OPEN-MINDED WILLIAM (having come ashore from "The Stormy Petrel"). "AVAST THERE, MESSMATES! THE STATESMAN WHO WOULD LAY HIS HANDS ON A STEEPLE-HATTED FEMALE IN DISTRESS,-SAVE IN THE WAY OF KE-INDNESS," &c., &c. [The "Messmates" "avast" accordingly. "Mr. G." withdrew his pair with Mr. VILLIERS in order to keep "an open mind" on the Welsh Disestablishment Question. ROUNDABOUT READINGS. MESSRS. ARKWRIGHT, CUNLIFFE, and WARNER have received their blues from the Captain of the Oxford University Eleven. In other words, these gentlemen will help to represent their University in the cricket match against Cambridge. My congratulations, though they come late, are none the less hearty and sincere. Can any years of success in after life efface the memory or outrival the delight of that crowded moment of glorious life which comes to a young man when his Captain tells him he may get his blue? Thenceforward he is made one with the great company of old blues, who year by year meet and exchange reminiscences, the honour of his University is in his hands, his father becomes less rigorous in his financial views, and his mother is confirmed in her opinion that her darling is the brightest and best and handsomest of created beings. These keen joys come but once in a lifetime, and only to a few. 66 WHEN I was a freshman at Cambridge (eheu fugaces!) I remember being both impressed and terrified at having pointed out to me a tutor of a certain College who was said to be the hero of a Bacchanalian incident. The story went that the tutor, returning from some feast with a party of friends, fell, by mischance, into one of the narrow streams of water that flow at the side of the Cambridge streets. Striking out vigorously, he shouted, Save the rest, I can swim." No doubt the story is still told, for the supposed hero of it is still alive. Indeed, when a caricature of him was published some years ago in Vanity Fair, the biography by JEHU JUNIOR closed with the words, He can swim." Yet the story, as affecting Mr. DASH, of Blank College, is manifestly false, for it is older than the century. The curious may find it in its original form in the lately published volume of S. T. COLERIDGE's letters. The poet relates it of an undergraduate of his day who had taken part in a drunken revel. 66 Besides, I'm here for pleasure, and I do not want to prance, 66 I NOTE from a correspondence in The Scotsman that a considerable amount of feeling has been aroused by the erection of the new North British Railway Hotel in Princes Street. Lord WEMYSS, apparently, has declared not only that it will spoil the view, but also that it will will have " pierce the vault of heaven." Another correspondent adds that it the matter at once. Someone else complains of "those terrible a Jennerised, unreposeful front.' That ought to settle advertisements of drugs and fluid beef which extend in gigantic letters along the side of the lower part of the Carlton Hill, and which catch the unwilling eye of anyone looking from the Bridges, from the Mound, and indeed from any part of the Old Town." What with advertisements of drugs and fluid beef, and a new hotel possessing a Jennerised, unreposeful front, obviously Edinburgh is in a bad way. MR. C. J. WALTON, of Wolverhampton, writes to the Birmingham Daily Gazette with reference to a recent appeal on behalf of the victims of the "Liberator" frauds. "I fail entirely to see," he says, "how a member of the Church of England can be expected to make the slightest sacrifice (except on the principle of Christian charity), seeing that the whole idea of the Liberator' scheme was to find funds for the agitators whose sole aim was the robbery and destruction of the Church of England as a national institution, and to get hold of its funds for secular and non-religious purposes.' Dear me, dear me, how strange, how terrible, how muddle-headed. This poor politician has evidently got mixed up between the Liberator and the Liberation Society." Let him take the hint, and send in his subscription. OUR BOOKING-OFFICE. THE Convict Ship, CLARK