the wax-chandler's widow; Mrs. Shortpint, the vintner's widow; and Mifs Wryjaws, an old maid, daughter to a rich trunk-maker, who had left her a large fortune, but ftill i proved too fmall to get her a husband, because her mind was more crooked than her chin: there was likewife a Mrs. Flanagrannellegan, the widow of an Irish officer, that was killed in Ethiopia, where the use of pen and ink being unknown, she never could get a certificate of his death; and some people think her wedding was confummated in the fame country, because she never could get a certificate of her marriage: this widow contracted fo great a friend ship for Miss Wryjaws, that she sent over to Ireland for her own brother, Sir Patrick M'Bull, to come and help VOL. IV. L

her

her to difpofe of the odious title of old maid; and when I faw them, the treaty of marriage was pretty far advanced; neither her crooked chin, nor her back, which was fo civil as to keep her chin in countenance, being any objection to our good-natured Irishman.

I was paid to this Mrs. Coppernofe the very day that all thefe agreeable people met at her houfe: the converfation at first was general; at laft it turned on drinking. By Ja"fus," fays Sir Patrick, "we never "mind in my country, if a man "drinks till he can't ftand, let him "but take care to walk foberly home: "but to fee a drunken man reel in the "ftreets, is very beaftly."-" Would "it not be more fo, to see a sober

man

man reel?" fays Mrs. Shortpints "No, by Jafus," replies my friend Teague" but you are out there, "dear joy; for a sober man may get "drunk two or three times a day, "and nobody take any notice of it." I was really as much pleafed with the Boglander's speech as his figure: he had a true potatoe face, as round as a hoop, and as flat as a trencher, on which nature, who is uniform in all her works, had clap'd the nose of a Dutch maftiff-As he was just catched in the woods, and came over before they had time to cut his tail off, you need not wonder that he wore a rare long one. On his arrival in town, his fifter had taken him to Monmouth-ftreet, and fitted him. with an embroidered jacket; I would have called it a coat, if it had reach

ed half way down his thighs; but, as it did not, it must be contented with the name of jacket: but his fifter, the widow, chofe it, because it fhewed his fine thick legs and thighs to great advantage :-her idea of beauty confifting in thickness. Her hufband, the captain, before he went to the Ethiopian wars, had presented her with a red petticoat, hooped round the edge with a gold lace; this was converted into a laced waistcoat for Sir Patrick: there was likewise enough to spare for three quarters of a pair of breeches, which an honest countryman, by clapping in a dozen pieces of cabbage behind, made into a complete pair.-Had Sir Patrick been an Englishman, or learn'd the filthy English trick, of taking up his coat-skirts, and roasting his backfide againft

against the fire, the breeches would not have been the thing; but a good coal fire was fo great a rarity to him, there was no fear of his turning his

tail to it.

As it was neceffary for Sir Patrick to bring his courtship to a conclufion, before the breeches were worn out, his fifter not having another petticoat to make a fecond pair, he took care to ftick exceeding close to Mifs Wryjaws, and, by a happy knack which he brought over with him, complimented her in the very words an Englishman would make ufe of to abufe her if she understood irony; for, if you spoke of any lady's fine eyes, he would fay, "By Jafus, my dear, Mifs "Wryjaws, they are no more to be "compared to yours, than an Eng