Magazine; Colburn's I haven't had time to look at. Phrenology flourishes. Went to a lecture yesterday on the subject. Facetious artist the Professor ;-never saw a man misguide himself more ingeniously. Bit of a rogue, tooDoesn't trust to the " art," where data are to be had; and tells (like the gyp sies) a pleasant story to all comers. Hoaxed him amazingly myself. Sure I had the organ of "oppositiveness." Shewed me Hume's head (in plaster) and found all qualities becoming a man most prominent in it. Near making a horrible mistake towards the end. Shewed us Dr. Dodd's head, and Mrs M'Kinnon's-such skulls could only gravitate towards the gallows. Felt inspired with science myself; and was just going to point out the same peculiarity in a boy's head that stood near.It was his son's !-Came away for fear of tempting Providence. Nothing more I believe that I had to say-only take care of the Moselles. The very smell of those empty casks would intoxicate the whole presence of Cockaigne! Called in on Parson Irving since my return. He draws still; but the matter gets weaker and weaker. London horridly dirty, and M'Adamizing getting on very fast. So no more (at present,) from yours, (Blackwood's Magazine.) P ANECDOTE OF J. ELWES, ESQ. When Mr. Elwes was at Marcham, two very ancient maiden ladies, in his neighbourhood, had for some neglect incurred the displeasure of the spiritual court, and were threatened with immediate excommunication. The whole import of the word they did not perfectly understand, but they had heard something about standing in a church, and a penance; and their ideas immediately ran upon a white sheet. They concluded, if they once got into that, it was all over with them; and as the excommunication was to take place the next day, away they hurried to Mr. Elwes, to know how they could make submission, and how the sentence might be prevented. No time was to be lost. Mr. Elwes did that which, fairly speaking, not one man in five thousand would have done he had his horse saddled, and putting, according to usual custom, a couple of hard eggs in his pocket, he set out for London that evening, and reached it early enough the next morning to notify the submission of the culprit damsels. Riding sixty miles in the night, to confer a favour on two antiquated virgins, to whom he had no particular obligation, was really what not one man in five thousand would have done; but where personal fatigue could serve, Mr. Elwes never spared it. The ladies were so overjoyed-so thankful-so much trouble and expense! What returns could they make? To ease their consciences on this head, an old Irish gentleman, their neighbour, who knew Mr. Elwes's mode of travelling, wrote these words: " My dears, is it expense you are talking of? send him sixpence, and he gains twopence by the journey!" A CONNOISSEUR IN CATS. Died 1791, in Southampton-row, Bloomsbury, Mrs. Gregg, a maiden lady, between fifty and sixty years of age, remarkable for her benevolence to cats, no fewer than eighty being entertained under her hospitable roof, at the time of her decease, at an allow ance of near a guinea a week. She was in affluent circumstances; and on the death of a sister, receiving an addition to her income, she set up her coach; but suffered no male servant to sleep in her house. Her maids being such a numerous household, she was frequently tired of their attendance on reduced at last to take a black woman to attend upon and feed them. This is a second instance of an extraordinary attention to the feline race among us. The other was a person of property, of the name of Norris, at Hackney, who, from the multitude of cats assembled under his hospitable roof, acquired the name of Cat Norris. The attachment of the Mahometans to cats is well known. "Amidst their disregard to the human species in their hospitals, Mr. Howard found an asylum for cats."-Aikin's Life of Howard, p. 159. See also, in Picart's Religious Ceremonies, vol. vii. p. 97, a Portrait of an Albanian Cat-feeder. The Egyptians also held the cat in great veneration. A mummy of a young Egytian princess was lately brought to Bruges, and an embalmed cat was found in the same case with the lady. "Who rules o'er freemen should himself be free." Then turning to Dr. Johnson, who happened to be present, he said,— "What think you of that, sir?"— "Rank nonsense," replied Johnson, sarcastically, "it is an assertion without a proof, and you might with as much propriety say, "Who slays fat oxen should himself be fat.” DOOR. THE VENERABLE SPORTSMAN. An ancestor of the celebrated Mr. Calonne, was remarkable for his attachment to the sports of the field, and for preserving his vigour and strength, both of mind and body, to an advanced period of his life. At the age of 85, ONE SCRAPER ENOUGH AT A he used constantly every day to take the exercise of riding. A friend, one morning in the autumn, met him on horseback, riding very fast, "Where are you going in such a hurry this morning?" enquired the gentleman. Why, sir," replied the other facetiously, "I am riding after my eightyfourth year. Foote used to tell a story of once meeting 'an Irishman comparing his watch by St. Paul's, and then bursting into a fit of laughter. Being asked what he laughed at, he replied: "And how can I help it? when here is my little watch, that was made by Paddy O'Flaherty on Ormond Quay, and which only cost me five guineas, has beat your big London clock there a full hour and a half since yesterday morning." THE DIAMOND. Alphonso, King of Arrogan, was one day admiring the different articles in his jeweller's shop, with many of his favourite women: he had scarcely left the shop, when the jeweller missed a diamond of great value, and ran after him, complaining of the theft. The king, not willing publicly to disgrace any of his attendants, commanded a large basin full of sand to be brought him, into which he made each of his women put her hand, clenched, and draw it out flat; by this means the diamond was left in the sand, unknown by whom. DR. JOHNSON AND THE An eminent carcass butcher, as meagre in his person as he was in his understanding, being one day in a bookseller's shop, took up a volume of Churchill's Poems, and by way of One time, a bad fiddler came to beg at the door of the facetious Foote, and in order to earn the mite, and excite attention, struck up a jig, which Foote hearing, he gave the fellow a shilling, desiring him to go about his business"for," said Foote, "one scraper is enough at a door," GAMING. "The vice of gaming," says a writer in 1788," which has been carried in this country lately to a