miftrefs in his mirrour, and that catgut were his dear heartftrings. However, an accident put an end to all my hopes; for this fon of CORELLI broke his arm by a fall from his horfe, as he was riding poft merely to prefide at a petty concert of fcraping juftices and piping parfons. After this I never faw him more, but was inform'd, that his arm being oblig'd to be cut off, he foon after died of the mortification,- -I mean the extreme mortification to think that the finest hand in England was spoil'd by it.

I next form'd an intimacy with honeft Toм MEGGOT. TOм had good parts, a ready wit, and found judgment: but he affected the character of an humourift. To this he thought the best qualification was affurance, and the first ftep towards it fingularity. Concluding that dirt was a fign of wit, Tom took as much pains to be flovenly, as my fiddling fellow-commoner did to be neat. He never wore garters, greas'd his cloaths on purpose, tore his gown to to make it ragged, broke the board of his cap, and very often had but one lappet to his band. He feldom allow'd his hair to be comb'd, or his fhoes to be japann'd. He would put his fhirt on at bed time, because he was asham'd to be caught in a clean one; and on fundays he was fure to be in a difhabille, becaufe every body elfe was dreft. Tho' it was not then the fashion (as it is now) to be blind, Tom conftantly wore fpectacles, ftar'd at every girl he met, and did a thoufand ftrange things to appear particular; in all which he was protected by his very singular modesty, or (in other words) his invincible front of ever-durable brass. He was hail fellow well met with all the townsmen in general, would fwig ale in a penny-pot-house with the lowest of the mob, and commit the moft extravagant actions under the notion of humour. If he got drunk, broke windows, laugh'd at the mayor, ridicul'd the aldermen, humbug'd the proctors, 'twould be often pass'd over; 'twas his humour, and Tom was a well meaning good natur'd fellow. In a word, his whole behaviour was fuch, that many who knew him not, imagin'd he was touch'd; and among the women

he

which ever came firft in

he was frequently mention'd by the name of mad MEGGOT. One would indeed think he did not much study to please the ladies yet Tom was a man of univerfal gallantry; and even in this he affected humour. 'Twas the fame thing to TOм, whom he convers'd with; his way, he paid his devoirs to; whether she happen'd to be a first-rate beauty, or the homeliest dowdy; a coffee-house girl, or his bookfeller's maid; a cook's or a painter's daughter: nay, I have heard him fay, there was nature in a cinder-wench. This odd compofition of a mortal, I must confess, I really lov'd; and, as he had no contemptible fortune, I cou'd have been contented to have spent my days with him: for, notwithftanding his queer appearance and behaviour, he was by nature fenfible, witty, generous, and polite; and had many good qualities, which he would exert at proper times. But poor Tom! his propensity to humour at last led him (contrary to his inclinations) to engage in a party affair, which oblig'd him to leave college, and consequently made room in my affections for,

-at

The rich, the noble, the polite Lord VAINLY.-He was the grandson of a new-fangled peer, and inherited all the fenfe, all the taste, all the virtue of his upstart ancestors. His lordship was too confcious of the intrinfick merit of his title, not to be surrounded by those vile academical parasites, call'd tuft-hunters: the young ones would drink, game, intrigue, take schemes, or do any thing with my Lordhis Lordship's expence: even the old fenior fellows (who, forgetting their mushroom rise and native dunghills, 'lord it fo imperiously over their juniors) would cringe, and fawn, and itoop to the meaneft offices, for the fake of a prefent dinner, or the prospect of future preferrent. Nothing was heard but my Lord, and your Lordfhip: my Lord had the best apartments, my Lord gave the best entertainments, my Lord drank the best claret, my Lord rode the best horse, my Lord had the best taste, the best breeding, the best every thing: for, within the Univerfity all excellencies are implied in the very name of Lord. As I was the reigning toaft when his

Lordfhip came to college, a personof his Lordship's gallantry, to be fure, could not fail becoming my admirer: not that he was really capable of paffion, but as it foothed his vanity to be acquainted with the prettiest girl in Cambridge. Pride I found was his foible, and therefore took care to feed it with the most fulfome flattery. If his Lordship condefcended to appear with me in the walks, I was proud of his company; if his Lordship would at any time lay afide his high dignity to vifit our humble roof, it was too great an honour; and my mother (who has fome art) was inceffantly preaching up the advantages of birth and quality and noble blood. Thus did I vainly imagine, that keeping at a distance was the fure way to come to closer terms with his Lordship. But my young nobleman was too violent to admit of delays; and before he had been a twelvemonth with us, through the instigation and contrivance of a bosom friend, who was under fome engagements with the girl, my Lord fhew'd his taste and defire to mend the breed, by marrying- -an innkeeper's daughter at New-market.