RUSSELL'S latest novel (CHATTO AND WINDUS), is redolent of the sea. There is no writer, not forgetting MARRYAT, who has such close companionship with the sea in its multiple forms and its many moods. The temptation to transfer some of the ever-varying pictures of the sea which sparkle in these pages is great but must be resisted. Here is a glimpse of night at sea, chosen not because it is best, but because it is shortest: "The mighty shadow of the ocean night was majestic and awful, with the wild, flashful colouring of lightning in the south, and the dustlike multitude of stars over the three glooming spires of our ship.' One would suppose that, sitting down to write, CLARK RUSSELL had just come home from a long trip foreign, or at least lived his life somewhere within sight and sound of the sea. The pity of it is, my Baronite tells me, that this incomparable student of the sea, of ships that go down upon the waters, and of those who people them, lies BUT the ways of stories are at all times inscrutable. I have myself I confess it without a blush-deliberately invented and because it struck me as containing elements of humour. Besides, it not only might have happened, but ought to have happened. A year or two later six gentlemen, who had been present when the incident did not occur, related it back to me, each one with a little special at anchor on his sofa in an inland town. He has not looked upon embellishment of his own. Some of them were magistrates, most of the sea for a dozen years, nor smelt its brine, nor watched a ship them were fathers of families, and all were honourable men. Yet coming or going. This makes the more marvellous the power of they were all prepared to stake their reputations on the absolute veracity of this myth; and, what is even more curious, they retailed it to its inventor and disseminator. LYTHAM is troubled. I read that "the musical attractions at the Pier Pavilion have been fairly patronised, and dancing on the pier is to be resumed." This latter attraction, it appears, has not met with the entire approval of the Lytham people, who contend that it will bring Lytham into disrepute. "The Ratepayers' Association have had the matter under consideration, and have disclaimed any connection with the innovation. The directors, however, have had the question under discussion, and have decided to continue the dancing." SAID the pier-man to the tourist, "Lo, the tide is flowing free; description of sea life in all its forms here displayed. Beyond this special gift, fascinating to some people, Mr. RUSSELL has a story to tell, a good stout sea story, full of life and adventure, through the devious movements of which we meet real men and one woman. it is pleasant to bear testimony to the fact that he seems to have saved Remembering that CLARK RUSSELL now ranks as a veteran novelist, his best wine to the last. The Convict Ship is, take it from stem to stern, the best work he has yet turned out. 66 THE B. DE B.-W. "N.B."-Glasgow will have to look after its parks. Here is the Town Council actually dreaming of "feuing" some of "the recentlyacquired Camphill grounds" for building purposes! These grounds belong to the people, and adjoin the South Side Park, and "the amenity of that park would be destroyed" by building operations. One protester says South Side Park is the prettiest in Glasgow, and more like the London parks, which I regard as the finest in the kingdom." Thanks, worthy Scot! The view of it, as seen through the railings in the Pollokshaws Road," reminds him of "the fine view of Hyde Park which is to be had through the railing in that busy and lovely thoroughfare-Oxford Street." Thanks again, thrice worthy Pict! But Oxford Street a "lovely thoroughfare"-well! At any rate, the Glasgow Bailies when next they are disposed to "feu," should think of the "Many" instead. 66 GERMANY AND FRANCE AT THE THEATRES.