But thefe punish themselves. The infolence
Of Cofcus, only, breeds my juft offence,
Whom time (which rots all, and makes botches pox,
And plodding on, muft make a calf an ox)
Hath made a Lawyer; which (alas) of late;
But scarce a Poet: jollier of this state,
Than are new-benefic'd Minifters, he throws
Like nets or lime-twigs wherefoe'er he goes
His title of Barrifter on ev'ry wench,
And wooes in language of the Pleas and Bench. **
Words, words which would tear
The tender labyrinth of a Maid's soft ear:
More, more than ten Sclavonians fcolding, more Than when winds in our ruin'd Abbyes roar. Then fick with Poetry, and poffeft with Mufe Thou waft, and mad I hop'd ; but men which chufe Law practice for meer gain; bold foul repute Worfe than imbrothel'd ftrumpets prostitute.
VER. 61. Language, which Boreas-] The Original has here a very fine ftroke of fatire.
Than when winds in our ruin'd Abbyes roar. The frauds with which that work (fo neceffary for the welfare both of religion and the state) was begun; the rapine with which it was carried on; and the diffolutenefs in which the plunder arifing from it was wasted, had scandalized all fober
One, one man only breeds my just offence;
Whom crimes gave wealth, and wealth gave Impu
Time, that at last matures a clap to pox,
Whofe gentle progress makes a calf an ox,
And brings all natural events to pass,
Hath made him an Attorney of an Ass.
No young divine, new-benefic'd, can be
More pert, more proud, more pofitive than he.
What further could I wish the fop to do,
But turn a wit, and fcribble verses too;
Pierce the foft lab'rinth of a Lady's ear
With rhymes of this per cent. and that per year?
Or court a Wife, fpread out his wily parts,
Like nets or lime-twigs, for rich Widows hearts;
Call himself Barritter to ev'ry wench,
And wooe in language of the Pleas and Bench? 6.
Language, which Boreas might to Auster hold
More rough than forty Germans when they scold.
Curs'd be the wretch, fo venal and fo vain :
Paltry and proud, as drabs in Drury-lane.
'Tis fuch a bounty as was never known,
If PETER deigns to help you to your own :
What thanks, what praife, if Peter but fupplies,
And what a folemn face if he denies!
men; and disposed the best Proteftants to with, that some part of that immense wealth, arifing from the fuppreffion of the Monafteries, had been referved for Charity, Hofpitality, and even for the public fervice of Religion.
Now like an owl-like watchman he must walk,
His hand still at a bill; now he must talk
Idly, like prifoners, which whole months will fwear,
That only furetyship hath brought them there,
And to every fuitor lye in every thing,
Like a King's Favourite-or like a King.
Like a wedge in a block, wring to the barre,
Bearing like affes, and more shameless farre
Than carted whores, lye to the grave Judge; for
Baftardy abounds not in King's titles, nor
Simony and Sodomy in Church-men's lives,
As these things do in him; by these he thrives.
Shortly (as th' fea) he'll compass all the land,
From Scots to Wight, from Mount to Dover strand.
And fpying heirs melting with Luxury,
Satan will not joy at their fins as he :
For (as a thrifty wench scrapes kitchen-stuffe,
And barrelling the droppings, and the snuffe
Of wafting candles, which in thirty year,
Reliquely kept, perchance buys wedding chear)
Piecemeal he gets lands, and spends as much time
Wringing each acre, as maids pulling prime.
In parchment then, large as the fields, he draws
Affurances, big as glofs'd civil laws,
Grave, as when pris'ners shake the head and fwear
'Twas only Suretiship that brought 'em there.
His Office keeps your Parchment fates entire,
He ftarves with cold to fave them from the fire;
For you he walks the ftreets thro' rain or duft,
For not in Chariots Peter puts his truft;
For you he sweats and labours at the laws,
Takes God to witness he affects your cause,
And lies to ev'ry Lord in ev'ry thing,
Like a King's Favourite-or like a King.
These are the talents that adorn them all,
From wicked Waters ev'n to godly
Not more of Simony beneath black gowns,
Not more of bastardy in heirs to Crowns,
In fhillings and in pence at first they deal;
And fteal fo little, few perceive they steal;
Till like the Sea, they compafs all the land,
From Scots to Wight, from Mount to Dover strand :
And when rank Widows purchase luscious nights,
Or when a Duke to Jansen punts at White's,
Or City-Heir in mortgage melts away;
Satan himself feels far less joy than they.
Piecemeal they win this acre first, then that,
Glean on, and gather up the whole estate.
Then ftrongly fencing ill-got wealth by law,
Indentures, Cov'nants, Articles they draw,
Large as the fields themselves, and larger far
Than Civil Codes, with all their Gloffes, are;
So huge that men (in our times forwardness)
Are Fathers of the Church for writing less.
These he writes not; nor for these written payes,
Therefore fpares no length (as in those first dayes
When Luther was profeft, he did defire
Short Pater-nafters, faying as a Fryer
Each day his Beads; but having left those laws,
Adds to Chrift's prayer, the power and glory clause)
But when he fells or changes land, h'impaires
The writings, and (unwatch'd) leaves out, ses heires,
As flily as any Commenter goes by
Hard words, or sense; or, in Divinity
As controverters in vouch'd Texts, leave out Shrew'd words, which might against them clear the doubt.
Where are these spread woods which cloath'd heretofore
Those bought lands? not built, not burnt within door.
VER. 104. So Luther, etc.] Our Poet, by judiciously transpofing this fine fimilitude, has given luftre to his Author's thought. The Lawyer, (fays Dr. Donne) enlarges the legal inftruments for conveying property to the bigness of glofs'd civil Laws, when it is to fecure his own ill-got wealth. But let the fame Lawyer convey property for you, and he then omits even the neceffary words; and becomes as concise and hafty as the loofe poftils of a modern Divine. So Luther while a Monk, and, by his Inftitution, obliged to fay Mafs, and pray in Perfon for others, thought even his Pater nofter too long. But when he fet up for a Governor in the Church, and his bufinefs was to direct others how to pray for the fuccefs of his new Model; he then lengthened the Pater-nofter
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