Juft at this juncture arrived to my relief the illuftrious Count BAGATELLE. He was the son of a Spittal-Fields weaver; who, designing to make a bishop of him, had fent him to ftudy for two years at Geneva, from whence he had made the tour of France and Italy, and return'd home to finish his education at Cambridge. The Count was tall, handfome, and-well linb'd; active, vigorous, and couragious: he had a foul as great as his body; and, 'tis thought, had fome reason to brag of his parts, tho' his understanding was of the moderate fize. As to his education in our foreign fifter-univerfity, he ow'd little to that, except a thorough contempt of his own country, and a noble disregard for religion. He had improv'd in no fcience but impudence, and was readier at a compliment than a fyllogifm: he knew very little of the Greek or Latin languages,--but he could talk French: he was a ftranger to Rome and Athens,--but he had feen Paris: hiftory he never pretended to, but he could tell you the secret

amcurs

amours of fuch a Marquis, fuch a Comteffe: he fcarce understood his mother-tongue, but he could fhew you billetdouxs, in broken English, from the most brilliant belles in the court of Versailles. His library was small, and contain'd only a few tomes of memoirs, romances, routes, and guides des etrangers ;-but what he most valu'd was a manufcript book of cookery, in Madame MAINTENON'S own hand, with the original receipt for Selon-mon goût, (Anglicè Salomon-gundy) and the fame that the Count himself has fince communicated to Monfieur CLOE. His wardrobe was elegantly furnish'd, and could boast a curiofity that might challenge a birth-day;a fuit made by Monfieur PETENLAIR, taylor to his moft Chriftian Majefty. His armoury confifted of an Italian ftilletto, two Dutch fnickerfnees, a Turkish carbine, a piftol tinder-box, and a Paris-hilted sword with a right Spanish blade. That blade, he has often affur'd us, was stain'd with the blood of a German prince, kill'd in a fracas concerning a Venetian Bona Roba. The Count, you must believe, was a profefs'd admirer of the fair-fex; and his bel efprit, his air degageé, his politesse endear'd him to us girls. The velvet-cap, the gold tuft, the damask gown, all gave place to the Count's humbler habit of a penfioner. I had the glory to be his favourite Cicifbei,-and might have been his Femme,-but alas! among all his accomplishments he wanted-he wanted-the one thing neceffary. Nature indeed had furnish'd him with talents to adorn an eftate; but fortune, being blind, had not bestow'd one. This at last oblig'd him with reluctance to submit to a metamorphofis, which at once cut him off from his darling divertiffements his light frock and short bob were exchang'd for a grey coat and grizzle; the polite count was funk in the grave divine; and that tongue, which before entertain'd us at the tea-table, now inftructed us from the pulpit. By an easy address, and ready elocution, he foon became the oracle of the canaille; by his fly hypocritical demeanour, and welltim'd pliability of tongue, he at length work'd his way through a fucceffion of preferments; and now fills, with all

the

the dignity of paunch, the firft ftall in ****** Cathedral. Having been particular in my defcriptions hitherto, I fhall pafs over the reft of my gallants;the carelefs Sir CHARLES EASY, who play'd with a fan, took snuff, and fipp'd tea with the best grace imaginable; the prim Mr. STARCH, who stuck to me like a snail to a honey-fuckle, and watch'd me like the dragon guardiug the Hefperian fruit ;-and many others; together with all the inferiour infects, who buzz'd about, and wanton'd for a while in the fun-fhine of my favours, then flew off, and a fresh swarm fucceeded. At length, perceiving my admirers to decrease, I began to fear I had mifs'd my market. I therefore determin'd to lay hold of the first opportunity that offer'd, and accordingly seiz'd a young freshman, not fixteen, just come out of the country, the hopeful heir of a ftingy old baronet. The aukward boy bumkin had scarce ever seen a woman, except his mother, the maids, an old aunt or fo, and the curate his school-master's wife. He therefore fell readily into my fnares: and, in lefs than a term after his matriculation, we fet out in a chaife together, in order to be privately married; but, thro' the treachery of a scout, were overtaken on the road by his tutor. I return'd in confufion to Cambridge; but my amorous booby was remanded to his native hills, there to follow foxes, and never more vex his brains with your logicks, your heathen lingo, and your pot-hooks and hangers.

of

It is then from this period, that I date my firft æra gallantry. As the affair got wind, and my charms grew every day less attracting, my young admirers fell off infenfibly, and a new fcene of love foon commenc'd ;-of which I muft defer the relation till the next opportunity.

Cambridge, Dec. 3. 1750.

The FEMALE STUDENT.

P. S. By advices just receiv'd from our Adjutant quarter'd at Oxford we learn, that there was an exceeding fplendid fhew of Conftellations at the laft choral-night; that the Star-gazers were obferv'd to ply their Telescopes much lefs fince the disappearing of the two Blazing-Comets; that VENUS then appear'd fomewhat dim; but that all the other Planets were obferv'd to jhine with more than ufual lufire.