-Capital fun at DRuRIOLANUS'S Drury Lane, by the Ducal Court Company. Farcical Comedy, HASEMANN's Töchter, played by the Ducal Creatures. How we have been going it in the theatrical world! SARA in French! DUSE in Italian! and now the clever people of SaxeCoburg and Gotha ("You'll Go-tha and Fee 'em!") to finish with. By the way, SARA not to be beaten by anybody as La Tosca. Fascinating and terrible as ever. In the knife, corpse, and candle scene, awful. Fine play, but"Horrible! Most horrible! " Quite comforting, when curtain descends on that Act, to remember that "it's only purtendin'." A SINGULAR entry was on Tuesday, June 18, made in Mr. INGLEFIELD's visitors' (House of Commons) book. "Mr. DISRAELI— Mr. GLADSTONE." It was Mr. C. DISRAELI introducing as a visitor a Mr. GLADSTONE of Liverpool. A very "singular entry " indeed, had it been the ghost of Big Ben himself! DR. W. GRACE'S FAVOURITE DISH.-"Batter pudding." "A LITTLE KNOWLEDGE," &c. MERRY MAY OUR KIEL CROW! (BY A WEE GERMAN LADDIE). "Merry may our Kiel grow, Our Kiel grow, our Kiel grow, With ships from sea to sea, O! "The Vaterland reposes, As though on beds of roses, Whilst we hold up our noses, Among the Naval Powers, O! Merry may our Kiel grow, &c. "The Frank desires to mizzle, His Panama's a fizzle. BULL, in his land of drizzle, Is jealous as can be, O! [&c." But merry may our Kiel grow, MR. F. J. HORNIMAN, F.R.G.S., tea-merchant, has accepted the invitation to oppose Mr. CAVENDISH BENTINCK, Conservative M.P., for the united borough of Penryn, Flushing, and Falmouth. It is anticipated, says the Western Daily Mercury. that he will make a good candidate. Certainly he ought to be able to suit the constituency to a T, unless it continues faithful to its CAVENDISH, in which case his candidature will end in smoke. Mr. HORNIMAN, no doubt, will welcome an early general election, because the longer he stands the greater prospect of his getting what schoolboys call a tannin'." NEW SONG.-"Goodness' Nose," Sissy. "MAMMA, DOES DEMI-TOILETTE MEAN HALF-DRESSED, LIKE By the author of 66 Beauty's MRS. ROBINS IS WHEN SHE COMES HERE to DINNER?" CHATS WITH THE CHILDREN. A COMIC RAILWAY JOURNEY. Miss Prunes-Prism. And now, my dear charges, I trust you have utilised the hour that has been hypothecated to enjoyment profitably. Emily. Indeed we have, dear governess. I have read to my brother and sister a most amusing account of a railway traveller who wished to get from Bangor to Euston in five hours, and was baffled in the well-intentioned attempt by the clever ingenuity of the railway companies! Miss Prunes-Prism. You refer, no doubt, to the gentleman who, having left Bangor at 7.55, reached Llandudno at 8.5, Colwyn Bay at 8.41, Abergele at 8.52. Rhyl at 9.2, and Chester at 9.56. Margaret. Yes, dear Miss PRUNES-PRISM; and it is at that point the fun of the railway companies came in. Having arrived at 9.56 he found that the train for London had already left. It was timed to depart for the metropolis exactly one minute before the arrival of his train at 9.55! Emily. Indeed, dear governess, the story is vastly entertaining. Then there is a similar arrangement at Crewe Junction. At that centre of popularity a train arrives from a provincial source at 10.48, just one minute later than the advertised time for the departure of the London train. Those who have the framing of these traffic arrangements must be wags of the first water! Miss Prunes-Prism. No doubt they are. And now, my dear CHARLES, supposing your dear papa wished to get from Bangor to Euston, what would you advise him to do? Charles. I should recommend him to walk. Miss Prunes-Prism. I think, my dear child, that your counsel would be sound. And now, my dear charges, having enjoyed our chat, let us return with renewed energy to the consideration of the principal incidents of Magna Charta. SERIES TO SUCCEED "THE PENNY POETS."