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IAM jet-black, as you may see,
The son of pitch and gloomy night:
Yet all that know me will agree

I'm dead, except I live in light.
Sometimes in panegyric high,

Like lofty Pindar I can soar; And raise a virgin to the sky,

Or sink her to a pocky whore."
My blood this day is very sweet,

To-morrow of a bitter juice;
Like milk, 'tis cried about the street,
And so applied to different use.
Most wondrous is my magic pow'r ;
For with one colour I can paint;
I'll make the devil a saint this hour,
Next make a devil of a saint.
Through distant regions I can fly,
Provide me but with paper wings;
And fairly shew a reason why

There should be quarrels ainong kings. And, after all, you'll think it odd,

When learned doctors will dispute, That I should point the word of God, And shew where they can best confute. Let lawyers bawl and strain their throats: 'Tis I that must the lands convey, And strip the clients to their coats; Nay, give their very souls away.

$244. On the Five Senses. ALL of us in one you'll find ;

Brethren of a wondrous kind; Yet among us all no brother Knows one tittle of the other. We in frequent councils are, And our marks of things declare,

Where, to us unknown a clerk Sits and takes them in the dark. He's the register of all

In our ken both great and small;
By us forms his laws and rules;
He's our master, we his tools;
Yet we can with greatest ease
Turn and wind him where we please.

One of us alone can sleep,
Yet no watch the rest will keep;
But the moment that he closes,
Ev'ry brother else reposes.

If wine's bought, or victuals drest, One enjoys them for the rest.

Pierce is all with wounding steel, One for all of us will feel.

Though ten thousand cannons roar, Add to them ten thousand more, Yet but one of us is found Who regards the dreadful sound. Do what is not fit to tell, There's but one of us can smell.

§ 245. On an Echo. NEVER sleeping, still awake,

Pleasing most when most I speak : The delight of old and young, Though I speak without a tongue. Nought but one thing can confound me; Many voices joining round me. Then I fret and rave and gabble Like the labourers of Babel. Now I am a dog or cow,

I can bark, or I can low;

I can bleat, or I can sing
Like the warblers of the spring.
Let the love-sick bard complain,
And I mourn the cruel pain;
Let the happy swain rejoice,
And I join my helping voice;
Both are welcome, grief or joy,
I with either sport and toy.
Though a lady, I am stout,
Drums and trumpets bring me out;
Then I clash, and roar and rattle,
Join in all the din of battle.

Jove, with all his loudest thunder,
When I'm vex'd can't keep me under;
Yet so tender is my ear,
That the lowest voice I fear.
Much I dread the courtier's fate,
When his merit's out of date;
For I hate a silent breath,
And a whisper is my death.

§ 246. On a Shadow in a Glass.
By something form'd, I nothing am,
Yet every thing that you can name;
In no place have ever been,
Yet ev'ry where I may be seen;
In all things false, yet always true,
I'm still the same-but ever new.
Lifeless, life's perfect form I wear,
Can shew a nose, eye, tongue, or ear,
Yet neither smell, see, taste, or hear.

}

All shapes and features I can boast,
No flesh, no bones, no blood-no ghost:
All colours, without paint, put on,
And change like the cameleon.
Swittly I come and enter there
Where not a chink lets in the air;
Like thought, I'm in a moment gone,
Nor can I ever be alone;

All things on earth 1 imitate
Faster than nature can create;
Sometimes imperial robes I wear,
Anon in beggar's rags appear;
A giant now, and straight an elf,
I'm ev'ry one, but ne'er myself;
Ne'er sad, I mourn; ne er glad, rejoice;
'move my lips, but want a voice;
ne'er was born, nor e'er can die:
Then pr'ythee tell me what an I?

§ 247. On Time.

VER eating, never cloying, All devouring, all destroying, ever finding full repast,

ll I eat the world at last.

$248. On the Vowels.

VE are little airy creatures,

All of diff'rent voice and features:

e of us in glass is set,

le of us you'll find in jet ;
ather you may see in tin,
id the fourth a box within;
the fifth you should pursue,
can never Hy from you.

$249. On Snow.

