Here end the Axioms; then follows

Chap. xi. De arte legatoriâ, or the
Art of Embay.

Mercurius dulcis, was one of the A archelt Wags that ever was fent of an Errand; but a notorious Filcher; and had certainly loft his Place, had not fome of his Superiors gone halves with him. If ever he got a Finger into a Pie, he generally fcoop'd out the Meat and Under-cruft, leaving it fair to the Eye as before.

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with a Gnat; yet several of his Prede ceffors and Succeffors could easily swallow Camels.

There were excellent Politicians, Embaffadors, Ministers of State in the Auguftan Age. Tho' Mecenas was much inferior to Sir James Baker, late Knight of the Spur. A very little learning in a great Man, is ftill magnified by his Parafites. The little Pains fuch a one now and then takes, (of which the greatest is the telling of Money,) are rewarded with pompous Affluence; and the Fatigue foon washed away with Burgundy and Champagne. Whilft all the immenfe Labour I have undergone C in compiling this Treatife can scarce fecure me a Bottle of muddled Port. But how will our great, great, great Grand Children's great, great Grand Children in the Year 3000, lift up their Hands in Amazement, that Ï ́ John Gabriel was not made Prime Minifter to the ftiff, starch'd Potentate of Greenland !—I'll proceed no farther. I don't speak or write for every body. What! hall the Town pretend to fee thro' a Man's Words and Writings; fince the chief End of both is rather E to conceal than explain one's Meaning? Were that the Cafe, a Man would hate every Letter in the Alphabet, as cordially, as fome Patriots do an R and a W. Some whimsical Perfons, indeed imagine the Nation would be happy, if every Man had a Window (as the Diffenters faid) to his Conscience, and every Woman a Padlock on her

Some may object, that the Kingdom of Utopia was never baked in an Oven, and therefore the Simile fails. Granted-Suppofe then it be compared to a Hodge-pot, as Ld Coke has it, confifting of Meat, Pudding, &c. Suppofe this flirred with a long Pole, the Plumbs would fink to the Bottom, where the experienc'd Pole-man would fecure the greatest Share to himself, allowing his Companions a few now D and then to please them, There was one, a fhort, fquat Man, he would not fuffer to come near; who in great Indignation, would every now and then hold up his Ladle; but the political Stirrer knowing his Adverfary's Ladle too short to reach him, laugh'd heartily. I don't condemn HORACE'S Rifum teneatis, or dulce ridentem, as being falfe Latin.

But we forget Ambaffador Mercury; who was a Pimp as well as a Plenipo. But, had Ampbytrion been able to de- F tet Jupiter, and bring him coram nobis into Westminster-ball, fo that a Middlefex Jury might have given Verdict against him, Olympus mult have been mortgaged, or his Godfhip have fcampered away incog. as did Card. Cofcia, the Duke Riperda, &c.

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It requires great Addrefs to manage
State Affairs dextroufly in foreign Na-
tions; the Tempers of the Court La-
dies, as well as the Gentlemen, are to
be diligently studied. Some Politicians
will cut one's Throat with a Feather. H
Every Traveller who has been at Rome
has not ftudied in the Vatican Library.
And the Fope Adrian was choaked

Mind, as Pryor has it. But I am of a different Opinion, fince this would make the Ladies fole Managers of foreign, as well as domeftick Affairs, which are at prefent chiefly under their Direction.

Free Biton, Jan. 25. No. 175. Confiderations occafion'd by the Craftfman on EXCISES. T HE Pamphet under this Title being the most worthy Notice of any yet publifh'd, Walfingham gives us the following Extracts from it.

The

1

The nearer the Duty upon any Commodity is paid to the Time of Confumption, the Confumer may be afforded that Commodity the cheaper; A and as the Confumer pays all Taxes, in that Respect the Tax itself is leffened by being collected as an Excise; the Inconveniences of which however are fo great, that the Design of a General Excife could never be entertain'd by any Man.

