MR. PUNCH AT A PICTURE SHOW. AIR.-" My Old Friend John." But we foregather yet. [pride- Your pencil-strokes struck true; Our friendship moults no feather; Can forty years and more have run Since we were "boys" together? Since we were boys, merry, merry At our old Board together! [boys, I gaze and proudly ponder, JOHN ; I've seen them all beforeGLADSTONE, BRIGHT, DIZZY, BULL! -Well done!!! Fresh as in days of yore The Big Cuts gleam. By sea and stream, Moor, mountain,ice-field, heather, Force, grace, fair fun mark all you've done, Since we were "boys" together. Chorus all" Round the Mahogany Since we were boys, merry, merry OUR NEXT LITTLE BATTLE. FANCY PORTRAIT. SIR G-RGE L-W-S. "BOLD OF YOUR WORTHINESS, WE SINGLE YOU Love's Labour's Lost, Act II., Sc. 1. followed retreating enemy for many miles While these operations being carried out 17th Battalion of Cutandthrust Regiment NOWHAR, April 1.-Wett River crossed flank of Muffs. Enemy opposed charge with made assault on fortress protecting right yesterday in most brilliant style. Dashaway well-sustained artillery fire, which had it been Regiment carried landing at point of bayonet, more judiciously directed might have caused the Muffs keeping up considerable annoyance. well-directed fire during Cutandthrusts lowered their heads to allow As it was, many the entire operation. of undisturbed passage of shrapnell. On However, they seemed to feel effect of our artil-reaching walls redcoats hopped over like lery and Maxims. birds. Garrison stubbornly defended posi-. tion. Cutandthrusts extended, advancing in their new formation. With wild cheer they again charged. Although this advance caused Muffs to fall back, they still retained their ground. At this moment machine-guns of battalion were brought into play with best results. A couple of rounds immediately broke up enemy's columns and put them to flight. Muffs were then routed by 53rd Regiment of Indian Tiger Eaters. When landing effected, Sapping Miners constructed iron bridge (with glass covering to protect the troops from the rain) within fiveand-twenty minutes. During the construction Muffs fired continuously at working parties. Flag-staffs riddled with shot, consequently colours could not be run up. A round from couple of quick-firing guns cleared heights of human obstructions. On completion of bridge, two troops of 147th Irregular Prancers charged enemy with much dash. As gallant horsemen approached Muffs (numbering about twenty thousand) concentrated their fire. For few minutes Irregulars had to pass through perfect fog of bullets. This ordeal did not damp their courage; soon came to close quarters with of bugles exploring party "ceased firing," British. Later. I have just received a return of foe. In a moment Muffs were in confusion, NEW NAME FOR Ir (by Brother Bung).flying, before pursuing sabres. Irregulars Local Hop-shun! To getting their own wicked way; But cocky Minority has such authority, His should be absolute sway. If things are at evens at-well, say St. Stephen's, Spring Gardens, wherever you like, 'Tis a mere deadlock (like New Woman wedlock), And against Progress we strike. Must be my labour of love. 'Tis-to let the Minority sway! Then yield to Minority-cocky Minority, On Boards or of Council or School! Hooray for Minority-bumptious Minority! Come-let Minority rule! That I securely might propose Her frank "The best of friends, THERE WERE SEASONS (CORRESPONDING TO OUR EASTER, &c.) WHEN THE INHABITANTS OF ONE ACCORD GAVE THEMSELVES UP TO RELAXATION AND AMUSEMENT ! LINES IN PLEASANT PLACES. THE LAND OF DREAMS. THERE's a wondrous fairy kingdom 'Tis the land where man attaineth And the laurel crowns his lyre: 'Tis the land of fur and feather, And your powder's always straightest There with ease the patient golfer And the batsman get his hundred, There old IZAAK's keen disciple 'Tis a land where someone meets you You may never meet elsewhere, 'Tis a land where words are whispered You may whisper only there; 'Tis the home of youth and sunshine Where you taste of joy's extremes, For, of course, there's someone loves you 'Tis a land of peace and quiet, 'Tis a land where rates and taxes TO A PRETTY GIRL. That's more than edi- bloated purses. To gain your thanks in such a way, I'd write you verses night and day. You don't return them, saying you Regret you cannot now accept them. Or, scrawled with marks in blatant blue, To show that, ruined, you have kept them. If you would pay me with a smile, I'd write you verses by the mile. If you could only say that you ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT. EXTRACTED FROM THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P. House of Commons, Monday Night, April 8.-House to-night presented that appearance seen only on big occasions. Long unfamiliar in slough of despond in which present House been steeped since Session opened. Every seat on either side occupied. Members sitting on Gangway steps, flooding the side galleries, blocking the Bar, peopling even the steps of the Chair. ARTHUR PEEL is leaving historic stage graced through eleven years in fashion that has added fresh fame to an illustrious name. On ordinary occasions when SPEAKER rises to address House on current topics of business, Members who chance to have their hats on keep them there. Now, when the stately figure is discovered standing under the canopy of the Chair, Members without concert, but with one accord, bare their heads. Throughout a moving scene, which crammed much into fifteen minutes, nothing more striking than this simultaneous, swift uncovering of the head, and the transformation that followed when the rare sunlight, streaming in from western windows, fell upon five hundred unshaded faces all turned fowards the tall, gowned figure standing by the Chair. The speech will be read to-morrow by millions, who will find it word for word and sentence by sentence in the newspapers. But the reader will gain but faint idea of the impression the delivery produced. The historic place, the animated scene, the electric current of such a gathering, were much. The effect was perfected by the elocution of the SPEAKER, perhaps the most perfect development of an attractive but dangerous art possessed by living man. What possibilities underlie its possession were wonderingly recognised in the last days of the late Parliament, when the directors of the Cambrian Railway Company were brought to the Bar of the House in connection with the dismissal of a stationmaster who had given unwelcome evidence before a Select Committee. House in the ludicrous pickle which invariably follows on Privilege proceedings. Directors summoned to attend were somewhere in the lobby. If it had been permissible to follow |