THE RAMBLER. VOLUME THE SECOND. N° LIV. SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 22, 1750, TRUDITUR DIES DIE, NOVEQUE PERGUNT INTERIRE LUNÆ; TU SECANDA MARMORA LOCAS SUR IPSUM FUNUS, ET SZPULCHR1 HOR. SIR, DAY PRESSES ON THE HEELS OF DAY, TO THE RAMBLER. Havelter and an froment, to at tend the laft hours of an old friend; an office which has filled me, if not with melancholy, at least with ferious reflections, and turned my thoughts towards the contemplation of thofe fubjects which,though of the utmost importance, and of indubitable certainty, are generally fecluded from our regard, by the jollity of health, the hurry of employment, and even by the calmer diverfions of ftudy and fpeculation; or if they become accidental topicks of converfation and argument, yet rarely fink deep into the heart, but give occafion only to fome fubtilties of reafoning, or elegancies of declamation, which are heard, applauded, and forgotten. It is, indeed, not hard to conceive how a man accustomed to extend his views through a long concatenation of caufes and effects, to trace things from their origin to their period, and compare means with ends, may discover the weakness of human schemes; detect the FRANCIS. fallacies by which mortals are deluded; fhew the infufficiency of wealth, honours, and power, to real happiness; and please himself and his auditors with learned lectures on the vanity of life. But though the fpeculatift may see and fhew the folly of terreftrial hopes, fears, and defires, every hour will give proofs that he never felt it. Trace him through the day or year, and you will find him acting upon principles which he has in common with the illiterate and unenlightened, angry and pleafed like the loweft of the vulgar, purfuing, with the fame ardour, the fame defigns; grafping, with all the eagerness of tranfport, thofe riches which he knows he cannot keep; and fwelling with the applaufe which he has gained by proving that applaufe is of no value. The only conviction that rushes upon the foul, and takes away from our appetites and paffions the power of refiitance, is to be found, where I have received it, at the bed of a dying friend. To enter this fchool of wifdom is not the peculiar privilege of geometricians; the row fhall be beftowed upon another, anthority which fhall this night expire for ever, and praise which, however merited, or however fincere, fhall, after a few moments, be heard no more. the most fublime and important precepts require no uncommon opportunities, nor laborious preparations; they are enforced without the aid of eloquence, and understood without skill in analytick fcience. Every tongue can utter them, and In thofe hours of ferioufnefs and wifevery understanding can conceive them. dom, nothing appeared to raise his fpiHe that wishes in earnest to obtain just rits, or gladden his heart, but the recol. fentiments concerning his condition, and lection of acts of goodness, nor to exwould be intimately acquainted with the cite his attention but fome opportunity world, may find inftructions on every for the exercite of the duties of religion. fide. He that defires to enter behind the Every thing that terminated on this fide fcene, which every art has been employ- of the grave was received with coldness ed to decorate, and every paffion labours and indifference, and regarded rather to illuminate, and wishes to fee life in confequence of the habit of valuing ftripped of thofe ornaments which make it, than from any opinion that it defervit glitter on the ftage, and expofed in it's ed value; it had little more prevalence natural meanness, impotence, and na-over his mind than a bubble that was kedness, may find all the delufion laid open in the chamber of difeafe: he will there find vanity divested of her robes, power deprived of her fceptre, and hypocrify without her mask. The friend whom I have loft was a man eminent for genius; and, like others of the fame clafs, fufficiently pleafed with acceptance and applaufe. Being careffed by thofe who have preferments and riches in their difpofal, he confidered himself as in the direct road of advancement, and had caught the flame of ambition by approaches to it's object. But in the midt of his hopes, his projects and his gaieties, he was feized by a lingering difcafe, which, from it's first Rate, he knew to be incurable. Here was an end of all his vifions of greatnefs and happiness; from the first hour that his health declined, all his former pleafures grew taftelefs. His friends expected to please him by thofe accounts of the growth of his reputation, which were formerly certain of being well received; but they foon found how little he was now affected by compliments, and how vainly they attempted, by flattery, to exhilarate the languor of weaknefs, and relieve the folicitude of approaching death. Whoever would know how much piety and virtue furpass all external goods, might here have feen them weighed against each other, where all that gives motion to the active, and elevation to the eminent, all that fparkles in the eye of hope, and pants in the bofom of fufpicion, at once became duft in the balance, without weight and without regard. Riches, authority, and praife, lofe all their influence when they are confidered as riches which to-mor now broken, a dream from which he was awake. His whole powers were engroffed by the confideration of another Itate, and all converfation was tedious that had not some tendency to difengage him from human affairs, and to open his profpects into futurity. It is now paft; we have closed his eyes, and heard him breathe the groan of expiration. At the fight of this laft conit, I felt a fenfation never known to me before; a confufion of paffions, an awful stilness of forrow, a gloomy terrour without a name. The thoughts that entered my foul were too strong to be diverted, and too piercing