Cutler and Brutus, dying, both exclaim,
"Virtue! and Wealth! what are ye but a name !"
Say, for fuch worth are other worlds prepar'd? 33
Or are they both, in this, their own reward?
A knotty point! to which we now proceed.
But you are tir'd-I'll tell a tale-B. Agreed.
P. Where London's column, pointing at the skies
Like a tall bully, lifts the head, and lies;
There dwelt a Citizen of fober fame,

A plain good man, and Balaam was his name;
Religious, punctual, frugal, and fo forth;

His word would pass for more than he was worth.
One folid dish his week-day meal affords,

An added pudding folemniz'd the Lord's:

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345

Conftant at Church, and Change; his gains were fure, His givings rare, fave farthings to the poor.

The Devil was piqu'd fuch faintship to behold, And long'd to tempt him, like good Job of old: But Satan now is wiser than of yore,

350

And tempts by making rich, not making poor.
Rouz'd by the Prince of Air, the whirlwinds fweep
The furge, and plunge his Father in the deep;
Then full against his Cornish lands they roar,
And two rich fhipwrecks bless the lucky fhore.
Sir Balaam now, he lives like other folks,
He takes his chirping pint, and cracks his jokes :

355

" Live

VARIATION.

Ver. 337. In the former Editions,

That knotty point, my Lord, fhall I discuss,
Or tell a tale?-A Tale-It follows thus.

"Live like yourself," was foon my Lady's word; And lo! two puddings smoak'd upon the board. 360 Afleep and naked as an Indian lay,

An honeft factor ftole a Gem away:

He pledg'd it to the knight, the knight had wit,
So kept the Diamond, and the rogue was bit.

Some fcruple rofe, but thus he eas'd his thought, 365
I'll now give fixpence where I gave a groat;

"Where once I went to church, I'll now go twice"And am fo clear too of all other vice."

The Tempter faw his time; the work he ply'd;
Stocks and Subscriptions pour on every fide,

Till all the Dæmon makes his full defcent
In one abundant fhower of Cent

per Cent, Sinks deep within him, and poffeffes whole, Then dubs Director, and fecures his foul.

Behold Sir Balaam now a man of spirit,

Afcribes his gettings to his parts and merit;
What late he call'd a Bleffing, now was Wit,

And God's good Providence, a lucky Hit.

Things change their titles, as our manners turn :

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375

His Compting-houfe employ'd the Sunday-morn: 380 Seldom at Church, ('twas fuch a busy life)

But duly fent his family and wife.

There (so the Devil ordain'd) one Christmas-tide
My good old Lady catch'd a cold, and dy'd.

A Nymph of Quality admires our Knight;
He marries, bows at Court, and grows polite :
Leaves the dull Cits, and joins (to please the Fair)
The well-bred cuckolds in St. James's air:

385

Firft, for his Son a gay Commiffion buys,

Who drinks, whores, fights, and in a duel dies:
His Daughter flaunts a Viscount's tawdry wife;
She bears a Coronet and P-x for life.

In Britain's Senate he a feat obtains,
And one more Penfioner St. Stephen gains.
My Lady falls to play: fo bad her chance,
He muft repair it; takes a bribe from France;
The Houfe impeach him, Coningsby harangues;
The Court forfake him, and Sir Balaam hangs;
Wife, fon, and daughter, Satan! are thy own,
His wealth, yet dearer, forfeit to the Crown :
The Devil and the King divide the prize,
And fad Sir Balaam curfes God and dies.

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395

400

EPISTLE IV.

THE extremes of Avarice and Profufion being treated of in the foregoing Epiftle; this takes up one particular branch of the latter, the Vanity of Expence in people of wealth and quality; and is therefore a corollary to the preceding, juft as the epiftle on the Characters of Women is to that of the Knowledge and . Characters of Men. It is equally remarkable for exactness of method with the reft. But the nature of the fubject, which is lefs philofophical, makes it capable of being analyzed in a much narrower compass.

'T'

IS ftrange, the Mifer should his Cares employ To gain those riches he can ne'er enjoy : Is it lefs ftrange, the Prodigal should waste His wealth, to purchase what he ne'er can tafte? Not for himfelf he fees, or hears, or eats; Artists must chufe his Pictures, Mufic, Meats : He buys for Topham Drawings and Defigns; For Pembroke Statues, dirty Gods, and Coins; Rare monkish Manufcripts for Hearne alone, And Books for Mead, and Butterflies for Sloane. Think we all thefe are for himself? no more Than his fine Wife, alas! or finer Whore. For what has Virro painted, built, and planted? Only to fhew, how many tastes he wanted. What brought Sir Visto's ill-got wealth to waste? Some Dæmon whisper'd, "Vito! have a Tafte."

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Heaven vifits with a Tafte the wealthy Fool,
And needs no Rod but Ripley with a Rule.
See! fportive Fate, to punish aukward pride,
Bids Bubo build, and fends him fuch a Guide:
A ftanding fermon, at each year's expence,
That never Coxcomb reach'd magnificence!
You fhow us, Rome was glorious, not profufe,
And pompous buildings once were things of Ufe.
Yet fhall (my Lord) your just, your noble rules
Fill half the land with imitating Fools;

Who random drawings from your sheets shall take,
And of one beauty many blunders make;

Load fome vain Church with old Theatric ftate,
Turn Arts of triumph to a Garden-gate;

Reverse

your ornaments, and hang them all

On fome patch'd dog-hole ek'd with ends of wall;
Then clap four flices of Pilafter on't,

That, lac'd with bits of ruftic, makes a Front.
Shall call the winds through long arcades to roar,
Proud to catch cold at a Venetian door;
Confcious they act a true Palladian part,
And if they starve, they ftarve by rules of art.
Oft have you hinted to your brother Peer,
A certain truth, which many buy too dear:

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35

40 Some

VARIATION.

After ver. 22. in the MS.

Muft Bishops, Lawyers, Statefmen, have the skill To build, to plant, judge paintings, what you will? Then why not Kent as well our treaties draw, Bridgman explain the Gospel, Gibbs the Law?