THE SPECTATOR. are such as never fail a virtuous old age. I trary character, who never thought in his In the enumeration of the imperfections and life, rallied me one day upon it, and said advantages of the younger and later years he believed I was still a virgin.' There of man, they are so near in their condition, was a young lady of virtue present, and I that, methinks, it should be incredible we was not displeased to favour the insinuation; see so little commerce of kindness between but it had a quite contrary effect from what them. If we consider youth and age with I expected. I was ever after treated with Tully, regarding the affinity to death, youth great coldness both by that lady and all the has many more chances to be near it than rest of my acquaintance. In a very little age; what youth can say more than an old time I never came into a room but I could man, He shall live until night? Youth hear a whisper, 'Here comes the maid.' A catches distempers more easily, its sickness girl of humour would on some occasion say, is more violent, and its recovery more doubt-Why, how do you know more than any of ful. The youth indeed hopes for many us? An expression of that kind was geneThe rally followed by a loud laugh. In a word, more days, so cannot the old man. youth's hopes are ill grounded; for what is for no other fault in the world than that more foolish than to place any confidence they really thought me as innocent as themupon an uncertainty? But the old man has selves, I became of no consequence among not room so much as to hope; he is still them, and was received always upon the happier than the youth, he has already en- foot of a jest. This made so strong an imjoyed what the other does but hope for. pression upon me, that I resolved to be as One wishes to live long, the other has lived agreeable as the best of the men who laughed long. But alas, is there any thing in human at me: but I observed it was nonsense for life, the duration of which can be called me to be impudent at first among those who long? There is nothing which must end, to knew me. My character for modesty was be valued for its continuance. If hours, so notorious wherever I had hitherto apdays, months and years pass away, it is no peared, that I resolved to show my new matter what hour, what day, what month, face in new quarters of the world. My first or what year we die. The applause of a step I chose with judgment; for I went to good actor is due to him at whatever scene Astrop, and came down among a crowd of the play he makes his exit. It is thus in of academics, at one dash, the impudentest the life of a man of sense, a short life is suf- fellow they had ever seen in their lives. ficient to manifest himself a man of honour Flushed with this success, I made love and and virtue; when he ceases to be such he was happy. Upon this conquest I thought has lived too long, and while he is such, it it would be unlike a gentleman to stay long is of no consequence to him how long he with my mistress, and crossed the country account of myself at that place also. At shall be so, provided he is so to his life's to Bury. I could give you a very good these two ended my first summer of gallantry. The winter following, you would wonder at it, but I relapsed into modesty upon coming among people of figure in London, yet not so much but that the ladies who had formerly laughed at me, said, 'Bless us! how wonderfully that gentleman MR. SPECTATOR,-You are frequent in is improved!' Some familiarities about the the mention of matters which concern the playhouses towards the end of the ensuing feminine world, and take upon you to be winter, made me conceive new hopes of very severe against men upon all those oc- adventures. And instead of returning the casions: but all this while I am afraid you next summer to Astrop or Bury, I thought have been very little conversant with wo-myself qualified to go to Epsom, and folmen, or you would know the generality of lowed a young woman, whose relations were them are not so angry as you imagine at the jealous of my place in her favour, to Scargeneral vices among us. I am apt to believe borough. I carried my point, and in my (begging your pardon) that you are still what I myself was once, a queer modest fellow; and therefore, for your information, shall give you a short. account of myself, and the reasons why I was forced to wench, drink, play, and do every thing which are necessary to the character of a man of wit and pleasure, to be well with the ladies. You are to know then that I was bred a gentleman, and had the finishing part of my education under a man of great probity, wit, and learning, in one of our universities. I will not deny but this made my behaviour and mien bear in it a figure of thought rather than action; and a man of a quite con third year aspired to go to Tunbridge, and in the autumn of the same year made my appearance at Bath. I was now got into the way of talk proper for ladies, and was run into a vast acquaintance among them, which I always improved to the best adyears following, I found a sober modest man vantage. In all this course of time, and some was always looked upon by both sexes as a precise unfashioned fellow of no life or spirit. It was ordinary for a man who had been drunk in good company, or passed a make a young gentleman of virtue and sense capable of discountenancing the shallow impudent rogues, that shine among the women. eyes, you will lay an obligation upon all night with a wench, to speak of it next day before women for whom he had the greatest respect. He was reproved, perhaps, with a blow of the fan, or with an 'oh fy!' but the angry lady still preserved an apparent 'Mr. Spectator, I do not doubt but you approbation in her countenance. He was are a very sagacious person, but you are so called a strange wicked fellow, a sad wretch; great with Tully of late, that I fear you will he shrugs his shoulders, swears, receives contemn these things as matters of no con another blow, swears again he did not know sequence: but believe