Mr. St-dd-rt, Captain of the English Eleven, with Mr. G-f-n, the Australian Captain, sing in harmony"THE LION AND THE KANGAROO

THE LION LICKED THE KANGAROO

"OVER!"

Or, The Battle of the Bats.

The Lion and the Kangaroo
Fighting for the Crown,
The Lion licked the Kangaroo-
Helped by Mister BROWN!

AIR-" Battle of the Baltic."
OF STODDART-splendid name!-
Sing the rapturous renown,
When our boys to battle came,

All to win the Cricket Crown;

Though Australia once again the toss had

won.

But the Britons took their stand

In a bold determined band,

And the Best Bat in the Land
Led them on.

Like "Leviathan" in form,

Little GREGORY laid on,

Doughty DARLING made it warm,

And GEORGE GIFFEN, fadeless one,

Smote our trundlers with a coolness quite sublime.

Four-One-Four! The "wire" so saith!-
There was silence deep as death,
And our boldest held his breath
For a time.

But the hopes of England flushed

On that mighty Melbourne green; How young WARD and STODDART rushed O'er the space those stumps between!

Sixty-eight our Captain piled, and the fun
Cool MACLAREN kept alive;

With Six-Score! BOB PEEL did strive,
And our score was Three-Eight-Five
Ere 'twas done!

Australia once again!

And the scoring does not slack.

May kind heaven avert the rain,

Till the last bat hies him back!

At good shots how the cheers break and boom

Round the ring!-and oh! the wail

At the click of flying bail,

As the Richardsonian hail

Pelts-like doom!

day

BROCKWELL, prey to bad luck's blight,
Is again out of the fight,

WARD and STODDART in, to smite
As they may.

Two-six-nine more runs to make!
And one leading wicket down!-
Old World, let thine echoes wake

With the honoured name of BROWN,

Yorkshire BROWN the last selected, but not

least,

Oh! to see him smite and run,

With Lancashire's great gun,
ALBERT WARD, to share the fun
Was a feast!

One-forty! Ninety-three!

Though, for once, stout STODDART failed, That left few more runs, d'ye see?

And though TROTT and GIFFEN hailed

At the stumps, and JARVIS watched like a cat,
Young MACLAREN and BOB PEEL
Won the match slap off the reel,
By six wickets! How d'ye feel
JOHN, at that!

Out spake the victor then

(And we echo him o'er the wave), "Ye are brothers, trumps, and men! And it was the narrowest shave That victory to us Britons did allot. That Crown, as is but meet,

IN THE COURT OF COMMON SENSE (LATE PLEAS).

(Before Mr. Justice Reason.)

HIS Lordship asked whether Brown v. Jones was ready? Mr. Bands. No, my Lord. I am requested by my learned friend, Mr. WIGGE (who is in the Strand), to say that unfortunately

His Lordship (interrupting). Oh, very well! if the parties do not take sufficient interest in the matter to appear here at the proper time, I shall assume that the whole affair is frivolous, and strike it out. Next case please.

A Mr. SMITH rose in the body of the Court and said that he appeared in person.

His Lordship. Is the defendant here?

Mr. Bands. I appear for the defendant, my Lord, Mr. SNOOKS. Allow me to say that

His Lordship (interrupting). No, no, Mr. BANDS; your turn will come by-and-by. I will hear what the plaintiff has to say first. Now you, Sir-I mean Mr. SMITH-what is it all about?

The plaintiff then entered into a lengthy narrative of certain negotiations about the purchase of a house.

His Lordship (interrupting). Do you want to buy the place, now? Mr. Smith. No, my Lord, at least

His Lordship. You said no, and I suppose you meant what you said. And now, Mr. BANDS, does you client want to sell the house? Mr. Bands (promptly). Certainly not, my Lord; but perhaps you will allow me to explain.

His Lordship. Explanation absolutely unnecessary. No order, and Mr. SNOOKS, as he has gone to the expense of instructing (to my mind absolutely unnecessarily) counsel, will have the pleasure of paying for the luxury. Next case.

In this instance both the litigants appeared in person. The question in dispute was a right-of-way.

His Lordship. Now, gentlemen, although you have elected to appear before me without any intermediary, I am bound to tell you that if the matter is carried further-to superior courts-you will find yourselves both landed in heavy costs. What do you say, Mr. JOHNSON?

Mr. Johnson (one of the litigants). Well, of course, my Lord, I don't want that; but if I win my cause, why Mr. THOMPSON will have to pay for us both.

His Lordship. Come, come; I see there is a good deal of personal feeling in this matter. Take my advice and settle it amicably. I do not sit on this bench to encourage gambling, but if either of you has in his possession, what I believe was called by Mr. Box in the case of Box versus Cor, a tossing" sixpence, you might come to an understanding in five minutes. I will wait until you have conferred with one another.

