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Whipping, that's Virtue's governels,
Tutrefs of arts and sciences,

That mends the grofs miftakes of Nature,
And puts new life into dull matter,
That lays foundation for renown,
And all the honours of the gown :
This fuffer'd, they are fet at large,
And freed with hon'rable difcharge;
Then, in their robes, the penitentials
Are ftraight presented with credentials,
And in their way attended on
By magiftrates of ev'ry town;
And all refpect and charges paid,
They're to their ancient feats convey'd.
Now if you'll venture, for my fake.
To try the toughness of your back,
And fuffer (as the reft have done)
The laying of a whipping on,
(And may you profper in your fuit,
As you with equal vigour do't)
I here engage myself to loofe
And free your heels from caperdewfie.
But fince our fex's modefty
Will not allow I fhould be by,
Bring me on oath, a fair account,
And honour too, when you have don't;
And I'll admit you to the place
You claim as due in my good grace.
If matrimony and hanging go
By deft'ny, why not whipping too?
What med'cine elfe can cure the fits
Of lovers when they lofe their wits?
Love is a boy, by poets ftyl'd,
Then spare the rod, and spoil the child.

ye,

A Perfian emp'ror whipp'd his grannam, The fea, his mother Venus came on; And hence fome rev'rend men approve Of rosemary in making love. As skilful coopers hoop their tubs With Lydian and with Phrygian dubs, Why may not whipping have as good A grace, perform'd in time and mood, With comely movement, and by art, Raise paffion in a lady's heart? It is an cafier way to make Love by, than that which many take. Who would not rather fuffer whippin, Than fwallow toaft of bits of ribbin? Make wicked verfes, treats, and faces, And fpell names over, with beer-glaffes? Be under vows to hang and die Love's facrifice, and all a lie? With china-oranges and tarts, And whining plays, lay baits for hearts; Bribe chambermaids with love and money, To break no roguifh jefts upon ye? For lilies limn'd on cheeks, and rofes, With painted perfumes hazard nofes

Or, vent'ring to be brisk and wanton,
Do penance in a paper lantern ?
All this you may compound for now,
By fuff'ring what I offer you;
Which is no more than has been done
By knights for ladies long agone.
Did not the great La Mancha do fo
For the Infanta Del Tobolo?

Did not th' illuftrious Baffa make
Himfelf a flave for Miffe's fake,
And with buil's pizzle, for her love,
Was taw'd as gentle as a glove?
Was not young Florio fent (to cool
His flame for Biancafiore) to school,
Where pedant made his pathic bum
For her fake fuffer martyrdom?
Did not a certain lady whip,
Of late, her hufband's own lordship?
And though a grandee of the House,
Claw'd him with fundamental blows;
Ty'd him ftark-naked to a bed-poft,
And firk'd his hide, as if the 'ad rid post;
And after in the Seffions court,
Where whipping's judg'd, and honour for't
This fwear you will perform, and then
I'll fet you from th' inchanted den,
And the Magician's circle, clear.

Quoth he, I do profefs and swear,
And will perform what you enjoin,
Or may I never fee you mine.

Amen, (quoth the) then turn'd about,
And bid her Squire let him out.
But e'er an artist could be found
T' undo the charms another bound,'
The fun grew low and left the skies,
Put down (fome write) by ladies' eyes.
The moon pull'd off her veil of light,
That hides her face by day from fight,
(Mysterious veil, of brightnefs made,
That's both her luftre and her fhade)
And in the lantern of the night,
With fhining horns hung out her light;
For darkness is the proper sphere
Where all falfe glories ufe t' appear.
The twinkling ftars began to muster,
And glitter with their borrow'd luftre,
While fleep the weary'd world reliev`d,
By counterfeiting death reviv'd.
His whipping penance, till the morn,
Our vot'ry thought it beft t' adjourn,
And not to carry on a work
Of fuch importance in the dark,
With erring hafte, but rather stay,
And do't in th' open face of day;
And in the mean time go in queit
Of next retreat to take his reft

Mm jij

HUDI BRAS.

