and as for arguments for and against marriage, you have for neighbours two learned men-two philosophers-who will tell you all that can be said on the subject. As they are of different sects, you can compare their opinions of the matter. For my own part, I have already told you what I think, and I remain your most obedient. (Exit.) SGAN. He is right. I must, in my uncertainty, go and consult those men.

SCENE VI.-PANCRACE, Sganarelle.

PANC. (turning towards the side by which he entered, and without seeing SGANARELLE.) Go, my friend! You are an impertinent fellow; a man ignorant of all wholesome knowledge, and deserving of banishment from the republic of letters.

SGAN. Good! Here is one of them coming at the very nick of time.

Yes, I'll defend this proposition, calcibus, unguibus et rostro. SGAN. Mr. Aristotle, may I know what cause you have for being in such a pas sion? The best possible cause. What is it, pray?

PANC. SGAN.

PANC. An ignoramus has dared to maintain to me a proposition which is false; a hideous, frightful, execrable proposition. SCAN. May I ask what it is?

PANC. Ah! Mr. Sganarelle, everything is turned upside down in our days, and the world is fallen into general corruption. A horrible license prevails everywhere; and the magistrates who are appointed to maintain order in this kingdom ought to die of shame, for allowing such an intolerable scandal as this that I am going to tell you.*

SGAN. What can it be?

SGAN. (aside). He must have fallen out with somebody. (to PANCRACE) Sir! .

PANC. (still not noticing SGANARELLE.) You take upon yourself to argue, and you do not even understand the very elements of reason!

SGAN. (aside). His anger prevents him from seeing me. (to PANCRACE) Sir!

PANC. (still not noticing SGANARELLE). A proposition to be condemned in all the regions of philosophy!

SGAN. (aside). Somebody must have

greatly provoked him. (to PANCRACE)

PANC. (still not noticing SGANARELLE). Toto cœlo, tota via aberras.

SGAN. My humble respects, Doctor.
PANC. At
your service.

SGAN. May I...

PANC. (turning again towards the door by which he entered). Do you even know what have done? A syllogism in Ba

lordo.

you

hat?

SGAN. Eh? What?

PANC. I maintain that we should say the figure of a hat, and not the form. Forasmuch as there is this difference between the form and figure, that the form is the external disposition of animate bodies, and figure the disposition of inanimate bodies; and, since the hat is a body without life, we must say the figure of a hat, and not the form (turning again towards the door by which he entered). Yes, ignoramus that you are, it is thus you should speak, and these are the very terms of Aristotle himself in his chapter on Qualities.

SGAN. (aside). I thought that all was lost. (to PANCRACE) Mr. Doctor, pray think no more of this, I.

PANC. I am beside myself with rage. I don't know what I am doing.

SGAN. Leave the form and hat in peace. I have something to communicate to you.

I.

PANC. Impudent scoundrel!

SGAN. Calm yourself, I beg of you.
PANC. Ignorant ass!

SGAN. For mercy's sake, I

PANC. To try and force such a proposi

PANC. A proposition condemned by Aristotle.

SGAN. True. I. . .
PANC. In express terms !

SGAN. You are quite right. (turning towards the door by which PANCRACE came in). Yes, you are a fool and an impudent fellow to pretend to argue with a doctor who can read and write. (to PANCRACE) Now, there is an end of the matter, and I pray you, hear me. I come to consult you upon an affair which perplexes me greatly. I intend to take a wife to keep me company at home. The person I have chosen is handsome, well made, she pleases me greatly, and is delighted to marry me. Her father has granted her to me; but I am a little fearful of you know what-that disgrace for which a man obtains no pity—and I entreat you, as a philosopher, to tell me what you think on the subject. Now, what is your opinion?

PANC. Rather than admit that we ought to say the form of a hat, I would admit that datur vacuum in rerum natura, and that I

am an ass.

SGAN. (aside). Plague take the man. (to PANCRACE) I say, Mr. Doctor, do listen a little to what I have to say to you. I have been talking to you for the last hour, and not a word of what I want can I get out of you. PANC. I beg your pardon; a righteous indignation has taken possession of my soul. SGAN. Well, have done with all that, and take the trouble to listen to me.

PANC. Let it be so, then. What have you to say to me?

SGAN. I want to talk to you of a certain

PANC. Greek? SGAN. NO.

PANC. Hebrew?

SGAN. NO.

PANC. Syriac?
SGAN. NO.
PANC.

Turkish?

SGAN. No. PANC. Arabic?

SGAN. No, no: French, French, French, PANC. Oh! French.

SGAN.

Yes, French.

PANC. Pass to the other side, then; this ear is for all scientific and foreign languages, and the other is for the vulgar and mother tongue.

SGAN. (aside). What ceremonies these people exact!

PANC. What do you want?

SGAN. To consult you about a little difficulty.

PANC. Ah! oh! about a little difficulty in philosophy, no doubt?

