For, look you, Sir, the grand defign upon the stage is to keep the auditors in fufpence; for to guefs presently at the plot, and the fenfe tires them before the end of the first act: now, here every line furprises you, and brings in matter. And then, for fcenes, cloaths and dances, we put quite down all that ever went before us; and those are the things, you know, that are effential to a play.

2 Play. Well, I am not of thy mind; but, fo it gets us money, 'tis no great matter.

Enter Bayes, Johnson and Smith.

Bayes. Come, come in, gentlemen. Y'are very welcome Mr.-a-Ha' you your part ready? 1 Play. Yes, Sir.

Bayes. But do you understand the true humour

of it.

I Play. Ay, Sir, pretty well.

Bayes. And Amaryllis, how does fhe do? Does not her armour become her?

3 Play. O, admirably!

Bayes. I'll tell you now a pretty conceit. What do you think I'll make 'em call her anon, in this play.

Smi. What, I pray?

Bayes

Bayes, Why, I make 'em call her Amaryllis, because of her amour. Ha, ha, ha.

Johns. That will be very well indeed.

Bayes. Ay, it's a pretty little rogue; I knew her face would fet off armour extremely; and to tell you true, I writ that part only for her. You must know she is my mistress*.

Johns. Then I know another thing, little Bayes,

that thou haft had her.

Bayes. No, not yet; but I am fure I fhall: For I have talk'd bawdy to her already.

Johnf. Haft thou, faith? Pr'ythee how was that? Bayes. Why, Sir, there is in the French tongue, a certain criticifm, which, by the variation of the masculine adjective instead of the feminine, makes a quite different fignification of the word: as for example, Ma vie, is my life; but, if before vie you put mon instead of ma, you make it bawdy.

Johns. Very true.

Bayes. Now, Sir, I, having obferv'd this, fet a

I writ that part only for her. You must know she is my mistress.] "The part of Amaryllis was acted by Mrs. "Anne Reeves, who, at that time, was kept by Mr. Bayes.

trap

trap for her, the other day in the tiring-room; for this, faid I, Adieu bel efperanfa de ma vie ; (which I'gad is very pretty :) to which the anfwered, I vow, almoft as prettily every jot; for, faid the, Songez a ma vie, monfieur; whereupon I prefently snapp'd this upon her; Non, non, Madam-----Songez vous à mon, by gad, and nam'd the thing directly to her.

Smi. This is one of the richest ftories, Mr. Bayes, that ever I heard of.

Bayes. Ay, let me alone, P'gad, when I get to 'em; I'll nick 'em, I warrant you: but I'm a little nice; for you must know, at this time, I am kept by another woman in this city.

Smi. How kept? for what?

Bayes. Why, for a Beau Garçon: I am i'fackins. Smi. Nay, then we shall never have done.

Bayes. And the rogue is fo fond of me, Mr. Johnson, that, I vow to God, I know not what to do with myself.

Johnf. Do with thyfelf! no; I wonder how thou canft make a fhift to hold out at this rate.

Bayes. O devil, I can toil like a horfe; only fometimes it makes me melancholy; and then I

vow to gad, for a whole day together, I am not able to say you one good thing if it were to fave my life. Smi. That we do verily believe, Mr. Bayes.

Bayes. And that's the only thing, I'gad, which mads me in my amours; for I'll tell you, as a friend, Mr. Johnson, my acquaintance, I hear, begin to give out that I am dull: now I am the farthest from it in the whole world, I'gad, but only forfooth, they think I am fo, because I can fay nothing.

Johns. Phoo, pox. That's ill-natur'dly done

of 'em.

Bayes. Ay, gad, there's no trufting o' these rogues; but--a--Come, let's fit down. Look you Sirs, the chief hinge of this play, upon which the whole plot moves and turns, and that caufes the variety of all the feveral accidents, which, you know, are the thing in nature that makes up the grand refinement of a play, is that I fuppofe* two

*I fuppofe two kings of the fame place: as for example, at Brentford; for I love to write familiarly. "Colonel "Henry Howard, fon of Thomas earl of Berkshire, made "a called The united Kingdoms, which had two

play,

kings in it. This, it is generally believed, gave our "noble author juft occafion to fet up two kings at Brent"ford; though others are of opinion, his grace had the two

royal

kings of the fame place: as for example, at Brentford; for I love to write familiarly. Now, the people having the fame relations to 'em both; the fame affections, the fame duty, the fame obedience, and all that; are divided amongst themselves in point of devoir and intereft, how to behave themselves equally between 'em: these kings differing fometimes in particulars; tho', in the main, they agree. (I know not whether I make myself well understood.)

Johnf. I did not observe you, Sir; pray, say that again.

Bayes. Why, look you, Sir, (nay I beseech you be a little curious in taking notice of this, or else you'll never understand my notion of the thing) the people being embarrass'd by their equal ties to both, and the fovereigns concern'd in a reci

"royal brothers in his thoughts. The United kingdoms "was acted at the Cock-pit in Drury-lane, foon after the "Restoration; but miscarrying on the stage, the author had "the modesty not to print it, and therefore the reader cannot " reasonably expect any particular paffages of it. Others "are of opinion, that the two kings are meant in ridicule "of Boabdelin and Abdalla, the two contena ngs of "Granada; and Mr. Dryden has, in most of his ide plays, two contending kings of the fame pla aq st C 2 procal