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er, under domestic trials, the nature of which, though not indicated, appears to have caused her bitterness of soul, he was, eminently, "a son of consolation." To other members of the family he strove to be useful. The eye, that could penetrate the walls of his chamber, might have seen him conducting a younger brother to the throne of grace, kneeling with him before the mercy-seat, and interceding with God for his salvation. He encountered a journey for the express purpose of visiting an early friend, of whose piety he had once some hope, but who, he feared, had now become indifferent to the one thing needful that he might know his state and encourage him to seek that good part, which could not be taken from him. And so much were his benevolent feelings drawn forth towards the inhabitants of his native town, that he spared no suitable exertions for their spiritual good. A revival of religion among them was the subject of fervent prayer; and in the same object he endeavored to enlist other Christians. He procured, through the agency of his mother, the institution of a weekly meeting of female members of the church, for united prayer that the work of God might be revived. In short, so far was he from being bound up in self, that he exerted himself for the good of others in such ways, as were proper for one in a state of pupilage.
Even in the most distressing parts of his experience, there are discoverable those characteristics, which distinguish it from the torturing convictions of the unrenewed soul. If he is in " a sullen, stupid frame," it is not without some melting desires after God." If he is well nigh "overcome by temptation," it is that he may rejoice the more at his deliverance, when God gives him the victory.' If he is discouraged because of the difficulties of the way, and the small progress which he makes,' just as 'all hope seems departing, the fire burns within him.' Uniformly, his war is with himself, and not with his God. And if, to prevent the night watches, that he might meditate in God's word; if, to love the habitation of his house, and the place where his honor dwelleth; if, to account himself and all things else, as nothing for Christ's sake; if, to know in whom he has believed, and to draw near to him in full assurance of faith; if, to be satisfied as with
marrow and fatness, while remembering God and meditating on him in the night-watches; if, to prevent the dawning of the morning by the cries of prayer; if, to prefer Jerusalem above one's chief joy-are scriptural marks of piety; then is his placed beyond suspicion. All these, and more, will be recognized in the extracts from his journal, with which this chapter concludes.
Sept. 29.-Had a most transporting view of God's glory as consisting in pure holiness. I rejoiced greatly, that he reigned, and could exalt his own glory. Henceforth, I will not doubt of my character; for I know, yea, assuredly know, that I love God, my Saviour, and holi
"Oct. 19. Sabbath.-Rose with thoughts of God on my mind. Was exceedingly assisted in secret, and in family prayer. Never had my desires and affections so much drawn out after God and holiness. Was filled with the gracious influences of the Spirit, so that I rejoiced with joy unspeakable and full of glory. Never did earth appear so small, heaven so desirable, the Saviour so precious, holiness so lovely, God so glorious, as now. reading the scriptures, they seemed to open with a clearness and force, which delighted and astonished me. Such a sweet, calm, soul satisfying joy I never felt before, in so great a degree. Nothing on earth seemed worth a serious thought, but to glorify God. Had much of the same temper through the day. Was more assisted at meeting than ever before. In the evening had a clearer sense of the evil of sin, a greater hatred of it, and more fixed resolutions against it, than ever. This has been by far the most profitable and blessed day to my soul, that I ever experienced. God be praised!
"Oct. 25.-Was much depressed with a view of the numerous enemies which oppose my journey heavenward. Had a faint glimpse of Christ, as able to carry me through in spite of all. Never before had such a clear idea of the passage-If the righteous scarcely are saved. Seemed to be plunged in a bottomless ocean of sin and corruption, from which no efforts of my own could free me.
"Nov. 2.-Sacramental Sabbath. Blessed be God, who has caused his loving kindness to appear. Enjoyed
much assistance in family and secret prayer. Was enabled to drag my sins to Christ, beseeching him to slay them for me. Afterwards, enjoyed great sweetness in meditation. Was preserved, in some measure, from wandering thoughts, at meeting. Had a profitable, though not a very happy time at communion. After meeting, was favored with considerable liberty in family and secret devotions.
"Nov. 10-Had petitioned, last night, that I might awake at a given hour; my petition was granted,* and I was assisted in prayer. Felt my dependance on God for strength. Was surprisingly favored all day. Was in a sweet, humble frame. I admired and loved the work, which Christ had wrought in my heart by his Spirit, just as I should have admired it in any other. My faith seemed to be unusually strong, able to grapple with any thing. I felt all day, that I depended entirely on Christ for the continuance of my strength.
