sets easier upon us than when we now and then discharge ourselves in a symphony of laughter, which may not improperly be called the chorus of con

versation.'

DON ALONZO, A STORY. No. 37.

DON ALONZO, a Spanish nobleman, had a beautiful and virtuous wife, with whom he had lived for some years in great tranquillity. The gentleman, however, was not free from the faults usually imputed to his nation; he was proud, suspicious, and impetuous. He kept a Moor in his house, whom, on a complaint from his lady, he had punished for a small offence with the utmost severity. The slave vowed revenge, and communicated his resolution to one of the lady's women with whom he lived in a criminal way. This creature also hated her mistress, for she feared she was observed by her: she therefore undertook to make Don Alonzo jealous, by insinuating that the gardener was often admitted to his lady in private, and promising to make him an eye-witness of it. At a proper time agreed on between her and the Morisco, she sent a message to the gardener, that his lady, having some hasty orders to give him, would have him come that moment to her in her chamber. In the mean time she had placed Alonzo privately in an outer room, that he might observe who passed that way. It was not long before he saw the gardener appcar. Alonzo had not patience, but, following him into the apartment, struck him at one blow with a dagger to the heart; then dragging his lady by the hair, without inquiring further, he instantly killed her.

Here

Here he paused, looking on the dead bodies with all the agitations of a dæmon of revenge; when the wench who had occasioned these terrors, distracted with remorse, threw herself at his feet, and in a voice of lamentation, without sense of the consequence, repeated all her guilt. Alonzo was overwhelmed with all the violent passions at one instant, and uttered the broken voices and motions of each of them for a moment, till at last he recollected himself enough to end his agony of love, anger, disdain, revenge and remorse, by murdering the maid, the Moor, and himself*.

ON NATURAL PLEASURES, PAPER I. No. 49.

It is of great use to consider the pleasures which constitute human happiness, as they are distinguished into Natural and Fantastical. Natural pleasures I call those, which, not depending on the fashion and caprice of any particular age or nation, are suited to human nature in general, and were intended by providence as rewards for the using our faculties agreeably to the ends for which they were given us. Fantastical pleasures are those, which, having no natural fitness to de-. light our minds, presuppose some particular whim or taste accidentally prevailing in a set of people, to which it is owing that they please.

Now I take it, that the tranquillity and cheerfulness with which I have passed my life, are the effect of having, ever since I came to years of discretion, continued my inclinations to the former sort of plea

• In this story is seen the original of Young's play of the flerenge.

sures

sures. But, as my experience can be a rule only to my own actions, it may probably be a stronger motive to induce others to the same scheme of life, if they would consider that, we are prompted to natural pleasures by an instinct impressed on our minds by the author of our nature, who best understands our frames, and consequently best knows what those pleasures are which will give us the least uneasiness in the pursuit, and the greatest satisfaction in the enjoyment of them. Hence it follows, that the objects of our natural desires are cheap or easy to be obtained, it being a maxim that holds throughout the whole system of created beings, that nothing is made in vain, much less the instincts and appetites of animals, which the benevolence as well as wisdom of the deity is con-. cerned to provide for. Nor is the fruition of those objects less pleasing than the acquisition is easy; and the pleasure is heightened by the sense of having answered some natural end, and the consciousness of acting in concert with the supreme governor of the universe.

Under natural pleasures I comprehend those which are universally suited, as well to the rational as the. sensual part of our nature. And of the pleasures which affect our senses, those only are to be esteemed natural that are contained within the rules of reason, which is allowed to be as necessary an ingredient of human nature as sense. And indeed, excesses of any kind are hardly to be esteemed pleasures, much less natural pleasures.

It is evident that a desire terminated in money is fantastical: so is the desire of outward distinctions, which bring no delight of sense, nor recommend us

as

see him upon any occasion, to give spirit to his discourse, admire his own eloquence by a Dimple.

The Ionics are those ladies that take a greater liberty with their features; yet even these may be said to smother a Laugh, as the former to stifle a Smile.

The beau is an Ionic out of complaisance, and practises the Smile the better to sympathize with the fair. He will sometimes join in a laugh to humour the spleen of a lady, or applaud a piece of wit of his own, but always takes care to confine his mouth within the rules of good breeding: he takes the laugh from the ladies, but is never guilty of so great an indecorum as to begin it.

The Ionic laugh is of universal use to men of power at their levees; and is esteemed by judicious placehunters a more particular mark of distinction than the Whisper. A young gentleman of my acquaintance valued himself upon his success, having obtained this favour after the attendance of three months only.

A judicious author some years since published a collection of sonnets, which he very successfully called Laugh and be fat; or, Pills to purge melancholy:' I cannot sufficiently admire the facetious title of these volumes, and must censure the world of ingratitude, while they are so negligent in rewarding the jocose Jabours of my friend Mr. D'Urfey, who was so large a contributor to this treatise, and to whose humorous productions so many rural squires in the remotest parts of this island are obliged for the dignity and state which corpulency gives them. The story of the sick. man's breaking an imposthume by a sudden fit of laughter is too well known to need a recital. It is my opinion, that the above pills would be extremely * proper

proper to be taken with asses' milk, and mightily contribute towards the renewing and restoring decayed lungs. Democritus is generally represented to us as a man of the largest size; which we may attribute to his frequent exercise of his risible faculty. I remember Juvenal says of him:

Perpetuo risu pulmonem agitare solebat.

SAT. 10. ver. 33.

He shook his sides with a perpetual laugh.

That sort of man whom a late writer has called the Butt is a great promoter of this healthful agitattion and is generally stocked with so much good-humour, as to strike in with the gaiety of conversation, though some innocent blunder of his own be the subject of the raillery.

I shall range all old amorous dotards under the denomination of Grinners.

The wag is of the same kind; but he very frequently calls in the Horse-laugh to his assistance.

There are another kind of Grinners, which the antients call Megarics, and some moderns have, not injudiciously, given them the name of the Sneerers. These always indulge their mirth at the expense of their friends, and all their ridicule consists in unseasonable ill-nature. I could wish these laughers would consider, that let them do what they can, there is no laughing away their own follies by laughing at other people's.

The mirth of the tea-table is for the most part Megaric, and in visits the ladies themselves very seldom scruple the sacrificing a friendship to a laugh of this denomination."