IN THREE PART S.

PART II. CANTÓ IL.

The Argument

The Knight and Squire, in hot disputer
Within an ace of falling out,

Are parted with a fudden fright
Of strange alarm, and ftranger fight;
With which adventuring to stickle,
They're fent away in nafty pickle.

Tis range how fome men's tempers fuit
(Like bawd and brandy) with difpute,
That for their own opinions ftand fast
Only to have them claw'd and canvaft;
That keep their confciences in cafes,
As fiddlers do their crowds and bafes;
Ne'er to be us'd, but when they're bent
To play a fit for argument;
Make true and false, unjuft and just,
Of no use but to be difcuft;
Difpute, and fet a paradox,
Like a ftrait boot, upon the ftocks,
And stretch'd it more unmercifully

Than Helmont, Montaigne, White, or Tully.
So th' ancient Stoics, in their porch,

With fierce difpute maintain'd their church,
Beat out their brains in fight and study,
To prove that virtue is a body,
That bonum is an animal,

Made good with ftout polemic brawl;
In which fome hundreds on the place
Were flain outright, and many a face
Retrench'd of nofe, and eyes, and beard,
To maintain what their feet averr'd.

All which the Knight and Squire, in wrath,
Had like t' have fuffer'd for their faith;
Each ftriving to make good his own,
As by the fequel fhall be fhewn.

The fun had long fince, in the lap

Of Thetis, taken out his пар,

And like a fobfter boil'd, the morn
From black to red began to turn;

When Hudibras, whom thoughts and aking

'Twixt fleeping kept, all night, and waking,
Began to rub his drowsy eyes,
And from his couch prepar'd to rife,
Refolving to dispatch the deed

He vow'd to do with trufty speed:

But first, with knocking loud, and bawling,
He rous'd the Squire, in truckle lolling:
And after many circumftances
Which vulgar authors in romances
Do use to spend their time and wits on
To make impertinent defcription,
They got (with much ado) to horse,
And to the caftle bent their courfe,
In which he to the dame before
To fuffer whipping-duty swore :

Where now artiv'd, and half unharnest,
To carry on the work in earnest,

He ftopp'd, and paus'd upon the fudden,
And with a ferious forehead plodding,
Sprung a new fcruple in his head,
Which firft he fcratch'd, and after faid;
Whether it be direct infringing

An oath, if I fhould wave this fwinging,
And what I've fworn to bear forbear,
And fo b' equivocation fwear;

Or whether 't be a leffer fin

To be forefworn, than act the thing,
Are deep and fubtle points, which must,
To inform Confcience, be discuit;

In which to crr a title may
To errors infinite make way:
And therefore I defire to know
Thy judgment e'er we further go.
Quoth Ralpho, fince you do enjoin 't,
I fhall enlarge upon the point;
And, for my own part, do not doubt
Th' affirmative may be made out.
But first, to ftate the cafe aright,
For beft advantage of our light;
And thus 'tis; Whether 't be a fin
To claw and curry your own fkin,
Greater or lefs, than to forbear,
And that you are forfworn forfwear.
But first, o' th' first: The inward man,
And outward, like clan and clan,
Have always been at daggers drawing,
And one another clapper-clawing;
Not that they really cuff or fence,
But in a spiritual mistic fenfe;
Which to mistake, and make 'em squabble
In literal fray, 's abominable:
'Tis Heathenish, in frequent use
With Pagans and apoftate Jews,
To offer facrifice of bridewells,
Like modern Indians to their idols;
And mongrel Chriftians of our times,
That expiate lefs with greater crimes,
And call the foul abomination
Contrition and mortification.

