self-righteous formalist; but does real good

to none.

About this time I foolishly engaged in a course of diversion and visiting, more than I had done, since my ordination: this unfitted me for secret prayer, and close meditation, and rendered the Scriptures, and other religious studies insipid and irksome to me, (a never failing consequence of this vain compliance with the world.). For a time therefore my ardor was damped, my anxiety banished, and my inquiries retarded. However, I was not permitted entirely to drop my religious pursuits. Generally I made it a rule to read something in the Scriptures every day, and had a task of daily devotion; but I was very formal and lifeless in both of them.

Yet, not long after, I was engaged in earnest meditation on our Lord's discourse with Nicodemus, (John, c. iii.) I felt au anxious desire to understand this interesting portion of Scripture; especially to know what it was to be born again, or from above, and of the Spirit: which in five verses our

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Saviour hath three times declared absolutely necessary to salvation. It was absurd to suppose, that such strong expressions implied no more, than baptism with water. Tillotson's controversial sermons on this subject afforded me no satisfaction. Some great and total change I supposed to be intended, not only in the behaviour, but also in the heart. But having not yet clearly experienced that change, I could not understand wherein it consisted. However, having offered some poor prayers for divine teaching, I undertook to preach upon it but I talked very darkly, employed a considerable part of my time in declaiming against visionaries and enthusiasts, and reaped very little benefit from it. Yet I was so well satisfied with my performance, that in the course of my correspondence with Mr., I sent him these sermons for his perusal; who, in return, sent me some of his own upon the same subject. But though sincerely desirous to understand our Lord's meaning in this important matter, I was too proud to be taught by him; I cast my eye,

therefore, carelessly over some of them, and returned the manuscript, without attending to any thing contained in it.

Nothing material occurred after this, until the next spring, 1776; when I was induced by what I had learned from Bishop Burnet, to establish a lecture once a week in one of my parishes, for expounding the Scriptures. This brought many passages, which I had not observed, under attentive consideration, and afforded my reflecting mind abundance of employment, in attempting to reconcile them with each other, and with my scheme of doctrine.

Little progress, however, had been made, when, in May 1776, I heard a dignified clergyman, in a visitation sermon, recommend Mr. Soame Jennyns's "Treatise on the internal evidences of Christianity." In consequence of this recommendation, I perused it, and not unprofitably. The truth and importance of the gospel revelation appeared, with convincing evidence, to my understanding, and came with efficacy to my heart, by reading this book: thence I

received more distinct, and heart-affecting views of the design of God in this revelation of himself; and I was led to much serious reflection, and earnest prayer to be led to, or established in the truth, concerning the nature and reality of the atonement by the death of Christ; for hitherto I was a Socinian, or very little better, in this respect.

But, to counterbalance this advantage, Dr. Clarke's Scripture doctrine of the Trinity, and the controversy, which ensued upon its publication, became a favorite part of my study. The Arian scheme seems so inconsistent with reason, that when reflecting men in orde to avoid those mysterious, and as they imagine, unreasonable conclusions, which according to the true meaning of the words, the Scriptures contain, have been induced to become Arians; it is wonderful they do not, for the same cause, embrace the Socinian system. This is the natural progress of unhumbled reason : from Arianism to Socinianism: from Socinianism to Deism; and then to Atheism. Many, and awful have been the

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examples of reasoning, and learned men, who, under the name of Philosophers, arrogating to themselves the prerogative of superior discernment, have manifested the propriety, with which they claimed this preeminence, by treading this down-hill road, almost, if not quite, to the very bottom.

But when a man has fallen so low as Socinianism, not merely for want of information, or by blindly and implicitly adopting the sentiments of other men; but by leaning to his own understanding, and prefering the conclusions of his own reason to the infallible dictates of the Holy Ghost; it is not common for him to return gradually, by the retrogade path, first to Arianism, and then to the received doctrine of the Trinity. Yet this was my case. Dr. Clarke appeared to me so undeniably to establish his argument by express Scripture evidences, and so plausibly defended his system on both hands, and backed his cause with so many seeming authorities; that on one side, I found myself unable,any longer,to maintain my Socinian principles, but was constrained to re