But if you will not take my word,
See anno quint. of Richard Third;
And that's a coppice call'd, when dock'd,
Witness an. prim. of Harry Oct.
If this a wood you will maintain,
Merely because it is no plain,
Holland, for all that I can see,
May e'en as well be term'd the sea,
Or C-by [Coningsby] be fair harangued
An honest man, because not hang'd."

EPIGRAMS.

ON MRS. TOFTS, A CELEBRATED OPERA-SINGER.1
thy beauty, so charming thy song,

So bright is

As had drawn both the beasts and their Orpheus along;
But such is thy avarice, and such is thy pride,
That the beasts must have starved, and the poets have died.

ON THE FEUDS ABOUT HANDEL AND BONONCINI.

STRANGE all this difference should be

'Twixt Tweedle-dum and Tweedle-dee!

EPIGRAM.

YOU
OU beat your pate, and fancy wit will come :
Knock as you please, there's nobody at home.

EPIGRAM FROM THE FRENCH.

SIR IR, I admit your general rule,
That every poet is a fool:
But you yourself may serve to show it
That every fool is not a poet.

1 [This lady, an Englishwoman, maintained her ground against the Italian singers when the opera was first introduced to this country. She had a strong party in her favour, and one night, Feb. 5th, 1703-4, her Italian rival, Francesca Margherita de l'Epine, was hissed and pelted by Katharine Toft's clamorous admirers. Colley Cibber speaks warmly of the English singer's voice and personal attractions.]

" ΕΡΙΤΑΡΙ.

WELL then, poor G- lies underground!

there's an end of honest Jack.

So little justice here he found,

'Tis ten to one he'll ne'er come back.

ΕΡΙΤΑΡΗ.

Joannes jacet hic Mirandula-cætera norunt

Et Tagus et Ganges-forsan et Antipodes.

Applied to F. C. [FRANCIS CHARTRES.]

HERE Francis C-- lies. Be civil;

The rest God knows-perhaps the devil!

THE BALANCE OF EUROPE.

NOW Europe balanced, neither side prevails;

For nothing's left in either of the scales.

W

TO A LADY WITH "THE TEMPLE OF FAME."
HAT 'S fame with men by custom of the nation,
Is call'd in women only reputation :
About them both why keep we such a pother?
Part you with one, and I'll renounce the other.

["I send you my Temple of Fame, which is just come out; but my senti ments about it you will see better by this epigram."-Pope to Martha Blount, 1714.]

ON THE TOASTS OF THE KIT-CAT CLUB, ANNO 1716.

W

HENCE deathless Kit-Cat took its name,
Few critics can unriddle;
Some say from pastry-cook it came,
And some from cat and fiddle.

From no trim beaux its name it boasts,
Gray statesmen or green wits;
But from this pell-mell pack of toasts
Of old "cats" and young "kits."

[The Kit-cat Club was formed about the year 1700, and met at first in a pastry-cook's in Shire-lane, near Temple-Bar. This person, famous for mutton pies, was called Christopher Cat, whence the name of the club. Toasting ladies after dinner was a rule of the club. A lady was chosen for the year by ballot, and her name written with a diamond on a drinking glass. Poetical jeux d'esprit on the beauties thus selected to reign supreme were written by Addison, Garth, the Earl of Halifax, Lord Dorset, Lord Wharton, &c. Lady Mary Wortley Montagu, when a child of only eight years of age, was nominated by her father, Lord Kingston. Jacob Tonson, the publisher. was mainly instrumental in keeping the club together, and the members presented him with their portraits, painted by Kneller, all uniform in size. These portraits, forty-eight in number, Tonson hung up in a room which he had added to his residence at Barn Elms, for the meetings of the club. They are still preserved, and have been often engraved.]

A DIALOGUE (1717).

POPE.-Since my old friend is grown so great
As to be Minister of State,
I'm told, but 'tis not true, I hope,

That Craggs will be ashamed of Pope.

CRAGGS. Alas! if I am such a creature

To grow the worse for going greater;.
Why, faith, in spite of all my brags,
'Tis Pope must be ashamed of Craggs.

ON DRAWINGS OF THE STATUES OF APOLLO, VENUS, AND HERCULES, MADE FOR POPE BY SIR GODFREY KNELLER.

WHAT god, what genius, did the pencil move,

When Kneller painted these?
'Twas friendship warm as Phœbus, kind as love,
And strong as Hercules.

UPON THE DUKE OF MARLBOROUGH'S HOUSE AT WOODSTOCK.

SEE, sir, here's the grand approach;

This way is for his grace's coach:
There lies the bridge, and here's the clock,
Observe the lion and the cock,
The spacious court, the colonnade,
And mark how wide the hall is made!
The chimneys are so well design'd,
They never smoke in any wind.
This gallery's contrived for walking,
The windows to retire and talk in;
The council chamber for debate,
And all the rest are rooms of state.

Thanks, sir, cried I, 'tis very fine,
But where d'ye sleep, or where d'ye dine?
I find, by all you have been telling,
That 'tis a house, but not a dwelling.

[Lord Chesterfield has the same idea in his Epigram on Burlington House:

"How well you build, let flattery tell;

And all mankind, how ill you dwell."

Lord Hervey said of Lord Burlington's villa at Chiswick, that it was too small to live in, and too large to hang by one's watch!]

1

ON A PICTURE OF QUEEN CAROLINE, DRAWN BY
LADY BURLINGTON.

PEACE, flattering Bishop! lying Dean!
This portrait only paints the Queen!

[The Bishop was Gilbert; the Dean, Dr. Alured Clarke, satirised in Epilogue to the Satires.]

ON BENTLEY'S "MILTON."

DID Milton's prose, O Charles, thy death defend?

A furious foe unconscious proves a friend.
On Milton's verse did Bentley comment? Know
A weak officious friend becomes a foe.

While he but sought his author's fame to further,
The murderous critic has avenged thy murther.