or Florifts at the leaft,

Or iffue Members of an annual feaft,
Nor paft the meaneft unregarded, one
Rofe a Gregorian, one a Gormogon †.
The laft, not leaft in honour or applause,
Ifis and Cam made DocTORS of her LAWS.
Then, bleffing all, Go, Children of my care!
To Practice now from Theory repair.

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All my commands are easy, fhort, and full:
My Sons! be proud, be selfish, and be dull.
VOL. II.

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Guard

"A brain of Feathers, and a heart of Lead."

For the fatire extends much farther than to the person who occafioned it, and takes in the whole fpecies of those on whom a good Education (to fit them for fome ufeful and learned profeffion) has been beflowed in vain, That worthlefs Band

"Of ever-liftlefs Loit'rers, that attend

"No caufe, no truft, no duty, and no Friend." Who, with an understanding too diffipated and futile for the offices of civil life; and a heart tco lumpish, narrow, and contracted for those of facial, become fit for nothing: And fo turn Wits and Critics, where fenfe and civility are neither required nor expected.

*The Poet all along expreffes a very particular concern for this filent Race; He has here provided, that in cafe they will not waken or open (as was before proposed) to a Humming-bird or a Cockle, yet at worst they may be made Free-mafons; where Taciturnity is the only effential Qualification, as it was the chief of the difciples of Pythagoras.

A fort of Lay-brothers, Slips from the Root of the Free-mafons.

We should be unjust to the reign of Dulness, not to confefs that her's has one advantage in it rarely to be met with in Modern Governments, which is, that the public Education of her Youth fits and prepares them for the obfervance of her Laws, and the exertion of thofe Virtues fhe recommends. For what makes men prouder than the empty knowledge of Words; what more Selfish than the Free-thinker's System of Morals; or duller than the profeffion of true Virtuofofhip? Nor are her Inftitutions lefs admirable in themselves, than in the fitness of these their several relations, to promote the harmony of the whole. For the tells her Sons, and with great truth, that all her commands are cafy, short, and full." For is any thing in nature more eafy than

the

Guard my Prerogative, affert my Throne :
This Nod confirms each Privilege your own *,
The Cap and Switch + be facred to his Grace;
With Staffs and Pumps the Marquis leads the Race;
From Stage to Stage the licens'd Earl may run,
Pair'd with his Fellow-Charioteer the Sun;
The learned Baron Butterflies defign,

Or draw to filk Arachne's fubtile line ‡ ;
The Judge to dance his brother Serjeant call || ;
The Senator at Cricket urge the ball;
The Bishop ftow (Pontific Luxury !)
An hundred Souls of Turkeys in a pye;

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the exertion of Pride; more fort and fimple than the principle of Selfishness; or more full and ample than the sphere of Dulness? Thus, Birth, Education, and wife Policy, all concurring to fupport the throne of our Goddess, great must be the strength thereof.

SCRIBL.

• This speech of Dulness to her Sons at parting may poffibly fall short of the Reader's expectation; who may imagine the Goddess might give thera Charge of more confequence, and, from such a Theory as is before delivered, incite them to the practice of fomething more extraordinary, than to personate Running Footmen, Jockeys, Stage Coachmen, etc.

But if it be well confidered, that whatever inclination they might have to do mifchief, her fons are generally rendered harmless by their Inability; and that it is the common effect of Dulness (even in her greatest efforts) to defeat her own design; the Poet, I am persuad d, will be justified, and it will be allowed that thefe worthy perfons, in their feveral ranks, do as much as can be expected from them.

+ The Goddess's political balance of favour, in the diftribution of her rewards, deferves our notice. It confifts in joining with thofe Honours claimed by birth and high place, others more adapted to the genius and talents of the Candidates. And thus her great Fore-runner, John of Leiden, King of Munster, entered on his Government, by making his ancient friend and companion, Knipperdolling, General of his Horfe and Hangman. And had but Fortune feconded his great schemes of Reformation, it is faid, he would have established his whole Household on the fame reasonable footing.

SCRIBL.

This is one of the most ingenious employments affigned, and therefore recommended only to Peers of Learning. Of weaving Stockings of the Webs of Spiders, íee the Phil. Tranf.

|| Alluding perhaps to that ancient and folemn Dance, intitled, A call of Serjeants.

The

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The sturdy Squire to Gallic mafters stoop,
And drown his Lands and Manors in a Soupe.
Others import yet nobler arts from France,
Teach Kings to fiddle*, and make Senates dance +.
Perhaps more high some daring fon may foar,
Proud to my lift to add one Monarch more :
And nobly conscious. Princes are but things
Born for First Minifters, as Slaves for Kings,
Tyrant fupreme! fhall three Eftates command,

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And MAKE ONE MIGHTY DUNCIAD OF THE LAND! More fhe had spoke, but yawn'd-All Nature nods:

What Mortal can refift the Yawn of Gods?

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Churches and Chapels || inftantly it reach'd:

(St. James's firft, for leaden G— preach'd)

Then catch'd the Schools; the Hall scarce kept awake; The Convocation gap'd, but could not fpeak §:

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Loft

* An ancient amufement of Sovereign Princes, (viz.) Achilles, Alexander, Nero; though despised by Themistocles, who was a Republican.

Either after their Prince, or to Pontoife, or Siberia.

This verfe is truly Homerical; as is the conclusion of the Action, where the great Mother compofes all, in the fame manner as Minerva at the period of the Odyffey. It may indeed feem a very singular Epitafis of a Poem,_to end as this does, with a Great Yawn; but we must confider it as the Yawn of a God, and of powerful effects. It is not out of Nature, most long and grave counfels concluding in this very manner: Nor without Authority, the incomparable Spencer having ended one of the most considerable of his works with Roar; but then it is the Roar of a Lion, the effects whereof are described as the Catastrophe of the Poem.