SGAN. I beg your pardon, I.... PANC. Perhaps you wish to know if substance and accident are synonymous terms or equivocal with regard to entity?

SGAN. No, I do not indeed.

PANC. If logic is an art or a science? SGAN. Nothing of the kind. I.. PANC. If it has for its object the three operations of the mind, or the third only? SGAN. No. Į...

PANC. If there are ten categories, or only one?

SGAN. No, no.

PANC. If the conclusion is the essence of a syllogism?

SGAN. I tell you, no. I... . PANC. Whether the essence of good is placed in appetibility or in congruity? SGAN. No. I.

PANC. the end?

Whether good reciprocates with

SGAN. Eh! No. I....

PANC. Whether the end can affect us by its real or by its intentional being? SGAN. No, no, no, no, no, by all the devils, no.

PANC. Then you should explain your meaning, for I cannot guess it.

SGAN. I want to explain it to you, but you must listen to me. The business I want to consult you upon is this: I wish to marry a beautiful young girl. I love her dearly. I have asked her of her father; but as I dread

PANC. (speaking at the same time with

out listening to SGANARELLE). Speech was given to man to express his thoughts, and just as thoughts are the representatives of things, even so are our words representatives of our thoughts (SGANARELLE, out of patience, stops the Doctor's mouth with his hand several times. The Doctor goes on speaking each time that SGANARELLE with draws his hand); but these representatives are different from other representatives, forasmuch as the other representatives are distinguished everywhere by their originals; while speech includes its original in itself, since it is nothing else than the thought expressed by an external sign. Whence it follows that those who think well are like wise those who speak the best. Therefore, explain your thoughts to me by speech, which is the most intelligible of all signs.

SGAN. (pushing the Doctor into his house, and pulling the door to prevent his coming out). Plague take the man!

PANC. (within the house). Yes, speech is animi index, et speculum. It is the interpreter of the heart. It is the image of the soul. (He gets up to the window and goes on:) It is a mirror which reproduces plainly the innermost secrets of our individuality. Since, then, you have the faculty of reasoning, and also of speaking, what can prevent you from making use of speech to make me understand your thoughts?

SGAN. That is what I want to do, but you won't listen to me.

PANC.

I am listening; speak. SGAN. I say, then, Doctor

PANC. But, above all things, be brief.
SGAN. Certainly.

PANC. Avoid prolixity.
SGAN. I say, sir

PANC. Cut your discourse short with a laconic apophthegm.

SGAN. I. . . .

PANC. No ambages, no circumlocution. (SCANARELLE, enraged at being unable to speak, picks up stones to throw at the Doctor's head.) What! you fly into a passion instead of explaining yourself? Get along, you are more impertinent than the fellow who maintained that we ought to say the form of a hat; and I will prove to you at any time, by the help of demonstrative and convincing reasons, and by arguments in Barbara, that you are and never will be anything but a simpleton, and that I am and ever shall be, in utroque jure, the Doctor Pancrace. (Exit.) SGAN. What an eternal jabberer!

PANC. A man of sufficiency, a man of capacity (going away). A man finished in all the sciences, natural, moral, and politi cal. (coming back). A savant, savantissime, per omnes modos et casus. (going away). A man who has a knowledge superlative of fables, mythologies, and histories; (coming back) grammar, poetry, rhetoric, dialectics, and sophistry; (going away) mathematics, arithmetic, optics, oneirocritics, physics, and metaphysics; (coming back) cosmometry, geometry, architecture, speculary and speculatory sciences; going away) medicine, astronomy, astrology, physiognomy, metoposcopy, chiromancy,

geomancy.

SCENE VII.-SGANARELLE (alone).

Devil take these scholars! They will never listen to anybody. I see that it was the truth I was told, and that this Master Aristotle was a talker, and nothing else. I must go to the other; perhaps he will be reasonable. more composed and more Soho, there!

SCENE VIII-MARPHURIUS, SGanarelle. MAR. What do you want with me, Mr. Sganarelle?

SGAN. Doctor, I have need of your ad vice upon a little affair which touches me closely, and I came here for that purpose. (aside) Come, it's all right in that quarter; this one listens to what people say.

MAR. Mr. Sganarelle, please to alter your way of expressing yourself. Our philosophy commands us not to enunciate' any positive proposition, but always to speak of everything with uncertainty, and always to suspend our judgment. There fore, you should not say, "I am come," but "it seems to me that I am come." SGAN. Seems ?

MAR. Yes.

SGAN. Upon my word, it must needs seem, when it is so.

MAR. The deduction is weak; it may seem so, without the thing being really so. SGAN. What! It is not true that I am come?

MAR. It is questionable, and we should doubt everything.

SGAN. What! Am I not here, and are you not speaking to me?

MAR. It appears to me that you are here, and it seems to me that I am speaking to you, but it is not certain that it is so.

