Such things as might offend the weakest spleen Par. Else might the world convince of levity Pri. Paris, you speak Like one besotted on your sweet delights: Par. Sir, I propose not merely to myself Ther. How now, Thersites ? what, lost in the labyrinth of thy fury? Shall the elephant Ajax carry it thus ? he beats me, and I rail at him: O worthy satisfaction! 'would it were otherwise; that I could beat him whilst he railed at me: 'Sfoot, I'll learn to conjure and raise devils, but I'll see some issue of my spiteful execrations. Then there's Achilles,-a rare engineer. If Troy be not taken till these two undermine it, the walls will stand till they fall of themselves. O [soms?thou great thunder-darter of Olympus, forget that thou art Jove the king of gods; and, Mercury, lose all the serpentine craft of thy Caduceus ;‡ if ye take not that little little less-than-little wit from them that they have! which short-armed ignorance itself knows is so abundant scarce, it will not in circumvention deliver a fly from a spider, without drawing their massy irons, and cutting the web. After this, the vengeance on the whole camp! or, rather, the bone-ache! for that, methinks, is the curse dependent on those that war for a placket. I have said my prayers; and devil, envy, say Amen. What, ho! my lord Achilles ! On terms of base compulsion? Can it be, And on the cause and question now in hand Have hears more deaf than adders to the voice If Helen then be wife to Sparta's king ;- To have her back return'd: Thus to persist In doing wrong, extenuates not wrong, But makes it much more heavy. Hector's opi Enter PATROCLUS. Patr. Who's there? Thersites? Good Thersites, come in and rail. Ther. If I could have remembered a gilt counterfeit, thou wouldest not have slipped out of my contemplation: but it is no matter: Thyself upon thyself! The common curse of mankind, folly and ignorance, be thine in great revenue! heaven bless thee from a tutor, and discipline come not near thee! Let thy blood § be thy direction till thy death! then if she, that lays thee out, says-thou art a fair corse, I'll be sworn and sworn upon't, she never shrouded any but lazars. Amen.-Where's Achilles ? Patr. What, art thou devout? wast thou in prayer? Ther. Ay; The heavens hear me ! Enter ACHILLES. Achil. Who's there? Patr. Thersites, my lord. Achil. Where, where ?-Art thou come? Why, my cheese, my digestion, why hast thou not served thyself in to my table so many meals ? Come; what's Agamemnon ? Ther. Thy commander, Achilles :-Then tell me, Patroclus, what's Achilles? Patr. Thy lord, Thersites; Then tell me, I pray thee, what's thyself? Ther. Thy knower, Patroclus; Then tell nie, Patr. Thou mayest tell, that knowest. Ther. I'll decline the whole question. Agamemnon commands Achilles; Achilles is my lord; I am Patroclus' knower; and Patroclus is a fool. Achil. He is a privileged man.-Proceed, [We come to speak with him: And you shall not Thersites. Ther. Agamemnon is a fool: Achilles is a fool; Thersites is a fool; and, as aforesaid, Patroclus is a fool. Achil. Derive this; come. Ther. Agamemnon is a fool to offer to command Achilles; Achilles is a fool to be commanded of Agamemnon; Thersites is a fool to serve such a fool; and Patroclus is a fool positive. Patr. Why am I a fool? Ther. Make that demand of the prover.-It suffices me, thou art. Look you, who comes here! Ester AGAMEMNON, ULYSSES, NESTOR, DIOMEDES, and AJAX. Achil. Patroclus, I'll speak with nobody:Come in with me, Thersites. [Exit. Ther. Here is such patchery, such juggling, and such knavery! all the argument is, a cuckold and a whore; A good quarrel to draw emulous⚫ factions, and bleed to death upon! Now the dry serpigot on the subject! and war and lechery confound all! [Exit. Agam. Where is Achilles? Patr. Within his tent; but ill dispos'd, my lord. Agam. Let it be known to him that we are here. He shent our messengers; and we lay by - Patr. I shall say so to him. tent: He is not sick. Ajar. Yes, lion-sick, sick of proud heart: you may call it melancholy, if you will favour the man; but, by my bead, 'tis pride: But why, why? let him show us a cause.