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Plantations fo as almoft to put us in the fame Condition with the Portuguefe. The leaft Encouragement that fhould be given to this Trade, is to allow alfo all the Duty to be drawn back upon Exportation.

As to Wine, there is a Compofition fo called, and fold for fuch, which has not in it one Drop of the Juice of the Grape. With what Art and Dexterity do they work it up to Strong, Deep, Fref, and fit for Battling? The Duty on Wine being paid at the Port upon Importation, this Liquid, which was never perhaps out of the Cellar where it was fold, efcapes Duty-free; and the Vender faves the Duty, as a kind of Bounty, for difpenfing Wine of their own making. When a Vintner fails, his Wine is often fold for less than the Duty, tho' as found and good as ever. By the propofed Method, D nothing will be drank as Wine, but what is Wine; it must all pafs through the Merchant's Hands, and he will find a Benefit in being eafed of the Payment of the Duties, which must now be paid perhaps a Year or two before the Wine is fit for Sale. The Alteration of the Duty on Coffee, Tea, and Chocolate, has been attended with a Gain to the Publick of near 100,000l. per An. What might be farther fav'd by this mean, would be a vaft Eafe to the Nation.

But the Tobacco Trade has been found liable to fo great Frauds in the Discounts and Drawbacks, that 'tis impoflible to remedy them, but by fome Alteration in collecting the Duty; the fair Trader fuffers, the fraudulent is enriched. The Duty upon the Importation of Tobacco at the Port, which muft be immediately paid, or bonded, all Discounts deducted, is 5 d. and a Fraction per lb. The Merchant gives Credit to the Retailer, both for the Duty, and the clear Coft of the Commodity. How many Merchants and their Bondsmen have been ruin'd by this Credit which they are obliged to give, the clear Coft of the Commodity being but two sevenths of it. Tobacco is one of our chief Commodities, and fhould be encourag'd. The French have large Plantations of it in Orange, and prohibit the Importation of it from hence. The Dutch have planted it in Guelderland. About 9 Years fince the Parliament allowed the whole Duty to F to be drawn back upon Exportation ; but this does not answer the End.

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We have lately had Accounts of the fad Diftrefs of the Tobacco Planters in Maryland. This was partly brought on them by their Factors being oblig'd G to advance Money for the Duties at the Importation; of which grievous Charge they will be eas'd, when the Method of collecting the Duty is chang'd to Excife, and our Ports will then be as Free Ports for that Commodity.

How melancholy is the State of the Sugar Trade! we firft gain'd it, by the Portuguese being obliged to relinquish 1 The French have extended their

With Regard to Liberty, if a Government is free, and the Laws are fuffer'd to take their Course, Taxes will be raised according to Law, and without Oppreflion or Favour. In Holland Exciles are paid, and the People are free. Would France be free, were there no Excifes? Are we lefs free now Excises are paid, than in the Reign of K. Charles I. when there were no Excises?

The Audito?, Jan. 26. No. 6. H Nula venenato eft litera miffa jovo. Ovid.

Since

Ince my Appearance in the World, I have received feveral Letters recommending different Subjects to my Confideration, One advifes me to be

very fatyrical; another acquaints me, that one valuable Quality of my Writings is, that they reflect on Nobody; a third is mightily pleas'd with A my Paper mark'd No. IV. Hillaria writes me word fhe is in Love with Frank Eafy; Melia hopes the Auditor will give her a Hearing in Things relating to the Beau Monde ; Mrs Cicely, who keeps her Father's Books, having thrown away a little Money, defires I would audit ber Accompts, fo as to blind the old Gentleman.

Mr. Auditor.

