Porcius, who bolted, playful soul!

By way of joke, his bread cakes whole.
And, for a further relish, where
He scented something in the fare
Uncommon, Nomentanus, by
His finger marked it to the eye.
For we, I quote his very words,
Were "eating fish, molluscs, and birds,
In which lurked flavours, quite, you'll own,
Unlike what you have ever known."
A fact beyond all question placed,
When he had helped me to a taste
Of sparrow's gall and turbot's liver,
At the bare thought of which I shiver.
This over, "Honey-apples, you

Will find, take on a ruddy hue,

If," he proceeded to explain,

"Plucked when the moon is on the wane."

How this should come about, and why,

He'll tell you better far than I.

"All unavenged we'll perish so,” Vibidius cries to Balatro,

"Unless of wine we drink whole seas.
Let us have larger cups than these!"
Then grew the visage of our host
Pale, for hard drinkers are what most
He dreads, as they are apt to be
Of shafts sarcastic over-free,

Or as, perhaps, full cups to pledge
Takes off the palate's subtle edge.

Soon were the wine-jars emptied dry
In their capacious goblets by

Vibidius and Balatro,

To follow whom we were not slow

We others-not the lowest bench,
Who did not on the flagons trench.
A lamprey, floating vast and free,
By shrimps surrounded, in a sea
Of sauce, is on a platter brought.
""Twas full of spawn, when it was caught :
Had that been shed, the flavour would
Have turned out nothing like so good;
All this out host explained to us.
"The sauce there is compounded thus:
Venafrian oil, no finer grows,
Garum of Spanish mackerel roes,
Boiled with a wine of five years' old,
A wine of Spain, you should be told,
(For mixing, Chian yields to none,
But only when the boiling's done,)
White pepper, vinegar, the flower
Of Methymnoan grapes gone sour."
Ere he had finished this harangue,
The canopy fell with a bang,
Scattering wide havoc in its fall
On platter, lamprey, shrimps, and all,
With clouds of dust-the northern breeze
Whirls up no denser clouds than these,
On the Campanian plains. At first
We sprang up, fearing for the worst;
But, finding danger there was none,
Resumed our places one by one.
Rufus flung back his head, and cried!,
As if an infant son had died.

Who knows, where it would all have ended,
Had Nomentanus not befriended

Our lachrymose Amphytrion, by
Exclaiming, "Cruel Fortune, why,

Of all the gods man's direst foe,

Why dost thou joy to overthrow

His best-laid schemes with heartless scorn?"
Varius, with mirth convulsive torn,
His laughter in his napkin-no
Light matter-hid; while Balatro,
That universal jester, cried,
"Such fate doth all our life betide;
So, be
your worth however great,

Your fame is ne'er commensurate.
Why, then, in order I may be
Received and feasted handsomely,
Should you with fears be tortured, lest
The bread be burnt, the viands dressed
With sauces villainously blended,
And die, to have your guests attended
By boys, got up with perfect care
Both in their garments and their hair?
Then other things go wrong as well,
Like that which even now befell;

Down comes a canopy-a rash

Boy trips, and your best dish goes smash.
But then the genius of a host,

As of a general, is most

Brought out, when adverse fates assail it,

A course of luck serves but to veil it."
To this Nasidienus, "May

The gods grant all for which you pray!

Of good men you are quite the best,
And all that's courteous as a guest,"
And for his sandals calls. Then through

The guests a buzzing murmur flew,

sandals were taken off before lying down to dinner, this them, the usual signal for the party breaking up, created

R

And heads on every couch were bent
Together, wondering what he meant.
The whole was better sport, I ween,
Than any farce I've ever seen.

HORACE.

Prithee, go on; what followed after,
To further stimulate your laughter?

FUNDANIUS.

"Are all the wine-jars broke, ye louts?"
Vibidius to the pages shouts,
"My goblet's empty, and in vain
I cry to have it filled again!"
Of other quips there was no dearth,
And Balatro keeps up the mirth,

Hailing Nasidienus thus,

"Ha! Welcome! You come back to us,

With altered looks, like one that will

Repair his evil luck by skill."

In after him some pages passed,
Who bore, upon a platter vast,

A crane, cut limb-meal, with a shower,
Soused over it, of salt and flour,
The liver of a snow-white goose,
Fatted on rich figs for our use,

And leverets' shoulders, which, it seems,
Are sweeter than their hind extremes.

Then roasted blackbirds, doves without

Their rumps, were brought-choice things, no doubt,

surprise among the guests of Nasidienus. Why the poor fellow left the table for a time is afterwards explained. It is hard to say which is most contemptible, Nasidienus, or the guests who came to eat his dinner, and to laugh at him. The problem is one the moralist of our own times is often called upon to contemplate.

Had but the master of the feast,
E'en for the briefest respite, ceased

To prose on what their charm is founded,
How they were got, and how compounded.
On him and them a vengeance dread
We took-how think you? Simply fled,
Leaving untouched the whole repast,
As if a pestilential blast

Had swept it from Canidia's throat,
With venom laden, pray you note,
More deadly than was ever shed
From snake or asp in Afric bred.