-A word, my Jord. [Takes AGAMEMNON aside. Nest. What moves Ajax thus to bay at him? Ulyss. Achilles hath inveigled his fool from him. Nest. Who? Thersites ? Nest. Then will Ajax lack matter, if he have ost his argument. [] Ulyss. No you see, he is his argument, that has bis argument; Achilles. Nest. All the better; their fraction is more our wish, than their faction: But it was a strong composure, a fool could disunite. Ulyss. The amity that wisdom knits not, folly may easily untie. Here comes Patroclus. Re-enter PATROCLUS. Nest. No Achilles with him. Ulyss. The elephant bath joints, but none for courtesy: his legs are legs for necessity, not for flexure. Patr. Achilles bids me say-he is much sorry, If an thing more than your sport and pleasure Did move your greatness, and this noble state, To call upon him: he hopes, it is no other, But for your health and your digestion sake, And after-dinner's breath. ¶ Agam. Hear you, Patroclus ; We are too well acquainted with these answers: Much attribute he hath; and much the reason sin, If you do say-we think him over-proud, Here tend the savage strangeness + he puts on; [Exit. Agam. In second voice we'll not be satisfied, We come to speak with him.-Ulysses, enter. [Exit ULYSSES. Ajax. What is he more than another? Agam. No more than what he thinks he is. Ajax. Is he so much? Do you not think, he thinks himself a better man than I am? Agam. No question. Ajax. Will you subscribe his thought, and say -he is? Agam. No, noble Ajax; you are as strong, as valiant, as wise, no less noble, much more gentle, and altogether more tractable. Ajar. Why should a man be proud? How doth pride grow? I know not what pride is. Agam. Your mind's the clearer, Ajax, and your virtues the fairer. He that is proud, eats up himself: pride is his own glass, his own trumpet, his own chronicle; and whatever praises itself but in the deed, devours the deed in the praise. Ajax. I do hate a proud man, as I hate the engendering of toads. Nest. And yet he loves himself: Is it not strange? [Aside. Re-enter ULYSSES. Ulyss. Achilles will not to the field to-mor row. Agam. What's his excuse? Agam. Why will he not, upon our fair re. quest, Untent his person, and share the air with us? Ulyss. Things small as nothing, for request's [greatness; sake only, He makes important: Possess'd he is with That, 'twixt his mental and his active parts, Agam. Let Ajax go to him. Dear lord, go you and greet him in his tent : 'Tis said he holds you well: and will be led, At your request, a little from himself. Ulyss. O Agamemnon, let it not be so We'll consecrate the steps that Ajax makes When they go from Achilles: shall the proud lord, That bastes his arrogance with his own seam, • Attend. + Shyness. t Obey Fits of lunacy. Approbatio. Swine-seam is hog's lard. Ulyss. The raven [Aside. [Aside. Agam. He'll be physician, that should be the patient. [Aside. Ajax. An all men Were o' my mind, Ulyss. Wit would be out of fashion. [Aside. Ajar. He should not bear it so, He should eat swords first: Shall pride carry it ? Nest. An 'twould, you'd carry half. Ulyss. He'd have ten shares. Ajax. I'll knead him, I will make him supple Nest. He's not yet thorough warm: force him with praises : Pour in, pour in; his ambition is dry. [Aside. Ulyss. My lord, you feed too much on this dislike. [To AGAMEMNON. Nest. O noble general, do not do so. Dio. You must prepare to fight without Achil.es. Ulyss. Why, 'tis this naming of him does him harm. Here is a man-But 'tis before his face; I will be silent. Nest. Wherefore should you so? He is not emulous as Achilles is. Ulyss. Know the whole world, he is as va liant. Ajax. A whoreson dog, that shall palter ¶ thus with us! I would he were a Trojan! Nest. What a vice Were it in Ajax now—— Dio. Or covetous of praise ? Dio. Or strange, or self-affected? Ulyss. Thank the heavens, lord, thou art of Enter PANDARUS and a SERVANT. Pan. Friend! you! pray you, a word: Do not you follow the young lord Paris? Serv. Ay, Sir, when he goes before me. Pan. You do depend upon him, I mean? Serv. Sir, I do depend upon the lord. Pan. You do depend upon a noble gentle. man; I must needs praise him. Serv. The lord be praised! Pan. You know me, do you not? Pan. Friend, know me better; I am the lord Pandarus. Serv. I hope, I shall know your honour bet ter. Pan. I do desire it. Serv. You are in the state of grace. [Music within. Pan. Grace! not so, friend; honour and lordship are my titles :--What music is this? Serv. I do but partly know, Sir; it is music in parts. Pan. Know you the musicians ? Pan. Who play they to? Serv. To the hearers, Sir. Pan. At whose pleasure, friend? Serv. At mine, Sir, and their's that love music. Pan. Command, I mean, friend. Serv. Who shall I command, Sir? Pan. Friend, we understand not one another; I am too courtly, and