the assurance to be of a different opinion, and cried out silence, and obliged us to attend whether we would or not. I think that playhouses should be built with nothing but boxes: I, who make it a rule never to do any thing that I am desired, was determined not to listen to a word of the play, though there were some very moving things in it, so I reconnoitered the house, casting glances into the pit to see if my charms would not mollify the brutes. The Templar was then one of the ring-leaders, but when his eye caught mine he disappeared. Soon after, I saw him enter the boxes full dressed, aping the air of a courtier, and looking like country John in his new livery. I took no notice of himI sought for higher game-Sir Charles Brilliant was the man. Alas! poor Barbara, I believe I have undone all those spells which Mrs. Cheat'em made such a profit of. The Templar, which is his vulgar name, nettled at my neglect, assumed a domineering air, and joined his low allies in the pit in enforcing silence. Sir Charles resisted this; and, as Mincing says, "I verily thought they must have fit." I sat serene amid the storm; but at last the confusion became so intolerable, and the gallery people so abusive, that we were fain to retreat to our chairs. Intending to call in just for a minute at Mrs. Manille's, I had such a charming run of luck, that I could not leave the dear table until four o'clock in the morning. I suspect that Sir Charles lost on purpose, for he became very free in his speech as if he had purchased the right. My service to you, Sir Charles, I am more secure of your money than you are of my favour. Mrs. Carmine certainly cheats I saw her slip a card: really the men drank so much wine, and grew so careless, that it was a temptation one could hardly resist. I did not know whether I did or not. Came home in a very good humour, but almost stunned by Frippery's news. P- did meet her in Spring-garden, professed the warmest love. Oh the perfidious, the base, the deceitful devil! perjured, perjured man! I begin to hate Frippery; she could not get away she says, without promising another interview. To be taken by such a mawkin, owing every attraction to my cast clothes. I'll be revenged, whatever it may cost-friends, fortune, reputation-nothing is too

great a sacrifice. Tumbled and tossed all night-full of rage and despairquarrelled with all my tradespeoplewhat a time to send in their bills: look frightful-nothing becomes me: surely I have not grown old and ugly in one night-Returned from Richmond, coquetted the whole way with Lord Worthless, would not so much as speak, or look at P-; found fault with the whole entertainment, though, to say the truth, nothing could have been more elegant; called the music discord, and would not permit it to play; then complained of dullness; told Lord Worthless that things would have been different if he had had the management, and that few people knew how to give a treat; my lord was abominably tipsy, and ill behaved; came home displeased with myself, and all the world, for P-looked uncommonly handsome, and endured all my impertinence with the most gentlemanly forbearance. Oh, heaven! what shall I do? What have I done? I shall go distracted!-Frippery has confessed such a plot; she calumniated P-. Barbara Lovelace, and Lady B- at the bottom of it; only because I told the story of the lame hip, and drew Sir Charles away from his true love. Frippery found a light guinea among the gold lace which Lady B- had bribed her with, shabby creature; and Barbara's yellow tabinet so faded and full of holes, that it would neither turn or dye; so in a fit of remorse she betrayed the whole; I believe I beat her; I would have turned the jade out of doors, but she is unfit, and knows all my secrets; so I made it up by giving her my pink negligée, and I shall take care never to believe another word she says, I am determined to brave the matter out, and bring P.- upon his knees before I'll confess myself to blame, though, to have made sport for my enemies, almost kills me with vexation; they shall not see it. Was dressed for the ball with even more than usual care! Lord! here's that scandalous fellow Gossip, full of news. Sir Charles and the Templar have fought. Well, what do I care; there would be a fop and a pedant less in the world if both were killed. I don't know that I had much to do in the business, except just egging on Sir Charles to say the most cutting things. Worse, and worse, another horrid duel, P- and Lord Worthless; P. dangerously wounded, I fainted away at the

intelligence; grew delirious; nothing shall prevent me from going to him, confessing all my follies, and receiving his last forgiveness:-he will die, I am sure he will die. I wish there was a convent in England, and that I had taken the veil. Frippery tells me that she thinks I have been too hasty in confessing my faults: none so very heinous, upon consideration, particularly as it was only a flesh wound after all. But then my reputation might have suffered if I had not been reconciled to P-, for I would not marry my Lord for the whole universe: and P. looked so divine in his robe de chambre, and his arm bound with a scarf. He made hard terms with me, though would not trust me in town during his necessary absence; and the only proof I could give of my sincerity, as he was very hard of belief, as well he might, was to banish myself at my cousin's in the 'country; and must I go? Oh, odious, odious trees!

ANECDOTE OF JAMES DUKE OF YORK, SECOND SON OF CHARLES I.

