Page images
PDF
EPUB

has been taken at a distance for a small windmill. But indeed, what principally moved us in his favour was his talent in poetry; for he hath promised to undertake a long work in short verse to celebrate the heroes of our size. He has entertained so great a respect for Statius, on the score of that line,

Major in exiguo regnabat corpore virtus,

that he once designed to translate the whole Thebaid for the sake of little Tydeus.

Tom. Tiptoe, a dapper black fellow, is the most gallant lover of the age. He is particularly nice in his habiliments; and, to the end justice may be done him that way, constantly employs the same artist who makes attire for the neighbouring princes and ladies of quality at Mr. Powel's. The vivacity of his temper inclines him sometimes to boast of the favours of the fair. He was, t'other night, excusing his absence from the club on account of an assignation with a lady (and, as he had the vanity to tell us, a tall one too).

Our politician is a person of real gravity and professed wisdom. Gravity in a man of this size, compared with that of one of ordinary bulk, appears like the gravity of a cat compared with that of a lion. This gentleman is accustomed to talk to himself, and was once overheard to compare his own person to a little cabinet, wherein are locked up all the secrets of state, and refined schemes of princes. His face is pale and meagre, which proceeds from much watching and studying for the welfare of Europe, which is also thought to have stinted his growth; for he hath destroyed his' own constitution with taking care of that of the nation. He is what mons. Balzac calls a great distiller of the

maxims of Tacitus: when he speaks, it is slowly and word by word, as one that is loth to enrich you too fast with his observations; like a limbeck, that gives you, drop by drop, an extract of the simples in it.

The last I shall mention is Tim. Tuck, the hero. He is particularly remarkable for the length of his sword, which intersects his person in a cross line, and makes him appear not unlike a fly, that the boys have run a pin through and set a-walking. He once challenged a tall fellow, for giving him a blow on the pate with his elbow as he passed along the street. But what he especially values himself upon is, that in all the campaigns he has made, he never once duck'd at the whiz of a cannon ball. Tim. was full as large at fourteen years old as he is now. This we are tender of mentioning, your little heroes being generally choleric.

These are the gentlemen that most enliven our conversation: the discourse generally turns upon such accidents, whether fortunate or unfortunate, as are daily occasioned by our size: these we faithfully communicate either as matter of mirth or of consolation to each other. The president had lately an unlucky fall, being unable to keep his legs on a stormy day; whereupon he informed us it was no new disaster, but the same a certain antient poet had been subject to; who is recorded to have been so light, that he was obliged to poise himself against the wind with lead on one side and his own works on the other. The lover confessed the other night that he had been cured of love to a tall woman by reading over the legend of Ragotine in Scarron, with his tea, three mornings successively. Our hero rarely acquaints us with any of his unsuccessful adventures. And as for the politician, he declares himself

S 4

904

hunself an utter eiiciny to all kind of burlesque, so will never discompose the austerity of his aspect by laughing at our adventures, much less discover any of his Whatever he tells of any own in this ludicrous light. accidents that betall him is by way of complaint, nor is he ever laughed at but in his absence,

We

are likewise particularly careful to communi cate in the club all such passages of history, or characters of illustrious personages, as any way reflect honour on little men,

Tim. Tuck having but just readng enough for a military man, perpetually entertains us with the same stories, of little David that conquered the mighty Goliah, and little Luxemburg that made Lewis XIV. a grand monarque, never forgetting little

Alexander

the Great. Dick Distich celebrates the ex

ceeding hi1111anity of Augustus, who called Horace leand is wonderfully pleased homunciolum z

pidissimurre

with Voiture and Scarron, for having so well described
11țive forms to all posterity. He is peremp
'opinion, against a great reader, and all his
tlaat sop was not a jot properer or hand-
above
Fc is represented by the common pictures.

their

of

torily adherents,

soldier believes with the learned person

Somer tha

But the

mentioned

for he thinks none but an impudent tall

Coull be guilty of such an unmanneily piece of little warriors, as his battle of the mouse and The politician is very proud of a certain

author coi

satire on

king of EYPU, called Bocchor, who, as Diodorus as

the frog.

was a person of very low stature, but far ex..

surcs us, ceeded all tics.

that

As I an

went before him in discretion and poli

Ceretary to the club, 'tis my business :ct to take minutes of the transactions:

culars,

abled me to send you the foregoing parti

whenever W

this has, ch

culars, as I may hereafter other memoirs. We have spies appointed in every quarter of the town, to give us informations of the misbehaviour of such refractory persons as refuse to be subject to our statutes. Whatsoever aspiring practices any of these our people shall be guilty of in their amours, single combats, or any indirect means to manhood, we shall certainly be acquainted with, and publish to the world for their punishment and reformation, For the president has granted me the sole propriety of exposing and showing to the town all such intractable dwarfs, whose circumstances exempt them from being carried about. in boxes; reserving only to himself, as the right of a poet, those smart characters that will shine in epigrams. Venerable Nestor, I salute you in the name of the club.

BOB SHORT, Secretary.

SIR,

COURTSHIP. No. 97.

I was left a thousand pounds by an uncle, and being a man to my thinking very likely to get a rich widow, I laid aside all thoughts of making my fortune: any other way, and without loss of time made my application to one who had buried her husband about a week before. By the help of some of her she friends, who were my relations, I got into her company when. she would see no man besides myself and her lawyer, who is a little, rivelled, spindle-shanked.gentleman, and married to boot, so that I had no reason to fear him. Upon my first seeing her, she said in conversa

tion within my hearing, that she thought a pale complexion the most agreeable either in man or woman: now you must know, sir, my face is as white as chalk. This gave me some encouragement: so that, to mend the matter, I bought a fine flaxen long wig that cost ine thirty guineas, and found an opportunity of seeing her in it the next day. She then let drop some expressions about an agate snuff-box. I immediately took the hint and bought one, being unwilling to omit any thing that might make me desirable in her eyes. I was betrayed after the same manner into a brocade waistcoat, a sword-knot, a pair of silverfringed gloves, and a diamond ring. But whether out of fickleness or a design upon me, I cannot tell; but I found by her discourse, that what she liked one day she disliked another: so that in six months space I was forced to equip myself above a dozen times. As I told you before, I took her hints at a distance, for I could never find an opportunity of talking with her directly to the point. All this time, however, I was allowed the utmost familiarities with her lap-dog, and have played with it above an hour together, without receiving the least reprimand, and had many other marks of favour shown me, which I thought amounted to a promise. If she chanced to drop her fan, she received it from my hands with great civility. If she wanted any thing, I reached it for her. I have filled her tea-pot above a hundred times, and have afterwards received a dish of it from her own hands. Now, sir, do you judge if after such encouragements she was not obliged to marry me. I forgot to tell you that I kept a chair by the week, on purpose to carry me thither and back again. Not to trouble you with a long letter, in the space of about a twelvemonth I

« PreviousContinue »