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Pregnant with thousands slits the scrap unseen,
And silent sells a king, or buys a queen.

Oh! that such bulky bribes as all might see,
Still, as of old, incumber'd villany!

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Could France or Rome divert our brave designs,
With all their brandies, or with all their wines?

What could they more than knights and 'squires confound, Or water all the quorum ten miles round?

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A statesman's slumbers how this speech would spoil!

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Sir, Spain has sent a thousand jars of oil;

Huge bales of British cloth blockade the door :
A hundred oxen at your levée roar.”

Poor avarice one torment more would find;
Nor could profusion squander all in kind.
Astride his cheese Sir Morgan might we meet;
And Worldly crying coals from street to street,6
Whom, with a wig so wild, and mien so mazed,
Pity mistakes for some poor tradesman crazed.
Had Colepepper's whole wealth been hops and hogs,?
Could he himself have sent it to the dogs?
His Grace will game: to White's a bull be led,8
With spurning heels and with a butting head.

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6 Some misers of great wealth, proprietors of the coal-mines, had entered at this time into an association to keep up coals to an extravagant price, whereby the poor were reduced almost to starve, till one of them, taking advantage of underselling the rest, defeated the design. One of these misers was worth ten thousand, another, seven thousand a year.

7 Sir William Colepepper, Bart., a person of an ancient family, and ample fortune, without one other quality of a gentleman, who, after ruining himself at the gaming-table, passed the rest of his days in sittting there to see the ruin of others: preferring to subsist upon borrowing and begging, rather than to enter into any reputable method of life, and refusing a post in the army which was offered him.

[The name originally given in this verse was Hawley, meaning, we suppose, General Hawley, the military Jeffreys, whose incompetence and negligence lost the battle of Falkirk, in 1745. Sir William Colepepper was uncle of the then Duke of Roxburgh. He died March 28th, 1740.]

8 [White's Club-house, in St. James's-street, a noted place for gambling. Horace Walpole mentions (1750) a good story in the papers on White's. A man dropped down dead at the door; the club immediately made bets whether he was dead or not, and when they were going to bleed him, the wagerers for his death interposed, and said it would affect the fairness of the bet.]

To White's be carried, as to ancient games,
Fair coursers, vases, and alluring dames.
Shall then Uxorio, if the stakes he sweep,

Bear home six whores, and make his lady weep?
Or soft Adonis, so perfumed and fine,9
Drive to St. James's a whole herd of swine?
Oh filthy check on all industrious skill,

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To spoil the nation's last great trade, Quadrille !

What say you? B. Say? Why, take it, gold and all.

Since then, my lord, on such a world we fall,

P. What riches give us, let us then inquire?

Meat, fire, and clothes. B. What more? P. Meat, clothes, and fire.

Is this too little? would you more than live?

Alas! 'tis more than Turner finds they give.10

Alas! 'tis more than (all his visions past)
Unhappy Wharton, waking, found at last! 11

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What can they give? to dying Hopkins, heirs ; 12
To Chartres, vigour; Japhet,13 nose and ears?

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9 [The "soft Adonis" was no doubt Lord Hervey.]

10 One who, being possessed of three hundred thousand pounds, laid down his coach because interest was reduced from five to four per cent., and then put seventy thousand into the Charitable Corporation for better interest; which sum having lost, he took it so much to heart, that he kept his chamber ever after. It is thought he would not have outlived it, but that he was heir to another considerable estate, which he daily expected, and that by this course of life he saved both clothes, and all other expenses.

[Richard Turner, usually called "Plum Turner." He had been a Turkey merchant. His death took place on the 8th of February, 1733.]

11 A nobleman of great qualities, but as unfortunate in the application of them, as if they had been vices and follies. See his character in the First Epistle.

12 A citizen, whose rapacity obtained him the name of Vulture Hopkins. He lived worthless, but died worth three hundred thousand pounds, which he would give to no person living, but left it so as not to be inherited till after the second generation. His counsel representing to him how many years it must be before this could take effect, and that his money could only lie at interest all that time, he expressed great joy thereat, and said, "They would then be as long in spending as he had been in getting it." But the Chancery afterwards set aside the will, and gave it to the heir-at-law.

18 Japhet Crook, alias Sir Peter Stranger, was punished with the loss of those parts, for having forged a conveyance of an estate to himself, upon which he took up several thousand pounds. He was at the same time sued in Chancery for having fraudulently obtained a will, by which he possessed another considerable estate, in wrong of the brother of the deceased. By

Can they in gems bid pallid Hippia glow,
In Fulvia's buckle ease the throbs below;
Or heal, old Narses, thy obscener ail,
With all the embroidery plaster'd at thy tail?
They might (were Harpax not too wise to spend)
Give Harpax' self the blessing of a friend;

Or find some doctor that would save the life

Of wretched Shylock, spite of Shylock's wife:
But thousands die, without or this or that,
Die, and endow a college, or a cat.14

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To some, indeed, Heaven grants the happier fate,
To enrich a bastard, or a son they hate.

Perhaps you think the poor might have their part;
Bond damns the poor, and hates them from his heart:
The grave Sir Gilbert holds it for a rule
That every man in want is knave or fool:

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"God cannot love (says Blunt, with tearless eyes)
The wretch he starves"-and piously denies :
But the good bishop, with a meeker air,
Admits, and leaves them, Providence's care.