"Nov. 18.-After retiring to rest, last night, was favored with an extraordinary display of divine grace. I rejoiced that the Lord reigned, that Jesus was exalted far above principalities and powers. I was permitted to approach very near him; and to plead with much confidence and earnestness for myself and others. Waked several times in the night, in the same frame. In the morning, was favored with still clearer views, and more near access to my Saviour, and rejoiced with joy unspeakable and full of glory. Could not find words to utter my praises for such goodness. Had, too, a most humiliating view of my own vile and odious nature.
Referring to an alternative, which might affect his temporal comfort merely, and not his usefulness, Mr. Payson somewhere says "I would not degrade prayer so much, as to make it the subject of a petition." Those who think he here forgets his own maxim, should know, that the loss of his morning hours was followed by a day of comparative uselessness and misery. It is, however, our shame, that the standard of personal piety should now render necessary an apology for such childlike simplicity in the devotions of a man of his acknowledged magnanimity. In nothing does he appear more worthy of imitation, than in his constant recognition of a superintending Providence, and in, literally, acknowledging God in all his ways.
"Nov. 19.-My gracious God is still loading me with his unmerited goodness. His mercies follow each other, as wave follows wave, and the last seems ever the greatThis morning I seem to enjoy the happiness of hea
"Nov. 21.-Resolved to spend this day in fasting and prayer for greater measures of grace, and assistance to render me more humble and concerned for God's glory; for more love to God and his people, and for ministerial qualifications. After seeking the divine presence, for which I was enabled to plead with great earnestness, and a feeling sense that I could do nothing without it, I endeavored to recollect, and confess my sins. I saw myself exceedingly vile, seemed the chief of sinners, to be worse than the evil spirits, and thought that the lowest place in - hell was my due. * * * * I felt the most ardent desire for God's glory, and was willing to be a stepping-stone, or any thing, however mean, to promote it. To be a fellowlaborer with Christ, in the glorious work of bringing souls to him, seemed to be the most delightful and honorable of all offices; and in this service I felt willing to spend and be spent ; to suffer pain, contempt, and death itself. Felt a most intense love for Christ's people, and was willing to be below them all.
"Nov. 26.—As soon as I awoke, felt my soul go forth in longing after more holiness, and promised myself much comfort in prayer. But my Lord withdrew himself, and I could do nothing. Felt convinced that it was a dispensation of love for my good.
"Nov. 29.-Never was enabled to plead with such earnestness and submission before. My mouth was filled with arguments, and I seemed to have both my Saviour and the blessed Spirit go with me, and plead for me at the throne of grace. Was favored with a clear view of my Saviour's beauty and holiness, and of the scheme of salvation by him. What a glorious design, and how worthy of its author.
"Dec. 1.-Favored with an uncommon spirit of prayer. Saw that, as a member of Christ, I might pray with as much certainty of being heard, as Christ himself. Was enabled to plead his merits, sufferings, death, God's gra
cious promises, what he has already done for me, the operations of his own Spirit, and his own conduct in hearing others as reasons why he should hear me. *** Was graciously assisted in pleading, till I received an answer of peace. Was most sweetly melted with a view of the love of the blessed Trinity, displayed in the work of redemption, and the vile, ungrateful returns I had made.
"Dec. 5.-Felt a free persuasion, that my present dark, comfortless state is only designed for good, to teach me humility, dependance, and weanedness from the world; and if it has this effect, I welcome it with joy.
Dec. 6.-All my proud and selfish feelings seemed to be annihilated. I saw and rejoiced, that Jesus had no need of me, and that he would be praised by others, if not by me, to all eternity; and, provided he could be glorified, I cared not how, or by whom. How sweet, to have pride and self subdued!
"Dec. 9.-Determined to spend this day in fasting, and prayer for myself and the advancement of religion in this place. Had great and special assistance, last evening, and now, in pleading for the outpouring of the Spirit here, and for help in the duties before me. After thinking over my manifold transgressions, my sins against light and love, and confessing them,-I attempted to plead my Saviour's death and righteousness for pardon and reconciliation. I could not obtain it, but was for three hours in great perplexity and distress, and was more than once on the point of giving up in despair. However, I was enabled to continue reading the Scriptures and praying till afternoon, when the cloud dispersed, and my Saviour shone out brighter than ever before. How did my soul rejoice, and plead for sanctifying grace! Was exhausted and worn out, but continued praying, or trying to pray, till night.
Dec. 16.-Was enabled to realize, for the first time in my life, what Christ suffered, and for what a wretch he suffered. Was so overwhelmed with the view, that I could not, for some time, shed a tear. O, how hateful did sin appear!
Dec. 17.-Was much assisted in writing on Christ's passion.