height never before known, seems to branch out into every possible shape of hazard. The nobility game with dice, the ladies with cards, the linen-drapers with bills,-the lower class with lottery tickets, or numbers, and the consequences are proportioned to the quality of the gamblers-being in four wordssuicide, adultery, bankruptcy and the gallows." THE KISS. A country girl in Lombardy, running after her she-ass, which was in haste to get up to her food, passed a gentleman on the road, who, seeing her to be very buxom, and having a mind to be witty, called out, "Whence do you come from, sweetheart?" "From Villejuiff," said she. "From Villejuiff!" exclaimed the gentleman; " and do you know the daughter of Nicholas Gullot, who lives there?" "Very well," said the lass. "Be so kind then," said he, 66 as to carry her a kiss from me," at the same instant throwing his arms round her neck, he was about to salute her. "Hold, Sir," cried the girl, disentangling herself from his arms," since you are in such a hurry, it will be better to kiss my ass, for she will be there before me?" Youth is the vision of a morn, Which rude winds sweep away. Tis like the charming hue that glows It is the image of a sky In glassy waters seen, But when the winds begin to roar, 'Tis like the dying tones that flow That veers before the crimson storm, Tis fleeting as the passing rays That gild the pole with sudden blaze And tender as the filmy threads, From flow'r to flow'r Arachne spreads It is the morning's gentle gale, But soon the gathering tempests pour, The gale becomes the whirlwinds roar, Youth's joys are bright as new-born day EPIGRAMS FROM THE GERMAN. THE TWOPENNY BAG. Whereat the gentleman began to stare "My friends," he cried, "" p-x take you for your care."-Pope. We are sorry that " A Reader"-should have had reasons for becoming "A Writer;"-but he has shewn cause, and we will in future endeavour to spare his ink and our pockets. "Arise my fair! and let us stray "Where Spring's soft gales 'mong woodlands play," Says our friend "H"-but his wanderings have already been so irregular, that we cannot countenance him. He was unfortunate in his subject-perhaps his graphic descriptions may be more to the purpose. "There is nae luck about the house"-and we lament to add, that unless our friend Giles will furnish us with a second copy, his letter is lost in toto. "Buff" is a discoloured dog, who has no more idea of writing verses in praise of the fair than a young Buffalo! We should not be surprised to see bim at St. Luke's the next time we call. Contributions (post paid) to be sent to the Editor, at the Publishers. THE HOUSE OF COMMONS. THAT part of the house to the right of the Speaker is called the ministerial side of the house; that on his left, the opposition side. The bench on the floor, close to the Speaker's right, extending from his chair to the division in the centre, is known by the appellation of "the Treasury Bench," on which his Majesty's ministers usually take their seats. The bench on the opposite side is occupied by the leaders of the opposition. The seats are covered with green leather cushions. The floor is of plain oak, and the parts contiguous to the benches, on which the feet of the members rest, are covered with rush matting. An agreeable temperature is preserved through the house by means of flues, which pass under the floor, and which disseminate heat through brass gratings, placed in convenient situations. 1. This represents the principal door of entrance to the body of the house: it leads directly from the lobby, which we have already described. It is a folding door, one half of which only is opened, except on particular occasions, such as the entrance and departure of the Speaker-the entrance and departure of messengers from the Lords, &c. 3. The mace. When the house resolves into a committee, the mace is removed into a space prepared for it under the table. The Speaker then leaves the chair, and the chairman of committees takes his seat at the table. When the house resumes, it is the duty of the Serjeant-at-Arms to replace the mace on the table. 4. These three figures represent the clerks of the house. Their duty is to take the minutes of the proceedings of the house, which are subsequently transcribed and entered upon the Journals, or otherwise disposed of, as circumstances may demand. It is their province also to read petitions, and to prepare transcripts of such questions as it may become the duty of the Speaker to submit to the house. 5. The strangers' gallery, devoted-ontirely to the accommodation of strangers. This gallery is computed to afford ac commodation to about one hundred and fifty persons. From this gallery females are excluded by a standing order. In front of the gallery is the house clock. These 6. The members' galleries. galleries are provided with double rows of seats. On a call of the house, or when an important discussion attracts a numerous attendance of members, these galleries are completely filled. Members sometimes speak from thence, but this does not often occur. 7. The seats here described, and which are immediately under the strangers' gallery, are devoted to the reception of Peers of the other house, who may feel desirous of being present at the discussion in this-to the foreign ambassadors to the sons of members, and to some of the Westminster boys, who are entitled to this privilege. Members also occasionally introduce their friends here. 8. This is the situation of the bar of the house. When persons appear at the bar with papers, or for other pur. poses, a sliding bar is drawn across the space which is here observed. 10. This small door is for the exclusive accommodation of the reporters for the public press. 13. The lustre. This is composed of brass, and consists of three rows of branches, in each of which is a wax candle. 15. This figure is meant to represent the situations in which particular members of the opposition and ministerial parties generally take their seats. This figure is intended for Sir James Mackintosh. 27. Mr. Canning. It may here be interesting to state the origin of this building, and to explain that its walls have not at all times resounded to the thunders of political discussion. At an early period of its history it was devoted to religious purposes, and was known under the title of St. Stephen's Chapel, by which even in modern days it is occasionally described. The form of the edifice, in fact, in a great measure stamps its early character. On being viewed by a stranger, for the first time, it presents precisely the appearance of a chapel. |