ROM heaven I fall, tho' from earth I begin, No lady alive can shew such a skin. n bright as an angel, and light as a feather, theavy and dark when you squecze me together.

ough candour and truth in my aspect I bear, t many poor creatures I help to ensnare. ough so much of heaven appears in my make,

e foulest impressions I easily take.

y parent and I produce one another,

e mother the daughter, the daughter the

mother.

§ 250. On a Cannon.

PROTTEN, and born, and dving with noise, The terror of women, and pleasure of boys; ke the fiction of poets concerning the wind, n chiefly unruly when strongest confin'd. or silver and gold I don't trouble my head, at all I delight in is pieces of lead;

• The name of an Irish servant.

Except when I trade with a ship or a town,
Why then I make pieces of iron go down.
One property more I would have you remark,
No lady was ever more fond of a spark;
The moment I get one, my soul's all a-fire,
And I roar out myjoy, and in transport expire

$ 251. To Quilca, a Country-House of Dr. Sheridan, in no very good Repair. 1725. LET me thy properties explain:

A rotten cabin, dropping rain;
Chimnies with scorn rejecting smoke;
Stools, tables, chairs, and bedsteads broke.
Here elements have lost their uses:
Air ripens not, nor earth produces;
In vain we make poor Sheelah' toil,
Fire will not roast, nor water boil,
Through all the valleys, hills, and plains,
The goddess Want in triumph reigns:
And her chief officers of state,

Sloth, Dirt, and Theft, around her wait.

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"rent;

"Whatever they give me, I must be content,
Orjcia with the court in every debate ;
And rather than that I would lose my estate.”

Sir Arthur Acheson, at whose seat this was written.

A large old house, two miles from Sir Arthur's seat.
Le almy in Ireland is lodged in strong buildings over the whole kingdom, called barracks.

Thus

Thus ended the Knight. Thus began his meek wife:

You honour me much."-" The honour is

" mine."

"Twas a sad rainy night."—"But the morn "ing is fine."

" Pray how does my lady?"-" My wife's at your service."

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It must and it shall be a barrack, my life. "I'm grown a mere mopus; no company comes But a rabble of tenants and rusty dull rums: With p parsons what lady can keep herself clean? "I'm all over daub'd when I sit by the Dean:" I think I have seen her picture by Jervas."-"But if you will give us a barrack, my dear, "Good-morrow, good Captain, I'll wait on "The Captain, I'm sure, will always come here; "you down." I then shall not value his Deanship a straw, "For the Captain, I warrant, will keep him in

<< awe;

"You shan't stir a foot."—" You'll think me "a clown.

For all the world, Captain."—" Not han "inch farther."

"Or, should he pretend to be brisk and alert, "Will tell him that Chaplains should not be "You must be obey'd!"—“ Your servant. St

[their pray'rs,

"Arthur!

"so pert; "That men of his coat should be minding" My humble respects to my Lady unknownTM And not among ladies to give themselves airs."" I hope you will use my house as your own Thus argued my Lady, but argued in vain; "Go bring me my smock, and leave of The Knight his opinion resolv'd to maintain.

But Hannah, who listen'd to all that was And could not endure so vulgar a taste, [past, As soon as her Ladyship call'd to be drest, Cried, "Madam, why surely my master's pos

" sest.

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"your prate,

Thou hast certainly got a cup in thy pate "Pray, madam, be quiet, what was it I st "You had like to have put it quite out of "head.

"Next day, to be sure, the Captain will ex "Sir Arthur the maltster! how fine it will" At the head of his troops with trumpet "" sound!

“drum.

"I'd rather the bawn were sunk underground." Now, madam, observe how he marches: "But, madam, I guess'd there would never

"come good,

When I saw him so often with Darby‡ and

Wood.

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[dream'd" Dub, dub, adub, dub. The trumpeters fr "And now my dream's out; for I was a-" Tantara, tantara; while all the boys has "That I saw a huge rat-O dear, how I" See now comes the Captain, all daub'd vi "scream'd!

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"And after, methought, I had lost my new "And Molly, she said I should hear some ill" And see how he rides like a lord of the "With the fine flaining sword that he ba " in his hand;

"news.

