He fpied a barn-door fowl one day,
Cram'd from the rump up to the gullet,
In amorous dalliance and play
With a young pullet.
His robes and train, his fenatorial cap,
His fize almoft the fize of geefe,
Show'd that he had been nurtur'd in the lap
Of peace.
Bred for the bench and presidental chair,
He judg'd, he roofted, and digested there.
The military cock took as much pleasure
As an unlucky page,
To fee the magiftrate employ his leifure
So much below his dignity and age.
He that should fet a good example!
Be virtuous and difcreet!
To tread on modefty, and trample
Chastity beneath his feet!
Fine times, fays he, when judges run
Seducing maidens in the open fun!
This wanton fit
Comes of intemperance and over-eating;
Which, as it foon will bring you to the spit,
Shall fave your reverence from a beating.
To this reproof,
With a fly fneer, the judge replied aloof:
'Tis true, that I and all my brood,
When we have run the race affign'd,
Shall have the honour to become the food
And comfort of mankind.
An unexpected death
Shall gently steal, not force away our breath.
Good colonel, you are mightily mistaken,
It is not owing to refpect, in deed,
That you are neither boil'd, like us, with bacon,
Roafted nor fricaffeed.
But tho' your flesh be men's aversion,
Yet it contributes much to their diverfion;
They give you barley, bread, and oats,
Because they take great pleasure and delight
To fee you fight;
To fee you cutting one another's throats.
If you escape, and are not flain in war,
You are in a worse plight by far.
Amongst the hogs,
Wounded and lame, you're on a dunghill caft,
By wanton boys and puppy dogs:
Worried or teaz'd to death at last.
In France the land-tax is not as 'tis here,
A tax where you appeal and fquabble;
There the nobility go free and clear,
Like the rafcality and rabble.
The fame exemption pards and tygers own;
And the bafe polecat caught in gins:
Their flefl and bone we let alone,
And ask them nothing but their skins.
Ntereft fascinates both age and youth,
And, with a glance of her bewitching eye,
Can make a minister speak truth,
Or make a mighty monarch tell a lye.
She can fet brothers by the ears,
And, what you'll fearce believe perhaps,
Make fifters as harmonious as the spheres,
And live together without pulling caps.
'Tis fhe gives every one her place,
Oft, like a blundering marshal at a feast,
Joining a scoundrel to his grace,
An atheist to a priest.
Intereft well understood,
Made Solomon, makes Melcomb now declare That life is only good
To eat and drink, and laugh, and banish care.
Close by a kitchen fire, a dog and cat,
Each a famous politician,
Were meditating, as they fat,
Plans and projects of ambition.
By the fame fire were fet to warm
Fragments of their mafter's dinner;
Temptations to alarm
The frailty of a finner.
Clear prurient water ftream'd from Pompey's jaws, And Tabby look'd demure, and lick'd her paws; And as two plenipos,
For fear of a furprise,
When both have fomething to propose,
Examine one another's eyes;
Or like two maids, tho' fmit by different swains,
In jealous conference o'er a dish of tea,
Pompey and Tabby both, cudgell'd their brains,>
Studying each other's phyfiognomy.
Pompey, endow'd with finer fenfe,
Discover'd, in a caft of Tabby's face,
A fymptom of concupifcence,
Which made it a clear cafe.
When, ftrait applying to the dawning paffion,
Pompey addrefs'd her in this fashion:
Both you and I, with vigilance and zeal,
Becoming faithful dogs, and pious cats,
Have guarded day and night this common-weal
From robbery and rats,
All that we get for this, heaven knows,
Is a few bones and many blows.
Let us no longer fawn and whine,
Since we have talents and are able;
Let us impofe an equitable fine
Upon our master's table,
And, to be brief,
Let us each chufe a fingle difh,
I'll be contented with roast beef,
Take that turbot-you love fish.
Thus every dog and cat agrees,
When they can settle their own fees.
Thus two contending chiefs are feen,
Το agree at last in
One takes the management of the marine,
The other of the nation's treasure:
His popularity refign'd,
For a tid-bit,
A pit-tance fuited to the patriot's mind.
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