The Duke of York, it is said, one day told the King his brother, that he had heard so much of old Milton, he had a great desire to see him. Charles told the Duke, that he had no objection to his satisfying his curiosity; and accordingly shortly after, James, having informed himself where Milton lived, went privately to his house. Being introduced to him, and Milton being informed of the rank of his guest, they conversed together for some time; but, in the course of their conversation, the Duke asked Milton, "Whether he did not think the loss of his sight was a judgment upon him for what he had written against the late King his father?" Milton's reply was to this effect: If your Highness thinks that the calamities which befall us here, are indications of the wrath of Heaven, in what manner are we to account for the fate of the King your father? The displeasure of Heaven must, upon this

supposition, have been much greater against him than against me; for I have only lost my eyes, but he lost his head.' The Duke was exceedingly nettled at this answer, and went away soon after very angry. When he came back to the court, the first thing he said to the King, was, 66 Brother, you are greatly to blame that you don't have that old rogue Milton hanged."Why, what's the matter, James?' said the King, you seem in a heat! what, have you seen Milton?-"Yes," answered the Duke, "I have seen him." 'Well,' said the King, In what condition did you find him?'-"Condition!" replied the Duke, 66 why he's old, and very poor."- Old and poor!' said the King; well, and he is blind, is he not?'-"Yes," said the Duke, "blind as a beetle."- Why then you are a fool, James,' replied the King, to want to have him hanged as a punishment: to hang him will be doing him a service; it will be taking him out of his miseries. No, if he is old, poor, and blind, he is miserable enough in all conscience: let him live.'

A NOVEL WEDDING. Dean Swift one day walking, as was his custom, from London towards Chester, is said to have taken shelter from a summer tempest under a large spreading tree by the road side, not far from Lichfield. Presently a man, together with a woman who seemed to be pregnant, availed themselves of the same covert. Entering into conversathat they were on the way for Litchtion with them, Dean Swift learned field to be married. As the situation of the lady indicated that no time ought to be lost, the dean proposed to save them the rest of the journey, by uniting them on the spot. The offer was gladly accepted, and after having they were about to depart, as the sky expressed their thanks to Dean Swift, brightened; but the bridegroom suddenly recollecting himself, that a certificate would be necessary to authenticate their marriage, he begged the dean would give him one. The dean taking out his pencil, wrote it in the following terms:

Under an oak, in stormy weather,
I joined this rogue and whore together:
And none but he who rules the thunder
Can part this rogue and whore asunder.

THE LADLE AND BOWL.

A man was brought before Lord Mansfield, when on the home circuit, who was charged with stealing a silver ladle. In the course of the evidence, the counsel for the crown was rather severe.upon the prisoner for being an attorney. "Come, come," said his lordship in a whisper to the counsel, "don't exaggerate matters; if the fellow had been an attorney, depend upon it he would have stolen the bowl as well as the ladle.

A SMART REPROOF.

It is related of a dissenting minister, who resided the greater part of his days in the city of Norwich, (a wag in his turn) that as he was in the midst of a discourse, he perceived one of his congregation fast asleep just under his pulpit-raising his voice to its highest pitch, he suddenly exclaimed, "Fire! fire! fire!" The offender awaking, as suddenly jumpt up, crying in his turn, "Where? where? where?" "In hell for sleepers!" was the reproof.

THE NON-PAYMENT OF THE CIVIL LIST.

George the Second, once, in a great rage, sent for Mr. Pelham, then minister, to demand a reason why the civil list was not paid. The minister replied, "The money destined for that purpose had been appropriated to another use, more urgent." His majesty, with an oath, told him, that if he did not pay it, he must get another minister who would; "I will not," added the king, "be the only gentleman in the kingdom who does not pay his servants' wages when due."

NOTHING TO BOAST OF.

ANECDOTE OF BURNS.

Once on a time, when the poet Burns dined with a party of friends at Glasgow, among the company was a Mr. Barton, a dandy of that day, both in dress and language, his constant expressions being "D-n my eyes! D-n my blood!" Burns had frequently been requested to write an epitaph for him, but declined the task, till Barton one day adding his own entreaty, Burns drew forth his pencil and wrote the following:

"Here cursing, swearing, Barton lies;
A beau, a buck, or d-n my eyes!
Who in his life did little good,
And his last,words were-'d-n my blood!"

ANECDOTE OF A MISER.

A miser having lost an hundred pounds, promised ten pounds reward to any who should bring it him. An honest poor man, who found it, brought it to the old gentleman, demanding the ten pounds. But the miser, to baffle him, alledged that there was a hundred and ten pounds in the bag when lost. The poor man, however, was advised to sue for the money; and, when the cause came on to be tried, it appearing that the seal had not been broken nor the bag ript, the judge said to the defendant's counsel, "The bag you lost had an hundred and ten pounds in it, you say," "Yes, my Lord," says he: "Then," replied the judge," according to the evidence given in court, this cannot be your money: for here are only an hundred pounds: therefore the plaintiff must keep it till the true owner appears."