"Dear madam, had you but the spirit to tease, "You might have a barrack whenever you" And his horse, the dear creler, it prances s "please:

"rears;

Drawn up in our court; when the Cap "cries, STAND!

“And, madam, I always believ'd you so stout," With ribbons in knots at its tail and its "That for twenty denials you would not give At last comes the troop, by the word of e "If I had a husband like him, I purtest. [out. "mand, Till he gave me my will, I would give him" [sheets "And, rather than come in the same pair of « With such a cross man, I would lie in the“ "streets :

"no rest ;

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"But, madam, I beg you, contrive and invent, "And worry him out till he gives his consent." Looks up to your window, and coc' 2 "Dear madam, whene'er of a barrack I think, "An' I were to be hang`d, I can't sleep a wink:" (His beaver is cock'd; pray, madam, "For if a new crotchet comes into my brain, "I can't get it out, though I never so fain.

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"Your Ladyship smiles, and thus you begin: " Your + Noveds, and Bluturks, and Omurs, "Pray, Captain, be pleas'd to alight and walk "and stuff, "in." [found," By G-, they don't signify this pinch of snuff "The Captain salutes you with congee pro- To give a young gentleman right education, "And your Ladyship curtsies half way to the "The army's the only good school in the nation: "ground. "My schoolmaster call'd me a dunce and a fool, "Kit, run to your master, and hid him come" But at cuffs I was always the cock of the

"to us:

[us.

" school:

"of me,

"I'm sure he'll be proud of the honour you do" I never could take to my book for the blood "And, Captain, you'll do us the favour to stay And take a short dinner here with us to-day?" "You're heartily welcome: but as for good

And the puppy confess'd he expected no "good o' me. [wife, "He caught me one morning coquetting his "You come in the very worst time of the year;" But he maul'd me, I ne'er was so maul'd in "If I had expected so worthy a guest"

"cheer,

"my life:

"Lord! madam! your ladyship sure is in jest:"So I took to the road; and what's very odd, "You banter me, madam, the kingdom must" The first man I robb'd was a Parson, by G→, "Now, madam, you'll think it a strange thing

"grant-"

You officers, Captain, are so complaisant !"
Hist,hussy, I think I hear somebody coming.""
'No, madam, 'tis only Sir Arthur a humming.
To shorten my tale (for I hate a long story)
The Captain at dinner appears in his glory
The Dean and the Doctor have humbled"
"their pride,

"to say,

But the sight of a book makes me sick to this "day.'

"Never since I was born did I hear so much wit;

And, madam, I laugh'd till I thought I "should split. [Dean, For the Captain's entreated to sit by your side:" So then you look'd scornful, and snift at the And, because he's their betters, you carve for " As who should say, Now, am I skinny and

"him first:

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"But he durst not so much as once open his

lips,

And the Doctor was plaguily down in the "hips."

The Parsons for envy are ready to burst.
The servants amazed are scarce ever able [ble;
To keep off their eyes, as they wait at the ta-"
And Molly and I have thrust in our nose
To peep at the Captain in all his fine clo'es. Thus merciless Hannah ran on in her talk,
Dear madam, be sure he's a fine-spoken man, Till she heard the Dean call," Will your La-
Do but hear on the Clergy how glib his

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"live.

I ne'er knew a Parson without a good nose:
Butthe Devil's as welcome wherever he goes:
G-d-n me! they bid us reform and repent,
But, z-s! by their looks they never keep
"Lent!

Mister Curate, for all your grave looks, I'm
"afraid

Youcast a sheep's eye on her Ladyship's maid: I wish she would lend you her pretty white "hand.

In mending your cassock, and smoothing ," your band

(For the Dean was so shabby, and look'd "like a ninny,

That the Captain suppos'd he was curate to
“Jinny).

Whenever you see a cassock and gown,
A hundred to one but it covers a clown.
Observe how a Parson comes into a room ;
G-d-n me! he hobbles as bad as my groom:
A scollard, when just from his college broke
"loose,

Can hardly tell how to cry bo to a goose:

"dyship walk?"

Her Ladyship answers, "I'm just coming
"down:"

Then turning to Hannah, and forcinga frown,
Altho' it was plain in her heart she was glad,
Cried Hussy! why sure the wench is gone
"mad!

