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Such waxen noses, ftately ftaring things-
No wonder fome folks bow, and think them Kings.
See! where the British youth, engag'd no more
At Fig's, at White's, with felons, or a whore,
Pay their laft duty to the Court, and come
All fresh and fragrant, to the drawing-room;
In hues as gay, and odours as divine,
As the fair fields they fold to look fo fine.
"That's velvet for a King !" the flatt'rer swears ;
'Tis true, for ten days hence 'twill be King Lear's.
Our Court may juftly to our stage give rules,
That helps it both to fools-coats and to fools.
And why not players ftrut in courtiers cloaths?
For these are actors too, as well as thofe :
Wants reach all ftates; they beg but better dreft,
And all is fplendid poverty at best.
Painted for fight, and effenc'd for the fmell,
Like frigates fraught with spice and cochine❜l,
Sail in the Ladies: how each pyrate eyes
So weak a veffel, and fo rich a prize!
Top-gallant he, and the in all her trim,
He boarding her, fhe ftriking fail to him:
gaming-houfe: Fig's, a Prize fighter's Academy, where the young Nobility receiv'd inftruction in those days: It was also cuftomary for the nobility and gentry to vifit the condemned criminals in Newgate. P.
VER. 220. our ftage give rules,] Alluding to the Chamberlain's Authority.
Their beauties; they the mens wits; both are bought.
Why good wits ne'er wear scarlet gowns, I thought
This caufe, Thefe men, mens wits for fpeeches buy,
And women buy all red which scarlets dye.
He call'd her beauty lime-twigs, her hair net:
She fears her drugs ill lay'd, her hair loose set.
Would not Heraclitus laugh to see Macrine
From hat to fhoe, himself at door refine,
As if the Presence were a Mofch: and lift
His skirts and hofe, and call his clothes to shrift,
Making them confefs not only mortal
Great ftains and holes in them, but venial
Feathers and duft, wherewith they fornicate:
And then by Durer's rules furvey the state
Of his each limb, and with ftrings the odds tries
Of his neck to his leg, and wafte to thighs.
So in immaculate clothes, and Symmetry
Perfect as Circles, with fuch nicety
As a young Preacher at his first time goes
To preach, he enters, and a lady which owes
Him not so much as good will, he arrests,
And unto her protefts, protefts, protests,
di. e. Arrive to worship and magiftracy. The reafon he gives is, that those who have wit are forced to fell their ftock, instead of trading with it. This thought, tho' not amifs, our Poet has not paraphrafed. It is obfcurely expreffed, and poffibly it escaped him.
"Dear Countefs! you have charms all hearts to hit!"
And "Sweet Sir Fopling! you have so much wit !''
Such wits and beauties are not prais'd for nought,
For both the beauty and the wit are bought.
'Twou'd burft ev'n Heraclitus with the spleen,
To fee those anticks, Fopling and Courtin:
The Presence feems, with things fo richly odd,
The Mofque of Mahound, or fome queer Pa-god.
See them furvey their limbs by Durer's rules,
Of all beau-kind the best proportion'd fools!
Adjust their cloaths, and to confeffion draw
Those venial fins, an atom, or a straw;
But oh! what terrors must distract the foul
Convicted of that mortal crime, a hole;
Or fhould one pound of powder less bespread
Those monkey tails that wag behind their head.
Thus finifh'd, and corrected to a hair,
They march, to prate their hour before the Fair.
So first to preach a white-glov'd Chaplain goes,
With band of Lilly, and with cheek of Rose,
i.e. Confcious that both her complexion and her hair are borrowed, fhe fufpects that, when, in the common cant of flatterers, he calls her beauty lime-twigs, and her hair a net to catch lovers, he means to infinuate that her colours are coarsely laid on, and her borrowed hair loosely
f Because all the lines drawn from the centre to the cir cumference are equal.
VER. 240, Durer's rules,] Albert Durer.
So much as at Rome would ferve to have thrown
Ten Cardinals into the Inquifition
And whifpers by Jefu so oft, that a
Pursuevant would have ravish'd him away
For faying our Ladies Pfalter. But 'tis fit
That they each other plague, they merit it.
But here comes Glorious that will plague them both; Who in the other extreme only doth
Call a rough carelesness, good fashion :
Whofe cloak his fpurs tear, or whom he fpits on;
He cares not, he. His ill words do no harm
To him; he rushes in, as if Arm, arm,
He meant to cry; and though his face be as ill
As theirs which in old hangings whip Christ, still
He strives to look worfe; he keeps all in awe ;
Jefts like a licens'd fool, commands like law.
Tyr'd, now I leave this place, and but pleas'd fo
As men from goals to execution go,
Go, through the great chamber (why is it hung
With the seven deadly fins ?) being among
Sweeter than Sharon, in immac❜late trim,
Neatness itself impertinent in him.
Let but the Ladies fmile, and they are bleft:
Prodigious !-how the things protest, protest:
Peace, fools, or Gonson will for Papists seize you,
If once he catch you at your fefu! Fefu!
Nature made ev'ry Fop to plague his brother,
Juft as one Beauty mortifies another.
But here's the Captain that will plague them both, 260
Whose air cries Arm! whofe very look's an oath :
The Captain's honeft, Sirs, and that's enough,
Tho' his foul's bullet, and his body buff.
He fpits fore-right; his haughty cheft before,
Like batt'ring rams, beats open ev'ry door:
And with a face as red, and as awry,
As Herod's hang-dogs in old Tapestry,
Scarecrow to boys, the breeding woman's curse,
Has yet a strange ambition to look worse ;
Confounds the civil, keeps the rude in awe,
Jefts like a licens'd fool, commands like law.
Frighted, I quit the room, but leave it fo
As men from Jayls to execution go;
For hung with deadly fins I fee the wall,
And lin'd with Giants deadlier than 'em all:
VER. 274. For hung with deadly fins] The Room hung with o.d Tapestry, reprefenting the even deadly fins, P.