The Progrefs of this Yawn is judicious, natural, and worthy to be noted. First it feizeth the Churches and Chapels; then catcheth the Schools, where, tho' the boys be unwilling to fleep, the Mafters are not: Next Westminster hall, much more hard indeed to fubdue, and not totally put to fi lence even by the Goddess: Then the Convocation, which tho' extremely defirous to speak, yet cannot: Even the Houfe of Commons, juftly called the Senfe of the Nation, is loft (that is to say suspended) during the Yawn (far be it from our Author to fuggeft it could be loft any longer!) but it fpreadeth at large over all the rest of the Kingdom, to fuch a degree, that. Palinurus himself (though as incapable of fleeping as Jupiter) yet noddeth for a moment; the effect of which, though ever fo momentary, could not but cause fome Relaxation, for the time, in all public affairs. SCRIBL

§ Implying a great defire fo to do, as the learned Scholiaft on the plac rightly

Loft was the Nation's Senfe, nor could be found,
While the long folemn Unifon went round:
Wide, and more wide, it spread o'er all the realm;
Ev'n Palinurus nodded at the Helm :

The Vapour mild o'er each Committee crept;
Unfinish'd Treaties in each office slept ;
And Chieflefs Armies doz'd out the Campaign;
And Navies yawn'd for Orders on the Main *.
O Mufe! relate (for you can tell alone,
Wits have short Memories †, and Dunces none)
Relate, who firft, who last resign'd to rest;
Whose Heads fhe partly, whofe completely bleft;
What charms could Faction, what Ambition lull,
The Venal quiet, and intrance the Dull;

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Till drown'd was Senfe, and Shame, and Right, and

Wrong

O fing, and hufh the Nations with thy Song!

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and

rightly obferves. Therefore, beware Reader, left thou take this Gape for a Yawn, which is attended with no defire but to go to reft: by no means the difpofition of the Convocation; whofe melancholy cafe in short is this: She was, as is reported, infected with the general influence of the Goddefs; while the was yawning carelefly at her cafe, a wanton Courtier took her at advantage, and in the very nick clap`da Gag into her chops. Well therefore may we know her meaning by her gaping; and this distressful posture our poet here defcribes, just as she stands at this day, a fad example of the effects of Dulnefs and Malice uncheck'd, and defpifed. BENTL.

*VER. 615, 618.] Thefe Verfes were written many years ago, and may be found in the State Poems of that time. So that Scriblerus is mistaken,

or whoever else have imagined this Poem of a fresher date.

This feems to be the reason why the Poets, when they give us a Cata, logue, conftantly call for help on-the Mufes, who, as the Daughters of Memory, are obliged not to forget any thing. So Homer, Iliad ii. and Virgil, En vii. But our Poet had yet another reason for putting this Task upon the Muse, that, all befides being asleep, the only could relate what pafled.

SCRIBL.

It were a Problem worthy the folution of Mr. Ralph and his Patron, who had lights that we know nothing of;- -Which required the greatest effort of our Goddess's power, to intrance the Dull, or to quiet the Venal. For though the Venal may be more unruly than the Dull, yet, on the other hand, it demands a much greater expence of her Virtue to intrance than barely to

quiet.

SCRIBL

In vain, in vain,-the all-compofing Hour

Refiftlefs falls: the Mufe obeys the Pow'r.

She comes! fhe comes the fable Throne + behold
Of Night Primoeval, and of Chaos old!
Before her, Fancy's gilded clouds decay,
And all its varying Rain bows die away.
Wit shoots in vain its momentary fires,
The meteor drops, and in a flash expires.
As one by one, at dread Medea's ftrain,
The fick'ning ftars fade off th' ethereal plain ;
As Argus' eyes, by Hermes' wand oppreft,
Clos'd one by one to everlasting rest :
Thus at her felt approach, and secret might,
Art after Art goes out, and all is Night:
See fkulking Truth to her old cavern fled t,
Mountains of Cafuiftry heap'd o'er her head!
Philofophy, that lean'd on Heav'n before,
Shrinks to her fecond caufe, and is no more,

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Phyfic

*Here the Mufe, like Jove's Eagle, after a fudden stoop at ignoble game, foareth again to the skies. As Prophecy hath ever been one of the chief provinces of Poefy, our poet here foretells from what we feel, what we are to fear; and in the ftyle of other prophets, hath ufed the future tense for the preterit: fince what he says shall be, is already to be feen, in the writings of fome even of our most adored authors, in Divinity, Philofophy, Phyfics, Metaphyfics, etc. who are too good indeed to be named in fuch company.

↑ The fable Thrones of Night and Chaos, here represented as advancing to extinguish the light of the Sciences, in the first place blot out the Colours of Fancy and damp the Fire of Wit, before they proceed to their work.

Alluding to the faying of Democritus, That Truth lay at the bottom of a deep well, from whence he had drawn her: Though Butler fays, He first put ber in, before be drew her out.

Philofophy has at length brought things to that pafs, as to have it efteemed unphilofophical to rest in the firft Caufe; as if its ends were an endlefs indagation of cause after caufe, without ever coming to the first. So that to avoid this unlearned difgrace, fome of the propagators of our best philofophy have had recourse to the contrivance here hinted at. For this Philofophy, which is founded in the principle of Gravitation, first considered that property in matter, as fomething extrinsical to it, and impressed immediately by God upon it. Which fairly and modeftly coming up to the first Cause, was pushing natural enquiries as far as they should go. But this stopping,

though

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