"had he not luckily prevented it in

"time."

CHAP. V.

The danger of innovations.

"TH

cr

86

His good man, you must know; "this Cumberland preacher of "the gospel, obferving that his congregation had no great notion of a heaven, whose joys confifted in finging hallelujahs, without a word "of eating and drinking, when the "morning-fervice was over, took upon him, after the example of Mahomet, to make a heaven, that "he fancied would fuit the taste of "his flock; thinking, like the priests "of all religions, there could be no "harm in biting men out of their fenses,

"fenses, provided it was for the good "of their fouls. "To be fure," fays

Teague very innocently. He there"fore told them in one of his bet"ter-best sermons, that, provided they led a godly life, and bore their "hardships with Chriftian patience,

66

they would certainly go to that part "of heaven, where they would "have fufficient amends made for all "the hungry, hard-working days they underwent in this world; for " he would insure them a hot plumpudding upon the table, exactly "at twelve o' clock every day, be"fides beans and bacon, and bottled

ale in plenty. He thought if this "would not tempt the hungry "rogues to mend their manners, "and lead a godly life, nothing "would; but, like what is done "to our acts of parliament, he was

obliged the Sunday after, to make "additions and emendations to his "fermon; for, between Sunday and

Sunday, two of the most hungry of "his parishioners hanged themselves, "about eleven o'clock in the morn

ing, in order to get to heaven just "in pudding-time; upon which the 66 parfon told them the next Sunday, "that whoever haftened their depar"ture out of this world, would cer"tainly go where they would meet "with pudding indeed, and plum

pudding too; but the plums ❝ were red-hot buliets, and the fauce "burning brimftone, which a devil " of a footman, in a flaming livery, "made them fwallow by laddlefuls, "as fauce for their hot bullets. "Think," fays he, "my belov"ed friends, what a fine condition

Our

"our two neighbours are in at pre"fent, by their fo rafhly jumping out "of the frying-pan into the fire. I "affure you, could they come back

1

again, they would be well content"ed to bear all the hardships of this "world, and live fix thousand years, "in lieu of fixty, upon mouldy rye"bread and four butter-milk, instead "which, every laddleful of the red "hot ftuff they now fwallow, runs "their tripes fo upon snick-fnarls, thạt

they do nothing but roar from "meal to meal, without ceafing, and "there they muft roar for ever and "ever."

"This fermon had its defired ef"fect; and no more of his parishio"ners are fince gone a plum-pudding-hunting: but, for fear of lofing any more of his flock, the E 3

"parfon

"parfon takes particular care, in all "the fermons he makes fince, not to " mention a fingle word of the pud

ding. I would have you, there"fore, fays the 'fquire," to take << great care never to cook them "up a new dish of either pudding, or any thing elfe. "Indeed "I will not, my dear honey," fays Teague; "fince that is the cafe, "there fhall not a fingle potatoe 66 grow in heaven, out of any of my, "fermons; though I think it a most heavenly fruit.

"Just then, Mr. Derbyshire's car"riage coming to the door, he fhook "the honeft Hibernian cordially by "the hand, and left him to retire to "the corner of the parfonage-house, "the most contented man upon

"earth;