-"The TuppennyHa'penny Poetasters." To include the lays of the Logrollerites, and the leading aspirants to the Laureateship. Eyes" !! THERE has been much excitement in Sheffield about the School Board. The unsectarian party had a chance of converting a minority of one into a majority of the same extent, owing to the retirement of one Church member, and the serious illness of another, Father BURKE, who was thereby prevented from attending the Board meeting for the election of a new member. Mr. CHARLES HOBSON, however, refused to take advantage of an accident to reverse for the next two years and a half the policy of the Board laid down by a majority of the ratepavers, and chose what he considered the better part of pairing with Father BURKE. Therefore was the chairman enabled to give a casting vote in favour of the Church candidate. But 'Hobson's Choice has not pleased his candid friends, who think, and say, that it is "not war," nor even magnificent. The blades must needs keep up the credit of their native place by making cutting remarks. They come from Sheffield. 66 Who Threw It? Joy in the Church, confusion in the chapel, It may be questioned if the Eris-apple Gendered more strife than "Mr. GLADSTONE's Pair." Cyclists, 285 'Arry and the New Woman, 2:0 Daudet! 270 Death in the Cup, 24 Decadent Lover of Fiction (The), 66 Derby Dialogue (A), 255 Discovery of London (The), 257 "Divided Duty" (A), 30 Doing a Cathedral, 160 Introspective Bard (The), 154 Irish Astronomy, 109 JAP in the China Shop (The), 195 John stands Aloof, 210 John Stuart Blackie, 123 New Chivalry (The), 168 New Year, 4 New Year Notions, 4 "KEY-NOTE -ORIOUS Mrs. Ebbsmith," 148 New Year's Day Dream (The), 15 LA Diva at Daly's, 267 Kind Inquiry (A), 287 Knight of the Willow (A), 274 Lament (A), 285 Last Tournament (The), 803 Latest Craze (The), 193 'Arry and the Battersea Park Lady Dramatic Common Senser-ship (The), 136 Laureate Society (The), 47 "Art is Long-," 69 Artistic" Frost" (AL), 87 As Broad as Long, 269 Ascent of Man (The), 277 "As Simple as Italian," 288 At a Yeomanry Review, 280 At the Banquet, Saturday, May 4, 221 Awful Revelations, 143 BARY'S Diary, 209 Baii Up! 129 Ballad of the Unsurprised Judge, 167 Battle of Eastbourne (The), 216 Battle of Evesham (The), 58 "Better late than never," 183 Between the Lines, 244 Bismarck's Birthday, 159 Black Magic, 48 Blind Allegories, 184, 196, 208, 225 Bold J. H. Taylor, 298 "Bon jour, Philippine!" 18 Bonnie W. G., 29 Bookmakers on the Beach, 256 Boot-bills of Narcissus (The), 101 Bould Soger Boys at Islington (The), 255 Boys and Girls come out to-Panto- "Brains for Cash," 217 Bubbles from the Baltic, 204 Bye-Election Lay (A), 154 CABINET Council Record (A), 105 Cabinet Secret (A), 35 Carmencita, 204 Century of Centuries (A), 241 Chats with the Children, 310 Check! 141 Chino-Japanese Calendar (A), 181 Chronicles of a Rural Parish, 5, 24, 34 Cock and Bull Story (A), 165 EASTER 'Oliday (An), 186 Easy Chair (The), 138 Ecuador Bondholder's Song (The), 101 Essence of Parliament. 71, 88, 95, 107, FAIR Children in Grafton Street, 231 Filia pulchra, Mater pulchrior, 209 "For this relief, much thanks !" 208 From the Queer and Yellow Book, 58 GAME of Draughts (The), 149 Goose and the Eagle (The), 287 Old Ferryman's New Fare (The), 6 Operatic Notes, 245, 257, 269, 281, 293, 301 Our Booking-Office, 21, 29, 48, 60, 61, 77, Our Next little Battle, 189 Overheard Fragment of a Dialogue, 24 PARTY Politics, 198 "Penny plain-but Oscar coloured," 36 "Pity the Poor Artist!" 66 Plea for the Ghosts (A), 73 Pleasures of Travel (The), 113 Poet and his Interviewers (The), 244 Polite Guide to the Civil Service (The), 10 Minor Poetry in the Sere and Yellow Premier's Cruise (The), 246 Leaf, 178 Mismanaged Accident (A), 181 Missed Chance (A), 299 Moan in Maytime (A), 251 Model Remodelled (A), 273 Modern Buyer (The), 213 Hints to Skaters on Etiquette and De- Modern Theatre Laugh (The), 4 portment, 73 His Favourite Subject, 207 History repeats itself, 171 Hopeless Case (A), 113 How (of course) it is not done, 250 How to control and rectify Public How to Write an Extra Number, 9 Interviewer's Vade Mecum (The), 112 Modes and Metals, 238 Mr. Punch at a Picture Show, 189 Mr. Punch Welcomes the New Year, 1 Mrs. A.'s at Home, 77 Mrs. Bloomer, 36 "Music hath Charms," 147 My Influenza, 137 My Partner, 135 My Petty Jayne! 29 My Pipe, 201 NAVAL Architecture, 299 |