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these means he was worth a great sum, which (in reward for the small loss of his ears) he enjoyed in prison till his death, and quietly left to his

executor.

14 A famous Duchess of R. in her last will left considerable legacies and annuities to her cats.

15 This Epistle was written in the year 1730, when a corporation was established to lend money to the poor upon pledges, by the name of the Charitable Corporation; but the whole was turned only to an iniquitous method of enriching particular people, to the ruin of such numbers, that it became a parliamentary concern to endeavour the relief of those unhappy sufferers, and three of the managers, who were members of the house, were expelled. By the report of the committee appointed to inquire into that iniquitous affair, it appears that when it was objected to the intended removal of the office, that the poor, for whose use it was erected, would be hurt by it, Bond, one of the directors, replied, "Damn the poor." That "God hates the poor," and, "That every man in want is knave or fool," &c., were the genuine apophthegms of some of the persons here mentioned.

[Dennis Bond, Esq, of Grange, was long in Parliament, and represented successively the boroughs of Dorchester, Corfe Castle, and Poole. He died January 30, 1746-7, and his large estates devolved upon his nephew, John Bond. Sir Gilbert, in the next line, is Sir Gilbert Heathcote. See Additional Notes.]

Yet to be just to these poor men of pelf,
Each does but hate his neighbour as himself:
Damn'd to the mines, an equal fate betides
The slave that digs it, and the slave that hides.

B. Who suffer thus, mere charity should own,
Must act on motives powerful, though unknown.

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P. Some war, some plague, or famine, they foresee, Some revelation hid from you and me.

Why Shylock wants a meal, the cause is found,

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He thinks a loaf will rise to fifty pound.
What made directors cheat in South-sea year?
To live on venison when it sold so dear.16
Ask you why Phryne the whole auction buys?
Phryne foresees a general excise.17

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Why she and Sappho raise that monstrous sum?
Alas! they fear a man will cost a plum.

Wise Peter 18 sees the world's respect for gold,
And therefore hopes this nation may be sold:
Glorious ambition! Peter, swell thy store,
And be what Rome's great Didius was before.19
The crown of Poland,20 venal twice an age,
To just three millions stinted modest Gage;
But nobler scenes Maria's dreams unfold,
Hereditary realms, and worlds of gold.

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16 In the extravagance and luxury of the South Sea year, the price of a haunch of venison was from three to five pounds.

17 Many people about the year 1733, had a conceit that such a thing was intended, of which it is not improbable this lady might have some intimation. 18 Peter Walter, a person, not only eminent in the wisdom of his profession as a dexterous attorney, but allowed to be a good, if not a safe, conveyancer; extremely respected by the nobility of this land, though free from all manner of luxury and ostentation: his wealth was never seen, and his bounty was never heard of, except to his own son, for whom he procured an employment of considerable profit, of which he gave him as much as was necessary. Therefore the taxing this gentleman with any ambition, is certainly a great wrong to him.

19 A Roman lawyer, so rich as to purchase the empire when it was set to sale upon the death of Pertinax.

20 The two persons here mentioned were of quality, each of whom in the Mississipi despised to realize above three hundred thousand pounds; the gentleman, with a view to the purchase of the crown of Poland, the lady, on a vision of the like royal nature. They since retired into Spain, where they are still in search of gold in the mines of the Asturias.

Congenial souls; whose life one avarice joins,

And one fate buries in the Asturian mines.

Much-injured Blunt! 21 why bears he Britain's hate?
A wizard told him in these words our fate:
"At length corruption, like a general flood,
(So long by watchfnl ministers withstood)
Shall deluge all; and avarice creeping on,
Spread like a low-born mist, and blot the sun;
Statesman and patriot ply alike the stocks,
Peeress and butler share alike the box,
And judges job, and bishops bite the town,
And mighty dukes pack cards for half-a-crown.
See Britain sunk in lucre's sordid charms,

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And France revenged on Anne's and Edward's arms!"

'Twas no court-badge, great scrivener, fired thy brain, Nor lordly luxury, nor city gain:

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No, 'twas thy righteous end, ashamed to see

Senates degenerate, patriots, disagree ;

And, nobly wishing party-rage to cease,

To buy both sides, and give thy country peace.
"All this is madness," cries a sober sage:
But who, my friend, has reason in his rage?
"The ruling passion, be it what it will,
The ruling passion conquers reason still."
Less mad the wildest whimsey we can frame,
Than e'en that passion, if it has no aim;
For though such motives folly you may call,

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The folly's greater to have none at all.

Hear then the truth: 'Tis Heaven each passion sends, "And different men directs to different ends.

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Extremes in Nature equal good produce,
Extremes in man concur to general use."

21 Sir John Blunt, originally a scrivener, was one of the first projectors of the South Sea Company, and afterwards one of the directors and chief managers of the famous scheme in 1720. He was also one of those who suffered most severely by the bill of pains and penalties on the said directors. He was a Dissenter, of a most religious deportment, and professed to be a great believer. Whether he did really credit the prophecy here mentioned is not certain, but it was constantly in this very style he declaimed against the corruption and luxury of the age, the partiality of parliaments, and the misery of party-spirit. He was particularly eloquent against avarice in great and noble persons, of which he had indeed lived to see many miserable examples. He died in the year 1732.

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