"their trade, before they fet up for "themselves, which would prevent "them from being look'd on with "fuch a contemptible eye, by their "brother-tradefman in politics, fent "from the different courts of Eu

rope, to deal with them in that "branch of business. Triftram, inftead of giving me any direct an"fwer, fell into a deep reverie."

After wrinkling his forehead, for near ten minutes (all which time it looked exactly like the butt-end of a pair of old bellows) and, ftroking down his lanthorn-jaws, the fkin of which rattled betwixt his finger and thumb, like a piece of fhrivelled parchment, he began the next chap

ter.

O2

CHAP.

"I

CHA P. XXIII.

A short chapter.

HAVE obferved," fays Tristram (ftill preferving his lucu

brationic attitude,) " and it is an ob"fervation you must have made, if

you are capable of making any ob"fervations at all, that although the "flesh of a fat calf's head eats a "thoufand degrees better than the "flesh of a lean one, yet the brains "of the lean animal have by far "the highest flavour, becaufe the fat "of the well fed brute, mixing with "the brains, gives them fuch an infi

ઃઃ

pid fmoothness, that, to a difcern

"ing pallet, they are even difgust"ing.

cr

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ing. This, my friend," fays he, partly accounts for your excep"tion; for if fat renders brains fo infipid to the tafte, it must render "the productions of thofe brains as infipid to the other fenfes ; for "which reason, if I was a king, I "fhould be very cautious how I "meddled with fat brains at any "rate; for nothing is fo likely to bring both himself, and every body concerned with him, into fcrapes, as a fat-headed fellow: Ju"lius Cæfar lik'd fuch mortals, be"cause he knew that the oily parts "of the fat, which always fwim on "the top of the brains, would keep

❝ dy

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thought from afcending to the fur"face; he hated your lean brain'd "fellows for the fame reafon, be"cause he knew they would think, O 3

and,

and, of confequence, think he was "a fad dog, with a bad title.

"I like not that spare Caffius.

"Now a man with half an eye, un"lefs that half eye has been under the "hands of an advertising oculift, may

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easily fee wondrous meaning in "thofe fix words.

"But my Cæfar," fays Triftram, "who is one of the beft of kings, as "well as one of the beft of men, has "no occafion to fear that the devil "himself, in the fhape of either a fat "or lean brain'd fellow, can think

any ill of him he may, therefore, "without fcruple, employ the heads "that are moft capable of ferving

him; for, if all mankind are rogues, "as a charitable divine once hinted in "a fermon he had reafon to fear they

"naturally

"naturally were, a fenfible rogue Fought furely to have the prefe"rence; he will do fervice to his

66

mafter, because his fenfe dic"tates to him, it is the only way of

doing folid good to himself; but "a fellow that is fool, as well as knave, will fell his king and coun66 try, without being able to foresee, "that he himself will be looked up"on by the purchafer, as one of the "most contemptible articles in the "whole purchase, and be used accordingly."

Pray, Mr. Shandy," fays I, "how "came calves heads and courtiers heads "to club their brains fo lovingly toge"ther in your pericranium ?"

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Because, fays he," carelefly," of

"late I have gotten a trick, of never thinking of one without the other."

The