SGAN. Ah! now, come! Deuce take it! you are laughing at me. Here am I, and there you are, very plainly to be seen, and there is no seem in the matter. Pray let us drop all these subtleties, and let us talk of my business. I am come to tell you that I intend to marry.

MAR. I know nothing of the matter.
SGAN. But I tell you so.
MAR. It may happen.

SGAN. The girl I want to marry is very

young and beautiful.

MAR. It's not impossible.

SGAN. Shall I do right or wrong to marry her?

MAR. Either the one or the other.

SGAN. (aside). Hey-day! This is another tune. (to MARPHURIUS) I ask you whether I shall do well to marry the girl I tell you of?

MAR. That depends.
SGAN. Shall I do wrong?
MAR. Perhaps.

SGAN. Pray answer me in a proper

fashion.

SGAN. Correct, if you please, this way of expressing yourself. We should doubt everything; and you ought not to say that I have beaten you, but that it seems that I have beaten you.

MAR. I shall go and complain to the commissary.

SGAN. I wash my hands of it.
MAR. I have the marks on my body.
SGAN. It may be so.

MAR. It is you who treated me thus.
SGAN. It is not possible.

MAR. I shall get a warrant against you.
SGAN. I know nothing of the matter.
MAR. And you will be condemned.
SGAN. Whatever is to be, may be.
MAR. You shall see.

SCENE IX.-SGANARELLE (alone).

Did you ever see the like! I can't force one word from that cur, and I am as wise at the end of his talk as at the beginning. What ought I to do in this uncertainty about the consequences of my marriage? Never was a man more perplexed than I am.-Hallo! here are some gipsies; I must ask them to tell me my fortune.

SCENE X.-TWO GIPSIES, SGANARELLE.

(Enter the two Gipsies with their tabors, singing and dancing.)

SGAN. They look jolly! I say, you there, can you tell me my fortune?

1ST GIP. Ay, ay, my good gentleman, we two here will tell it you.

2ND GIP. You have only to give us your hand and a cross inside, and we will tell you something which will be of service to

you.

SGAN. There, you have both my hands with what you want.

1ST GIP. You have a good face, my good gentleman; a good face.

2ND GIP. Yes, a good face. The face of a man who will be something some day.

1ST GIP. You will be married soon, my good gentleman; you will be married soon. 2ND GIP. You will marry a pretty wife, a pretty wife.

1ST GIP. Yes, a wife who will be admired and loved by everybody.

2ND GIP. A wife who will bring you many friends, my good gentleman; who will bring you many friends.

2ND GIP. A wife who will get you a great reputation.

1ST GIP. Through her you will enjoy great consideration, my good gentleman; great consideration.

SGAN. All this is very well; but tell me, is there any chance of my being deceived by her?

2ND GIP. Deceived? SGAN. Yes.

1ST GIP. Deceived? SGAN. Yes. Is there any chance of my being deceived by her?

(The two Gipsies go off singing and dancing.)

SGAN. But this is not the way to answer people. Come, come; I ask you both whether I shall be deceived.

2ND GIP. Deceived? You? SGAN. Yes, yes!

1ST GIP.

You deceived?

SGAN. Yes, yes! Tell me, yes or no? (The two Gipsies go off singing and dancing.)

SCENE XI.-SGANARELLE (alone).

Plague the two baggages for leaving me in this state of doubt! But I must abso

lutely know what my marriage will bring me; and I shall, therefore, go and see that famous magician of whom everybody talks so much, and who, by his wonderful art, can show us everything we want to see. Heyday! I think, after all, I shall have no need of the magician, for here is something which will tell me all I wish to know.

(Hides.)

marriage. I don't marry the man out of love, but simply because of his wealth. I have no fortune, neither have you; and you know that without money life is dull enough. In order to get some at any cost, I seized this opportunity of improving my position; and I have done it in the hope of soon being rid of the old dotard. He will soon die ; -he has scarcely six months in him. I will warrant him dead within the time I tell you; and I shall not have long to pray Heaven for the happy state of widowhood. (She sees SGANARELLE.) Ah, we were speaking about you, and were saying the most pleasant things imaginable about

you.

LYC. Is this the gentleman DOR. Yes, this is the gentleman who takes me for his wife.

Lyc. Pray, sir, accept my most sincere congratulations on your marriage, and believe me to be your most humble servant. You are about to marry a most honourable lady, I assure you. I also congratulate you, madam, on the happy choice you have made. You could not do better, for the gentleman has all the appearance of making an excellent husband. Yes, sir, I hope you will reckon me among your friends, and allow me sometimes to come and visit you.

DOR. You do us both too much honour. shall have many opportunities of talking But come along, I am in a hurry now, and we with him by and by.

(Exeunt DORIMENE and Lycaste.)

SCENE XIII.-SGANARELLE.

thing worse. I must try to get out of this business skilfully. Hallo!

(Knocks at ALCANTOR's door.)

SCENE XIV.-ALCANTOR, SGANARELLE.