to be endured; but fuch violence cannot be lafting, the ftorm fubfided in a fhort time, I wept, retired, and grew calm. I have from that time frequently revolved in my mind the effects, which the obfervation of death produces in thofe who are not wholly without the power and use of reflection; for by far the greater part it is wholly unregarded, their friends and their enemies fink into the grave without raifing any uncommon emotion, or reminding them that they are themselves on the edge of the precipice, and that they must foon plunge into the gulph of eternity. It feens to me remarkable that death increases our veneration for the good, and extenuates our hatred of the bad. Thole virtues which once we envied, as Horace obferves, because they eclipfed our own, can now no longer obstruct our reputation, and we have therefore no intereft to fupprefs their praife. That wickedness which we feared for it's malignity is now become impotent; and the man whose name filled us with alarm, and and rage, and indignation, can at last be confidered only with pity or contempt. When a friend is carried to his grave, we at once find excufes for every weaknefs, and palliations of every fault; we recollect a thousand endearments, which before glided off our minds without impreffion, a thousand favours unrepaid, a thoufand duties unperformed; and with, vainly with, for his return, not fo much that we may receive, as that we may beflow happiness, and recompenfe that kindnefs which before we never understood, There is not, perhaps, to a mind well inftructed, a more painful occurrence, than the death of one whom we have injured without reparation. Our crime feems now irretrievable; it is indelibly recorded, and the ftamp of fate is fixed upon it. We confider, with the most affictive anguish, the pain which we have given, and now cannot alleviate, and the loffes which we have caufed, and now cannot repair. Of the fame kind are the emotions which the death of an emulator or competitor produces. Whoever had qualities to alarm our jealoufy, had excellence to deferve our fondness; and to whatever ardour of oppofition intereft may infilame us, no man ever outlived an enemy whom he did not then wish to T have made a friend. Those who are verfed in literary history know, that the elder Scaliger was the redoubted antago nift of Cardan and Erafinus; yet at the death of each of his great rivals he relented, and complained that they were fnatched away from him before their reconciliation was completed. Tu-ne etiam moreris? Ab! quid me linquis, Erafme, Ante meus quam fit conciliatus amor ? Art thou too fall'n? Ere anger could fubfide, And love return, has great Erasmus died? Such are the fentiments with which we finally review the effects of paffion, but which we sometimes delay till we can no longer rectify our errors. Let us therefore make hafte to do what we shall certainly at last wish to have done; let us return the careffes of our friends, and endeavour by mutual endearments to heighten that tenderness which is the balm of life. Let us be quick to repent of injuries while repentance may not be a barren anguish, and let us open our eyes to every rival excellence, and pay early and willingly thofe honours which juftice will compel us to pay at laft. ATHANATUS. N° LV. TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 25, 1750. Yet fince it is no lefs natural for thofe who think themfelves injured to complain, than for others to neglect their complaints, I thall venture to lay my cafe before you, in hopes that you will enforce my opinion, if you think it just, or endeavour to rectify my fentiments, if I am mistaken. I expect at least, that you will diveft yourself of partiality, and that whatever your age or folemnity nay be, you will not with the dotard's infolence pronounce me ignorant and foolish, perverfe and refractory, only becaufe you perceive that I am young. My father dying when I was but ten years old, left me, and a brother two years younger than myfelf, to the care of my mother, a woman of birth and education, whofe prudence or virtue he had no reason to distrust. She felt, for fome time, all the forrow which nature calls forth, upon the final feparation of perfons dear to one another; and as her grief was exhausted by it's own violence, it fubfided into tenderness for me and my brother; and the year of mourning was spent in careffes, confolations, and inftruction, in celebration of my father's virtues, in profeffions of perpetual regard to his memory, and hourly inftances of fuch fondnefs as gratitude will fot eafily fuffer me to forget. -But when the term of this mournful felicity was expired,and my mother appeared again without the enfigns of forrow, the ladies of her acquaintance began to tell her, upon whatever motives, that it was time to live like the rest of the world; a powerful argument, which is feldom used to a woman without effect. Lady Giddy was inceffantly relating the occurrences of the town; and Mrs. Gravely told her privately, with great tenderness, that it began to be publickly obferved how much the overacted her. part, and that most of her acquaintance fufpected her hope of procuring another husband to be the true ground of all that appearance of tenderness and piety. All the officioufnefs of kindness and folly was bufied to change her conduct. She was at one time alarmed with cenfure, and at another fired with praife. She was told of balls, where others fhone only because she was abfent; of new comedies to which all the town was crouding; and of many ingenious ironies, by which domeftick diligence was made contemptible. It is difficult for virtue to stand alone against fear on one fide, and pleasure on the other; efpecially when no actual crime is propofed, and prudence itself can fuggeft many reafons for relaxation and indulgence. My mamma was at laft perfuaded to accompany