me, sir, they are of he swore, and all was well. You might the highest importance to human life; and often see men game in the presence of wo-if you can do any thing towards opening fair men, and throw at once for more than they were worth, to recommend themselves as men of spirit. I found by long experience that the loosest principles and most abandoned behaviour, carried all before them in pretensions to women of fortune. The encouragement given to people of this stamp, made me soon throw off the remaining im- No. 155.] Tuesday, August 28, 1711. pressions of a sober education. In the abovementioned places, as well as in town, I always kept company with those who lived most at large; and in the process of time I was a pretty rake among the men, and a I HAVE more than once taken notice of an very pretty fellow among the women. I must confess I had some melancholy hours the conversation on one part is involuntary, indecent license taken in discourse, wherein upon the account of the narrowness of my and the effect of some necessary circumfortune, but my conscience at the same time gave me the comfort that I had quali-gether in the same hired coach, sitting near stances. This happens in travelling tofied myself for marrying a fortune. T. -Hæ nugæ seria ducunt "When I had lived in this manner for each other in any public assembly, or the some time, and became thus accomplished, this sort, received innumerable messages like. I have, upon making observations of I was now in the twenty-seventh year of from that part of the fair sex whose lot in my age, and about the forty-seventh of my life it is to be of any trade or public way of constitution, my health and estate wasting life. They are all, to a woman, urgent with very fast; when I happened to fall into the company of a very pretty young lady, in her me to lay before the world the unhappy own disposal. I entertained the company, reasonable liberty which is taken in their circumstances they are under, from the unas we men of gallantry generally do, with the many haps and disasters, watchings thought fit by every coxcomb who wants presence, to talk on what subject it is under windows, escapes from jealous hus-understanding or breeding. One or two of bands, and several other perils. The young these complaints I shall set down. thing was wonderfully charmed with one that knew the world so well, and talked so fine; with Desdemona, all her lover said affected her; 'It was strange, it was wondrous strange.' In a word, I saw the impression I had made upon her, and with a very little application the pretty thing has married me. There is so much charm in her innocence and beauty, that I do now as much detest the course I have been in for many years, as I ever did before I entered into it. 'MR. SPECTATOR,-I keep a coffeehouse, and am one of those whom you have thought fit to mention as an idol some time ago. I suffered a good deal of raillery upon that occasion; but shall heartily forgive you, who are the cause of it, if you will do me justice in another point. What I ask of you is to acquaint my customers (who are otherwise very good ones) that I am unavoidably hasped in my bar, and cannot help hearing the improper discourses they are pleased to 'What I intend, Mr. Spectator, by writ- entertain me with. They strive who shall ing all this to you, is that you would, before say the most immodest things in my hear you go any further with your panegyrics on ing. At the same time half a dozen of them the fair sex, give them some lectures upon loll at the bar, staring just in my face, ready their silly approbations. It is that I am to interpret my looks and gestures, accordweary of vice, and that it was not my natu- ing to their own imaginations. In this pasral way, that I am now so far recovered as sive condition I know not where to cast my not to bring this believing dear creature to eyes, place my hands, or what to employ contempt and poverty for her generosity to myself in. But this confusion is but a jest, me. At the same time tell the youth of and I hear them say in the end, with an good education of our sex, that they take insipid air of mirth and subtlety, 'Let her too little care of improving themselves in alone, she knows as well as we, for all she little things. A good air at entering into a looks so. Good Mr. Spectator, persuade room, a proper audacity in expressing him- gentlemen that it is out of all decency. Say self with gaiety and gracefulness, would it is possible a woman may be modest and No. 155.] THE SPECTATOR. yet keep a public-house. Be pleased to argue, that in truth the affront is the more unpardonable because I am obliged to suffer it, and cannot fly from it. I do assure you, sir, the cheerfulness of life which would arise from the honest gain I have, is utterly lost to me, from the endless, flat, impertinent pleasantries which I hear from morning to night. In a word, it is too much for me to bear; and I desire you to acquaint them, that I will keep pen and ink at the bar, and write down all they say to me, and send it to you for the press. It is possible when they see how empty what they speak, without the advantage of an impudent countenance and gesture, will appear, they may come to some sense of themselves, and the insults they are guilty of towards me. I am, sir, your most humble servant, 'THE IDOL.' This representation is so just, that it is hard to speak of it without an indignation which perhaps would appear too elevated to such as can be guilty of this inhuman treatment, where they see they affront a modest, plain, and ingenuous behaviour. This correspondent is not the only sufferer in this kind, for I have long letters both from the Royal and New-Exchange on the same subject. They tell me that a young fop cannot buy a pair of gloves, but he is at the same time straining for some ingenious ribaldry to say to the young woman It is no small addition who helps them on. to the calamity, that the rogues buy as hard as the plainest and modestest customers they have; besides which they loll upon the