Is 't not enough we're bruis'd and kicked,
With finful members of the Wicked;
Our veffels, that are fanctify'd,
Profan'd and curry'd back and fide;
But we muft claw ourfelves with fhameful
And Heathen stripes, by their example?
Which (were there nothing to forbid it)
Is impious because they did it;
This therefore, may be justly reckon'd
A heinous ún. Now to the fecond;
That Saints may claim a difpenfation
To fwear and forfwear on occafion,
I doubt not but it will appear
With pregnant light: the point is clear.
Oaths are but words, and words but wind;
Too feeble implements to bind;
And hold with deeds proportion, fo
As fhadows to a fubftance do.

Then when they ftrive for place, 'tis fit
The weaker vellel fhould fubmit.

Although your Church be oppofite
To ours, as black friars are to white,
In rule and order, yet I grant
You are a Reformado Saint;
And what the Saints do claim as due,
You may pretend à title to:

But Saints, whom oaths and vows oblige,
Know little of their privilege;
Further (I mean) than carrying on
Some felf-advantage of their own:
For if the Devil, to ferve his turn,

Can tell truth, why the Saints fhould fcorn
When it ferves theirs, to fwear and lie,

I think there's little reafon why:
Elfe he 'as a greater power than they,
Which 't were impiety to fay.
We're not commanded to forbear,
Indefinitely, at all to swear;
But to fwear idly and in vain,
Without felf-intereft or gain:
For breaking of an oath and lying
Is but a kind of felf-denying,

A faint-like virtue; and from hence
Some have broke oaths by Provid.nce *:
Some, to the glory of the Lord,
Perjur'd themfelves, and broke their word:
And this the conftant rule and practice

Of all our late apoftles' acts is.
Was not the caufe at first begun
With perjury, and carry'd on?
Was there an oath the godly took,
But in due time and place they broke?
Did we not bring our oaths in first,
Before our plate, to have them burst,
And caft in fitter models, for
The prefent ufe of Church and War?
Did not our worthies of the house,
Before they broke the peace, break vows?
For having freed us, firft from both
Th' alleg'ance and fuprem'cy oath,
Did they not next compel the nation,
To take, and break the proteftation;
To fwear, and after to recant,
The Solemn League and Covenant?
To take th' engagement, and disclaim it,
Enforc'd by thofe who firft did frame it?
Did they not fwear, at first, to fight
For the king's fafety, and his right?
And after march'd to find him out,

And charg'd him home with horfe and foot;
But yet ftill had the confidence

To fwear it was in his defence?

Did they not fwear to live and die
With Effex, and straight laid him by?

46

*When it was first moved in the Houfe of Commons to proceed capitally against the King, Cromwell stood up and told them, That if any man inoved this with de"gn, he thould think him the greatest traitor in the "world; but fince Provid nce and neceffity had call them upon it, he thould pray to God to bless their counfels." And when he kept the King clofe prifoner in Carisbrook Cafile, contrary to vows and proteftations, he affirmed, The Spirit would not let him keep his word." And when, contrary to the public faith, they murdered lin they pretended they could not retiit the motions of the Spirit.

Mmj

352

If that were all, for fome have swore
As falfe as they if they did no more.
Did they not fwear to maintain Law,
In which that fwearing made a flaw?
For Proteftant religion vow,
That did that vowing difallow?
For Privilege of Parlament,

HUDIBRA S.

In which that fwearing made a rent?
And fince, of all the three, not one
Is left in being, 'tis well known.
Did they not fwear in exprefs words,
To prop and back the House of Lords?
And after turn'd out the whole houfeful
Of Peers, as dang'rous and unuseful.
So Cromwell, with deep oaths and vows,
Swore all the Commons out o' th' Houfe;
Vow'd that the Redcoats would difband,
Ay, marry would they, at their command;
And troll'd them on, and fwore, and swore,
'Till th' army turn'd them out of door.
This tells us plainly what they thought,
That oaths and fwearing go for nought,
And that by them th' were only meant
To ferve for an expedient.

What was the public faith found out for,
But to flur men of what they fought for?
The public faith, which ev'ry one
Is bound t' obferve, yet kept by none;
And if that go for nothing, why
Should private faith have fuch a tie?
Oaths were not purpos'd, more than law,
To keep the good and juft in awe,
But to confine the bad and finful,
Like mortal cattle in a pinfold.