86

The litigants upon this invitation held a consultation. Mr. Johnson. It is all right, my Lord. I called heads, andHis Lordship (interrupting). I don't want to hear anything about that so long as Box and Cox-I should say, JOHNSON and THOMPSON-are satisfied, the rest is immaterial. And now, is there any further business before me?

His Lordship was informed that there were ten causes to be heard, and that all the parties were in attendance.

clients are present. His Lordship. Am I to understand that not only counsel but their

Mr. Bands (after consultation). Certainly, my Lord. His Lordship. Then allow me to address them en bloc. Now I will set everything right. am quite sure that a few minutes' conversation amongst yourselves Commence with the very sensible comes of it. I will retire to my room to let you have a chat in comassumption that anything is better than litigation, and see what fort. When you are all ready, send for me. But mind, take my advice, and hold to the sensible assumption that anything is better than litigation.

his suggestion. After a quarter of an hour's conference the Judge His Lordship then retired, and the parties interested acted upon

was summoned into Court.

His Lordship. Well, and what is the decision?

Mr. Bands (in a melancholy tone). May it please your Lordship all the cases have been settled out of court.

His Lordship. So much the better. And now as I have cleared off my entire list, I bid you an affectionate farewell. The Court was then adjourned sine die.

SHAKSPEARE'S ADVICE AFTER THE L. C. C. ELECTION.-" Furnish out a Moderate Table."-Timon of Athens, Act III., Scene 4.

DULL.

SILENT!

["He (the late ISMAIL PASHA) did not conceal his opinion that Egypt should be left to the Egyptians, but admitted that a strong Government was indispensable. He thought that in any circumstances a great deal would depend upon the character of the Khedive. ISMAIL believed that if the Khedive were a competent and energetic ruler, a satisfactory state of affairs might be established in Egypt within a very short time."-" Times" Vienna Correspondent.]

COULD PENTAOUR, the Copt poet-laureate, scribe, bard and friend of the King,

Sing now, as aforetime to RAMESES, how, and of what should he sing P

Of Nile given up to the Giaour, its increase made o'er to the Jew

of screw ?

Modern PHARAOH would gladly let go with his bonds and his power
Of RA superseded by APIS, of RAMESES bluffed by JOHN BULL,
Of the pride of the pashas o'erthrown, of the cup of the fellaheen
full?

Should he sing of the anger of ABBAS, the fretful and furious boy,
Who with tantrums, and toys, and intrigues, would the counsels' of
CROMER destroy?

Nay, for he sang of heroes and men, of the might of victorious gods, And not of a petulant child with the charge of his champions at odds,

Or of journalists iuggling with words, or financiers jobbing with

bonds.

Young ABBAS fares forth to the Sphinx, to the secular Sphinx, that responds

To none save the fate-ordered questioner. Look at that stony set face,

Which the passing of many an empire, the waning of many a race Hath seen in its stare o'er the sand-wastes! It PENTAOUR beheld in its pride;

And now the boy ABBAS, in eager-eyed question, creeps close to the side

Of the age-battered Oracle! Hist! All the desert is still as the sky.

Do the voices of forty fled centuries sound on the breeze that breathes by?

Bear they meanings the Frank would acclaim, or the latter-day Hebrew approve?

Those Voices are hard to interpret, that Sphinx is not easy to move.

It would speak with the music of MEMNON, in ABBAS's ears, did it say

[away. The Frank shall return whence he came, and the Briton betake him Yet ISMAIL the shrewd, the unscrupulous, knew what young ABBAS must learn, That a Government strong to subsist, which no blast of intrigue can o'erturn, [of old, Is not shapen of shifting Nile sands, broken reeds, which, like Egypt But pierce through the hand that shall rest on them. ABBAS the boy may be bold,

With a thoughtless boy-boldness, but is he the Khedive keen ISMAIL foresaw,

Of character 'stablished on justice, of force firmly founded on law? Poor boy, eager-eyed, half exultant, he lifts, half inquiry half His Voice of Appeal to the Sphinx. On the air of the desert how plaint, [faint Sound his words, "Is it Egypt, O Sphinx, for Egyptians ?" There comes no reply, [sky, But straight o'er the sands, as of old, staring forth to the weird desert Unmoved, unresponsive, indifferent, gazes that stony face still, Incarnation of calm most colossal, cold patience, immovable will, Looking far beyond time, far above human hope, mere midge-fret of the day, Into what? There's no mortal who knows, and the Sphinx, if it know, doth not say. [appeal; 'Tis silent-with silence that means not consent to the youth's wild Still, still the set face which is stone gazes forth on a sky which is steel!

THE ONE TOPIC.

First Man (impressively). I was in bed for a week. Second Man (indifferently). I was in bed for a fortnight. First Man (boastfully). Ah, but I had most severe pains in my back and head.

Second Man (contemptuously). Very likely. I had most severe pains all over me.

First Man (exultingly). Well, anyhow, my temperature was 10340. Second Man (crushingly). Oh, that's nothing! Mine was 107°. [Exit in opposite directions.