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§ I am a plain honest Man, and have to my Wife a handfome young Woman, who fings, dances, talks French, C and is perfectly well-bred. But there's an impudent young Dog, who frequents my House (as he frankly tells me) only because I have a pretty Wife; and indeed, the Liberties he takes with her makes me believe him. Now, Sir, D ought I not to forbid him my Houfe? Jacob Meanwell. I advife him not, till he fees how Mrs Meanwell will relifh the Publication of this; if fhe has any Love for honeft Jacob, or Regard for her own E Reputation, fhe will fave him the Trouble; in the mean time, whenever Mrs Meanwell goes beyond the Bounds of a Cheapfide Wife, let him repeat to himfelf the following Speech of Othello ;

Yours,

-'Tis not to make me jealous,
To lay my Wife is fair, feeds well, loves Company,
is free of Speech, figs, plays, and dances well;
Where Virtue is, these are most virtuous.

Friend AUDITOR,

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For as much as thou fetteft up for a Reformer of Manners, I advise thee, that thou derideit not the Brethren, nei- G ther holdeft the meek in Scorn; and if thou intendest to be fatyrical, to chufe proper Objects, and ridicule them with Difcretion, Good-nature, and Humanity. Be not vain when thou art commended, neither angry when reproved; for one deftroyeth itfelf, the other fheweth, thon deferveft Reproof, but haft not Senfe to bear it. If thou art as thou feemeft to be, thou wilt animadvert on the Scorn Men of thy Per

H

fuafion make of the Habit of the Friends: Thou knoweft the Corn of the Fields is not fo beautiful as the Butter-flower, neither the Pomegranate fo alluring to the Eye as other Fruits: nevertheless, the Corn of the Fields is more useful than the Butter-flower, and the Infide of the Pomegranate more delicious than that of other Fruits. I

reft thy loving Friend, Ephraim Plain.

There is nothing more ftupid than to make a Jeft of the Habit of this fet of People. Would they turn the Raillery upon us, they might do it with much more Reafon; the Variety of Fashions that annually fucceed each other, being a plain Indication of a Levity of Mind we can't charge them with.

The next is the Petition of Heliogabalus, fetting forth, that the Petitioner his a downright English Stomach, but can never appeafe his Hunger, without becoming the manifeft Ridicule of his Mefs-mates. Prays him therefore to acquaint his Friends, that there is as much Gormondize in fatisfying their little Appetites, as there is in complying with his that is larger.

The laft is a Letter from William Bar, Keeper of Button's Coffee-house, inviting the Auditor to fettle his Club there, promifing, if he will transport his Mole thither, he will be at the Charge of a new Drawer to receive Letters, whereby the Auditor may bethe Inftrument of making Bar's Fortune,and Button's once more the Seat of Wits, and the Glory of Coffee-houses. The Auditor promifes to mention it to the Club.

THE Hyp-Doctor obferves upon

the Craftsman's Saying "K. Wm was as much obliged to the Affections of the Officers of the Fleet, as to the Winds," (fee p. 8.) that then the Navy and Militia are not the only Security of our Liberties, as he afferts, but the Affections of the People; therefore Danvers in endeavouring to leffen their Affections, endeavours to leffen the natural Strength and Security of the Kingdom.

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ARGUMENT against the SALT-BILL.

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P---y. Sir, From what his Majefty was graciously pleased to tell us from the Throne, I believe the whole People of England did expe&i fome Eafe as to our Taxes. How are thefe Expectations to be anfwer'd? By the Propofition now made, the greatest Part of them are to be fubjected to a new Tax, the rest are to be indeed free, of a Part of an old Tax, but in Place thereof, are to pay a new Tax which will be equally grievous to most of them, and to every other Perfon in the Nation. This, Sir, is the Relief the People of England are, by the Propofition Dow made, to meet with from the Etablishmeat of a profound Tranquillity both Abroad and at Home.