A Saint's of th' heav'nly realm a Peer;
And as no Peer is bound to fwear,
But on the gofpel of his honour,
Of which he may difpofe, as owner,
It follows, though the thing be forg'ry,
And falfe, t' affirm it is no perj'ry,
But a mere ceremony, and a breach
Of nothing but a form of speech,
And goes for no more when 'tis took,
Than mere faluting of the book.
Suppofe the Scriptures are of force,
They're but commiffions of courfe;
And faints have freedom to digrefs,
And vary from 'em, as they please;
Or misinterpret them by private
Inftructions to all aims they drive at.
Then why should we ourfelves abridge,
And curtail our own privilege?
Quakers (that, like to lanterns, bear
Their light within 'em) will not fwear;
Their gofpel is an accidence,
By which they conftrue confcience,
And hold no fin fo deeply red,
As that of breaking Prifcian's head,
(The head and founder of their order,
That ftirring hats held worfe than murder)
Thefe thinking they're oblig'd to troth
In fwearing, will not take an oath;
Like mules, who, if they've not their will
To keep their own pace, ftand stockfill:

But they are weak, and little know
What freeborn confciences may do.
'Tis the temptation of the devil
That makes all human actions evil;
For Saints may do the fame things by
The Spirit, in fincerity,

Which other men are tempted to,
And at the devil's inftanse do,
And yet the actions be contrary,
Juft as the Saints and Wicked vary.
For as on land there is no beast
But in fome fish at fea's expreft;
So in the wicked there's no vice
Of which the Saints have not a spice;
And yet that thing that's pious in
The one, in th' other is a fin.

Is 't not ridiculous and nonfenfe,
A Saint fhould be a flave to Confcience,
That ought to be above fuch fancies,
As far as above ordinances?
She's of the wicked, as I guefs,

B' her looks, her language, and her drefs=
And though, like conftables, we fearch
For falfe wares one another's church;
Yet all of us hold this for true,
No faith is to the wicked due.
The truth is precious and divine,
Too rich a pearl for carnal fwine.

Quoth Hudibras, All this is true;
Yet 'tis not fit that all men knew
Thofe myfteries and revelations;
And therefore topical evafions

Of fubtle turns and fhifts of fenfe,
Serve beft with th' wicked for pretence,
Such as the learned Jefuits ufe,
And Presbyterians, for excufe
Against the Proteftants, when th' happen
To find their churches taken napping :
As thus: A breach of oath is duple,
And either way admits a fcruple,
And may be x parte of the maker,
More criminal than the injur'd taker;
For he that ftrains too for a vow,
Will break it, like an o'erbent bow:
And he that made, and forc'd it, broke it,
Not he that for convenience took it,
A broken oath is, quatenus oath,
As found t' all purposes of troth,
As broken laws are ne'er the worse,
Nay, till they're broken, have no force.
What's juftice to a man, or laws,
That never comes within their claws?
They have no pow'r, but to admonish;
Cannot control, coerce, or punith,
Until they're broken, and then touch
Thofe only that do niake 'em fuch.
Befide, no engagement is allow'd
By men in prifon made for good;
For when they're fet at liberty,
They're from th' engagement too fet free.
The Rabbins write, When any Jew
Did make to God or man a vow,
Which afterwards he found untoward,
And ftubborn to be kept, or too hard,

Any three other Jews o' th' nation
Might free him from the obligation:
And have not two Saints pow'r to use
A greater privilege than three Jews?
The court of Confcience, which in man
Should be fupreme and foveran,
Is't fit fhould be fubordinate
To ev'ry petty court i' th' State,
And have lefs power than the lesser,
To deal with perjury at pleasure ?
Have its proceedings difallow'd, or
Allow'd at fancy of pie-powder ?
Tell does, or does not know,
or fwearing ex officio?

