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DA MASIPPUS. Examples only puzzle the Dispute.

STERTINIU.S. What if a Man should purchase many a Lute, And them so purchas'd keep, but never use, Unskill'd to play, and tasteless of each Muse? Or if another, who had never try'd To make a Shoe, should Lafts and Awls provide ; Or Rigging, though unvers’d in Commerce; all Would him a Fool or Madman juftly call. Are they more fane, who pild-up Treasures keep, And dread, like Sacrilege, to touch the Heap? If Day and Night stretch'd sleepless on the Floor, With a large Club the Owner guards the Door Where lies his Corn, nor ev’n when hungry takes One Grain, on bitter Herbs his Dinner makes, And tho' his Vaults are stock'd with Wines most Drinks such as may with Vinegar compare ; [rare, Tho' in his eightieth Year, on Straw should reft, While hoarded Quilts lie rotting in his Cheft; If most Men think this Wretch from Madness free, 'Tis but because they're full as mad as he.

To Heaven ungrateful, dreaded Want to fhun, Thyself thou starv'st, that thy luxurious Son, Or Slave enfranchis'd, may the more enjoy, And on their vagrant Lufts thy Wealth employ! How little more would cost thy daily Food, If, on thy Sallad pour'd, the Oil were good,

If neat thy Vesture and well-comb'd thy Hair!
Nature is fatisfy'd with simple Fare.
Why then this Perjury, these Thefts, to gain
Superfluous Riches ? Art not thou insane?
If thou with Stones should'st pelt the gaping

And ev’n the Slaves, which to thyself belong,
Boys, Girls, would hoot thee in the public Ways:
Can he who by a Rope or Pcifon 20 flays
Mother or Wife, the Charge of Madness ihun?
This Fact indeed at Argos was not done,
Nor did thy Sword cut short their vital Thread,
As Clytemnestra by Orestes bled :
Think'st thou that Fiends his Mind alone posseft,
After his Steel had pierc'd his Mother's Breast ?
No; by the Furies he was seiz'd, before
The impious Parricide was stain'd with Gore :
For from the Time that he was frantic thought,
Nothing deserving of Reproach he wrought;
Ev’n then his Pylades he ne'er pursued,
Nor in Electra's Blood his Hands imbrued ;
21 His Sister he a Fury only stylid,
And 22 in a pompous Strain his Friend revild.

Possessing much, but still defiring more,
Opimius brooded o'er his treasur'd Store:
On Festivals his frugal Board was grac’d
With Veïan Wine, unfavoury to the Taste,
In earthen Vases ; and (fo Rumour says)
With Liquor that was flat on common Days.





His Senses once a Lethargy oppress’d,
And strait his Heir was rifing every Chest :
But his fage Doctor, who the Crisis knew,
And long had watch'd it, to his Succour flew,
And thus awak'd him: Close beside his Bed
A Table thick with Money-bags he spread,
And various Hands employ'd to count them o'er :
Meantime he loudly cry'd, Hafte, guard your

« Store,

Left all be seiz'd by your rapacious Heir !' “ What! while I live?” • Then rouse yourself,

< beware! < And wholesome Broths by my Prescription take; 'For empty are your Veins, your Stomach weak. • Here, here, be quick, pour down this Soup of

Rice.' " The Coft ?" "A Trifle.' " I will know the

66 Price.” Eight Pence.' " From Thieves, ah! wherefore

" should I fy, “ If I by Slops, so dearly bought, must die ?"

DAM ASIPPU S. Who then are sane?


The Men who are no Fools.

DAMASIP PPUS. What Name docs he deserve, whom Avarice rules?

STERTINIU S. Madman and Fool,


Is he, who ne'er the Stain Of Avarice has incurr'd, accounted fane?

STERTINIUS. No; by no Means.


Why, Stoic?

You shall hear. This Patient's Stomach of Complaints is clear," Says 23 Craterus. “ Then may he safely rise, 66 And is he well ?” “No, no, the Doctor cries, « The Stone torments his Reins, theGout hisKnee From Perjury, from Avarice you are free: 'Tis well; a Pig then to your Lares give. But if a Dupe to rash Pursuits you live, Haste to Anticyra! By Reason's Rules, 'The Prodigal and Miser both are Fools.

Two ancient Farms that near Canusium lay. Opidius, bless’d with Riches, (so they say,) Between his Sons, while living, would divide, And wisely thus address'd them ere he died : When I have seen thee, Aulus, void of Care, In open Veft thy Nuts and Marbles bear,

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And lose, or give them to thy Fellow-Boys ; * And thee, Tiberius, careful count thy Toys, 6 And anxious hide them in some secret Place,

From hence your various Frenzies I could trace; « That one, like Nomentanus, would behave,

, • The other, like Cicuta, scrape and save. "Now therefore, by our Houshold-Gods, your Sire

Adjures thee, Aulus, to preserve entire •What he shall leave ; nor thou, Tiberius, try • O'er the wise Limits Nature sets, to fly; • Nor add to my enough, though little, more ! . Besides, lest ón Ambition's Wings you soar,

By folemn Vow, my Sons, let each be bound • With no State-Honours ever to be crown'd.

Let him who first shall break it, like the worst ! Of Citizens, be outlaw'd and accurs'd !' Would'st thou thy whole Estate, O Madman !

To have the Circus with thy Splendor grac'd,
To gain by Beans or 24 Vetches venal Praise,
And make the Fo:um at thy Statue

Stripp'd of thy Lands and Fortune ? Dost thou dare
Expect by this 25 Agrippa's Praise to share ?
The subtle Fox, with visionary State,
Affected thus the lordly 26 Lion's Gait.

27 Tell me, O Son of Atreus, tell me why To Ajax Fune:al-Honours you deny ?


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