counters half an hour longer than they need, to drive away other customers, who are to share their impertinences with the milliner, or go to another's shop. Letters from 'Change-alley are full of the same evil; and the girls tell me, except I can chase some eminent merchants from their shops, they shall in a short time fail. It is very unaccountable, that men can have so little deference to all mankind who pass by them, as to bear being seen toying by twos and threes at a time, with no other purpose but to appear gay enough to keep up a light conversation of common-place jests, to the injury of her whose credit is certainly hurt by it, though their own may be strong enough to bear it. When we come to have exact accounts of these conversations, it is not to be doubted but that their discourses will raise the usual style of buying and selling. Instead of the plain downright lying, and asking and bidding so unequally to what they will really give and take, we may hope to have from these fine folks an There must exchange of compliments. certainly be a great deal of pleasant difference between the commerce of lovers, and that of all other dealers, who are, in a kind, adversaries. A sealed bond or a bank-note, would be a pretty gallantry to convey unseen into the hands of one whom a director is are still more unreasonable than those at 'MR. SPECTATOR,-I have read your " No. 156.] Wednesday, August 29, 1711. -Sed tu simul obligasti Perfidum votis caput, enitescis -But thou, When once thou hast broke some tender vow, I Do not think any thing could make a pleasanter entertainment, than the history of the reigning favourites among the women from time to time about this town. In such an account we ought to have a faithful confession of each lady for what she liked such and such a man, and he ought to tell us by what particular action or dress he believed he should be most successful. As for my part, I have always made as easy a judgment when a man dresses for the ladies, as when he is equipped for hunting or coursing. The woman's man is a person in his air and behaviour quite different from the rest of our species. His garb is more loose and negligent, his manner more soft and indolent; that is to say, in both these cases there is an apparent endeavour to appear unconcerned and careless. In catching birds the fowlers have a method of imitating their voices, to bring them to the snare; and your women's men have always a similitude of the creature they hope to betray in their own conversation. A woman's man is very knowing in all that passes from one family to another, has pretty little officiousness, is not at a loss what is good for a cold, and it is not amiss if he has a bottle of spirits in his pocket in case of any sudden indisposition. Curiosity having been my prevailing passion, and indeed the sole entertainment of my life, I have sometimes made it my business to examine the course of intrigues as well as the manners and accomplishments of such as have been most successful that way. In all my observation, I never knew a man of good understanding a general favourite; some singularity in his behaviour, some whim in his way of life, and what would have made him ridiculous among the men, has recommended him to the other sex. I should be very sorry to offend a people so fortunate as these of whom I am speaking; but let any one look over the old beaux, and he will find the man of success was remarkable for quarrelling impertinently for their sakes, for dressing unlike the rest of the world, or passing his days in an insipid assiduity about the fair sex to gain the figure he made amongst them. Add to this, that he must have the reputation of being well with other women, to please any one woman of gallantry; for you are to know, that there is a mighty ambition among the light part of the sex to gain slaves from the dominion of others. My friend Will Honeycomb says it was a common bite with him, to lay suspicions that he was favoured by a lady's enemy, that is, some rival beauty, to be well with herself. A little spite is natural to a great beauty: and it is ordinary to snap up a disagreeable fellow lest another should have him. That impudent toad Bareface fares well among all the ladies he converses with, for no other reason in the world but that he has the skill to keep them from explanation with one another. Did they know there is not one who likes him in her heart, each would declare her scorn of him the next moment; but he is well received by them because it is the fashion, and opposition to each other brings them insensibly into an imitation of each other. What adds to him the greatest grace is, that the pleasant thief, as they call him, is the most inconstant creature living, has a wonderful deal of wit and humour, and never wants something to say; besides all which, he has a most spiteful dangerous tongue if you should provoke him. To make a woman's man, he must not be a man of sense, or a fool; the business is to entertain, and it is much better to have a faculty of arguing, than a capacity of judging right. But the pleasantest of all the women's equipage are your regular visitants; these are volunteers in their service without hopes of pay or preferment. It is enough that they can lead out from a public place, that they are admitted on a public day, and can be allowed to pass away part of that heavy load, their time, in the company of the fair. But commend me above all others to those who are known for your ruiners of ladies; these are the choicest spirits which our age produces. We have several of these irresistible gentlemen among us when the company is in town. These fellows are accomplished with the knowledge of the ordinary occurrences about court and town, have that sort of good-breeding which is exclusive of all morality, and consists only in being publicly decent, privately dissolute. It is wonderful how far a fond opinion of herself can carry a woman, to make her have the least regard to a professed known woman's man; but as scarce one of all women who