But forc'd t' impeach a broken bedge,
And pigs unfring'd at vif. franc. pledge?
Discover thieves, and bawds, recufants,
Priests, witches, avefdroppers, and nuisance;
Tell who did play at games unlawful,
And who fill'd pots of ale but half-full;
And have no power at all, nor fhift,
To help itself at a dead lift?

Why fhould not confcience have vacation

As well as other courts o' th' nation;
Have equal power to adjourn,
Appoint appearance and return;
And make as nice diftinction ferve
To fplit a cafe, as thofe that carve,
Invoking cuckolds' names, hit joints?
Why should not tricks as flight do points?
Is not the high court of justice sworn.
To judge that law that ferves their turn?
Make their own jealoufics high treason,
And fix 'em whomfoe'er they please on?
Cannot the learned counsel there
Make laws in any fhape appear?
Mould 'em as witches do their clay,
When they make pictures to destroy,
And vex 'em into any form
That fits their purpose to do harm?
Rack 'em until they do confefs,
Impeach of treason whom they please,
And most perfidiously condemn
Thole that engage their lives for them?
And yet do nothing in their own sense,
But what they ought by oath and confcience.
Can they not juggle, and with flight
Conveyance play with wrong and right;
And fell their blafts of wind as dear,
As Lapland witches bottled air?

Will not Fear, Favour, Bribe, and Grudge,
The fame cafe fev'ral ways adjudge?
As feamen with the felf-fame gale,
Will fev'ral diff'rent courfes fail;
As when the fea breaks o'er its bounds,
And overflows the level grounds,

Thofe banks, and dams, that, like a screen,
Did keep it out, now keep it in;
So when tyrannical' ufurpation
Invades the freedom of a nation,

The laws o' th' land, that were intended
To keep it out, are made defend it.
Does not in Chanc'ry ev'ry man fwear
What makes best for him in his anfwer?

Is not the winding up witneffes,

And nicking, more than half the bus'nefs?
For witneffes, like watches, go

Juft as they're fet, too faft or flow,
And where in confcience they're strait lac'd,
'Tis ten to one that fide is caft.

Do not your juries give their verdict
As if they felt the caufe, not heard it?
And as they please make matter o' fact
Run all on one fide, as they're packt?
Nature has made man's breaft no windores,
To publish what he does within doors;
Nor what dark fecrets there inhabit,
Unless his own rath folly blab it.
If oaths can do a man no good
In his own bus'nefs, why they fhou'd,
In other matters do him hurt,

I think there's little reafon for 't.
He that impofes an oath makes it,
Not he that for convenience takes it:
Then how can any man be faid

To break an oath he never made?
These reasons may perhaps look oddly

To th' wicked, though they evince the godly;
But if they will not ferve to clear
My honour, I am ne'er the near.
Honour is like that glaffy bubble,
That finds philofophers fuch trouble,
Whofe leaft part crackt, the whole does fly,
And wits are crackt to find out why.

Quoth Ralpho, Honour's but a word.
To fwear by only in a lord:

In other men 'tis but a huff

To vapour with, inftead of proof,
That, like a wen, looks big and fwells,
Infenfelefs, and just nothing else.
Let it (quoth he) be what it will,
It has the world's opinion ftill.
But as men are not wife that run
The flightest hazard they may fhun,
There may a medium be found out
To clear to all the world the doubt;
And that is, if a man may do 't,
By proxy whipt, or fubftitute.

Though nice and dark the point appear,
(Quoth Ralpho) it may hold up and clear.
That finners may fupply the place
Of fuff'ring faints, is a plain cafe.
Juftice gives fentence many times
On one man for another's crimes,
Our brethren of New England ufe
Choice malefactors to excufe,
And hang the guiltlefs in their ftead,
Of whom the churches have lefs need;
As lately 't happen'd: In a town
There liv'd a cobler, and but one,
That out of doctrine could cut ufe,
And mend men's lives, as well as fhoes.
This precious brother having flain,
In times of peace, an Indian,
Not out of malice, but mere zeal,
(Because he was an Infidel)
The mighty Tottipottymoy
Sent to our elders an envoy,

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