thou art too cunning: At whose request do these men play f Serv. That's to't, indeed, Sir: Marry, Sir at the request of Paris my lord, who is there in person; with him, the mortal Venus, the heartblood of beauty, love's invisible soul, Pan. Who, my cousin Cressida ? Serv. No, Sir, Helen; Could you not find out that by her attributes ? Pan. It should seem, fellow, that thou hast not seen the lady Cressida. I come to speak with Paris from the prince Troilus: I will make a complimental assault upon him, for my business Pan. Rude, in sooth; in good sooth, very rude. Par. Well said, my lord! well, you say so in ats.. Pan. I have business to my lord, dear queen : My lord, will you vouchsafe me a word? Helen. Nay, this shall not hedge us out; we'll hear you sing, certainly. Pan. Well, sweet queen, you are pleasant with me. But (marry) thus, my lord,-My dear lord, and most esteemed friend, your brother Troilus The shaft confounds, But tickles still the sore. These lovers cry-Oh! oh! they die! Yet that which seems the wound to kill, Doth turn oh! oh! to ha! ha! he! So dying love lives still: Oh! oh! a while, but ha! ha! ha! Oh oh! groans out for ha! ha! ha! Hey bo! Helen. In love, i'faith, to the very tip of the nose. Par. He eats nothing but doves, love; and that breeds hot blood, and hot blood begets hot thoughts, and hot thoughts beget hot deeds, and hot deeds is love. Pan. Is this the generation of love? hot blood, hot thoughts, and hot deeds ?-Why, they are vi pers: Is love a generation of vipers ? Sweet lord, who's a-field to-day? Par. Hector, Deiphobus, Helenus, Antenor, and all the gallantry of Troy: I would fain have arm. Helen. My lord Pandarus; honey-sweeted to-night, but my Nell would not have it so. lord, Pan. Sweet queen, sweet queen; that's a sweet queen, i'faith. Helen. And to make a sweet lady sad, is a sour offence. How chance my brother Troilus went not? Helen. He hangs the lip at something ;-you know all, lord Pandarus. Pan. Not I, honey-sweet queen,-I long to hear how they sped to-day.-You'll remember your brother's excuse? Pan. Nay, that shall not serve your turn; that shall it not, in truth, la. Nay, I care not for such words; no, no.-And, my lord, he desires you, that, if the king call for him at sup-To per, you will make his excuse. Helen. My lord Pandarus, Pan. What says my sweet queen,-my very very sweet queen? Par. What exploit's in hand? where sups he to-night ? Helen. Nay, but my lord, and one on ones Pan. What says my sweet queen ?-My cousin will fall out with you. You must not know where be sups. Par. I'll lay my life, with my disposer Cres sida. Pan. No, no, no such matter, you are wide;+ come, your disposer is sick. Par. Well, I'll make excuse. Pan: Ay, good my lord. Why should you say -Cressida? no, your poor disposer's sick. Par. I spy. Pan. You spy! what do you spy?-Come, give me an instrument.-Now, sweet queen. Helen. Why, this is kindly done. Pan. My niece is horribly in love with a thing you have, sweet queen. Helen. She shall have it, my lord, if it be not my lord Paris. Pan. He! no, she'll none of him; they two are twain. Helen. Falling in, after falling out, may make them three. Pan. Come, come, I'll hear no more of this I'll sing you a song now. ; Helen. Ay, ay, pr'ythee now. By my troth, sweet lord, thou hast a fine forehead. Pan. Ay, you may, you may. To Par. To a hair. Pan. Farewell, sweet queen. Helen. Commend me to your niece. [Exit. [A Retreat sounded. Par. They are come from field: let us to Priam's ball, greet the warriors. Sweet Helen, I must woo you help unarm our Hector: his stubborn buc kles, With these your white enchanting fingers touch'd, vant, Paris : Yea, what he shall receive of us in duty, Give us more palm in beauty than we have; Yea, overshines ourself. Par. Sweet, above thought I love thee. [Exeunt. SCENE II.-The same. PANDARUS' Orchard. Enter PANDARUS and a SERVANT, meeting. Pan. How now? where's thy master? at my cousin Cressida's? Serv. No, Sir; he stays for you to conduct him thither. Enter TROILUS. Pan. Oh! here he comes.