are in the tour of gallantries ever hears any thing of what is the common sense of sober minds, but are entertained with a continual round of flatteries, they cannot be mistresses of themselves enough to make arguments for their own conduct from the behaviour of these men to others. It is so far otherwise, that a general fame for falsehood in this kind, is a recommendation; and the coxcomb, loaded with favours of many others, is received like a victor that disdains his trophies, to be a victim to the present charmer. If you see a man more full of gesture than ordinary in a public assembly, if loud upon no occasion, if negligent of the company around him, and yet laying wait for destroy ing by that negligence, you may take it for granted that he has ruined many a fair one. The woman's man expresses himself and accomplishments. But it is not, methinks, so very difficult a matter to make a judgment of the abilities of others, especially of those who are in their infancy. My common-place book directs me on this occasion to mention the dawning of greatness in Alexander, who being asked in his youth to contend for a prize in the Olympic wholly in that motion which we call strutting. An elevated chest, a pinched hat, a measurable step, and a sly surveying eye, are the marks of him. Now and then you see a gentleman with all these accomplishments; but, alas, any one of them is enough to undo thousands; when a gentleman with such perfections adds to it suitable learning, there should be public warning of his resi-games, answered he would, if he had kings dence in town, that we may remove our wives and daughters. It happens some times that such a fine man has read all the miscellany poems, a few of our comedies, and has the translation of Ovid's Epistles by heart. Oh if it were possible that such a one could be as true as he is charming! But that is too much, the women will share such a dear false man: a little gallantry to hear him talk one would indulge one's self in, let him reckon the sticks of one's fan, say something of the Cupids in it; and then call one so many soft names which a man of his learning has at his fingers'-ends. There sure is some excuse for frailty, when attacked by such a force against a weak woman.' Such is the soliloquy of many a lady one might name, at the sight of one of those who make it no iniquity to go on from day to day in the sin of womanslaughter. It is certain, that people are got into a way of affectation, with a manner of overlooking the most solid virtues, and admiring the most trivial excellences. The woman is so far from expecting to be contemned for being a very injudicious silly animal, that while she can preserve her features and her mien, she knows she is still the object of desire; and there is a sort of secret ambition, from reading frivolous books, and keeping as frivolous company, each side to be amiable in perfection, and arrive at the characters of the Dear Deceiver and the Perjured Fair. C. I AM very much at a loss to express by any word that occurs to me in our language that which is understood by indoles in Latin. The natural disposition to any particular art, science, profession, or trade, is very much to be consulted in the care of youth, and studied by men for their own conduct when they form to themselves any scheme of life. It is wonderfully hard indeed for a man to judge of his own capacity impartially. That may look great to me which may appear little to another, and I may be carried by fondness towards myself so far, as to attempt things too high for my talents to run against him. Cassius, who was one of the conspirators against Cæsar, gave as great a proof of his temper, when in his childhood he struck a play-fellow, the son of Sylla, for saying his father was master of the Roman people. Scipio is reported to have answered, (when some flatterers at supper were asking him what the Romans would do for a general after his death,) Take Marius.' Marius was then a very boy, and had given no instances of his valour; but it was visible to Scipio from the manners of the youth, that he had a soul formed for the attempt and execution of great undertakings. I must confess I have very often with much sorrow bewailed the misfortune of the children of Great Britain, when I consider the ignorance and undiscerning of the generality of schoolmasters. The boasted liberty we talk of is but a mean reward for the long servitude, the many heart-aches and terrors, to which our childhood is exposed in going through a grammar-school. Many of these stupid tyrants exercise their cruelty without any manner of distinction of the capacities of children, or the intention of parents in their behalf. There are many excellent tempers which are worthy to be nourished and cultivated with all possible diligence and care, that were never designed to be acquainted with Aristotle, Tully, or Virgil; and there are as many who have capacities for understanding every word those great persons have writ, and yet were not born to have any relish of their writings. For want of this common and obvious discerning in those who have the care of youth, we have so many hundred unaccountable creatures every age whipped up into great scholars, that are for ever near a right understanding, and will never arrive at it. These are the scandal of letters, and these are generally the men who are to teach others. The sense of shame and honour is enough to keep the world itself in order without corporal punishment, much more to train the minds of uncorrupted and innocent children. It happens, I doubt not, more than once in a year, that a lad is chastised for a blockhead, when it is a good apprehension that makes him incapable of knowing what his teacher means. A brisk imagination very often may suggest an error, which a lad could not have fallen into, if he had been as heavy in conjecturing as his master in explaining. But there is no mercy even towards a wrong interpretation of his mean ing, the sufferings of the scholar's body are to rectify the mistakes of his mind. |