new way of writing. But you must know, Sir, that, to out-do all my fellow-Writers, whereas they keep their Intrigo fecret till the very laft Scene before the Dance; I now, Sir, do you mark me-▬▬▬a SMI. Begin the Play, and end it, without ever opening the Plot at all? BAYES. I do fo, that's the very pluia troth on't: ha, ha, ha; I do, I gad. If they cannot find it out themselves, e'en let 'em alone for Bayes, I warrant you. But here, now, is a Scene of business: pray obferve it; for I dare fay you'l think it no unwife difcourse this, nor ill argu'd. To tell you true, 'tis a Debate I over-heard once betwixt two grand, sober, governing perfons. Ufh. SCENA IV. Enter Gentleman- Usher and Phyfician. Ome, Sir; let's ftate the matter of fact, and lav our heads together. Phys. Right: lay our heads together. I love to be merry fometimes; but when a knotty point comes, I lay my head close to it, with a pipe of Tobacco in my mouth, and then I whew it away, i'faith. BAYES. I do juft fo, I gad, always. Uh. The grand question is, whether they heard us whisper? which I divide thus: into when they heard, what they heard, and whether they heard or no. JOHNS. Moft admirably divided, I swear. Ush. As to the when; you fay just now: so that is answer'd. Then, for what; why, what answers it self: for what could they hear, but what we talk'd of? So that, naturally, and of neceffity, we come to the last queftion, Videlicet, whether they heard or no? SMI. This is a very wife Scene, Mr. Bayes. 1 Such eafy Turns of State are frequent in our Modern Plays; where we fee Princes Dethron'd and Governments Chang'd, by very feeble Means, and on flight Occafions: Particularly, in Marriage-a-la-Mode; a Play, writ fince the first Publication of this Farce. Where (to pafs by the Dulness of the State-part, the Obscurity of the Comic, the near Resemblance Leonidas bears to our Prince Pretty-Man, being fometimes a King's Son, fometimes a Shepherd's; and not to question how Almalthea comes to be a Princess, her Brother, the King's great Favourite, being but a Lord) 'tis worth our While to observe, how easily the Fierce and Jealous Ufurper is Depos'd, and the Right Heir plac'd on the Throne; as it is thus related by the 1aid Imaginary Princess. Enter Amalthea, running. Amal. Oh, Gentlemen, if you have Loyalty, Or Courage, fhew it now: Leonidas Broke on the fudden from his Guards, and fnatching A Sword from one, his back against the Scaffold, Bravely defends himself; and owns aloud He is our long loft King, found for this moment Two of his Guards, mov'd by the sense of Virtue, [J. DRYDEN.] Marriage-a-la-Mode. Act v. Sc. i. p 61. Ed. 1691. This fhows Mr. Bayes to be a Man of Conftancy, and firm to his Refolution, and not to be laugh'd out of his own Method: Agreeable to what he says in the next Act. * As long as I know my Things are Good, what care Iwhat they say?' . . . Key 1704. * P. 71. ... 2 (a) Ormafdes. I know not what to fay, nor what to think! I know not when I fleep, or when I wake. Sir W. KILLIGREW. Ormajdes, or Love and Friendship. Act v. p. 77. [Licensed 22 Aug. 1664]. Ed. 1665. (b) Pandora. My doubts and fears, my reason does dismay, I know not what to do nor what to say; Sir W. KILLIGREW. Pandora, or The Converts. Act v. p. 92. Ed. 1665. BAYES. Yes; you have it right: they are both Polititians. I writ this Scene for a pattern, to shew the world how men fhould talk of bufinefs. JOHNS. You have done it exceedingly well, indeed. BAYES. Yes, I think this will do. Phys. Well, if they heard us whisper, they'l turn us out, and no bodie else will take us. Ush. No bodie else will take us. SMI. Not for Polititians, I dare answer for it. Ush. 'Tis right: And, fince occasion now seems debonair, I'l feize on this, and you shall take that chair. They draw their Swords, and fit down in the two great chairs upon the Stage. BAYES. There's now an odd furprise; the whole State's turn'd quite topfi-turvy,' without any puther or ftir in the whole world, I gad. JOHNS. A very filent change of Government, truly, as ever I heard of. BAYES. It is fo. And yet you fhall fee me bring 'em in again, by and by, in as odd a way every jot. [The Ufurpers march out flourishing their fwords. Enter Shirley. Shir. Hey ho, hey ho: what a change is here! Hey day, hey day! I know not what to do, nor what to say.2 Exit. SMI. But pray, Sir, how came they to depose the Kings fo eafily? BAYES. Why, Sir, you must know, they long had a lefign to do it before; but never could put it in practice till now: and, to tell you true, that's one reason why I made 'em whisper so at first. SMI. O, very well: now I'm fully fatisfi'd. BAYES. And then, to fhew you, Sir, it was not done so very easily neither; in this next Scene you shall see fome fighting. SMI. O, ho: fo then you make the ftruggle to be after the business is done? Enter four men at one door, and four at another, with I Soldier. their fwords drawn. Tand. Who goes there? 2 Sol. A friend. I Sol. What friend? 2 Sol. A friend to the House. I Sol. Fall on. [They all kill one another. Mufick frikes. BAYES. Hold, hold. [To the Mufick. It ceafeth. Now here's an odd furprise: all these dead men you fhall fee rise up presently, at a certain Note that I have made, in Effaut flat, and fall a Dancing. Do you hear, dead men? remember your Note in Effaut flat. Play on. [To the Mufick. Now, now, now. The Mufick play his Note, and the dead men rife; but cannot get in order. Out, out, out! Did ever men spoil a good thing fo? no figure, no ear, no time, no thing? you dance worse than the Angels in Harry the Eight, or the fat Spirits in The Tempest, I gad. I Sol. Why, Sir, 'tis impoffible to do any thing in time, to this Tune. BAYES. O Lord, O Lord! impoffible? why, Gentlemen, if there be any faith in a person that's a Chriftian, I fate up two whole nights in compofing this Air, and apting it for the business: for, if you observe, |