V&CSc IMONE BAIL UP! "HI, BILLY! ARE YER MOVIN'?" OUR BOOKING-OFFICE. THE Baron is not aware whether the volume before him, Japhet in Search of a Father, is the first of Captain MARRYAT'S works re-issued by MACMILLAN; but the Baron, speaking on behalf of Mr. Punch, is indeed delighted to welcome a very old friend, and hopes to see many more of Captain MARRYAT'S able and amusing crew. "If the gallant Captain, R.N., with his true can ?" asks the Baron, and pauses not for a British sailors, cannot command a sale, who reply. It is to be hoped that Midshipman Easy is still on board. The Baron anticipates great pleasure from renewing the acquaintance of that gay sea puppy. Quite a Happy Thought, Why not republish MARRYAT? We will." So all hands to the re-issue, and success to it, quoth the nautical BARON DE BOOK-WORMS. PSALTER AND SALTA.-Aided by the careful arrangement of "contents" (and with regard to "Mr. G.'s" latest publication there are no "non-contents") the reader can easily find any GOOD OMEN.-One of the Directors of a passage in this "Psalter." At this moment New Water Company is Sir SPENCER WELLS. there is another "Salta" to which the atten- Everyone well knows the genuine value of tion of not a few is directed, and the non-con- the Sparkling Wells. Will the worthy Bart., tents or anti-Jabezites know that it is very as the Mädchens do at the Elisa Fountain, difficult to get at him, or to find a passage serve out "the Harefield" (not Hare-aërated) out of that Salta for J. B. IF ever there were a clergyman's name, and title, suggestive of the Militantest of the Church Militant, it is "Canon GORE." "and Springwell waters at a much-frequented bar, and be thenceforth known as Sir Dis-pensary WELLS? We wish them all success. "Water, water, everywhere, and plenty fit to drink!" TO MRS. KEELEY.' ["Some time ago HER MAJESTY inquired after Mrs. KEELEY, and was informed that she was well and in her ninetieth year. The QUEEN expressed a wish to see her, and Colonel COLLINS arranged for Mrs. KEELEY to have the honour of being received at Buckingham Palace yesterday afternoon, when she was presented to HER MAJESTY. The welcome given to the gifted lady, who so wonderfully preserves her health, intelligence, and vivacity, was most graceful and cordial; and the QUEEN was pleased to recall to mind several interesting incidents of the past."-Daily Telegraph, Thursday, March 7.] Он, when I was a little Eton boy, With a heigho! I need not explain, "The KEELEYS" were a wondrous joy, For they were so droll in every play. But now I am at mid 'estate, With a heigho! I need not explain, With our Gracious Queen VIC-TO-RI-A. No Betsy Baker ere like you! With a smile, smirk, I need not explain! I've seen you dance and heard you sing In whatever part you chose to play! That you're about and well we know, Till the curtain falls and ends the play. IMPROVEMENTS IN THE HOUSE OF COMMONS. A SOLUTION OF THE HAT DIFFICULTY. WHY NOT KEEP ON THE PREMISES PORTABLE REPLICAS OF ALL MEMBERS, CAREFULLY MODELLED IN WAX, WITH APPROPRIATELY PADDED FIGURES, WHICH CAN OCCUPY THEIR PLACES DURING ANY TEMPORARY ABSENCE. WHEN IN SITU THE DIFFERENCE IS SCARCELY PERCEPTIBLE. ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT. EXTRACTED FROM THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P. House of Commons, Monday, March 4.-PRINCE ARTHUR still away, dallying with influenza. Recent experience of carefully considered, but not altogether successful effort at leadership by other wing of allied army doesn't make Opposition irrepressibly anxious for more. At least, not just at present. JOKIM shunted off the main line; HICKS-BEACH takes charge of train in temporary absence of regular guard. To-night Ireland coyly comes again to front; JOHN MORLEY brings in still another Land Bill. In such circumstances PRINCE ARTHUR's absence, always regrettable, becomes peculiarly unfortunate. He knows Ireland thoroughly, and where knowledge fails he supplies the lack with inflexible opinion; which, in an Irish Minister or Ex-Minister, is the next best thing to knowledge. The brew thus blended did not prove very exhilarating. Word passed round Opposition benches Land Bill not to be ruthlessly opposed at this stage. With Boanerges RUSSELL approving it on behalf of Ulster farmers, won't do for Unionists to show themselves implacable. So the friendly bowl turns out to be something of the texture of a cup of tea, lukewarm and oversweetened withal. More sad even than compulsory meekness of two statesmen on front beach is depression of SAUNDERSON. The Colonel must needs ramp in on such a question, but is pledged to fight with button on his foil. After this unwonted spectacle House could stand no more; gratefully gave leave to bring in Bill. Business done.-Irish Land Bill brought in. Tuesday.-Quite like old times to-night. The hum of the B's is heard once more in the land, albeit the thermometer registers ten degrees of frost, and every other Cabinet Minister is down with Happily there is CARSON and ST. JOHN BRODRICK. They repre- influenza. It is true BYRNE and BUTCHER have not yet put in sented Front Opposition Bench in Committee on Land Question appearance; but BARTLEY is here and TOMMY B., and Private which sat last year. At one crisis, things not going in Committee HANBURY, who is perhaps more of a wasp than a bee. It is the exactly as they desired to conduct them, they haughtily rose and left sunshine of Committee of Supply that has brought them out. Came the room. A striking scene, never to be effaced from memory of to the front in discussion round money voted for improvements in those who witnessed it. It was, or should have been, like with- arrangements of House of Commons completed in recess. These drawal of props that sustain mighty masonry. The temple should were undertaken by direction of Select Committee, which thoroughly forthwith have toppled, burying in its ruin the ten or twelve went into matter. HERBERT GLADSTONE, who has taken to delicate Members who had differed from middle-aged youth. Nothing hap-duties of First Commissioner as if he had been born in one of the pened except the Committee went on with its work just as if it were Parks, devoted much time and personal attention to seeing improvestill sustained by presence and counsel of the retiring two. Report ments carried out. Members coming back to labours of new Session was completed in sense of majority, and here was presented to House found House swept and garnished. New dining-room and large a Bill founded on its recommendations. smoking-room; baths and wash-houses, where Parliamentary dirty linen may be renovated. To-night the two props of the Constitution resumed their useful service of sustentation. CARSON, as he mentally struggled with the problem of governing Ireland, unconsciously fell into PRINCE ARTHUR's early but now abandoned trick of sitting with his feet on the table. Near him, diligently making notes whilst JOHN MORLEY expounded his Bill, sat ST. JOHN BRODRICK. "There," said CARSON who has not forgotten his POPE "There ST. JOHN mingles with my friendly bowl HERBERT too modest to anticipate vote of thanks for his labours, though almost any other man would in circumstances look for such recognition. Still, if something of that sort had been incidentally done, no one would have been much surprised. So far from any little embarrassment of that kind arising here, HANBURY, in deepest chest notes and most inflated manner, accusing him of undertaking large and costly works without first obtaining sanction of House. Most unconstitutional!" cries TOMMY BOWLES, in severest tones. 66 |