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See p. 1087 to 1093. Vol. II.

one or the other we have made neceffary. We are to confider therefore which of thefe Methods will be moft convenient for the Nation in general. The Thoughts of railing a Ge neral Excife have been difclaim'd by every Gentleman who has spoke on this Head: I hope this Nation will never be in such slavish Circumftances, as that any Man dare openly avow fuch a Defign, but I wish that every Gentleman that has talk'd upon this Subject had explain'd to us what he meant by a General Excife; for if any Gentleman thereby B means, that the People are to pay Excifes upon every thing they ufe either for Food or Raiment, he will find that there is no fuch General Excile in the most flavish Country upon Earth. The proper Meaning of a General Excife relates not to the Things upon which it is raifed, but to the Perfons from whom; and every Excife is a General Excife, if the whole Body of the People, the Poor, the Needy, the most Wretched, are obliged to contribute thereto. The Excile now propefed to be raised upon the People of this Nation, is as General as any one that ever was invented under the moft abfolute Tyranny. And if this be granted, and tamely fubmitted to by the People, it may be an Encouragement to ambitious and wicked Minifters in future Times to lay another Excife upon fome other Commodity used by the Generality of the People; That again will give Encouragement to a third Attempt, and fu on, till at laft the People of this Country be fubjected. as well as fome of our Neighbours, to a GeEneral Excife in the most extenfive Sense; that is, an Excife upon every Perfon, and upon almost every Thing that can be converted to the Ufe of Man.

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Two Years ago, his Majefty was pleased to open the Seffion with a most gracious Speech, in which he expreffed a Concern for the Hardfhips of the poor Artificers and Manufactures. From whence we muft conclude, that his Majefty's Opinion then was, that they labour'd under the greateft Hardships, and were the first who ought to be relieved. The Landed Gentlemen are not, I hope, grown lefs able to bear Burthens, the poor Artificers and Manufacturers are not, I am fure, grown richer; and therefore I must think, D that his Majesty has not altered his Opinion, whatever fome Gentlemen may have done: I is certain fome of them have, because at that Time there was not fo much as one Man in this Houfe that differ'd in Opinion from His Majefty. This Tax upon Salt was then thought fo grievous upon the Poor, that it was given up even by the Rt Hon. Gentleman who bas now made the Motion for Reviving it. I with he had given us fome Reason for his being now of a different Opinion; for it mult proceed from fome Fact that has either happen'd fince that Time, or is foon to hap pen. If he forefees any extraordinary Event, I wifh he had been fo good as to communicate it; for my part, I can fee none that can poffibly induce me to change my Opinion; but many for confirming me in it, and which I think ought to confirm every Man who has a stronger Regard for the Liberties of his Country, and the Happiness of Pofterity, than he has for his own immediate Interest.

I am very willing to believe that every Man afts from the justett Motives, and from a fincere Regard for the Intereft of his Country. But let us not believe that the Question now before us, is, Whether or no Relief ought to be granted to the Landed Intereft. By the Refolutions of this Houle upon the Supply, there is foo,ocol. to be raised for the current SerVice of the Year; and the only Question before us, is, Whether we are to raise this Sum

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When we were involved in a heavy and expensive War, and fighing for every thing that was dear to us, when our Land Tax was at 4s. in the Pound, and every thing we could think on was loaded with Duties and Cuf toms, it was then a Sort of Neceffity upon us to fubmit to fuch an Excife; but if we agree to it now during a Time of profound Peace, will it not then be a Precedent for every Excife that in future Times may or can be invented? And a few more Excifes would, I fear, render our Liberties precarious, and entirely dependent upon the Good will and PleaG fure of thofe who fhall happen to be entrusted with the chief Power of collecting the publick Revenue. I hope no Project will ever be fet on Foot for converting any of our prefent Taxes or Cuftoms into Exciles; but if ever fuch a Project be fet on foot, I shall then, I believe, be able to fhew, that no Dutch Cuftom can in that refpe&t be a good Rule for

by laying a Shilling upon Land, or by revius. The Nature of their Government, the

ving the Duty upon Salt. Neither of them can be a Felief to the Landed Gentlemen; both must be burthenfome to the.. But the

Situation and Condition of their Country, and the Nature of the Commerce carried on by them, is fo vaftly different from ours, that

what