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Shall I, the Terror of this finful town,
Care, if a liv'ry'd Lord or fmile or frown?
Who cannot flatter, and deteft who can,
Tremble before a noble Serving-man?
O my fair mistress, Truth! fhall I quit thee
For huffing, braggart, puft Nobility?
Thou, who fince yesterday haft roll'd o'er all
The bufy, idle blockheads of the ball,
Haft thou, oh Sun! beheld an emptier fort,
Than fuch as fwell this bladder of a court?
Now pox on those who shew a Court in wax!
It ought to bring all courtiers on their backs :
Such painted puppits! fuch a varnish'd race
Of hollow gew-gaws, only drefs and face!
Such waxen noses, stately staring things-
No wonder fome folks bow, and think them Kings.
See! where the British youth, engag'd no more,
At Fig's, at White's, with felons, or a whole,
Pay their laft duty to the Court, and come
All fresh and fragrant, to the drawing-room;
In hues as gay, and odours as divine,
As the fair fields they fold to look so fine.
young Nobility received inftruction in those days: It was alfo cuftomary for the nobility and gentry to visit the condemned criminals in Newgate.
Their fields they fold to buy them. For a king
Those hofe are, cry the flatterers: and bring
Them next week to the theatre to fell.
Wants reach all states: me feems they do as well
At stage, as courts; all are players. Whoe'er looks
(For themselves dare not go) o'er Cheapfide books,
Shall find their wardrobes inventory. Now
The Ladies come. As pirates (which do know
That there came weak ships fraught with Cutchanel): The men board them; and praise (as they think) well,
Their beauties; they the mens wits; both are bought.
Why goods wits ne'er wear scarlet gowns, I thought
This caufe, Thefe men, mens wits for fpeeches buy,
And women buy all red which scarlets dye.
He call'd her beauty lime-twigs, her hair net :
She fears her drugs ill lay'd, her hair loofe fet d.
Wouldn't Heraclitus laugh to see Macrine
From hat to fhoe, himself at door refine,
As if the Prefence were a Mofque: and lift
His skirts and hofe, and call his clothes to fhrift,
Making them confefs not only mortal
Great ftains and holes in them, but venial
di. e. Conscious that both her complexion and her hair are borrow'd, fhe fufpects that, when, in the common cant of flatterers, he calls her beauty lime-twigs, and her bair a net.
"That's velvet for a King "the flatt'rer swears;
'Tis true, for ten days hence 'twill be King Lear's.
Our Court may juftly to our ftage give rules,
That helps it both to fools-coats and to fools.
And why not players firut in courtiers cloaths?
For these are actors too, as well as thofe :
Wants reach all states; they beg but better drest,
And all is fplendid poverty at best.
Painted for fight, and effenc'd for the smell, Like frigates fraught with spice and cochine❜l, Sail in the Ladies: how each pyrate eyes So weak a vessel, and fo rich a prize! Top-gallant he, and she in all her trim, He boarding her, she striking fail to him: "Dear Countess! you have charms all hearts to hit !" AndSweet Sir Fopling! you have fo much wit!" Such wits and beauties are not prais'd for nought, For both the beauty and the wit are bought. "Twould burft ev'n Heraclitus with the spleen, To fee those anticks, Foplin and Courtin : The Prefence feems, with things fo richly odd, The mofque of Mahound, or fome queer Pa god, See them furvey their limbs by Durer's rules, Of all beau-kind the best proportion'd fools!
to catch lovers, he means to infinuate that her colours are coarfely laid on, and her borrowed hair loosely woven, VER. 240. Durer's rules.] Albert Durer.
Feathers and duft, wherewith they fornicate:
And then by Durer's rules furvey the state
Of his each limb, and with strings the odds tries
Of his neck to his leg, and waste to thighs.
So in immaculate clothes, and Symmetry
Perfect as Circles, with fuch nicety
Preacher at his first time goes
To preach, he enters, and a lady which owes
Him not so much as good will, he arrefts,
And unto her protefts, protests, protests,
So much as at Rome would ferve to have thrown
Ten Cardinals into the Inquifition;
And whispers by Jefu so oft, that a
Purfuevant would have ravish'd him away
For faying our Lady's Pfalter. But 'tis fit
That they each other plague, they merit it.
But here comes Glorious that will plague them both,
Who in the other extreme only doth
Callja rough carelefnefs, good fashion:
Whose cloak his fpurs tear, or whom he fpits on,
He cares not, he. His ill words do no harm
To him; he rushes in, as if Arm, arm,
He meant to cry; and though his face be as ill
As theirs which in old hangings whip Christ, still
Adjust their cloaths, and to confeffion draw
Thofe venials fins, an atom, or a straw;
But oh! what terrors muft diftract the foul
Convicted of that mortal crime, a hole;
Or fhould one pound of powder lefs bespread
Those monkey tails that wag behind their head.
Thus finish'd, and corrected to a hair,
They march, to prate their hour before the Fair.
So first to preach a white-glov'd Chaplain goes, 250
With band of Lily, and with cheek of Rofe,
Sweeter than Sharon, in immac'late trim,
Neatless itself impertinent in him.
Let but the Ladies fmile, and they are bleft:
Prodigious! how the things proteft, protest:
Peace, fools, or Gonfon will for Papists feize you,
If once he catch you at your fefu! Fefu!
Nature made ev'ry Fop to plague his brother,
Juft as one Beauty mortifies another.
But here's the Captain that will plague them both,
Whofe air cries Arm! whofe very look's an oath :
The Captain's honeft, Sirs, and that's enough,
Tho' his foul's bullet, and his body buff.
He fpits fore-right; his haughty cheft before,
Like batt'ring rams, beats open ev'ry door :
And with a face as red, and as awry,
As Herod's hang-dogs in old Tapestry,
Scarecrow to boys, the breeding woman's curfe,
Has yet a strange ambition to look worse ;