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They argue no corrupted mind
In him; the fault is in mankind.

This maxim more than all the rest Is thought too base for human breast: "In all distresses of our friends, "We first consult our private ends; "While nature, kindly bent to ease us, "Points out some circumstance to please us.' If this perhaps your patience move, Let reason and experience prove.

We all behold with envious eyes
Our equals rais'd above our size.
Who would not at a crowded show
Stand high himself, keep others low?
I love my friend as well as you;
But why should he obstruct my view?
Then let me have the higher post,
Suppose it but an inch at most.
If in a battle you should find
One, whom you love of all mankind,
Had some heroic action done,
A champion kill'd, or trophy won;
Rather than thus be over-topt,
Would you not wish his laurels cropt?
Dear honest Ned is in the gout,
Lies rack'd with pain, and
you
without:
How patiently you hear him groan!
How glad the case is not your own!

What poet would not grieve to see
His brothers write as well as he?
But, rather than they should excel.
Would wish his rivals all in hell.

Her end when emulation misses,
She turns to envy, stings and hisses:
The strongest friendship yields to pride,
Unless the odds be on our side.
Vain hunan kind! fantastic race!
Thy various follies who can trace?
Self-love, ambition, envy, pride,
Their empire in our hearts divide.
Give others riches, pow'r, and station,
'Tis all to me an usurpation.
I have no title to aspire;

Yet, when you sink, I seem the higher.
In Pope I cannot read a line,
But, with a sigh, I wish it mine:
When he can in one couplet fix
More sense than I can do in six,
It gives me such a jelous fit,

I tiv, "Pox take him and his wit!"
1 grieve to be outdone by Gay
In my own humorous, biting way.
Arbuthnot is no more my friend,
Who dares to irony pretend,
Which I was born to introduce,
Refin'd it first, and shew'd its use.
St. John, as well as Pulteney, knows
That I had some reputé for prose;
And, till they drove me out of date,
Could maul à minister of state.
If they have mortífied my pride,
And made me throw my pen aside;

1 with such talents Heaven hath bless'd 'em, Have I not reason to detest 'em?

To all my foes, dear Fortune, send
Thy gifts, but never to my friend:
I tamely can endure the first;
But this with envy makes me burst.
Thus much may serve by way of proem
Proceed we therefore to our poem.

The time is not remote, when I Must, by the course of nature, die! When, I foresee, my special friends Will try to find their private ends: And, though 'tis hardly understood Which way my death can do them good, Yet thus, methinks, I hear them speak: "See how the Dean begins to break! "Poor gentleman, he droops apace! "You plainly find it in his face. "That old vertigo in his head "Will never leave him till he's dead. "Besides, his memory decays: "He recollects not what he says: "He cannot call his friends to mind;

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Forgets the place where last he din'd; "Plies you with stories o'er and o'er; "He told them fifty times before. "How does he fancy we can sit "To hear his out of fashion'd wit? "But he takes up with younger folks, "Who for his wine will bear his jokes.

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'Faith he must make his stories shorter, "Or change his comrades once a quarter: "In half the time he talks them round 66 There must another set be found. "For poetry he's past his prime: He takes au hour to find a rhime; His fire is out, his wit decay'd, His fancy sunk, his Muse a jade. "I'd have him throw away his pen; But there's no talking to some men!" And then their tenderness appears By adding largely to my years: "He's older than he would be reckond. And well remembers Charles the Second "He hardly drinks a pint of wine; "And that I doubt is no good sigu.

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His stomach too begins to fail: "Last year we thought him strong and ha "But now he's quite another thing: "I wish he may hold out till spring!" They hug themselves, and reason thus: "It is not yet so bad with us!"

In such a case, they talk in tropes,
And by their fears express their hopes
Some great misfortune to portend,
No enemy can match a friend;
With all the kindness they profess,
The merit of a lucky guess

(When daily how-d'ye's come of course.
And servants answer, ** Worse and wors.
Would please them better, than to tell
That, God be prais'd, the Dean is well.
Then he who prophesied the best,
Approves his foresight to the rest:
"You know I always fear'd the worst,
"Aud often told you so at first."

Hel

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