"Adzooks,
"Right we
Who's Harry
Why Tom
Away he ran
With all h
Who with go
The question

"Noah of old

Or grown up
Shem, Ham, an
Now who was

"I have it now,"
"I'll answer li
Who's Japhet's fat
Why Long Tom

THE COLLEGIAN AN

At Trin. Coll. Cam.-which
Trinity College, Cambridge
One Harry Dashington-a you

In all the learning commonly
For those who choose that class
For finishing their education :
That is he understood comput

The odds at any race or matc Was a dead hand at pigeon shoo Could kick up rows-knock do Play truant and the rake at rando Drink-tie cravats and drive a Remonstrance, fine, and rustication, So far from working reformation,

some.

The tone and manner of the Narrator should The Porter may be supposed to be a gruff voice, while the Collegian is a gay youth, fond of but while endeavouring to attain his object, uses a st ing manner.

And all without success; but that
Is hardly to be wonder'd at,

Because no shilling had been dropp'd,
So he gave o'er the search at last,
Regain'd the door, and found it fast ;-
With sundry oaths and growls and groans,
He rang once-twice—and thrice, and then,
Mingled with giggling heard the tones
Of Harry mimicking old Ben.-
"Who's there?- 'Tis really a disgrace
To ring so loud- -I've lock'd the gate-
I know my duty--'Tis too late-
You wouldn't have me lose my place."

"Psha! Mr. Dashington: remember, This is the midddle of November.

I'm stripp'd;--'tis raining cats and dogs. "Hush, hush!" quoth Hal, "I'm fast asleep;" And then he snored as loud and deep

As a whole company of hogs.

"But hark'ye, Ben, I'll grant admittance At the same rate I paid myself."

66

Nay, master, leave me half the pittance,”
Replied the avaricious elf.

"No all or none--a full acquittance;
The terms I know are somewhat high;
But you have fix'd the price, not I-

I won't take less ;- -I can't afford it."
So finding all his haggling vain,
Ben, with an oath and groan of pain,

66

Drew out the guinea and restored it.

Surely you'll give me," growl'd th' outwitted Porter, when again admitted,

"Something, now you've done your joking, For all this trouble, time, and soaking."

"Oh, surely-surely," Harry said;

"Since as you urge, I broke your rest, And you're half drown'd and quite undress'd, I'll give you-leave to go to bed."

WILL WADDLE.•

Who has e'er been in London, that overgrown place,
Has seen "Lodgings to Let:" stare him full in the face;
Some are good, and let dearly, while some, 'tis well known,
Are so dear and so bad, they are best let alone.

Will Waddle, whose temper was studious and lonely,
Hired lodgings that took single gentlemen only!
But Will was so fat, he appear'd like a tun,
Or like two single gentlemen roll'd into one.

He enter'd his rooms, and to bed he retreated,
But, all the night long, he felt fever'd and heated;
And though heavy to weigh as a score of fat sheep,
He was not by any means heavy to sleep.

Next night 'twas the same !—and the next-and the next;
He perspired like an ox; he was nervous and vex'd;
Week pass'd after week, 'till by weekly succession,
His weakly condition was past all expression.

In six months his acquaintance began much to doubt him,
For his skin," like a lady's loose gown," hung about him:
He sent for a doctor and cried like a ninny,

"I've lost many pounds-make me well-there's a guinea." The doctor look'd wise :-" a slow fever," he said, Prescribed sudorifics, and going to bed.

"Sudorifics in bed!" exclaim'd Will, "are humbugs!
I've enough of them there, without paying for drugs!"
Will kick'd out the doctor, but when ill indeed,
E'en dismissing the doctor don't always succeed,
So calling his host, he said, "Sir, do you know,
I'm the fat single gentleman six months ago?
"Look'e landlord, I think," argued Will with a grin,
“That with honest intentions you first took me in;
But from the first night-and to say it I'm bold-
I've been so very hot, that I'm sure I caught cold."

* Will's manner is gay, with a degree of archness; the Doctor is of course grave, and the Baker respectful. The puns require a particularly emphatic mode of delivery to produce proper effect.

I

Quoth the landlord- "Till now I ne'er had a dispute,
I've let lodgings ten years—I'm a baker to boot;
In airing your sheets, Sir, my wife is no sloven,
And your bed is immediately-over my oven."
The oven!!!

passion,

says Will says the host, "Why this

In that excellent bed died three people of fashion,! Why so crusty-good Sir?"- "Zounds!" cries Will, in a taking,

"Who wouldn't be crusty with half a year's baking?'

Will paid for his rooms.- -Cried the host with a sneer, "Well, I see you've been going away half a year."

Friend, we can't well agree-yet no quarrel," Will said, "But I'd rather not perish while you make your bread." COLMAN.

THE COUNTRYMAN AND HIS ASS.*

A country fellow and his son, they tell
In modern fables, had an ass to sell :
For this intent they turn'd it out to play,
And fed so well, that by the destined day,
They brought the creature into sleek repair,
And drove it gently to a neighb'ring fair.
As they were jogging on, a rural class

Was heard to say, "Look! look there at that ass!
And those two blockheads, trudging on each side,
That have not either of them sense to ride ;
Asses all three!" and thus the country folks
On man and boy began to cut their jokes.
Th' old fellow minded nothing that they said,
But ev'ry word stuck in the young one's head;
And thus began their comment thereupon:
"Ne'er heed 'em lad." "Nay, father, do get on;"
"Not I indeed." Why then let me, I pray;"
"Well do: and see what prating tongues will say.”

* The characters in this piece being all countrymen, have a rustic dialect, but the tone of each should be made to differ. The shrill childish voice of the boy should be made to contrast with the rough voice of his father.