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EPIGRAMS AND INSCRIPTIONS.

FROM THE GRUB STREET JOURNAL.'

I.

EPIGRAM

OCCASIONED BY SEEING SOME SHEETS OF DR. BENTLEY'S EDITION OF
MILTON'S "PARADISE LOST."

Din Milton's prose, O Charles, thy death defend P2
A furious foe unconscious proves a friend.

On Milton's verse does Bentley comment ?-Know
A weak officious friend becomes a foe.

While he but sought his author's fame to further,
The murderous critic has aveng'd thy murder.

II.

EPIGRAM.

SHOULD D-s' print, how once you robb'd your brother
Traduc'd your monarch, and debauch'd your mother;
Say, what revenge on D-s can be had;

Too dull for laughter, for reply too mad?

"The Grub Street Journal" was begun in 1730, and continued till 1738. Pope disclaimed all connection with it (see Epistle to Arbuthnot, v. 378), but he certainly wrote in it under the signature "A.," as appears from the Epitaph on Mr. Digby,

which was published in it, and as might easily be guessed from the subjects and the style of many of the following epigrams.

2 In the Defensio pro Populo Anglicano, 1649. 3 i.e., Dennis.

Of one so poor you cannot take the law;
On one so old your sword you scorn to draw.
Uncag'd then let the harmless monster rage,
Secure in dulness, madness, want, and age.

III.

MR. J. M. S -EL

CATECHISED ON HIS ONE EPISTLE TO MR. POPE.

WHAT makes you write at this odd rate?

Why, Sir, it is to imitate.

What makes you steal and trifle so?

Why, 'tis to do as others do.

But there's no meaning to be seen.

Why, that's the very thing I mean.

IV.

EPIGRAM

ON MR. MRE'S GOING TO LAW WITH MR. GILLIVER:

TO ATTORNEY TIBBALD.

ONCE in his life M--re judges right:
His sword and pen not worth a straw,
An author that could never write,
A gentleman that dares not fight,

Has but one way to tease-by law.
This suit, dear Tibbald, kindly hatch;

INSCRIBED

Thus thou may'st help the sneaking elf;
And sure a printer is his match,

Who's but a publisher himself.

1 i.e. Smythe.

i.e., Moore.

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V.

EPIGRAM.

A GOLD watch found on cinder whore,
Or a good verse on Jy M-—e,'
Proves but what either should conceal,
Not that they're rich, but that they steal.

VI.

EPITAPH.

HERE lies what had nor birth, nor shape, nor fame;
No gentleman! no man! no-thing! no name!
For Jamie ne'er grew James; and what they call
More, shrunk to Smith-and Smith's no name at all.
Yet die thou canst not, phantom, oddly fated:
For how can no-thing be annihilated ? 2

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GREAT G―, such servants since thou well canst lack,

Oh! save the salary, and drink the sack.

1 i.e., Jemmy Moore.

Compare Dunciad, ii. 50.

3 "Grafton's Grace," Charles, second Duke of Grafton, Lord Cham

berlain, who made Cibber Poet Laureate in 1730.

4 i.e., George.

IX.

EPIGRAM.

BEHOLD! ambitious of the British bays,
Cibber and Duck contend in rival lays.
But, gentle Colley, should thy verse prevail,
Thou hast no fence, alas! against his flail :
Therefore thy claim resign, allow his right:
For Duck can thresh, you know, as well as write.'

ON MRS. TOFTS,'

A CELEBRATED OPERA-SINGER.

So bright is thy beauty, so charming thy song,
As had drawn both the beasts and their Orpheus along;
But such is thy av'rice, and such is thy pride,

That the beasts must have starv'd, and the poet have died.

1 Stephen Duck was born about the beginning of the last century. He was almost entirely self-educated, and was brought into notice by his verses in 1729. Queen Caroline patronised him, and made him her Librarian at Richmond (compare Imitation of Horace, Epistle ii. 2. 140), besides obtaining for him the living of Byfleet, in Surrey. He afterwards fell into a melancholy, and threw himself off a bridge into the Thames, near Reading, in 1756.

2 One of the most celebrated singers in the early part of the eighteenth century, and the great rival of Mar

garita L'Epine (see note to Dunciad, iv. 615). Colley Cibber is enthu siastic in her praise : "Whatever defect the fashionably skilful might find in her manner, she had in the general sense of her hearers charms that few of the most learned singers ever arrived at. The beauty of her fine-proportioned figure, and exqui sitely sweet silver tone of voice, with peculiar rapid swiftness of her throat, were perfections not to be imitated by art or labour." The epigram first appeared in the Miscel lanies, 1727.

EPIGRAM ON THE FEUDS ABOUT HANDEL AND

BONONCINI.'

STRANGE! all this difference should be

'Twixt Tweedle-dum and Tweedle-dee!

THE BALANCE OF EUROPE."

Now Europe's balanc'd, neither side prevails;
For nothing's left in either of the scales.

EPITAPH.'

JOANNES jacet hic Mirandula-cætera nôrunt
Et Tagus et Ganges-forsan et Antipodes.

HERE Francis C lies. Be civil;
The rest God knows-perhaps the Devil!

1 Though this has been printed in recent editions of Pope's works, and though it appeared in the Miscellany of 1727, the real author was certainly Dr. Byrom, in whose work the epigram is printed at length:

Some say, compared to Bononcini,
That Mynheer Handel is a ninny,
Others aver that he to Handel
Is scarcely fit to hold a candle.
Strange! all this, &c.

The Biographia Britannica [ed. 1784, article 'Byrom '], says: "Mr. Byrom's epigram on the feuds between Handel and Bononcini was greatly admired; and Mr. Melmoth, who erroneously ascribes it to Dr. Swift, has spoken of it with applause."

2 First published in the Miscellanies, 1727. They were written in 1709, and were sent in a letter to Caryll, dated 19th July in that year.

3 This epitaph first appeared in the Miscellanies, 1727. Spence gives a variation: "You know I love short inscriptions, and that may be the reason why I like the epitaph on the Count of Mirandula so well. Some time ago I made a parody of it for a man of very opposite character: "Here lies Lord Coningsby; be civil,

The rest God knows, perhaps the devil."

4 Francis Chartres. Compare Moral Essay iii. 20.

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