Mrs. Giddy to a play. She was received with a boundlefs profusion of compliments, and attended home by a very fine gen. tleman. Next day fhe was with leis difficulty prevailed on to play at Mrs. Gravely's, and came home gay and lively; for the diftinctions that had been paid her awakened her vanity, and good luck had kept her principles of frugality from giving her disturbance. She now made her fecond entrance into the world, and her friends were fufficiently induftrious to prevent any return to her former life; every morning brought meffages of invitation, and every evening was paffed in places of diverfion, from which the for fome time complained that she had rather be abfent. In a fhort time fhe began to feel the happiness of acting without controul, of being unaccountable for her hours, her expences, and her company; and learned by degrees to drop an expreffion of contempt or pity at the mention of ladies whofe husbands were fufpected of restraining their pleasures, or their play, and confefled that he loved to go and come as the pleafed. I was ftill favoured with fome incidental precepts and tranfient endear◄ ments, and was now and then fondly kifled for finiling like my papa: but most part of her morning was spent in comparing the opinion of her maid and milliner, contriving fome variation in her drefs, vifiting hops, and fending compliments; and the rest of the day was too fhort for vifits, cards, plays, and concerts. She now began to difcover that it was impoffible to educate children properly at home. Parents could not have them always in their fight; the fociety of fervants was contagios; company produced boldnefs and fpirit; emulation excited induftry; and a large fchool was naturally the first step into the open world. A thoufand other reafons fhe alledged, fome of little force in themfelves, but fo well feconded by pleafare, vanity, and idleness, that they foon overcame all the remaining, principles of kindness and piety; and both I and my brother were dispatched to boarding schools. Ilow my mamma spent her time when fhe the was thus disburthened I am not able to inform you, but I have reason to believe that trifles and amufements took ftill fafter hold of her heart. At first the vifited me at fchool, and afterwards wrote to me; but in a fhort time, both her vifits and her letters were at an end; and no other notice was taken of me than to remit money for my support. When I came home at the vacation, I found myself coldly received, with an obfervation That this girlwill prefently be a woman.' I was, after the ufual ftay, fent to school again, and overheard my mother fay, as I was a going, 'Well, now I fhall recover.' In fix months more I came again; and, with the usual childish alacrity, was running to my mother's embrace, when the ftopt me with exclamations at the fuddennefs and enormity of my growth, having, fhe faid, never feen any body fhoot up fo much at my age. She was fure no other girls fpread at that rate, and the hated to have children look like women before their time. I was difconcerted, and retired without hearing any thing more than Nay, if you are angry, Madam Steeple, you may walk off. When once the forms of civility are violated, there remains little hope of return to kindness or decency. My mamma made this appearance of refentment a reafon for continuing her malignity; and poor Mifs Maypole, for that was my appellation, was never mentioned or Spoken to but with fome expreffion of anger or diflike. She had yet the pleasure of dreffing me like a child; and I know not when I fhould have been thought fit to change my habit, had I not been refcued by a maiden fifter of my father, who could not bear to fee women in hangingfeeves, and therefore prefented me with brocade for a gown, for which I fhould have thought myself under great obligations, had the not accompanied her favour with fome hints that my mamma might now confider her age, and give me her ear-rings, which fhe had fhewn long enough in publick places. I now left the school, and came to live with my mamma, who confidered me as an ufurper that had feized the rights of a woman before they were due, and was pufhing her down the precipice of age, that I might reign without a fuperior. While I am thus beheld with jealousy and fufpicion, you will readily believe that it is difficult to please. Every word and look is an offence. I never speak, but I pretend to fome qualities and excellencies, which it is criminal to poffefs; if I am gay, the thinks it early enough to coquette; if I am grave, the hates a prude in bibs; if I venture into company, I am in hafte for a husband; if I retire to my chamber, fuch matron-like ladies are lovers of contemplation. I am on one pretence or other generally excluded from her affemblies, nor am I ever fuffered to visit at the fame place with my mamma. Every one wonders why the does not bring Mifs more into the world; and when the comes home in vapours, I am certain that she has heard either of my beauty or my wit, and expect nothing for the enfuing week but taunts and unenaces, contradiction and reproaches. Thus I live in a state of continual perfecution, only because I was born ten years too foon, and cannot stop the courie of nature or of time, but am unhappily a woman before my mother can willingly ceafe to be a girl. I believe you would contribute to the happiness of many families, if, by any arguments or perfuafions, you could make mothers afhamed of rivalling their children; if you could fhew them, that though they may refufe to grow wife, they must inevitably grow old; and that the proper folaces of age are not mufick and compliments, but wisdom and devotion; that thofe who are fo unwilling to quit the world will foon be driven from it; arid that it is therefore their intereft to retire while there yet remains a few hours for nobler employments. I am, &c. |