-How now, how now? Tro. Sirrah, walk off. [Exit. SERVAN. Pan. Have you seen my cousin? Tro. No, Pandarus: I stalk about her door, Like a strange soul upon the Stygian banks Staying for waftage. Oh be thou my Charon, And give me swift transportance to those fields, Where I may wallow in the lily beds, Propos'd for the deserver! O gentle Paudarus, Helen. Let thy song be love: this love will From Cupid's shoulder pluck his painted wings, I fear it much; and I do fear besides, Re-enter PANDARUS. Pan. She's making her ready, she'll come straight you must be witty now. She does so blush, and fetches her wind so short, as if she were frayed with a sprite: I'll fetch her. It is the prettiest villain :-she fetches her breath as short as a new-ta'en sparrow. [Exit PANDARUS. Tro. Even such a passion doth embrace my My heart beats thicker than a fevorous pulse; Tro. Are there such? such are not we: Praise us as we are tasted, allow us as we prove ; our head shall go bare, till merit crown it: no perfection in reversion shall have a praise in present: we will not name desert, before his birth; and, being born, his addition shall be humble. Few words to fair truth: Troilus shall be such to Cressid, as what envy can say worst, shall be a mock for his truth; and what truth can speak truest, not truer than Troilus. Cres. Will you walk in, my lord? Re-enter PANDARUS. Pan. What, blushing still? have you not done talking yet? Cres. Well, uncle, what folly I commit, I dedicate to you. Pan. I thank you for that: if my lord get a boy of you, you'll give him me: Be true to my lord: if he flinch, chide me for it. Tro. You know now your hostages: your uncle's word, and my firm faith. thrown. Enter PANDARUS and CRESSIDA. Pan. Come, come, what need you blush? shame's a baby.-Here she is now: swear the oaths now to her, that you have sworn to me. Pan. Nay, I'll give my word for her too; -What are you gone again? you must be watch-our kindred, though they be long ere they are ed ere you be made tame, must you? Come your wooed, they are constant, being won they are ways, come your ways: an you draw backward, burs, I can tell you; they'll stick where they are we'll put you i'the fills. Why do you not speak to her?-Come, draw this curtain, and let's see Cres. Boldness comes to me now, and brings your picture. Alas the day, how loath you are to offend daylight! an 'twere dark, you'd close sooner. So, so; rub on, and kiss the mistress.+ How now, a kiss in fee-farm! build there, carpenter; the air is sweet. Nay, you shall fight| your hearts out, ere I part you. The falcon as the tercel, for all the ducks i'the river go to, go to. Tro. You have bereft me of all words, lady. Pan. Words pay no debts, give her deeds: but she'll bereave you of the deeds too, if she call your activity in question. What, billing again? Here's-In witness whereof the parties interchangeably-Come in come in; I'll go get a fire. Exit PANDARUS. Cres. Will you walk in, my lord? Tro. O Cressida, how often have I wished me thus ? Cres. Wished my lord ?--The gods grant!-0 my lord! Tro. What should they grant? what makes this pretty abruption? What too curious dreg espies my sweet lady in the fountain of our love? Cres. More dregs than water if my fears have eyes. Tro. Fears make devils cherubins; they never see truly. Cres. Blind fear, that seeing reason leads, finds safer footing than blind reason stumbling without fear: To fear the worst, oft cures the worst. Cres. Nor nothing monstrous neither? Tro. Nothing but our undertakings; when we vow to weep seas, live in fire, eat rocks, tame tigers; thinking it harder for our mistress to devise imposition enough, than for us to undergo any difficulty imposed. This is the monstruosity in love, lady,-that the will is infinite, and the execution confined; that the desire is boundless, and the act a slave to limit. Cres. They, say, all lovers swear more performance than they are able, and yet reserve an ability that they never perform; vowing more than the perfection of ten, and discharging less than the tenth part of one. They that have the voice of lions, and the act of hares, are they not monsters? • I. e. In the shafts. + An allusion to bowling ; what is now called the jack was formerly termed the mistress. The tercel is the male and the falcon the female hawk. me heart: Prince Troilus, I have lov'd you night and day Tro. Why was my Cressid then so hard to Cres. Hard to seem won; but I was won, my fools! Why have I blabb'd? who shall be true to us, Cunning in dumbuess, from my weakness draws Tro. And shall, albeit sweet music issues Cres. My lord, I do beseech you, pardon me ; Pan. Leave? an you take leave till to-morrow morning, Cres. Pray you, content you. Yourself. Cres. Let me go and try: I have a kind of self resides with you; Cres. Perchance my lord, I show more craft And fell so roundly to a large confession, • Titles. |